Second Chance
by LAURAxZABUZA
Summary: Momochi Zabuza's life is changed in an instant...an instant that alters the story of "naruto" as we all know it. Follow this once infamous assasin through his journey to free himself from his debt to Kakashi. MULTIPLE PAIRINGS. INCLUDES SOME SHOUNEN-AI.
1. Prologue

Cuz Zabuza is my favourite ever

This is for him

XOXOXOXOXO

It is a prolog to an long Zabuza saga

…

It was the ice, the unexpected cold. Wooden sandals do not have good traction! How many times did I tell him. And as a shinobi who weilds ice, for mercy's sake, he needs traction on battles!

So it is cruel, that at the end I would end up blaming him, although he was only trying to save me. I moaned with the pain and opened my eyes.

Kakashi was staring at me, snow fell past his silver hair. Was he dead as well? What did I miss?

Last thing I can remember was Haku darting infront of Kakashi's infamous chidori, his sandal slipped as the older shinobi's hand sliced through him and hit me square in the gut.

I closed my eyes again, feeling the pain overwhelm me…hah, demon? I was always one to over-exaggerate!

…

All was warm, and I could smell fresh cut wood. That had always been a nice smell. It was fresh and inviting, but if you thought about it it embodied death.

"Zabuza," I frowned…how dare that Hatake brat interrupt my death with his arrogant voice. Okay, over-exaggeration again…we are the same age…but he is still a little snobby upstart!

I open my eyes, they feel weighted, unwilling to take in my death-dream.

"What the fuck do you want?" I sat up, noting the pain in my abdomine, though it is less now.

"That is not nice, considering I just saved your ass."

"Hunh?"

"Yea, Gato showed up and, thinking you were dead, started blabbering on how he was going to kill you after you finished Tazuna and all that shit. So I killed him, and, pitying you for all your worth, dragged your ass back here and put you on the mends. That was three days ago, you lazy arse."

I frowned…not dead hunh? Oh well, just round up Haku and continue earning the dirt money I more than deserve.

_Warm blood splatters on my face. I turn and see Haku's eyes before the dark claimes me. They are milky and still. No longer do they search my face, desperate for the love he knows I am so poor at giving. _

"Haku's dead" I said before I had even registered it in my mind.

"If that's what your sad little follower's name was…yea."

"Follower:…for a second I had thought he said "flower". But wasn't he? My sad little flower. My frosten white bud. My Haku. Shinobi do not posess emotions. Especially ex-leaders of the ruthless mist villages ANBU Black Ops turned-assasin. But still, he had been there since the beginning of my new life. More than just a partner in crime, I had practically raised the kid.

I looked down, Shinobi do not cry. I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly, man was I sore! I noticed the bandages I usually adorned were missing…I shifted my hand and touched my cheek, my lips. Was I really here?

My fingers lingered on my lips for a prolonged moment.

"_Zabuza, I thank you for teaching me so much"_

"_Yea."_

"_I am sorry you could not fully teach me…to be a shinobi"_

_A slim body presses overt mine, for just a moment…a prolonged moment._

"_To be emotionless…I have failed"_

_Soft white lips on mine, one of the few times I didn't have my face covered, when Haku tended my wounds. It was in this state that he had kissed me._

I close my eyes.

"Tired much?"

I looked at Kakashi for the first time in this room, so virginal with its fresh smell…I ruin it. Kakashi smiles, he doesn't have his mask on. I cannot help but raise one slender eyebrow, a look I mastered, always sending Haku into giggle fits…damn, I need to stop thinking about him.

Kakashi cocked his head and his smile went askew, it was a battle of looks in the quizzical fashion. I turned away.

"Put your fucking mask back on…you look like a girl."

Kakashi laughed loudly…maybe I won…and laid his hand on my shoulder.

"You need some manners." He stood up and held out his hand. "Come on, you gotta be starving."

I scoweled but accepted the assistance in standing…I had no idea I would be this dizzy.

We ate breakfast…closer to lunch probably. Kakashi said he had to leave, something about sending the kids out ahead and needing to catch up before they all managed to stumble off a cliff.

I grunted, not giving him the satisfaction of my laughter.

"Well, you need to stay here. This is a new house Tazuna just completed, I kept you alive to assist him and your new identity is Ichibashi Kazuya, you are Tazuna's nephew from the mist country. You are not a shinobi, you have no ninjutsu, taijutsu, genjutsu, NOTHING. You are merely here to assist your uncle in his carpentry. Any questions?"

I was dumbfounded.

"Hunh?"

"Listen, you are a fugitive. Disobey me and I will no longer show you mercy. Obey and you will live out a long, be it simple life." Kakashi laid his hand on my shoulder as his other hand opened the fromt door. "Just be happy with what you have been given, okay? A reversal of attitude, you needed it."

I watched as he sprinted off into the trees…I was still dumbstruck, but I knew that I really was given a gift. First goal, pay thanks to Haku for giving it to me, and for everything in between.

…

Like I said, this is just a prolog.

Later we get into some

Really fun stuff!


	2. Rebirth

"Kazuya, help me bring that wood to the house then join us for dinner, no?"

I frowned, an usual expression for me. I didn't like the name Kakashi picked out on a whim, nor did I particularly like Tazuna…or maybe I did. Crazy old drunk that he was, he was actually a pretty amuzing guy. And perverted at times too. Always making dirty comments on the girls in the market. He was probably the first person to hear me laugh since I was a kid.

"Yes Tazuna," I started loading the wood into my arms. In the winters there was hardly any carpentry needing done, so the wood was mainly for keeping warm.

"Yes to carrying wood or joining us for dinner?"

"Hunh…both I guess"

"Haha! I never get over your little façade! Acting all macho while taking orders from an senile fool like me! Bah!"

I snickered, a few years ago and he would have lost his head. Damn old fool.

"And being gay to boot! You never get old do ya boy? Don't worry, I wont tell yer gal."  
I rolled my eyes, it was useless explaining for the undredth time that I wasn't gay. The old man caught me making out furiously with a local guy, couple years younger than me and a lot smaller, last summer. Now he just will not let it go. Plus I had a two year old son . THAT took the most adjusting to. I wasn't sure who the mother was. Let's just say, within my first yea in The Land of Waves, I took some long neglected liberties. Of course Tazuna thinks I DO know Fuyu's mother is.

"What do you say we get goin, hunh, Tazuna?"

"Er, yea it's getting colder out here by the minute!" Tazuna looked up and scratched his head under his hat. "Wouldn't be surprised if it snows tonight." He looked at me, knowing what that meant to me.

Haku

He had never seemed more important until he was gone.

We walked slowly to Tazuna's house from the woods. We had to cross the bridge, boy was it long! I had not checked into who I was assassinating when I took that fateful job four years ago. I looked at the sign and snorted.

"The Great Naruto Bridge"

I would have named it after Haku…he died after all. That kid, Naruto, he was just some nusance.

Days passed like this.

I worked for Tazuna, usually ate dinner with him and his family. His daughter Tsuname watches my son while I am working. I do not like to bother her with it, but she seems to enjoy it since her own child has grown into his own. I then take Fuyu home, make sure he is to bed proper, then I retire. Some nights I walk to the hill, where Haku is buried, and the Executioner used to stand, sticking out of the ground like a bad omen. Then one day it was gone.

…

It was when the spring came. Fuyu had turned three in January, and was getting used to the whole birthday routine. I had picked him out a little mitten-puppet. It looked like a shark and had eyes whose pupils rolled about repulsively. He had taken to "biting" my nose with it. I always find it amazing how he has warmed me.

Tazuna was gone, on some job somewhere. He told me to stay with Fuyu and take care of tasks around here. He took his grandson, Inari instead.

All was serene, perfect. Fuyu had just fallen asleep on the rug and I was dropping off in a chair when I heard that voice.

How I recognized it, I will never know. I just knew that it was a voice I had known…from a life I left so long ago.

I'm not talking about my last life…as an assassin.

But before that. As an respectable citizen of the Hidden Mist village. I was the leader of ANBU, only nineteen when I was assigned a young apprentice. We were both too young for me to take him on as a full time student, I was merely his senpai. I was to teach the brat swordsmanship.

I looked out the window as he asked a question I didn't believe I was hearing. He asked about my sword. The man he asked referred him to the very hill I visit so often.

I looked at the boy. He was tall, slender, pale, fair-haired and feisty . Too much attitude to have ever been successful as MY apprentice. Lucky for both of us, I left the village two years later.

His traveling partner was…wait. I looked closer and couldn't believe it.

Did this mean Kakashi was here too?

It was one of his brats.

I didn't know his name, but he was the raven-haired one. I was concerned as to why they were here…together…looking for MY sword. As they walked off, I stepped out the door…

"Daddy," I turned around. Something in the uncomfortable atmosphere at woken Fuyu…He was standing at my heels holding his shark.

"I need to go somewhere really fast Fuyu. Be a big boy and stay here. If you need something, go see Tsuname."

Fuyu looked unhappy, threatening to cry…I sighed.

"Okay, then…" I tried to dismiss what I had seen and heard and picked up my son. I returned to my chair, the recent sight still playing in my mind. I felt old, for the first time in, well, ever. A young boy I had known years ago, a young man now really, seeking out my grave, probably believing I have been dead for a few years now. And here I am with a kid on my knee.

Fuyu wiggled and reached his arms towards me, shark on his hand. I leaned foreward obediently and he clasped my nose in his mitted hand. Fuyu giggled and made other sounds of joy.

Well maybe I was content with becoming an old man…but a big part of me itched to follow those boys. To break my word. To become one with my old life again.

…

After some thought I changed some stuff.

I BEG you…REVIEW!!

I need input!!! My writers block has become painful!


	3. Into The Wild

Mwahahahah….

Finally, chapter 2!

Enjoy, and plz review!!!

I can get these silly stories out a lot faster with some input!!!

….

….

….

"Tazuna."

"Yes"

We were reaching the edge of the bridge. I couldn't stop thinking about the people I had seen just a couple days ago, yet I had still done nothing. Was I actually getting to old for all that shinobi stuff? I am only 30, and there are plenty of active ninja who are much older than that, some over twice as old! And yet I saw my missing sword yesterday and ignored my natural instinct to track down those brats.

"I am going back to the hill tonight, right after I bring in this wood."

"Really? Hmm…well Tsunami and I can just keep Fuyu in the house tonight."

"That would be a good idea, although I would hate to bother you." Tazuna grunted and put his head down against the oncoming winter wind.

After we placed the wood in a neat stack beside the house I left for the hill. I crossed the bridge with a fast pace and a drawn mind. I was going to see which direction they went and determine from that if I would follow them.

Suigetsu, the boy I knew from so long ago, was from the Mist Village, which is to the North. The other boy was from Konohagakure, the Leaf Village, which was to the West. I wasn't sure which direction would indicate exactly what action I would take, but something tells me I will know when the time comes.

I recognized the subtle disruption in the beat of my heart and the flow of my thought as I turned onto the trail that led to the place of Haku's burial. I had felt remorseful for what had happened to that boy, for what I had caused. But, always being the hardened man I am, I never could accept those feelings completely or act on them whatsoever.

As I approached the base of the small hill, I took a breath to steady myself. I was not there to mourn Haku as I had before; I was there to track. As a former ANBU of Kirigakure, tracking is an expertise of mine. Within only a short glance at the surrounding are, I could see that they headed north.

_Is Suigetsu planning on returning to the Mist?_

It was definitely a possibility, although the Konoha boy would be less than welcome. And if I followed, I would be ambushed on sight. Treason was intolerable in Kiri, punishable by death. Although I did hear that the position of Mizukage has finally changed hands after numerous years of the Third's brutal and tyrannical ruling, I still doubt that they have forgotten or forgiven me for the attempted assassination nine years ago.

I thought all this through from top to bottom and found no prudent excuse for my returning to Kiri. Yet, I could not deny the longing for a little danger, some misadventure, to once again live the life of a shinobi.

Maybe if I just follow their trail until I can tell for sure if they are going to the Mist or not.

_Yes, that was it. Handle this situation cautiously; yet sedate the hunger for stimulation._ I nodded with satisfaction through my decision. Yet I became more fervent with the thought of what I might do when I find out where they are going.

The were sticking to the main road, which may suggest that there is no foul play at hand, yet they are kids. Kids like to be gutsy and brash, which may mean there is foul play and they are just baiting for an encounter. There was a small fork in the road, and there trail led away from the typical route to Kirigakure. I followed, curiosity seizing me. About a mile further, as the sun began to light the now frequent hills that grew rapidly into the foothills of the mountains that frame the Village Hidden in the Mist, the road forked again.

One road led to a mountain pass used generally for the transportation of goods in and out of Kiri, away from usual foot-traffic. Then the other road was small, more like a trail, and lead further into the less-inhabited portion of the mountains. That area used to be home to the Kaguya clan before they were wiped out around nine years ago when they attacked Kiri. The land was wild and Kiri never bothered with the taming of it after the Kaguya were eradicated. Yet, this is where Suigetsu and Kakashi's pupil had gone.

_What am I going to do now? By now Tazuna would have realized I am not coming back, he may have even alerted Kakashi. So I might as well go on, but what about Fuyu._ I frowned. I knew Tsunami would take care of him, but could I ever see my son again? This was certainly bothering me, yet I do realize that now I am, once again, an active shinobi. I could merely take Fuyu back whenever I get back to the Land of Waves. Killing anyone who gets in my way…just like the old days.

Just thinking this made me realize I had made the decision a long time ago. I am a shinobi, and I will always be a shinobi no matter what.

I nodded, once again, and sprinted down the trail leading into the wild…where I belong.

…

I was traveling for just over half an hour when I came across clear signs of a recent passing. I further quieted my steps and moved swiftly in the direction of the indications with my breath low in my chest. A few brief moments passed and I could hear voices ahead, just as I came over a small hill, I could see my targets, and I took to the trees.

"I thought I heard something, Sasuke."

…

oooooooh!

Hahaha

Leave u hanging!

Anyways plz review, as always

And go to my pro to vote which (or all) of my stories I should post in manga format!!!!

Yup

Love laura!


	4. The Demon Still Guards His Sword

Yay, the next chapter after a very cruel cliffhanger

Lol

also my writers block [for this story] is nearly gone

I have already planned through all the way to the end, so these next chapters

Should be pumped out pretty fast!!!!

Enjoii!!!!!

[FYI: this chap changes POV for the first little bit, to eliminate confusion]

….

"I thought I heard something Sasuke."

Sasuke bluntly ignored me, or so it seemed. At a second glance I saw his eyes expertly scanning the trees surrounding the trail to the North Hideout.

"Sa-"

"Shut up," Sasuke stopped and in a second had jumped into the trees, chidori singing in his hand.

I ran to follow but he told me to stay where I was.

"Keep aware, don't let anything escape you."

"Heh, yea, yea, yea…running off to show off his beef-headedness." I laughed to myself and leaned on my left leg, relaxing a bit after walking so far. This sword is so heavy!

I could hear Sasuke fighting some opponent or several opponents by the sound of things. Rolling my eyes I assumed it was nothing, or maybe it was guards from the north hideout, that was most likely.

…

I could hear Kakashi's kid fighting my doppelgangers in the forest. I was fortunate that the trail ran alongside a river, so I could easily make my water clones. I had finally decided what to do, I was going to reclaim my sword; I would need it if I was going rogue again.

I looked down from the tree I was in and saw Suigetsu standing in the middle of the trail, staring at his feet and absent-mindedly picking at the bottom of his shirt. He turned to look at the river and I jumped from the tree a fraction of a second later. He hadn't noticed me, which was no surprised.

Suigetsu was always inattentive, but when he was fighting he was a true bloodthirsty terror. A genuine Kiri native.

I walked, my steps never making an audible noise, up to his back. I was so close yet holding my breath as to not blow my position. I put my hand around the hilt of the Executioner without touching it, and smiled as I let my breath out. A pure belligerent move to let him know I was there. Suigetsu stiffened, a wave going through his body, he started to turn and a grasped the hilt. I allowed him to look into my face, surprise written in his violet eyes, before I flung him by the sword over my head. The holster released and he went flying through the air a good thirteen feet and smashed into the trunk of a tree.

I stood, relishing the sensation of my old blade once again in my hand. I watched Suigetsu start to push himself off the ground shakily and I left, disappearing into the trees with newfound adrenaline.

…

I was soaked, alone and utterly aggravated at this little disturbance. The forest was dark, but I caught the identity of the person who had attacked us.

Momochi Zabuza.

I had lived for years, thinking he was dead, I was sure that Kakashi-sensei had killed him on the bridge. As far as I could tell, he had been here, though the only thing I fought were clones. I could sense his chakra nearby.

I left the forest and returned to the trail. I could sense that he had just left, back into the woods most likely. Suigetsu was at the edge of the woods, pushing himself up with trembling arms. The sword he had just obtained was missing.

"So the demon still guards his sword." Suigetsu looked up at me as he gingerly sat against a tree, a small trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth.

"It would appear so," he whimpered a little and held his side.

"Will you be okay?"

"Yea, just give me a minute" He pulled one of his water bottles from his belt and took a long swallow. "I think it's just a few broken ribs, should be back to normal pretty quick."

I nodded; his kekkei genkai still amazed me. At it is quite useful as well. I knew from the second I met him, deep within Orochimaru's hold, that he would be one of the people I would recruit.

Sure enough, he was on his feet in a minute.

"Hey, Sasuke."

"What?"

"I don't think we should continue to the North Hideout. I think maybe _he_ is tied to it somehow."

"Really?" I frowned and considered his words, something rather unlike me, but as belligerent as he was, Suigetsu struck me as a fairly intelligent being. Or maybe intelligent wasn't right, perhaps I just trusted his wild instinct more than my own. Yet I still had to question, "why shouldn't we face him?"

"Well, my old senpai, he was one of the greatest, you know."

"Your point being?"

"Well, maybe instead of going to the North Hideout, we should find him. If he is not tied in with Orochimaru, then we should see if he will join us. You have to admit he would be a much better addition than that b fiery bitch Karin."

I smiled, repressing laughter, he hadn't obtained the privledge of hearing that just yet. "Fine, if you can find him then try to convince him. I will wait in the forest here, if he does not comply or you cannot find him, we will get Karin."

Suigetsu thought for a moment then asked, "me alone?"

"Why not? I am sure that your senpai misses you." I said this but it is not what I meant, and Suigetsu knew it all to well. I was challenging him to go face to face with the old Kiri native who had just knocked him down effortlessly. The moment the words, laced with their not-so-secret meaning, left my lips, I knew he agreed.

"Fine, Sasuke. Either I will return with Zabuza-senpai or I will return with the executioner."

As he sprinted off into the woods, I chuckled, knowing full-well he wasn't out of earshot just yet.

…

REVIEW!!!!

And I will bake you cookies!

But seeing as I do not know where you are

I will eat them…..but I will still love u!!

=D


	5. Explain Yourself

Okay, its been a while [more exams and other time-consuming matters]

But I have gotten down the fourth chapter

I hope everyone reads and leaves pretty reviews

Also you can now find Second Chance on Deviant Art

But I promise, will always get the new chapters first!!!

My DA username is LAURAxZABUZA…as always =]

Enjoii!!!

…

After getting my sword back, I realized I needed to return. Running out without anything and leaving Fuyu to the mercy of people who do not necessarily like or trust me was reckless. I needed to backtrack and plan a little. First off, where was I going to go? I was originally going to leave Fuyu with Tsunami but after thinking it over, I couldn't abandon him.

It was dark, probably around eleven thirty at night, when I stole back into the village. I approached Tazuna's property and noted that all lights were out. Everyone was probably sleeping. Tazuna would have alerted Kakashi of my disappearance and the Copy-Cat Ninja would have set out searching for me, far away from here by now.

I calmly walked to my front door and stepped inside. Fuyu would be with Tsunami most likely and after I got together some supplies for us, I would get him…by force if need be.

"So you can take the boy out of the fight, but not the fight out of the boy…that's the correct proverb for this situation, is it not?"

I stopped and scanned the dark room. Moonlight shined on a chair, seated on it was Kakashi, and sleeping in his arms was my son.

"Yea, I guess so." I struggled to not appear shocked and a little concerned.

"Hmm…" Kakashi set down the book he was reading while he waited for me. "I guess you're a little rusty, assuming I wouldn't have calculated your return for your son. He has gotten big hasn't he?"

I set my sword against the wall and closed the front door. What did Kakashi want, other than confront me on why I left my designated home? If I had to fight him, I would either lose or barely escape.

"Don't you want to explain yourself? If you have good enough reason I wont have to send you to internment."

"I was provoked."

Kakashi laughed. "You think that is a good reason?"

"A boy from my village was here, he was with one of your students, he took my-"

"What? Who was he with?" Kakashi sat up rigid, waking Fuyu who looked around with confusion, as soon as he saw me he smiled and wriggled off of Kakashi.

"The black-haired one, a boy. They were heading North, into the foothills."

Kakashi pondered this for a minute, Fuyu wrapped his arms around my leg and yawned. I reached down and picked him up, he was tired. My desertion probably caused him a busy day. As soon as my son was in my arms, he leaned his head against my chest and his eyes closed.

"You need to come with me. Sasuke is a rogue ninja, someone we have been attempting to track for some time now. We…" Kakashi trailed off, I noticed it too; the slightest of noises just outside the house, now at the door. "We should leave for Konoha immediately." Kakashi moved towards the door as he spoke. When he reached it he placed his hand on the doorknob slowly.

…

I could hear voices inside, although o lights were on. I had tracked Zabuza here and was certain that one of the muffled voices that I heard was his. I stepped up to the door and leaned in, trying to make out what was being said.

Suddenly the door was thrown open and a strong hand grabbed me by the back of my shirt, flipped me through the doorway and slammed me onto my back on the floor.

My reflexes kicked in this time, I kicked the person, who was not my senpai, off of me and attempted to return to my feet only to get knocked down again. This time I turned to my liquid form, narrowly escaping a kunai. I could hear a child crying as I solidified behind my bewildered opponent. Having no weapons on me, I used my fist and punched him hard in the back of the head. He went down and I prepared to attack again when I was yet again grabbed.

…

Suigetsu was a light-weight, I slammed him against the wall behind me. I had to get him off Kakashi, Suigetsu was hostile and wild, and would kill Kakashi with his bare hands with this sort of a chance.

"Kakashi, use chidori now, but do not strike." Without question or pause for thought, Kakashi did as I instructed. He stood just over my shoulder as I held Suigetsu against the wall with my forearm on his throat. "Fuyu, go sit on the chair and wait for me." My frightened son sniffled and then quietly went over to the chair, climbed up then sat down.

Suigetsu flinched and glared at me.

"Don't move or he'll strike." Suigetsu removed the emotion from his face and stared at me. It was unfortunate for him that I was very familiar with his kekkei genkai and jutsu styles. The amount of power put out by Kakashi's unique electric-type jutsu was enough to temporarily stop Suigetsu from using his kekkei genkai without even coming in direct contact with him. It also efficiently affected his current solid state, partially paralyzing him. "Explain, what you are doing here."

I loosened my hold and Suigetsu coughed. "I need to talk to you…in private." He looked at Kakashi vehemently.

"Whatever it is you need to say, you can say right here and right now. Kakashi is a trusted comrad of mine."

"Where is Sasuke?"

Suigetsu looked between us for a moment and then nodded. "Okay fine. I convinced Sasuke that instead of going to the North Hideout to recruit some bitch, that you would join us instead."

"What do you mean 'join?'"

"Sasuke is getting together a squad to help him kill his brother."

"He left Orochimaru?"

"Orochimaru's dead, Sasuke killed him."

I was oblivious to the situation, but Kakashi apparently understood everything Suigetsu was saying. Kakashi stopped the flow of chakra, ending the jutsu and stood up strait.

"Where is he?"

"Why would I tell you? Why do you even want to know?"

"Sasuke is a missing ninja from our village, his whereabouts are a concern of the village. It has been my mission to bring him back to the leaf for two years now."

"Yea, I'm really gonna tell you now."

"Listen, I have an idea. An agreement we can make. Zabuza, let him up now."

I'm not exactly sure at what point I changed to the one taking orders, but I released Suigetsu and stood up. Suigetsu stood with a little difficulty and then leaned against the wall. His curiosity wouldn't let him leave anymore.

"Go on."

"Zabuza will come with you, since he owes me and you apparently would prefer him over whoever this other person is." Suigetsu smirked and nodded. "He will keep an eye on Sasuke for me, as long as he is not getting himself into too much trouble I will delay his capture. Killing his brother is no serious problem since he is a criminal who would be killed on sight if he was found anyways."

I listened and followed the plan, which was reasonable yet I didn't exactly like beoing told to do something.

"Fine," Suigetsu straightened his posture and then looked at me, "when do we leave, Senpai?"

….

Till next time!

laura


	6. PLan In Motion

Once again I was being swept into Kakashi's plans. I knew my patience with Suigetsu wouldn't last long, that had already been proven years earlier. I wasn't sure about the other guy, Sasuke, all I know is that he is a determined fighter. When I met him, I was impressed at his abilities. He could even pose a challenge to Haku, something not many people could say.

As we, Suigetsu, Kakashi, Fuyu and myself, headed to Konoha in the dark of night, I kept an eye on Suigetsu, who would glance at me occasionally. I didn't trust him, and I didn't like him, and I really didn't like dragging Fuyu into all of this.

"Senpai, that sword is pretty heavy, huh."

"Not particularly," I wasn't in the mood for small talk.

"We should probably pick up the pace," Kakashi looked over at me, knowing I didn't want to go very fast because of Fuyu.

"Well I'd need to carry Fuyu, but then one of you would have to carry my sword." I stopped and looked at Suigetsu.

"Uh…I'm gonna pass"

"You took it but didn't intend to carry it?"

"Well I intended to but it was real heavy…I'm kinda glad you took it off my hands." Suigetsu laughed but neither Kakashi or myself found anything very amusing. Suigetsu sighed, "I could carry the kid."

I looked away. I didn't like the idea of this, but it would be the most logical scenario. Both Kakashi and I carried gear and Suigetsu only had the clothes on his back. He couldn't carry the sword, and Kakashi would even struggle with it.

"Hey, I won't bite." We all stood in a mini circle glancing from one person to the other, Fuyu holding my hand and staring at the ground.

I knelt down, "Fuyu, do you want to go with him?"

Fuyu, who never spoke to anyone but Tsunami and me, looked between Suigetsu and I confusedly.

"He doesn't say much does he?"

I ignored Kakashi's observation and messed up Fuyu's hair. "Come on, he'll give you a piggy back ride. We'll run really, really fast."

Fuyu smiled, I took that as a yes.

"Alright Suigetsu," I stood up and Suigetsu walked over to me. "Be careful, okay?"

"What, do you think I'll throw him off a cliff?" He laughed…once again, not amusing. "Your so dull Senpai, lighten up."

"Okay," said Kakashi, "let's go."

Suigetsu put Fuyu on his back and we sprinted at full speed down the road. At this pace it would only take maybe eight more minutes til we were in Konoha. When we arrived, Kakashi went right past the guards at the gate. They glanced at him but didn't move. Apparently Kakashi has quite a bit of authority here.

We continued right along to a tall, circular building.

"We need to notify the hokage, she shouldn't have a problem with this."

We walked down a long hall and until we reached the only door with light gleaming from underneath of it. Kakashi entered without hesitation.

A woman, maybe in her thirties looked up from a long scroll she had been writing on. A bottle of sake and a small cup sat to her left.

"Kakashi, what brings you here? And I'd appreciate it if you would knock."

"Well, my lady, I knew you would be up this late…"

"I get my best work done at night, yes"

"…and I needed to see you urgently."

While the woman, the hokage, pondered his words for a moment as she rolled up the scroll, I surveyed the room. It was cluttered, scrolls and chests and all other sorts of things were piled everywhere. In a corner, a young woman slept in a chair, a small pig at her feet.

"Okay then Kakashi, what is it you needed…and who are your interesting guests?"

I looked back at the hokage and found her staring straight at me. Her light brown eyes showed mass intelligence, betraying her to be most likely past her thirties.

"This is Momochi Zabuza and this is Hozuki Suigetsu….oh, and that is Momochi Fuyu, Zabuza's son."

"Hmm, I didn't even see the little one." I looked over, Fuyu was still awake but his eyes were only barely open and his head leaned against the back of Suigetsu's. "Shizune!" The young woman in the corner sat up quickly.

"Yes my lady," she looked at up surprised as she stood. She frightened the pig that squealed and ran under the hokage's desk.

"Take young…Fuyu, there and let him sleep in your room for a little bit. And bring three more sake glasses."

"Yes ma'am." Shizune, a petite, pretty brunette, walked over and relieved Suigetsu of my son. Fuyu sleepily accepted the young woman and followed her into another room, rubbing his eyes the whole way.

"Only two glasses Tsunade," Kakshi said as he pulled up a chair, "I don't think this one's old enough."

"Hey, you don't know how old I am!"

"He's sixteen," I said looking over at Suigetsu. I was sure I was correct. He was only six when I was twenty; surprisingly I remembered that.

"Okay then, only two glasses Shizune."

"Yes ma'am," Shizune brought out two more chairs and left to get the glasses.

Suigetsu and I pulled the chairs up next to Kakashi and sat down. When Shizune came back and three glasses where filled, Kakashi spoke.

"We have located Uchiha Sasuke." Tsunade's glass stopped partway to her lips as Kakashi spoke. She continued after a moment. "I have a plan."

"Do go on."

"Sasuke is hell-bent on killing his brother."

"Itachi…the child who murdered his clan."

"The same. I have concluded that that would be no real problem since he would be facing the death sentence anyways."

"I see."

"So, Suigetsu wants Zabuza to join Sasuke and him on this little mission to kill Itachi. I think we should have Zabuza go along and keep an eye on Sasuke. After Itachi is killed, Sasuke's location will be reported to us and he shall be returned to Konoha."

Tsunade pondered this for a moment. "Momochi Zabuza wasn't it?" I nodded. "Huh, I thought I heard of your reported death." She looked over at Kakashi, probably knowing exactly what had happened. "Alright, go through with this plan. Momochi."

"Yes."

"Make regular reports. I am guessing that this mission will take you too far away to be able to report by radio. We will have to resort to person-to-person meetings as often as possible."

"Um, my lady…"

"Yes Shizune?"

"What about Naruto and Sakura? They will be wanting to know any news on the tracking of their comrad."

"Hmm…we can trust Sakura but I'm not…"

"I'll tell them." Everyone looked at Kakashi. "I will inform Naruto and Sakura of all the information I deem they need to know. I will emphasize that they cannot interfere, or the plan will be ruined. They should be no problem."

"I see." Tsunade nodded and stood up. "Well I suppose you all should get going, this plan calls for immediate action. However, in order to go on such a mission, we will need Zabuza and Suigetsu's information filed. Usually this sort of thing is left up to ANBU Black Ops, it would not be too unusual for you two to be filtered in to ANBU. Kakashi, take them down to ANBU headquarters and get him registered in with them. Then file their mission as top secret, an order from the Hokage."

"Yes ma'am."

Kakashi lead us down to the lower section of the same building, which is where the ANBU headquarters resides. Once again, Kakashi was treated with total obedience. The man, the captain, took down basic information, including the fat that I used to be the captain of Kiri's ANBU Black Ops and that Suigetsu is filed as "missing" in Kiri, something I didn't even know, took photographs and filed our folders into a secured cabinent.

"Okay, you will be squad 14, seeing as you have a lot of background in ANBU this will be no new information, Zabuza, but I still need to inform him. We function in two man cells, reports back are required and no information is ever to be told to anyone but me and others operating within the same mission. You cannot even tell fellow ANBU members."

"Okay." Suigetsu was unusually quiet, and painfully still. I wondered what was bothering him, I would ask but that would risk him thinking I actually cared. I was never fond of him, and now I didn't even know if he wasn't just playing with us. Perhaps all of this was part of some plan. I know Orochimaru had some bad blood with the Leaf, and it was possible that both boys were still acting under his command. The idea made me nervous, especially because Fuyu will now be here.

"Okay, you are dismissed."

We left through a different door, one that, after a flight of stairs, led to the street. Kakashi walked with us to the edge of the village, light was filtering in through the trees and the sky directly above us was a regal shade of purple.

"Zabuza, you are to check back regularly. Suigetsu will have to hold his position, as to not raise suspition."

"That makes sense. Kakashi, where is Fuyu going to stay?"

"Hmm…I think I know someone. He teaches at the ninja academy, so he's familiar with kids. He's a really good guy, you don't have to worry."

It still made me uncomfortable, but I nodded before turning to leave. Suigetsu and I sprinted off at full speed. Reaching the road where I first encountered Suigetsu would take about an hour and a half. I was not excited about this, to me it is just another job. Meet with this guy, kill his brother then return to Konoha, the routine is familiar, it is the same for every mission.

As we ran, I kept thinking about how Suigetsu was a missing ninja, and not a rogue. Wouldn't they have known by now that he was with Orochimaru?

"Suigetsu."

"Yea."

"I didn't know you were a missing ninja."

"Oh…" He was silent for a moment. "Well, after Mangetsu died-"

"Mangetsu's dead?" Once again I hadn't known this, Mangetsu was Suigetsu 's older brother. Pity he was dead, out of the two he was much more talented. Suigetsu had more spirit for the fight, but Mangetsu had the skill and the logic to win every time. "How did he die?"

"Uh, well it was on a mission." That was understandable, the children being trained for the Seven were put through difficult and often cruel missions. Not many made it to become chuunin. "I rushed in and got more than I could handle. He jumped in to protect me and was killed." I nodded, that sounded like the exact scenario I would have pictured. Mangetsu's only flaw was his love for his impulsive brother. "Anyways, after he was killed, I gave up on the whole Seven Swordsman thing. I left the village and was soon after captured by Orochimaru. I was held captive until Sasuke released me only two days ago."

I nodded, so there had been no trace of him for years now. I had known his father, Hozuki Gengetsu, and had met his mother a few times. They struck me as the type of people who would fret forever about their missing son, especially if not long before, their only other child was killed. It made me wonder why he hadn't returned after being set free.

We continued in silence, when we reached the road, Suigetsu turned to the trees. I followed. We found Sasuke without problem.

"Sorry it took so long, he isn't so easy to convince."

"Yea, well let's go. This took a whole lot longer than necessary, and I no longer want to even take the time to get Juugo. Let's just start tracking."

….

Ommigod, this is a long one, sorry

And very boring. It is totally my least favourite chapter

Although I did enjoy goin into Suigetsu's past a little bit.

Well, give me pretty reviews, and detail ideas

=]

laura


	7. The New Squad

Okay...I kno I prolly exhausted all of u with the last chapter

It was long; it was boring, the writing sucked…

But I promise this one will start to get better…ish

Please just bear with me

Well, I am bringing in some different characters

That should be worth it, right?

…

…

…

"Senpai, what is our next mission! I cant wait, doing missions with you is so much fun!"

I would never dignify that with an answer. Ever since Sasori was killed I have been stuck with this idiot. Tobi. Even his name is annoying! I just kept walking, I know you need a certain amount of teamwork in squads, but it was hard for me to get along with Sasori even, and he was a fellow artist. Getting on with Tobi was purely out of the question. I used him in fights to get myself as far away from the opponent as possible, seeing as my specialty is long-range attacks, but that was the extent of our relationship.

"Shut up and don't sound like such an idiot, Tobi, un. We are reporting to the Leader, I don't need my own status jeopardized by your foolishness."

"Aww…okay senpai, Tobi will be good."

I rolled my eyes and continued. As I reached the door to meet the leader, two fellow Akatsuki exited. Hoshigaki Kisame and Uchiha Itachi. I stopped and glared straight at Itachi, who pretended not to see me. Like I had just become another part of the scenery to him.

"Hi Itachi-senpai, Kisame-senpai! Did you just get back from your mission too?"

"SHUT UP TOBI!"

I heard Kisame laugh as they passed, Itachi acknowledged neither of us. That was so annoying, what was more annoying is that I cared more for the situation. I cared enough to hate Itachi, and yet respect him for his talents, while he has not spoken to me since he succeeded in recruiting me into the Akatsuki.

"Tobi's sorry Deidara-senpai…"

"Whatever, let's go." We walked through the door to report our mission; my ears still hot from the encounter.

…

Sasuke was quiet, quiet and analytical. I felt like every minute I was with him he was calculating my every move, and I was nearly certain that he was aware of my motives. He was dedicated to his own motives, as bizarre as they seemed to me.

Suigetsu was his opposite. He was loud, disorderly and non-perceptive, and to top it all off he really didn't have a good excuse for following Sasuke around. He could probably leave and not even ANBU would care. Then again were would he go? He was not, as far as I know, a registered rogue ninja or a criminal yet, he could probably return to Kiri without problem. In fact, I don't get why he doesn't. I always had the impression that he got on quite well with his family and they had great pride and love for him and his brother. Then again perhaps Mangetsu's death put strain on their relations.

I am honestly quite blind in the situation. All I know is that we are to assist Sasuke in killing his older brother, a member of the Akatsuki, and immediately after-words, return him to Konoha.

We had been walking for some time now, allowing my thoughts to wander. I looked to my left at Sasuke, who was staring blankly ahead of him. Suigetsu was on his left yawning and shuffling along lazily.

"So where are we going to find your brother anyways?"

Sasuke glanced at me and was silent for a moment. "I think joining the Akatsuki would be essential to knowing where he is at all times. From there we can find and then kill him."

"Okay, and what if they do not accept us?"

Sasuke didn't even acknowledge the fact I had spoken.

"Ah, brilliant plan Sasuke! Then maybe I could catch up with Kisame-senpai!"

"Kisame? Whatever do you want with that heathen?" Kisame had been a member of the Seven Swordsman of Kiri. He was by far the most coldblooded and resilient out of the seven, he had the most charka and the most powerful array of jutsu, and his family, the Hoshigake clan, had been in the Seven the longest, since its founding as a matter of fact.

" I want to kill him and take the Samehada."

I laughed, it was a resonant and unpitying laugh. It was ridiculous! " You have to be joking! I took you down without any difficulty and I know _I_ could never stand a chance against Kisame!"

"Hey! I can get stronger! And you caught me off guard, it was totally a bogus win! I mean, you got me from behind!"

I shook my head, not even vocally dignifying the fact that I had given him a clear "hey, I'm here!"

"Take it easy Suigetsu, I don't have any intention of following around random Akatsuki members. You claimed you would remain with me until you obtain the Executioner, which you lost. So now if you find this Kisame guy then just leave and fight him yourself, I really don't have much use for you. It is true I favor you special abilities, but you are still entirely disposable."

Suigetsu stared straight at Sasuke in disclosure, Sasuke had his eyes closed as he walked and he faced neither of us. I looked away from the two of them. Sasuke's words had reminded me of myself. It had reminded me of words I had spoken to Haku. I made sure he knew I did not need care or encouragement. Friendship and love were not a part of our agreement, he was not to expect any empathy from me and I did not need it from him.

The three of us were silent, once again letting my thoughts wander. I tried not to think of Haku, thinking of him only brought regret, an emotion I was still not comfortable with nor did I allow myself to completely concede it. I instead thought of Kisame, I recalled the last time I saw him in Kiri.

"_Zabuza-kun, you are still very young, huh?" Kisame had asked me to meet him here. A steep cliff perfectly overlooked Kiri, it was massive and dark, nearly lost in the mist._

"_I suppose," seventeen was still considered young after all._

"_Yes, very young. I wasn't even in the Seven at your age. Nor was I ever in ANBU, let alone the head captain._

_I nodded, my arms were crossed and I stared down at the Bloody Mist Village, which was my responsibility to protect with all my reason._

"_This is why I thought you would understand more than anyone." I looked at him, Kisame-senpai was staring down into the village. "Yoru was an imposing shinobi, his skill was enough to challenge me even."_

_I turned away, "So you came here to talk about my father?"_

"_No, I was just getting to the point."_

"_Well get there faster senpai, I need to finish the paperwork for a new mission."_

"_Fine then," I didn't like how he was speaking. It was calm and unobtrusive, quite unlike Kisame. "I am leaving the village. There is an organization, it was formed during the great war, and I think joining would be first-class ninja operations. Possibly greater than ANBU missions or anything the Seven do."_

_I was silent. I had heard of such organizations, they were home to s-rank criminals and were usually short-lived. Yet in ANBU, we learned of one of the only of these organizations that has proved entirely evasive and effective. The Akatsuki. All we knew was that is was formed sometime during the third great war and during this war, had sold their skills to whichever side payed them sufficiently. They hadn't had much attention since the end of the war, but we were still aware of their exsistance._

"_Well, that was all really. If you have any say in the matter, see to that one of those cute Hozuki boys replaces me. They would be a great addition."_

"_I see…well, I am leaving."_

"_Fine…I hope we meet again."_

And I did meet him again, mere months before the bridge job.

"_Well, long time no see, Zabuza-kun."_

"_The same, Kisame-senpai."_

"_I am not so sure if I am disappointed or proud that ANBU fell through the cracks for you. Either way, I have a proposition." _

_I nodded, Haku stood behind me, ready for anything. Kisame wore the well-known robes of an Akatsuk, black emblazoned with red and white clouds, as did his partner. His partner was probably not much older than Haku, he had long, dark hair and very unusual eyes. It took me a while to register that that was the first time I had seen the sharingan. The boy struck me as cold, vigilant, and unsettlingly tranquil._

"_We are in-route to conscript a new member to replace one we recently lost. But I think if we bring you back instead, leader-sama will not mind. Infact, I think he would like your talents."  
"Kisame, I am not like you. I am in this for my own measures, the fewer ties I have to people or groups the better."_

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Yes."_

"Alright then, take care Zabuza-kun." He nodded at Haku, then looked back to me. "Cute kid," he said before he and his partner took leave.

It suddenly occurred to me that the sharingan is a kekkei genkai that transpires only in the Uchiha clan. Kakashi was a fluke, he had only one sharingan eye which I presumed came by him artificially. Perhaps the boy I had ran into nearly five years ago was, in fact, Sasuke Uchiha's brother. All I know is that his brother's name is Itachi and he joined the Akatsuki after destroying the Uchiha clan excluding himself and his younger brother. By all probability, Uchiha Itachi and Kisame's partner are a person in the same. I didn't bring this up, but Suigetsu may get his ill-fated chance at Kisame-senpai after all!

…

…

…

well, that took a whole lot longer than I wanted

AP testing got in the way these past two weeks

Sorry all…..well, plz review

laura


	8. All In Its Own Place

Okay…I plan on getting the next few chapters out uber

Fast…before school ends, cuz I kno I wont do

Shit over summer…lmao

Here we go!

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….

…

My day off. I lay in bed, two hours after I usually get up. Sun filtered through the wooden blinds over the window above my headboard, casting shadows on the closed door of my closet. I could hear my neighbors busy in their apartments, starting their day. I got up slowly, and right on queue, there was a knock at my door.

"Ugh…coming, I'm coming!" I opened the door and was surprised to find the person who was on the other side. "Kakashi?"

"Hey, I have a pretty big favour to ask you, Iruka."

"Okay, what is it and I'll see what I can do."

"Well, you should come with me…it's complicated."

"Oh…okay. Just let me get dressed real quick."

"Yea, I'll wait out here."

"Okay," I closed the door. What could he want? After I got dressed I joined Kakashi and we walked briskly down the street. It only took a moment for me to realize that we were heading towards the Hokage's edifice.

We entered and headed immediately to Lady Tsunade's office. When we entered, the Hokage wasn't present but Shizune was organizing some papers at her desk.

"Oh good, you're back! Tsunade just left to get the ANBU head and should be back soon!"

"Right, where is Fuyu?"

"He's sitting on the balcony…I gave him some paper and a pen to draw but he hasn't touched it. You should have seen the fit he threw when he woke up and couldn't find his father!"

Kakashi nodded and waved me over to the balcony with him. The Hokage's balcony overlooked the central square that branched to all the main routes through Konohagakure. When we stepped out onto the balcony, I immediately saw whom Shizune was talking about. Sitting with his knees tucked to his chest was a young boy, maybe four years old, moping just out of the morning sunlight. He was pale with black hair and large, dark eyes, his hair was just long enough to be messy and his knees were skinned and dirty.

"Fuyu, this is Iruka," Fuyu looked up at me but looked away again in disinterest. "Iruka, why don't you talk to him for a bit until Tsunade gets back."

"Um, okay," I doubted that Kakashi asked me here just to talk to a troubled little boy. I knelt down and tried to make eye contact again. "Hi, so why are you out here all by yourself?"

Nothing.

"Are you sad?"

Nothing.

I sat down and crossed my legs. This was awkward…what was I doing here?

"Iruka-kun," I stood up at the sound of Tsunade's voice. "I need to request a favour of you."

"Anything, ma'am."

"Come in here," Tsunade sat down, putting down a packet of papers on her desk.

I sat down in front of the desk, I hadn't noticed but three chairs were placed there whereas there was usually one. Had there been people here before me?

"What is it you want, my lady?"

"I see you met Fuyu," she spoke with out looking up from the papers. "Well, according to norms, a child in his situation would be filtered into the Foundation, but Kakashi requested that that doesn't happen to him."

"What is his situation?"

"Well, as far as we know his mother is dead, she isn't a Konoha native and we do not know her identity. His father has just been sent on an emergency ANBU mission. It is an extensive mission that could take up to a year to complete and there is a high chance he will not return. So by technical definitions in Konoha, he is either an orphan or an abandonee. Either way, with his father's precarious position in ANBU, he would be sent to the Foundation."

"I see," I never agreed with the Foundation. Training war orphans and children tied to some of Konoha's most guarded incidents to become assassins in ANBU seems very atrocious to me. It was only by a request very much like this that I did not get filtered into the Foundation myself.

"Iruka, I was hoping you would look after Fuyu, this way he will be able to return to his father after the mission. If he is sent to the Foundation, he will not be allowed to leave."

Every quantity of my heart screamed for me to say yes, but my mind was racing. Could I actually take care of a kid? He was probably old enough to go to the pre-school classes while I taught at the Academy, but I didn't have any parenting skills. Apart from being too young to have had children of my own, my own parents were killed when I was pretty young, too young to have learned much from them. Yet Saying no would go against what I believed in, which was more important. Anyways, isn't never trying the true definition of failing?

"I'll do it," Kakashi looked relieved and Tsunade nodded in agreement.

"Thank you, Iruka-san, I truly appreciate it. I would have seen to him myself but this mission directly affects my squad and I. I need to be able to leave on a very short notice."

"I understand." '_Directly_?' I knew this could only mean one thing; this mission had something to do with Uchiha Sasuke. I wonder how Naruto would be taking this, is he tied into the mission as well? Or, knowing Kakashi, does he even know about it?

"Well, then, I suppose we should round up Fuyu and get him acquainted with his new location as soon as possible."

"Definitely," I looked over and saw Fuyu was looking into the room. Surely he had been listening and probably heard the agreement. I stood up and walked over to him, as soon as I did so he quickly turned away and returned to his former pose. I once again knelt down and tried to look him in the eye, but he bluntly ignored me. "Fuyu?"

"I don't wanna go with you."

Well that was fast, already on the wrong foot and I hadn't even started! "No one says you have to do anything."

"They want you to replace my dad," Fuyu pulled his knees closer as big tears rolled down his cheeks.

"No, we just want you to have a good place to stay while we wait for your dad to come back."

"Why did he leave?"

"Uh…well…he is old friends with Kakashi and one of Kakashi's students needs some help…"

"Why?"

"Um, well he's lost and needs help finding his way back home."

Fuyu was silent. I had tried describing the situation as best I could in terms a young child would understand.

"Hey, it's almost nine o'clock, what do you say we go get some breakfast?"

Finally he looked at me.

"You are hungry aren't you?"

Fuyu nodded.

"What's your favourite food?"

"Pudding."

I tried not to laugh, kids always know how to cheer themselves up best. "Okay, normally I would say pudding isn't a good breakfast food, but I haven't had any in a long time. And I know a place that serves it really good!"

"So can we get pudding?"

"Yea, we can if you promise me you will come stay with me so I have an excuse to eat pudding too."

Fuyu laughed, I was relieved.

"I'll take that as a yes." I stood up, as did he, Kakashi stood in the doorway. Even though he wore a mask over half of his face, I could tell that he was smiling. I could always tell.

"Well done. I'll come by sometime tonight to discuss some details with you."

"Okay," I walked past Kakashi. Fuyu grabbed my hand, it surprised me at first but I was glad he bonded so quickly.

…

We had no idea where the Akatsuki were, and I was already getting agitated. No one had any clue as to how we would track the Akatsuki and it didn't appear that anyone was very concerned. All Sasuke had really mentioned was being able to kill his brother, and he was annoyed that Suigetsu apparently didn't care about training since he had lost my sword.

"Zabuza, I want to ask you something."

"What is it?" I never liked talking to Sasuke, and when he addressed me I liked it even less.

"I want you to train Suigetsu. We all need to prove we can handle missions if we join the Akatsuki. I am positive you will have no problem, but Suigetsu's lack of skill due to his confinement for so long might be a problem. I am aware that you knew him during his only years of training, so you will be the most familiar with his capability for certain jutsu and skills."

I nodded. It wasn't hard to tell that Suigetsu and I would have nearly the same fighting style, seeing as we both were trained for the Seven and both had water-type chakra. But I already knew that Suigetsu was a less than capable student for me. Unless by some miracle he could control his attitude or mature pretty damn quickly, he would be just as difficult as before. Then again, I needed to appease Sasuke so he would not grow suspicious of me, or, if he already suspected me as I thought, he would continue allowing me to remain with him.

"Fine."

"Good, we can stay here while you train him. There's a small lake that we passed about twenty yards back."

"I know, that should be adequate. Where is Suigetsu?"

"He said he was tired and wanted to swim."

"All right then," I turned and walked towards where we had passed the lake. This would prove to be interesting, and probably in the most dysfunctional way possible.

…..

….

…

….

Wow, sorry for how long and boring this chapter was

But it was a neccissary evil for building the plot….

Next chapter will be MUCH better

I promise!

-laura


	9. untitled

Suigetsu wasn't in sight. I walked to the shore of the lake and looked across the mirror-like surface. I stepped on the surface of the water; the flow of chakra going to me feet to keep me from going in was a second nature now. I walked to the center and stared straight down to the bottom.

"Hozuki, come here." It was a few moments, but then Suigetsu poked his head out.

"What is it, senpai? Do you want to join me?" He sounded hopeful and gave me a toothy smile.

"Get up here, and for your sake you better have your clothes."

"Ha-ha, you know me far better than Sasuke! Silly just assumes I would put my clothes on whenever most people would."

"Just shut up and come up here."

Suigetsu sighed and came up. I sized him up, since first seeing him I hadn't really assessed what his physical capabilities could be, I just assumed that I could beat him. Yet then again, underestimating him would be a mistake because of his kekkei genkai.

"Sasuke wants me to train you, so you will be ready for the Akatsuki."

"And eventually helping him kill his brother."

"Most likely." I uncrossed my arms and put myself in a more vigilant stance. "Well, I know it would be rather hopeless to teach you taijutsu, so I will focus on ninjutsu. Do you know any jutsu already?"

"Um…not really."

I sighed; this was going to be a long day. "Well, Sasuke strikes me as the impatient type who expects a lot from the two of us. So I'm going to take the liberty of skipping over rudimentary jutsu and going straight for more advance water-type attacks."

Suigetsu nodded, I frowned at his lax posture and bored expression. "First is hand signs, I am going to teach you Water Dragon Jutsu. It is rather advanced and will take quite a bit of charka. However, I am quite familiar with your abilities and I think this should be a lot easier for you than it was for me the first time."  
"Okay," Suigetsu straightened up and watched me carefully.

"Alright then, watch these hand signs and try to copy them. I will go slow, but you will have to learn to do them quickly in battle."

"Of course."

"Let's begin."  
…

Sasuke sat with his back against a tree, he was sleeping but I still had to remain as quiet as possible. I spent many days doing this, waiting for my brother to loosen his attentiveness so I could get close enough to watch him. I would merely sit back and watch, I didn't dare approach him, not yet at least. The time wasn't right for him to face me that last time, although my deadline for our final confrontation was getting awfully close. Ever day I could feel the odd, incurable illness in my body. And along with the mangekyo sharingan, I was staring death in the face. An odd expression to use since I could hardly see, the sharingan has nearly wasted all of my vision as well as my health.

I didn't want this future for Sasuke, yet he needed to get powerful enough to fend for himself. And even then, I hope Nagato-sama's plan works so there will be no war in the land. A miracle, but I believe he could do it if anyone could.

From the tree I was sitting in, I could here Sasuke's comrades training. I had been listening in, and was quite troubled to hear that they planned to join the Akatsuki. If Sasuke joined, I would either have to leave, or face him sooner than I intend to. I gather that I have four or five months left if I'm lucky; Kakuzu says I should have at least a year, but I can feel myself getting weaker every day. Since last spring I have lost fourteen pounds as it is. It doesn't seem like much to the average man, but when I haven't done anything to prompt the weight loss and with missions getting more frequent, it is really a big problem. Plus I have become slower, more often than I would like, Kisame has had to cover for me. I can usually get an opponent trapped in a genjutsu, but I have become less able to hold them there. My eyesight has been failing since I was fourteen, but it has gotten so much worse just within the last year or so. Yet it is not really a problem, just a minor inconvenience and yet another scale of how close I am to death.

Sasuke stirred, opened his eyes, rubbed his nose then closed his eyes once again. I still couldn't believe how far he has come. He's sixteen now, and it amazes me. My baby brother is growing up. It also makes me sad. Despite my efforts he has still had a life very close to my own, even if it wasn't brought upon him quite as early. At the age of twenty, I already know my future. Without a cure for this affliction, I will fight Sasuke for one last time. I want to give him one last assessment before I go. In the end, I will let him take my life, something he has strived to do since the day I killed our parents, and all of the Uchiha clan. And Sasuke, his future is not certain, but I know it won't be an easy one.

I waited a few minutes til he was once again asleep, and then I left. Kisame was waiting for me just off the main road.

"Well, anything new Itachi?"

"Hmm, yes. Sassuke and his companions plan on joining the Akatsuki."

"Really? That should be interesting. I took the freedom to look see who your brother's accompanying persons were, and I was quite surprised."

I nodded, I didn't know them exactly, but I had guessed that they were from Kiri, same is Kisame.

"To imagine, I offered Zabuza Deidara-kun's spot just a few years ago and he turned me down! And Suigetsu, I thought for sure he was in the Seven by now, I heard his brother was killed and the spot was open."

I suddenly remembered the older man traveling with my brother. I had met him, just briefly and no words were exchanged between us, about five years ago. He was an old acquaintance of Kisame's, he even referred to my partner as 'senpai'.

"Hmm…who was the other one again?"

"Hozuki Suigetsu, he and his brother were to try for my spot in the Seven. Seeing that his brother was older and more talented, I assumed he would get the position. But Suigetsu, cute kid, came out on top after all! Though it appears he no longer affiliates with the Seven. Or with Kiri for that matter."

"Hmm…" this troubled me, it shouldn't have, but it did. I heard of possible new ties with Konoha out of Kiri, and the thought that this kid might be working on the side of the Hokage bothered me. I was full aware by now that Sasuke was a wanted shinobi in Konoha, and his capture was a top priority. Not only did he assort himself wit Orochimaru, but he was also an Uchiha. The Uchiha were ordered to be assassinated by the Konoha government several years ago. Only Sauke, Madara, and I remained. But Madara was in hiding and not even Konoha knows of his existence.

We walked for some time, in the direction of the Akatsuki hideout. Kisame didn't bother bringing anything up from earlier. He could always tell when I wanted some time to think on my own. He was a good comrade, the best I could ever ask for.

…

My arms are so tired! Stumbling through the street on my way home with a kid in one arm and an assortment of purchases in the other was a bit much for me, as silly as that would seem. I climbed the stairs to my apartment and frowned at the task of digging out my key without dropping anything. I nearly had it when Fuyu stirred and knocked the key out of my hand. Kakashi, who had been just out of sight, caught it in mid-air.

"Need a hand?"

"Huh, where were you earlier, I could have used a second person!"

"Sorry, I had some things to take care of."

"Of course, well can you open the door?"

"My pleasure!" Kakashi unlocked and opened the front door. I stepped inside and slipped off my shoes, one thing I can do without my hands. "Let me grab those," Kakashi relieved me of the parcels.

"Thank you, I'll be right back, I'm going to put Fuyu in my bed for tonight. I'm picking one of his own up tomorrow."

"Well done."

I walked back to my room, kicking some clothes into a corner as I went. Never on my life would I imagine I would be bringing home a child this afternoon! I, as carefully as I could, laid Fuyu down on my bed, landing his head on the pillow. He stirred and opened his eyes.

"Hey sleepy, I'm gonna let you sleep here tonight, tomorrow we can go get your bed with some help from a couple of my friends."

He blinked sleepily, "I'll be all by myself?"

"No, I'll be in the next room on the couch if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay," I took off his shoes, pulled the blanket over him and stood up. I opened my closet and took out a spare blanket for myself. I closed the door and returned to Kakashi, tossing my blanket on a chair as I went.

"Well, I suppose I should get on with things so you can get some rest, it appears that you have been busy all day."

"You could say that again." I sat on the couch and Kakashi sat next to me. "So, what do I need to know?"

"You are familiar with the assassin Momochi Zabuza?"

"More or less. I heard you killed him in the land of waves."

"More or less."

I frowned, I hate that about Kakashi. He could use anything you say to try and pique his interest and turn it one you tenfold. "So, what's the more and the less of the story?"

"Well, for starters, he isn't dead."

Saw that coming.

"And he is currently in alliance with the Konoha ANBU Black Ops."

Did NOT see that coming!

"He and another person from Kiri have teamed up with Sasuke to help him track down and kill his brother. But, Zabuza owes me a debt, and yes this debt is concerning the fact that he is still alive, so when I caught wind of this, I demanded their collaboration with Konoha."

"So…you are using an assassin and some random rogue ninja, both from the Bloody Mish Village, to help get Sasuke back?"

"More or less." Kakashi smiled.

"Okay, I am going to leave aside all comments on this bizarre design and ask: what does this have to do with me?"

"Well, do to certain proceedings, Momochi Zabuza…"

"The assassin."

"Yes, the same. Came by having a son whose mother he does not know the location or identity of."

"…Fuyu?"

"Yes."

"So," I said after processing this information, "that is why he would be sent into the Foundation? How ever did you talk Tsunade into getting him out of that?"

"Well, I convinced her that Zabuza would not take to kindly to not getting his son back. Despite being the most infamous assassin from the Bloody Mist Village, he's turned out to have a good heart for when it matters most."

"Well that is good." I sat back, letting nothing bear too much weight on my already exhausted mind. "So, not that I am saying he should be in the Foundation instead of here…"

"You despise the Foundation."

"Yes, but my point is, how certain are you that this Zabuza will return?"

"Like I said, he has a good heart."

"No, I mean, what if he is killed? Sasuke might be young, but he is no run-of-the-mill shinobi. If he found out about these two, which is just a matter of time, I am sure, will he be able to escape?"

"You credit Sasuke's abilities, but do not underestimate Zabuza. It is apparent you are unfamiliar with his past, but being in ANBU gave me such information back when he first attempted a coup d'état. His information was given to every village after that. I believe he is more than capable of handling this situation."

"Okay," Iwasn't exactly convinced. I didn't mind taking care of a kid for a while, but if his father never returned I didn't exactly want to adopt him. I wasn't much younger than Fuyu's actual father, but there was no way I am ready to replace him.

"Well, I just wanted to alert you of the situation. Also, make sure nothing gets out about his father, try to make sure the kid doesn't tell anyone. The fact that we have a wanted man who has been previously announced dead working for ANBU should not get around. And the fact that he is from Kirigakure would make it worse. If anyone asks, just tell them that his mother died and his father has been called out on a Black Ops mission and you are watching him until further notice. Okay?"

"I understand."

"Okay, well, I am going to let you get some rest, I'll come by with Tenzou in the morning and we will sort out this whole bed thing."

"Um, okay." Kakashi left and I remained where I was. I sat there for most of the night, just thinking. When I finally fell asleep it was nearly four in the morning. Tomorrow was going to be another very long day!

…

I just stared at it. The water always made me feel better. Whenever I was down about something, I culd rely on a good swim to cheer me up. Tonight it was my brother. Assisting Sasuke kill his own brother brought back some long repressed memories. It was still beyond me how he could ever wat to kill his brother. From what I have come to understand, Itachi killed their entire family except for Sasuke. Didn't that mean he loved him? That he didn't want to hurt him? Or was I just tying everything back to my own life too much, is every sibling not like this? Sasuke treats what his brother did, or didn't do, as a challenge. He claimes that he has to kill him, and restore his clan. It all seems too ridiculous to me. Why not just accept the fact that your brother could kill every single person in your clan but couldn't harm his little brother? I know that is how I would see it if Mangetsu had ever done something like that.

"Suigetsu," my thoughts were interrupted.

I turned, " What is it Zabuza-senpai?"

"Well," he walked over and stood directly above me. "was lying there awake when you left. I thought about following but decided not to. Then I began to think, and I do believe I have come up with something that would impress even Sasuke."

"Really?" I had enjoyed our training earlier, although it had left me exhausted. I had always admired Zabuza, I wanted to join the Seven practically because of him. He was probably the closest this I had to a hero back then.

"Yes, It would probably be quite difficult at first, but I am sure we can pull it off!"

"Okay, well what is it?"

Zabuza smiled. "How would you like to be able top kill an opponent without them ever seeing you, in any circumstance?"

…

…

…

…

…

…

well, this was a very long chapter!

I just couldn't wait to bring in Itachi, he would have

Come in a bit later, but I was impatient!

Lol

Well, plz review!

Nana/Laura-chan


	10. Limit

My chakra was on wearing thin, yet I could tell I was so close. It was torturesome how I could just barely not get this just right. Zabuza-senpai's plan was flawless, if only I could hold up my end. The jutsu combo was meant for assassinations. It combined he hidden mist jutsu and the special abilities provided by my kekkei genkai. If I could just liquidify and then split those parts into small enough portions to were they could fuse with the water in the mist. Therefore I would be not only invisible and undetectable, but I could literally attack my opponent from any angle imaginable. It was perfect, but I couldn't get the divisions of my liquid state to break up into small enough portions to accomplish this.

"Suigetsu-kun, we can stop for now. I am sure Sasuke will be satisfied enough to go on…"

"No! Believe me, I can do this! Let's just go one more time."

"Hmn…" Zabuza stood on the water staring straight into my eyes. I returned the stare, daring him to force me to back down. After a moment, he shrugged and returned to his former stance, eyes shut and his hands placed to summon the chakra that would form the hidden mist jutsu.

I took a breath…I could do this! It shouldn't be hard; something like this should really come second nature to me. Then again, being locked up in Orochimaru's holds was not exactly advantageous.

I had to concentrate. I focused all of my chakra to my fingertips on my left hand. Turning my physical body to water I then split this into smaller and smaller pieces, as I did so I could feel my chakra ebbing away. Not very quickly but with as much strain as I had put on myself already, it was a very perceptible effect.

Then I felt it. It was an airy, weightless feeling. Like if my fingers had fallen asleep yet I continued to use them. This change told me it was working. And sure enough, when I looked down at my hand, my fingers looked as if they were slowly dissolving. Finally, I had gotten it!

"Senpai, I got it. I'm too exhausted to hold it, but I have done it." He nodded, was he proud? Or maybe disappointed that I hadn't been able to do it before my chakra was diminished.

"Let's go now, I want to find this blasted Akatsuki and get our mission over with."

"I wasn't so sure he should say that aloud but I nodded anyways. If I hadn't been exhausted, I would have given him a piece of my mind!

…

"Sasuke, I need to leave."

I looked out of the corner of my eye at Zabuza. What was he saying?

"I don't think I can allow that."

"I'll come back. I just need to check on my son, I don't exactly trust the people I left him with."

Part of what he said was a lie, I could see that. But which part? What did it matter, if he tried to betray me, I would kill him. I needed a good challenge and I was curious how I would fare against the man who could so easily strike me down a few years earlier. "Fine, but if you are not loyal, don't come back…you'd regret it."

A line appeared on his brow, I couldn't decide if he was angry at my presumptuous statement or worried for himself or his kid. "I understand."

"Good," I stood up; I had been sitting against a tree. Suigetsu was still at the lake. "There is a small village just north of the lake, on the river. There is an inn there, I am sure. Suigetsu-kun and I will stay there three days, if you are not back by then you can catch up eventually."

He nodded, remained for a moment longer, then left swiftly though the trees, disappearing in a second. I remained there, thinking. I wasn't sure I trusted Zabuza; in fact I was still in shock that he was here.

I walked through the woods, towards the lake. I was tired but careful not to let it show. Truth was sleep didn't come easy, especially after killing Orochimaru. I was full aware of the part of him inside of me, and I was careful not to call on it for power. I knew that it could take me over, but I could also use it for the power I needed to kill Itachi.

I reached the edge of the lake, it was so still, it mirrored the sky, trees, and myself perfectly.

"Suigetsu, come here we need to go."

"Well," his head poked out of the water, right where the reflection of my own had been. I watched my reflection shatter and melt into Suigetsu's as he stepped out of the water. "Where is Zabuza-senpai?"

"He left to check on his son."

Suigetsu's eyes flickered, he knew something.

"Come on," I started walking along the shore. I had spotted the town when we entered the area, I had considered stopping but only decided on it after Zabuza told me he needed to leave.

"So where are we going, Sasuke-_chan_?"

I scowled back at Suigetsu, he smiled and caught up to me in a few big steps. He was so cocky. "We are just gonna stay in town for a few days."

"Oh…okay." He continued to smile as we walked.

We reached the village in a short enough amount of time, though the sun made it rather unpleasant. The inn wasn't hard to find since it was the largest building. Getting a room was also no problem, and I was greatful as soon as we were inside.

"Hey, I'm gonna take a shower, I'm exhausted."

"Okay." I stripped down to my pants and pulled off my shoes. I sat on the bed then layed back, closing my eyes. I listened to Suigetsu taking his shower and to the river mere yards from the window. I was tired and this was heaven.

"Hey, why didn't we just walk across the lake?"

I sighed, did he really have to say anything? "I didn't want to draw attention."

"Oh, of course! Haha, Sasuke being the brilliant yet unobtrusive prodigy."

I opened my eyes and glared at the ceiling. "Do you have a problem?"

"No, no, no," I sat up and looked at him. Suigetsu was standing in front of the mirror on the wall, wearing only his pants and pulling the tangles out of his hair.

"Couldn't you have done that in the bathroom?"

"The mirror in there is fogged."

Made sense, but he had still put me in a bad mood. "So, what got you all riled?"

"I'm just tired from all that training, and I can't say I enjoyed that long fucking walk." He turned around, by his voice body language, I could tell that he was lying. Not really lying so much as trying not to give away what was really wrong. He was tense and his eyes were uneasy. He walked around to the other side of the bed and sat down and then layed down with his arms folded behind his head.

Option one, force him to tell me what Zabuza is up to. Option two, let it slide for the moment. If Momochi doesn't turn up then I can deal with Suigetsu then, and if he does then I can bide my time and find out what is going down at a better time.

I'm going with option two.

I watched Suigetsu, breathing calmly, trying to look tired. Probably hoping I would leave him alone. He opened his violet eyes, the same color as the shirt he wasn't wearing at the moment, then closed them again. His kekkei genkai allowed his wounds to heal instantly as long as he either submerged himself in water or consumed enough of it. Enviously, I surveyed his unmarred arms, shoulders, neck, his chest, his abdomen. I wonder…if his skin is cold? No, that'd be weird, it might be cool at least. Just like he just got out of the water, which would make sense. I leaned towards him and moved slowly, stealthily, for whatever reason I didn't want him to know I was moving, closer. I reached out my hand, then stopped, my fingers mere centimeters from his stomach.

What am I doing? I looked down, if I touched him there…what would he think? Maybe if I just touched his shoulder, he'd think I was just trying to get his attention. I moved until I was over him.

Wait, what the hell?

I froze, he still hadn't noticed, but I felt my skin burning. How could he not feel me? I was sure he could at least hear my heart, or my breathing. My insides were numb. My arms started to shake from the weight on them.

His eyes opened.

"Wh-" I slammed my hand over his mouth. Suigetsu let out his breath fast from his nose.

My skin was so hot now, I was certain I something bad was happening. I had to cool off, my heart was racing and my belly tightened. I lowered my body, taking the load off of my arm.

His skin was soft and cool. It was the coolness you'd expect to come with moisture, but he was already dry. I sighed and closed my eyes. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but this feeling was extraordinarily intoxicating. I slowly removed my hand from his mouth and ran it over his cheek then under his head.

"Sasu-" I forced my mouth onto his. He couldn't talk, I didn't want to hear anything he was going to say. But I had never done this before, I had tried to kiss him…I think…but I had done it too hard, out of nerves or fright. I tasted blood and pulled away and opened my eyes. I was fine but Suigetsu's lip had been cut open on his own teeth, probably a good reason why they shouldn't have been filed to points. He looked up at me, his eyes wide. It was impossible for me to tell what he was thinking, my own mind was so fuzzy.

Take two, I closed my eyes and slowly touched my lips to his. Uncertainly I opened my mouth and pressed against him firmer. Suigetsu gasped and arched against me, causing my to gasp. My stomach tightened more and my privates throbbed.

Things came naturally now. We kissed and pushed ourselves as close as we could. I moved away and gasped for breath. I slowly moved my hand down his side pushed my fingers under the edge of his pants. Suigetsu's cheeks reddened more so then they were already. I watched his expression change in relish as slipped my hand around and unbuttoned his pants.

"Sasuke, I…"

"Shut up," I hissed and pulled his pants down then sat up and began removing my own. I pressed myself against him again, causing both of us to pant and begin to press and thrust against each other frantically.

My insides were so tense, my skin was unbelievably hot, my sex throbbed and my heart beat hard and low in my chest, reverberating in my abdomen. Like a second nature, I sat up and forced Suigetsu to lay on his front. I reached down and touched my dick and was surprised to find how wet I was already.

"S-Sasuke, I don't k-"

"Shut up," I paused and attempted to think, but it failed. I just pressed myself against him and pressed hard. I stopped and tried again, this time sliding in. Suigetsu started to cry out but I pushed the back of his head, forcing his face into the pillow.

Clumsily I began thrusting, panting as I did. God, I never felt this before. He was so tight and I was so loaded. Suigetsu moaned into the pillow and struggled against my hand. I let up and he gasped for air.

"S-Sasuke, un, I…uh" he panted and gasped and moaned, arching his back and reaching under to touch himself.

The sight and sound of my love pushed me over the edge. I felt release and moaned loudly, grabbing Suigetsu's shoulder and pushing as far in as I could. Suigetsu panted, I could only imagine that he had finished too.

I pulled out and ran into the bathroom, nearly tripping over my feat as I did so. I turned on the shower and stumbled in.

What the hell did I just do?


	11. Intuition

I slid slowly onto the floor, listening to the running water both outside and in the bathroom. I sat, between the bed, the uncomfortable, single bed provided in this crappy inn room with my knees pulled to my chest, trembling slightly. My mind was so mixed and clouded. I closed my eyes and tried to pinpoint every little thing I felt; my heart still pounding, my sex throbbing and wet, the violation, my skin on the cool, wood floor. I took a deep breath and tried numbing all of these things. What had just happened was a fluke. Sure, I thought Sasuke was handsome, and when he had freed me from Orochimaru like he had promised, I had felt the need to flirt just a bit. I wanted him to know I adored him, that this is what I wanted all along, but I never thought it would happen! And I am positive he has no real emotions towards me, he was just caught up in the power of his own lust, even though it came at quite an inconvenient and rather bad time. Couldn't he have held off till he was alone with some young girl? Or maybe some female member of the Akatsuki could catch his eye. Why now? Why cause problems? Of course I could just play dumb, let him know I realize all of this and I am fine with it.

Then again…

What if…

What if Sasuke does feel something for me?

I pulled my legs tighter to my chest, hugging myself, forcing my pounding heart to remain in my chest. How could I let myself think things? Did I want to get hurt? It wasn't a feeling people tagged me for having, but I wasn't an iron wall. Things got into my head and they hurt. Yet they look so much prettier when I am the only one who sees them, when everyone else sees only how far I come physically and hear my cold words, see me kill mercilessly. These painful things, they aren't so bad until I am left alone with them, until I am left to their mercy…to my own mercy. These things tortured me for years trapped within Orochimaru's holds. Until Sasuke came. He spoke to me, told me of his brother and of his clan. He consoled his every ambition in me. I didn't say much, just listened, so grateful for the distraction. He promised to come back for me, he would set me free. And he did. He saved me.

Now…

Now I am not sure what to think of him. What else does he hide behind his nonchalant façade? Is there a person capable of loving, even me, within that cold shell?

The shower stopped. I heard Sasuke's footsteps, they stopped just before the door. All was silent for a moment, then the sound of shattering glass pierced the room. I turned and looked over the bed towards the bathroom. Sasuke came out and lay back heavily on the bed, his arm flopping down. When he was still, his hand gripped the edge of the bed and he stared blankly up at the ceiling. His knuckles were shredded and bloody. He slowly turned his head, realizing I was there. Our eyes met, he stared at me for the longest minute of my life. I released my legs and reached up. I hadn't even reached his hand when he yanked his arm away.

"Don't touch me."

Another one of those things. I stood up and walked over to where my pants had been discarded and pulled them on. I found my shirt and shoes and put those on before walking out the door

…

I got back to Konoha at the end of the first day. I met Kakashi just outside of the village.

"So what is the news?"

"Well, he is planning to join the Akatsuki in order to get closer to his brother."

Kakashi nodded as we walked towards the centre of the village.

"Also, he suspects me of not really being in tis to help him. He dropped a hint that he knew I was betraying him."

"Okay," Kakashi rubbed his chin as he thought. "It isn't really much, we suspected Sasuke would affiliate with the Akatsuki eventually., but it does help." He looked sideways at me, "You don't want to continue this."

I didn't respond, after all there wasn't a question there. I didn't want to chance orphaning Fuyu, as my father had done to me.

"Just stay with him, if things get real bad just get out and try contacting me immediately. Here," Kakashi held out his open hand without looking at me this time. I grabbed the two devices he held, they were radios. "One is for you, the other for Suigetsu. They are our best models; waterproof, small and easy to hide. The earpiece disconnects from the main part there and is connected to it wirelessly, just strap the main piece to your neck under your collar and this will pick up anything you say. Connect to line seventeen and you will reach me directly, I will wear one from this point on as well. The only thing is, you have to be within sixteen miles of the radio you are trying to connect to."

"Thanks," I put on one of the radios and pushed the other into my pocket.

"If you need it, Suigetsu's line is twenty-two." He looked at me, I nodded. This could be useful.

"Well, I suppose you would like to see your son?"

"Definitely," I hadn't even thought of this. Fuyu was on my mind but I had this stop in my mind as a quick report and then I would leave I was enlightened to hear I would see my son. After all, Sasuke had given me the feeling that he would shorten my time with Fuyu if he suspected any more of me.


	12. Tears

"Daddy!" Fuyu ran into his father's arms, I smiled. I imagined Zabuza as being a very imposing person, violence and strength in his very aura. This was not so, perhaps it was at the fulcrum of his past profession.

"Hey," he knelt down and just held Fuyu to him for a minute, I looked up at Kakashi.

"How have you been Kakashi? I don't think we've spoke since you helped me out with the furniture situation. Can you thank Yamato again for me; I never seem to run into him."

"Yeah, sure," Kakashi was rather absent-minded. Zabuza probably came back for a report; this only made me wonder what he told Kakashi which could leave him nearly speechless.

"So what have you been doing? I'm sorry I couldn't tell you I had to leave myself."

"Its okay," Fuyu was very quiet; he still had his face buried in his father's shoulder. "Me and Iruka-san have just been here and he takes me to the school. I'm not old enough for class, so I just draw while he teaches."

"That sounds great," for the first time Zabuza acknowledged my existence. He looked directly into my eyes for a long moment, I definitely felt intimidated now, and then glanced away to look me over and then return his stare. He nodded and then stood up, still holding his son.

"We cannot stay long; you said Sasuke is leaving in three days-"

"Two days, three when I started."

"Okay, two days. Getting back to Sasuke is priority; we don't want to lose him."

Zabuza nodded, he once again looked over at me. "Iruka-san, thank you for taking care of my son."

I nodded, Zabuza walked over to me, and I attempted to take Fuyu from him.

"No," Fuyu refused to let go. And when we finally maneuvered him off of his father he began to scream and kick while crying.

"Fuyu stop it!" The boy stopped immediately when addressed by Zabuza. Zabuza looked into his son's face and his face grew gentler as did his tone, "Be good for Iruka-san, if you are good, I will come back sooner. Promise to be good?" Fuyu nodded, "Thank you," Zabuza kissed his forehead then left quickly. I tried not to notice, but I think he had tears in his eyes.

Later, when the sun had set and I turned out the light excepting the one in my own room, I sat on my bed and allowed my mind to wander. Fuyu was with me, his head rested in my lap, a thumb in his mouth, the blankets were pulled up to his chin. He had a shark cloth toy on his unoccupied hand, something he made a point to show me with much pride the second day he stayed with me. He kept it always with him, tucked away in a pocket when he wasn't playing with it. I was running my fingers through his hair, wondering if I should risk cutting it. I just sort of let my own hair go, keeping it in a neat ponytail from the minute I get out of the shower in the morning and until I go to bed in the evening. This hairdo makes it hard for people to notice the horrible way I cut it when I do cut it.

I was getting stiff in my neck, I looked down at Fuyu wondering if he would wake up if I moved. I risked it. I carefully used one arm to lift him a little and the other to shift myself to a laying-down position. Fuyu made small sleep noises, taking his thumb out of his mouth, and snuggled into my side. I yawned and closed my eyes as I reached over and turned out the light

…

I was much slower coming back. I didn't want to go, I loved seeing Fuyu and leaving was torture. When I finally arrived at the inn in the small village, it was dark and I realized I had no idea what room they were in. I walked into the office.

"Hello, are you wanting a room? We have a few available." The girl behind the desk looked too young to own or manage the place, she was probably a second or third generation desk worker, taking over after she was old enough to relieve her parents of the task.

"No thank you, I came here to meet with two friends of mine. Perhaps you know which room they are staying in?" I paused, and decided not to use their names. "One is a black haired boy, the other a boy with nearly white hair, both around sixteen years old."

"Oh, them," she blushed, "room seventeen, I think."

"Thank you," I left. Finding room seventeen was no problem. I knocked on the door, hoping the girl was right. Sure enough, Sasuke opened the door slowly. When he saw it was me he walked away, leaving the door to swing open lazily and quite noisily. "Where is Suigetsu?" I looked around the room, not spotting him.

"To hell if I know," Sasuke sat down on the bed and rubbed his neck. "I think he went for a walk or something. You could go find him, getting back this soon is good, we should leave tomorrow instead."

I nodded, although I was tired I went to find Suigetsu. I preferred not to be left alone with Sasuke. I walked alond the river first, after about half a mile I spotted him. Suigetsu was sitting on the bank, he almost glowed in the moonlight. I walked down to him, when he didn't acknowledge me, I sat down next to him.

"Its quiet out here," I looked at him out o the corner of my eye. He was chewing his thumbnail and glaring into the water. I waited a moment for him to answer, when he didn't I looked away. "Here, it's a radio Kakashi-sama gave me for you. So we can contact him and each other." He took it without looking at me, I instructed him how to use it, but he merely shoved it into his pocket. For the second time I got the feeling something was wrong, but I didn't ask about it, even though this time my fatherly instinct was pressuring me to do so. We were not friends, he wasn't family, he could die in the next ten seconds and I wouldn't lose sleep.

Suigetsu stood up and left without saying anything. It was unlike him, usually he had some smart-ass remark for everything. I looked down, I do not know why I did, at where he was sitting. I noticed, of all things, four or five small drops of moisture on the sand. I could have easily wrote it off as just water from the river, but I was sure it was not.

…

Four weeks…four weeks to let these things wash away, if only they would. We were not any closer to finding the Akatsuki as far as I could tell. Walking in this heat annoyed me quickly and wore me out. My body was made up of water-based chakra, and it evaporated as water does in the heat of summer.

But now it is night.

Now the moon is high and my teammates are asleep, or at least Zabuza, Sasuke is just lying very still at the moment. Still and quiet. I listened to him breathing, I was disgusted that I made a point to know exactly which noises were his and catalog every single one. I can even remember the noises he made _that_ night, and when I did I was yet more disgusted at how much I loved them. Twice since the first time has Zabuza left to report, that was two more times we had done these things. That was twice more I heard these noises, they were intoxicating.

I got up, the night was cool and I was restless. Zabuza-senpai gave out a soft snore. He was definitely asleep. With this confirmation I moved, long before my thoughts caught up to speed.

I looked down at him…not on him…at him. Sasuke was a modern marvel, parading himself around coolly like he had no weakness, when I knew at least one little flaw. I arranged myself over him in one fluid motion. I had no plan, I just wanted to torment him, or possibly just myself.

I knew by now he was awake, he knew that I knew, I think we both enjoyed that.

"Sasuke," I spoke, knowing he hates it when I speak to him. I lowered myself and let my cool flesh be warmed by his body. I could smell him, he smelt like earth and like hate. Hate has a smell, it is a sultry, pervasive smell that threatens to suffocate you without ever doing so, it just likes to frighten you, make you its slave. "Sasuke," I was whispering, no, breathing his name, as I exhaled his aura which I breathed in with longing.

"Go away, Suigetsu" his eyes remained closed. I leaned foreward and kissed his left eyelid, before I could reach his right he flung me off of him then quickly followed up by jumping on me. He pressed his forearm into my throat and glared into my eyes.

We both remained unearthly silent, waiting to hear Zabuza's breath before breathing ourselves.

"I told you to go away, never bother me like that." Sasuke continued to glare at me. I could easily escape, just like I could that first night, yet I never did. Sasuke was the only person I would allow hold me prisoner.

He let up his arm.

He kissed me, not out of affection, or even lust, but to spite me. He knew I had a different sort of yearning for our contact. It was long and tormenting. He pulled away with his eyes shut. I leaned foreword and dropped kisses on his neck. I could hear the faintest noise in the back of his throat as I reached that special spot he hated to love so much when I kissed him.

He sat back fast, putting full pressure on his underside which pushed enticingly against my sex. He looked at me hard, studying my face and body language. I tried making everything unreadable, but my emotions were always too raw. I have a very bad poker face.

"Leave me alone," his voice was deeper than usual. I struggled not to flinch at his tone. He was pissed.

"I-"

"I said shut up!" He yelled this time, still in that same tone, he had put all caution to the wind in his heated temper.

"Well, actually you said to leave you alone, which I politely decline in doing."

He pulled his arm back to strike me, but stopped when I flinched. He got what he wanted. Sasuke leaned foreword and kissed me again, knowing he could have landed that punch…I would have allowed it. I kissed back, which he allowed. He let me take the lead, something rarely done. After a while he pulled away, got up, and walked off into the woods. I lay there, cold now that I was used to his warmth. I refrained from following him, knowing how it would end.

I was leaving him alone.

I sat up, not really taking note of the change in my senpai's breathing. I sat there until the sun rose.

I could still taste him this long after he left. I could still taste him past the salt from my tears.

…

What had I seen? Nothing. That is exactly how I will treat it. Who knows, it could have just been a very real, very perverted dream. I knew it wasn't, of course, plus it would explain some things. My teammate's off-handed way of despising each other, the silence when I come back from report, how I am sure I see tears one second but then am met with a glare the next.

Nothing, it was nothing.

…

…

…

…

Hei, guys

Sorry if this was long and boring

Just laying an emotional base for future events

I promise it will get better!  
plz review

-laura


	13. The Akatsuki

I felt between a dream and reality. I could still feel the tree pressing against my back, every knot and twist of bark noticeable, yet my head was clouded and my eyes shut with heavy eyelids.

I couldn't pinpoint an emotion for this moment. My chest was light and my stomach heavy. My skin was cold and yet my insides were on fire. My heart beat somewhere in my throat and my hands were folded neatly over my belly.

Walking helped, but I couldn't move. Feelings were so overrated, yet I succumbed to them everyday.

I loved him.

"Hey, the meeting is about to start!"

I glared around the tree. Hidan stood there, grinning like the devil himself. I let my hands fall, my cloak falling from where it had been pressed for so long, it once again hid what it had to. I walked towards him, hoping he would turn around and go inside before I got to him. Of course not.

"So, you haven't been on a mission lately, huh?"

"Well, Konoha is still under the impression I am disposed-of," he grinned. "Plus I no longer have a partner."

"That can be easily taken care of."

We stepped inside. As the only woman in the organization, I knew eyes were on me even if my body was hidden by this massive cloak. Anyways, if they saw what was under it, most would lose their lunch in surprise. I refrained from touching my belly, but there was a definite urge to do so. Even as the only woman, not all eyes were on me all of the time. I often saw eyes on Deidara, the youngest of the Akatsuki. He was not very tall, about my height in fact, and lithe. Plus he was gorgeous as hell, with long, blonde hair to top it off! I found eyes, including my own, staring at him and his every feature. His stunning cerulean eyes, however, were reserved only for Itachi. I liked musing with this idea, the two youngest and, by coincidence, the most attractive members of the Akatsuki were caught up in a little romance. Of course this was absurd considering Itachi had eyes for no one, nor, as far as anyone could tell, the drive to have an affair with anyone. After all, he was very ill, little to the knowledge of most members.

Everyone was gathered now. Nagato-san was up on his apparatus, the likes of which I had learned to despise. It had weaned him of his chakra, causing him to look thin and deathly.

"Now that everyone is here, let us get to the matters at hand." When Nagato spoke, I listened, except during meetings. Everything discussed he had already confided in me long before. He trusted me.

I was sure…he loved me.

Too.

When the meeting was over, I approached him. I hadn't even noticed that he had asked Itachi to remain behind.

"Itachi, are you aware I was contacted by your brother?"

"I was not aware," Itachi looked surprised for a moment.

"Yes, he wishes to join the Akatsuki. He and two comrades."

What? How could I have not known of this!

"He contacted me using a shadow clone two nights ago. He claims he is very close and I believe him."

"Thank you," Itachi bowed and left. His eyes caught mine for a second; I thought he could see straight into my mind. There was a glimmer I could not label, as if he knew something important but wished to keep it for his own devices.

"Nagato-san, what do you intend to do?"

"Hmm," he closed his eyes. Concealing the rinnegan, his much feared kekkei genkai. "I think I will let them join. I told him I would send him word. He shouldn't be hard to find."

I nodded, and turned to leave.

"Konan," I stopped and turned, my heart high in my chest. "How many months is it again?"

"Going on eight," without the prying eyes of the subordinates upon me, I placed my hand on my belly.

As Nagato said, they were not hard to find. Itachi's brother was easy to tell apart. The only other younger person there had pale whitish-blue hair and purple eyes. Sasuke was tall, raven-haired, and had the same detached dark eyes. Plus he was devilishly handsome, like his brother, though in a less subtle way.

"Uchiha Sasuke," he stepped foreword. "Nagato-san has sent me to inform you that he has decided you and your fellows may join the Akatsuki. I am to lead you to our hideout." I turned without further word and led them through the woods. It wasn't far, but I tire easily in my state. When we were inside I led them to Nagato's chamber.

"Very good," I smiled and went to take my place at Nagato's side. "Konan, will you please leave us?"

I was startled to say the least. I left, casting a furtive glare at Sasuke. My eyes met with the older teammate. He was a tall, dark man, with a more chiseled handsome appearance versus the soft beauty of the Uchiha boys. I stared at him for a moment, a stare he returned. My heart was decieving me! Beating this way for some lowly stranger, the only person worthy of this feeling was my Nagato! I turned my head sharply, letting my hair swing and brush across my face. I was merely exhausted, and confused by Nagato's sudden clandestine behavior. I left to my quarters, I needed a nap anyways.

…

Something had definitely changed. A week had passed since that night in the woods, when I rejected Sasuke's devious and restrained silent offer to make love, if you can call it love, off somewhere deep in the trees away from the campsite. At first I thought I offended him and he was punishing me. But since we found the Akatsuki, more has come up. He is not as short with me, or as demanding. He is more omnipresent in his orders, which I and Zabuza-senpai follow instantly.

And his eyes.

They are like those of a madman on occasion. He will stare unblinkingly at a plant, muttering under his breath. And then smile wickedly as if he shared a secret with that plant, one that may cause much pain and distress to someone. I feared that someone would be me.

On that note, he had touched me only once. We were walking, he allowed Zabuza to get ahead of him, and he dragged back next to me. I knew he was staring, and for the first time it creeped me out. I wanted to be anywhere but there. He reached out and touched my face, causing my neck to go rigid. His fingers were so cold! He then smiled widely, which I saw from the corner of my eye, and caught back up to Zabuza who lagged back once he saw Sasuke. Zabuza looked back at me, I couldn't tell what emotion he had, but I knew he felt the change too.

It terrified me. And this terror, as new as it seemed, was so hauntingly familiar.


	14. Split

Okay, so awkward situations were predestined over the last week and a half. After seeing Sasuke and Suigetsu the way I did, I don't think I can look at either of them the same way without picturing what they do in private.

Or it could have been a fluke. I may have just accidently seen the experimental side of these two boys after they've pissed each other off thoroughly. Whatever it was, I really tried not to think about it.

My real concern, how was I going to get out to report now? I mean, this hideout is well watched over, mostly by that evasive woman with blue hair. God she's beautiful! She's dark and seems rather sad while I think she is trying to be more hostile and secretive. There is something else about her too, if you come around a corner on her, you can see this look in her grey eyes, it is almost compassionate and tender, followed by surprise and then hostility of course…but it's there.

And then there's Sasuke. He isn't so frightening anymore; he mostly takes to himself or holds private meetings with Nagato-sama. On occasion, of course, I will catch him in some dark hallway with Suigetsu. Talking, presumably, though I can't help but have my mind go _there_. And then there's Suigetsu, who is acting odder than ever. Usually he is good humored and excitable. Now he is either in a gloom or hysterical about the dumbest of things, and the smallest occurrence can set him off screaming and tearing the head off the nearest person.

What the hell am I gonna do? Leave? I have definitely considered it.

…

I left and walked to my room, I felt dizzy and ill. Twice since we joined, that's two times in only four days, has Sasuke demanded I come to his room with him. He's violent and sick, tormenting me, destroying me and demanding I immediately leave him be.

Just a bad streak, I told myself, things will be normal soon. I sat, not on my bed, but in the same place I did the first time I allowed him to have what he would of me. I hid between the wall and my bed. My quarters were not very big, and I liked to hide away there. I wish we would get a mission, but Sasuke says we are "special" members. As in, we stay here.

It's horrible, I want out but I couldn't leave him. I have to stay here and hope things get better. And now the demons are more pressing than ever, with new ones to fight alongside the old ones.

I want these things to go away!

…

"Good night senpai! Don't let the bed beetles bight!"

"I DON'T HAVE BEETLES IN MY BED!" I smiled, Deidara and Tobi were a funny team, not good on teamwork, that was obvious, but they were cute. The two had got back from a mission and just finished reporting to the leader. They walked off to their own quarters, I imagine, off for the night. I looked over; Konan leaned against a wall, looking over the various ninja in the hall through half-lidded, darkly shadowed eyes. I watched her; she was staring directly at Hidan, who I already decided to avoid at all costs. He was the only member I had gotten a chance to know since he was always around. Hidan was brash and naturally hostile. Being cooped up here was probably the only reason he ever spoke to me, just trying to pass the time. Konan yawned and scanned the room, her eyes stopping on me. She stared blankly for a moment and then looked back across the room in time to see Sasuke coming into the main hall. He spotted me and made a beeline for the table I was at. When I looked back, Konan was gone.

"Zabuza-san, come on," he waved me over. After I remained stationary for a minute, he came closer. "Come on, I need to talk with you and Suigetsu."

Hesitantly, I stood up and followed. Just then, I had seen it. He wasn't the same person, I was sure. He looked manic, and while he was no longer threatening me, it was still terrifying. We walked to Suigetsu's room and stopped dead outside the door.

"Hey," Sasuke whispered, "you go in, I forgot something."

I had no idea what he was doing, but I complied. While he went to his room, I opened the door…without knocking. I scanned the room, the kid was gone.

Maybe he ditched, or was gonna be back in a few minutes. I sat on the edge of the bed, wondering why there weren't any chairs in these rooms.

The softest noise.

I looked down the other side of the bed, alongside the wall. Suigetsu was asleep with his knees up to his chest and his head against the edge of the bed. I wondered how he could get so exhausted that he didn't even notice I entered his room.

"Suigetsu wake up," I touched his head and he looked up.

"What the fuck are you doing in here?" He stood up quickly, his face turning red.

"Calm down, Sasuke says he needs to talk to us."

Suigetsu continued to glare at me, his mouth in a ragged snarl. "Doesn't mean you can't knock before coming in." He sat down and crossed his arms.

A moment later Sasuke came in, a bottle of sake in his hand and three glasses. "Well, I thought we may as well relax while we have this little meeting."

Suigetsu glared at him from the corner of his eye, but Sasuke ignored him. He sat down and opened the bottle.

"You see," he poured the sake and handed it out. "My brother will be back from his latest mission in two days. I am not so sure what our actions should be, so I thought I would ask the two of you."

Good, once we kill this brother of his, I can be out of this. "I think we are ready to take him, he is only one guy."

Sasuke looked up at me, his expression unreadable. "I have no intention of having assistance in defeating Itachi; I just needed you two to make sure we are not interrupted when the time comes." He glared over his glass, "I plan of doing away with Itachi myself. He will die by my hand and mine alone, and when he is eradicated, I intend to take what is left of his power for myself."

No one made a movement or sound. Sasuke, by the end of his dialogue, had convinced me he had gone completely insane. Before recently he had never spoken more than a sentence at a time to me, and his words were calm and collected. Now, he hissed and ranted, and his eyes were the most terrifying part. At times, I was sure they flashed yellow.

…

I was grinning suddenly. After I master the complete form of the sharingan and learn all the jutsu with it, I will truly be the most powerful shinobi in the world!

Why am I thinking this? What is the complete form of the sharingan?

The smile left…I'm going crazy.

"Yea, and what if you lose," Suigetsu turned his head and glared at me. "What if you can't beat him? Didn't you say he killed your _entire_ clan? You couldn't kill him in a million years."

Anger boiled up inside of me, clouding my mind. Everything was in a slow play-by-play, I felt like a rear-seat passenger to my own actions. I moved, dropping my glass and sitting up on my knees, my arm going back.

The song of a thousand birds.

Blue light was flashing and I moved to strike.

Zabuza was faster than I remembered. Swiftly his forearm rammed into my side and he grabbed the back of my neck with his other hand. I caught myself before I slammed into the wall, chidori no longer singing on my hand. Suigetsu stood against the wall, pure shock carved into his features.

I balled my hands into fists and ran at Zabuza. A threw a punch, he deflected, threw another and landed on his jaw. At the same time he hit me hard in the side of the head.

Everything was black.

…

Sasuke's head turned sharp and stopped just as suddenly. He slowly looked back at me.

His eyes were wide, wide and yellow. They were the eyes of a feral animal. Suddenly I felt his chakra rise. The pressure was enough to cause me to panic.

He was going to kill me.

He came at me again, this time I didn't deflect, I dodged. The second his fist collided with the wall, I was out the door.

Leave. Get out. Kakashi had said I needed to do this if things got very bad. They were bad, and I was getting out. I ran, but could hear Sasuke not far behind. A moment later I heard a third set of feet, I looked back and saw Suigetsu. He was faster than I was previously given the notion to believe.

I ran strait to the exit and strait onto a lake. I knew I couldn't outrun him forever, I had to fight. I stopped and turned, Sasuke continued running at me. I braced myself. When he came up on me, punches flew. It had been so long since I was engaged in hand-on-hand combat and I am not so sure I can keep up. Finally, I managed to push Sasuke far enough away.

_Fuck, my sword is still in my room! _I looked around at Suigetsu who stood on the shore. I wanted to call out, but at that moment my shoulder exploded with pain.

Sasuke had moved so fast, chidori slicing through the muscles in my shoulder, severing muscle and splitting bone.

I fell to my knees, I had not completely lost control of my chakra and caught myself before I plummeted into the water.

"Sasuke!" I looked up hazily, Suigetsu was running towards us. The second he was within range, Sasuke swung and hit him hard in the face. Suigetsu stumbled back, but then continued to advance. At that moment I fell into the water, I could no longer use my chakra. Yet I could no longer feel the pain. There was more yelling, then Suigetsu dove into the water. He grabbed me around the waist and, his kekkei genkai kicking in, swan to the edge of the lake.

He pulled me on shore and I sat up. Sasuke came off the lake and continued to attack Suigetsu. Suigetsu liquidifyed as Sasuke attempted to punch him. Sasuke fell foreward and Suigetsu kicked the back of his head.

Suigetsu turned to me. "Run!" He looked at me for only a moment then turned to stall Sasuke. I stumbled to my feet and ran into the woods.

…

Haha, bad chap swwy

Well review please!

\/.W.\/ -yes plz review

=]

-laura


	15. Reasons

It was dark. I know I hadn't gone as far as I should have, but this wound was exhausting. I sat with my back against a tree, redressing my shoulder with the rest of my cloak; I wouldn't be needing it after all.

"Zabuza-senpai," Suigetsu appeared from the trees. I was so drained I had no idea he was anywhere nearby.

"Hey, so you got away?"

"No," Suigetsu sat down next to me, my sword on his back. "He let me go."

"What?"

"He said that after you heal, he would love meeting you again for a rematch and sent me with this." Suigetsu removed my sword from his back and passed it to me.

"Thank you," I laid my hand on the hilt and closed my eyes. "You are coming with me, right?" I peered at Suigetsu out of the corner of my eye.

"No," He looked at me. "One of us has to stay behind for the mission, remember."

I closed my eyes again, "that isn't why you are staying, is it."

We sat in silence for a moment, and then Suigetsu left without saying anything. After a few minutes I stood, fastened the holster on, and sprinted off as fast as I could.

…

I hadn't known he knew about us. Or maybe that wasn't what he meant; maybe I was just letting this lay too heavily on myself. I stepped into the clearing, Sasuke was waiting for me.

"He's gonna be fine, the wound isn't so bad it's just slowing him down a bit." Sasuke nodded and I attempted to walk by him, but he wouldn't allow that. "Leave me alone," I pushed his hand off of me. Sasuke grabbed my cloak and threw me against a tree.

"Leave you alone? You don't have the right to request such a luxury." He sneered as he held me there. And I saw it for sure. I knew he bore Orochimaru's cursemark, and knew he ran the risk of being corrupt by the sannin's presence in him. And now, in his eyes, the same look I saw every time Orochimaru tortured me…attempting to force me into submission. Yet I never gave in, from the minute he captured me till Sasuke rescued me, I refused to join the Sound ninja under Orochimaru's govern.

Sasuke forced himself on me, yet his kiss could still soften me, even if it was unwanted. I knew a part of Sasuke was still in there, it came out at times. And behind this kiss, I could feel him.

I wound my arms around his neck and kissed him passionately as he wrapped his arms around me. When he laid me down and opened my cloak, I closed my eyes knowing I could never leave while Sasuke was here. I love him.

…

I could feel him, I was sure of it. "Kisame, I need to check something out, can you wait here?"

We both stopped, "Sure, just don't take too long."

I smiled lightly, "We're a day early, Kisame."

He nodded. I left him, heading in the direction I felt my brother's chakra flowing from. I jumped from each tree, wondering what he was doing out here. Was he leaving? Was he looking for me? I stopped.

I herd something.

His chakra was close, and someone was with him. Was it Sasuke I had just heard or his companion? It sounded like one or the other cried out, was he fighting? I moved much slower. I reached a clearing, lit by the full moon. With my poor eyesight it took a while for me to spot my brother.

And then I saw him.

Sasuke sat on an Akatsuki cloak spread on the forest floor, and in his arms... I recognized the boy as one of his teammates; Suigetsu was his name, a native to Kirigakure. I watched him, straddling my little brother. Suigetsu threw his head back and sighed as he thrust himself onto my brother, Sasuke's hands on his hips directing his movements.

I turned away. I felt sick; my heart was beating in my throat. I couldn't imagine what I saw was actually happening.

I turned back. Sasuke had flipped Suigetsu onto his back and was pounding the other boy into the ground. Suigetsu moaned and writhed under him, frantically gripping at the grass around him. Suddenly Suigetsu arched his back and cried out, finishing hard and hot.

I swallowed.

Sasuke let out a laugh, a laugh that sent shivers down my spine. He proceeded to fuck the other boy harder and faster causing him to scream. A moment later, Sasuke finished, throwing his head back and moaning loudly. After he caught his breath he draped himself over Suigetsu and kissed him longingly. Suigetsu threw his arms around Sasuke's neck and merely held him close. They rolled over and Sasuke stood up.

I left.

My sight was blurred to the point of almost complete blindness. I had to stop. I leapt down to the base of a tree and sat down. I rubbed my eyes and was surprised to find tears. I didn't even realize I had begun to cry. I bowed my head and sobbed soundlessly.

"Itachi?"

I froze…how did Kisame find me? I'm sure I didn't come far enough to be within his range of hearing.

"Are you okay?" Kisame knelt in front of me.

I swallowed and opened my mouth to say I was fine, but nothing came out. Suddenly I started crying harder than ever, shaky sobs coming with every breath. Kisame continued to sit there watching.

"Hey, you're really shaken up," he reached out and touched my shoulder.

I swallowed again and stood up, holding back more cries. Suddenly I doubled over and choked. Everything hurt, my vision was going black. Kisame stood back for a moment, giving me my space as always. I continued to cough, blood oozing into my hand. I gasped for air and held out my hand. Kisame grabbed it and helped me up. I leaned into him while the dizzy spell passed.

"Thank you," I spat onto the ground and stood on my own. "Let's go," Kisame didn't ask any questions which I was grateful for, and we continued to the hideout.

…

I saw the sun filter through the trees; I knew I was close enough which was good because I couldn't move any farther.

"Kakashi," I spoke into the radio and listened intently. I was certain he wasn't going to answer after a moment.

"Yea," the answer came out in the sound of a yawn.

"Kakashi, I need help. I am probably ten miles northeast of the village, I'm injured."

"Got it," Kakashi sounded instantly alert. "I'll leave as soon as possible.

"Thank you," I sat back against a tree and closed my eyes. I gingerly touched my shoulder and winced with pain. I was worried, I hadn't been able to move my arm since it was injured. It just hung in the makeshift sling crafted from my cloak. At least it was only my left arm, but I would have to do some therapy to get at least most of the former capability back.

"Zabuza," it was the radio.

"Yes," I opened my eyes and leaned foreword.

"I think I sense your chakra, but I am sending Pakkun, my dog, ahead to make sure."

"That's fine, just try to hurry," I touched my shoulder again and flinched. Gingerly I pulled back the makeshift bandages. I surveyed the torn and marred flesh light-headedly. I replaced the wrapping and closed my eyes.

"Hey, you Momochi Zabuza?" I opened my eyes and spotted a small, wrinkled, brown dog. "Eh…must be," he said before I could answer. He ran off into the trees without another word. A couple minutes later Kakashi and another ninja appeared.

"Are you hurt very badly?"

"I can run if that's what you mean."

"Good, we aren't far but it could still be bad if you're badly hurt."

"I'm fine for now," I stood up and stepped over to them. The other shinobi was quite, his dark eyes surveying everything with a distant stare.

"Lets go."

…

…

"What now?"

"What do you mean? Try not being so vague, Konan."

"You know what I meant." I sat down outside the door; I refused to come in. "Sasuke and his bunch, making that fuss earlier. And you know as well as I do that Orochimaru has a hand in all of this, and you know how I feel towards that creep."

"Come here," I closed my eyes. "Konan," I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned, Nagato had opened the door the rest of the way and was looking at me closely.

"Nagato! What are you doing?"

"Never mind," He sat up and adjusted the robe on his narrow shoulders. "Its been years since I wore one of these. I was talking with Itachi earlier. He says he is going to leave…I want you to go with him."

"What?" I looked up at Nagato. I tried to read his face but, as always, I failed. "I cannot leave you here to…"

"I told you q while ago now I was certain of my death," he looked back down at me. "Konan, go to Konoha and protect the future without me." He knelt back down and took my hand in his, I could feel every bone through his thin skin. "There will be a day when peace is not just a dream, that is still a promise."


	16. Depart

It had been only a week since I returned to Konoha. I was given I small apartment to live in, Fuyu came with me. He was so happy to have me back and I was glad to be with my son again. It was hard for me to admit to myself that I had once thought I would never see him again.

I shifted my arm uncomfortably. Despite the hokage being one of the most skilled medic ninja in history, my arm wasn't healed fully. She had done what she could and from here it was up to my body to bring it back to full capability. For now I just have to treat my shoulder gingerly, yet I have to move it a little in order to use it as soon as possible.

I looked out the window at the dawn. What was Suigetsu doing right now? I didn't want to worry, it wasn't supposed to be in my nature, but this feeling was pretty close to that. Dawn, I knew it was bringing new things, and I wished they could just go back to normal.

…

A meeting in one week's time, I knew that would be the last time I would see Nagato. This was the end of our relationship. I had known him for so long; I was finding it hard to imagine being anywhere but by his side. Nagato was sure that Sasuke, or rather Orochimaru, would try to take over the Akatsuki, using it for his own ends. Nagato also knew he was going to die by this same person's hand.

Orochimaru had always loved his morbid experiments and it looked as if he was planning on continuing them through Itachi's kid brother. A lab was being prepared, a lab equipped with some of the oddest and most frightening requests.

I walked to a window and looked out at the setting sun. One week from tomorrow, and I will never see this view again. Many sunsets and sunrises I expect to see, but none from right here.

…

I felt it everywhere…more power than I have felt before in my life. Twice Orochimaru has given me power, and this has been the best by far! But something odd was happening. I would forget things, and then do things I wouldn't do before. This power made me feel amazing, yet I hid in my own loathing. Why did I have to rely on letting this small bit of Orochimaru taking me over to become powerful enough to kill Itachi? Was it worth what was happening? Was killing Itachi really worth losing myself? It was becoming rarer and rarer that I was truly me, that I was controlling my own actions, my own thoughts.

I sat in my quarters. I was…scared. I didn't want to be consumed. It was horrifying. And I needed…comfort.

Tears?

I wiped them away. They were disgusting, I was disgusting. I felt so hollow; I was so alone in a world full of life. I turned to gaze at the moon through my window.

Should I have really left Konoha?

That was a dumb question, I had to. But at least people cared about me there, even if they were undeniably lame and weak. The only person for me here was…

Suigetsu.

I had decided before I realized I had decided, which is odd yet true. I had my hand on his door when I realized I had no idea how I got there. I was being taken over, and it was scaring me.

I opened the door as softly as I could. Suigetsu was sleeping; it was but the earliest hours of morning after all. I paused to look at him. He was pale and perfect, taken for granted and I was to blame. I needed him now, and if he turned me away it would be my own making.

Walking slowly in and shutting the door behind me, I approached him. My lover. I looked into his sleeping face, so tranquil and sad. It was not often anyone saw him like this, saw him for who he really was. He was like me in that way, disappearing behind a mask that hid his past. I wasn't sure what that past was, but in this moment I wanted to feel everything he ever felt. I sat on the edge of the bed. Suigetsu stirred, but was too tired to wake. I touched his face, ran my hand along his smooth cheek, I touched his lips and felt like crying.

Why do I feel this way? Am I dying? Is this what it feels like, is this not death pulling at my heart and squeezing my chest right now?

His eyes opened, Suigetsu looked up at me. After a minute of just staring at one another, Suigetsu sat up, looking away now as if ashamed. When I caught his eyes again, he looked ready to cry.

I kissed him, softly, as if making up for the times I hadn't, the times I forced myself on him even though he took every second of it. His lips trembled as we kissed; I put my hand on the back of his neck and milked this minute for all I could. I ran my other hand through his hair. I wanted to explore every part of him I had never appreciated, because I yearned for it. His every feature, everything that made up my lover was now baiting me.

He pulled away and looked at me. His expression was that of surprise mingled with longing and sadness. His eyes still looked ready to burst into tears, yet his pupil was dilated with yearning.

I pushed in to kiss him again, exploring his mouth as my hands dropped lower. When I found the hem of his shirt, I began pulling it up. Our breath became low and quick, we were just as excited as the other, yet as hesitant as if it were the first time…quite unlike our first time, ironically. After I had bared his torso, I continued to explore. I touched every subtle curve, every perfectly placed muscle. I pulled his slight body against mine. He wrestled my shirt off, our faces never more than an inch apart, we breathed in one another hungrily. I embraced him again, with such passion he gasped through his nose as I kissed him tenderly. He laid back to let our bodies get even closer. I could feel my excitement growing, as we both slipped out of the remainder of our clothes, my sex was on fire as was his. The contact was killing me, I longed to be as close as possible to this amazing boy, I wanted inside him, to be one with this person whom I…

Loved?

I pulled back and we took gasping breathes. I looked into his face, as if making sure this was real. It was, I loved him. I kissed his neck and tried pulling him closer, I embraced Suigetsu so tightly I felt my own breath leave my body. Suigetsu made the smallest noises of pleasure as we writhed against each other and I kissed his neck and collarbone. I moved down to his chest, his stomach. At this point Suigetsu's breath was coming in sobs. I paused; I couldn't sanely bring myself to go farther. I kissed his hipbone, nibbling at the tender skin for a moment, my hands running the length of his thighs. I allowed my fingers to reach his inner thighs, teasing that thin, sensitive skin, running up till I could feel the tendons in his legs, then going back out to his hips and up his sides as my mouth returned to his.

Suigetsu kissed back so fervently I was taken by surprise and quite nearly pushed to the edge. I reached down again and pushed his legs up, exposing his entrance. I kissed him slowly as I positioned myself. When I pushed in my breath caught in my throat for a moment and I shut my eyes in ecstasy. For the smallest second, I remembered all the times I had violated him, my friend. I had sought only to gut him and hope I could lose myself in the remains. I opened my eyes; Suigetsu's eyes were half lidded and staring straight at me. His mouth was open and a small trail of saliva ran down his chin.

I draped myself over him and kissed as I thrust further and further inside. We were both gasping and so close, our passion burns hot and fast, but to it I find no comparison. I could feel his member pressed between us as we fought to get closer and closer. Soon we were moaning into each others mouths until I thought I'd suffocate. I brought my face up and came with a loud moan seconds after I felt hot substance cover my stomach.

I lowered my head, my lips touching Suigetsu's. We just breathed, letting our visions return. I opened my eyes to find my lover's still closed. I kissed his mouth and then neck. I moved up next to his ear, I could feel my eyes burning and my throat go tight.

"I…" I swallowed. I could hear Suigetsu quieting himself, I felt him go still. "I l-" I couldn't say it, I couldn't admit it. Tears fell onto his shoulder and I sobbed quietly, my whole body shaking. "I'm…thank you." My voice was cracking; I buried my face in Suigetsu's shoulder and sobbed erratically. I felt sick.

Suigetsu, as he is accustomed, started to get up. He was going to go, leave me alone as I had so often demanded.

I held him firm. I pulled him back to me and wrapped my arms around him. I just wanted him there; I wanted to feel him with me.

"Please, just stay."

After a moment of confusion, he wrapped his slender yet muscular arms around my neck; I rolled over, pulling him with me. I moved down and pressed my face into his chest. Nothing could be more perfect than this moment as I listened to his heart.

"Sasuke, I love you."


	17. Complicated

It was gone too soon. A night of tenderness, my hopes that Sasuke had come back…all gone. He was more like Orochimaru now than ever. He would spend hours in that lab, working on something he shared with no one. Not like I would like to know, what he did now did not concern me. Sasuke was gone.

No.

He could still be saved, I knew it. There was no way I could give up on him.

I walked silently into the meeting room, looking around with mild interest. I had never before seen the Akatsuki in entirety. I spotted Kisame-senpai immediately, and with him was a man who held a shocking resemblance to Sasuke.

Was this Itachi?

I surveyed him from a distance until he looked my way. Loyal to Sasuke, I hated him. It was all his fault that this was happening. I tried not to imagine all the ways I could kill him right here and now.

I took my place amongst the other Akatsuki. Nagato, the leader, sat at the furthest end of the room, Sasuke to his right and Konan, a beautiful and mysterious kunoichi, to his left.

When the rest of the ninja had gathered, forming a half circle facing the leader, Nagato cleared his throat.

"Now that we are all here, let the meeting begin." He shifted in his chair. Nagato-sama appeared frail, like an aged man, yet he couldn't be older that mid or late thirties. "By request of out newest member, Uchiha Sasuke, whom I have laid my full trust in, the organization will take a new course in our actions." Several people shifted uncomfortably. "We have been docile for years, working in the shadows collecting the tailed beasts. Sasuke-san has convinced me that we need to take a more aggressive role, yet not with force exactly." He cleared his throat, Nagato was just as uncomfortable with this as everyone else. "We cannot release any exact information but we will be needing full consent of every member for certain tests to be done, beginning with a simple blood sample."

"What the hell is that for?" Hidan, one of the few members I had met yelled out. Sasuke had already taken a blood sample from me two days ago.

"If you do not like the terms Hidan, that is fine. You are welcome to leave." Nagato looked up, but he wasn't looking at Hidan but at Itachi who stepped foreward, unbuttoning his cloak as he did so.

" I am leaving, Nagato-sama," his face was emotionless.

"I will too," Kisame followed in suite.

Itachi looked slowly at the other members. Konon walked stiffly foreward, refusing to meet anyones eyes and saying nothing. She stopped and stood beside Kisame. A blonde boy, probably near my own age, looked at Itachi and back at Nagato slowly. Itachi turned to leave, walking right past me as he went. He turned fast and looked me dead in the eye.

A black-red mist hung in the air on which I appeared to be standing. Itachi stood a couple meters ahead of me, his arms crossed and eyes closed.

"You would do well to come with me," his voice was deeper than I expected.

"This is a genjutsu," I clenched my fists, I never fully learned about genjutsu and was helpless trying to get out of one. "What do you want?"

Itachi opened his eyes and looked at me. "I know about you and my brother, and I am saying that for your own good you should come with me."

He knows about us? He couldn't possibly mean… "Whatever, I am not leaving. You are a murderer and I would not follow you, ever." I glared at him.

"Fine," the image dissolved. Genjutsu was a tricky art, the time of years could be squeezed into a second. Itachi and the two others left silently. The meeting ended and the remaining members left the room. Sasuke beckoned me to him.

I followed him through a door at the back of the room. The door closed behind me.

"Suigetsu, do you love me?"

I swallowed, did he actually just ask me that? "Y-yes."

He turned and pulled my face to his in a passionate kiss. I allowed myself to melt into him, holding this moment just as dear as every other. Suddenly I doubled over with pain, choking on the blood that rose in my throat. I looked down to see Sasuke's sword through my stomach.

"S-Sasuke?" Tears rose in my eyes and I spat blood onto the floor as I fell to my knees.

The scene froze.

Out of the blue Itachi was kneeling beside me. This was still his genjutsu.

"You fucker…let me go!"

"You believed it," I clenched my teeth and tried to leave the genjutsu. THIS IS NOT REAL! "You know he would not hesitate to kill you, my brother is dead this is Orochimaru."  
"NO!"

The mist returned and the pain ceased. I gasped for air and Itachi stood up.

"I'm sorry you feel this way towards him. But Sasuke is gone," I looked up at him, Itachi looked distant and composed. "I look into my brother's eyes and see only Orochimaru." He looked back down at me. "Sasuke is gone, come with me or he will kill you. You have no use to Orochimaru, you are completely disposable."

"How could you? Sasuke is still there, I know he is," I clenched my teeth and glared up at Itachi, daring him to say one more thing.

I fell forward and Itachi caught me by my shoulder. He released me and left, Konan and Kisame following. I steadied myself and looked around. This time he really did release me.

"Heh, fuck you guys," the blonde pulled off his robe and threw it onto the ground. He followed the others with his chin in the air.

"Senpai wait!" A man wearing an orange mask ran after him.

…

"Eh, go away Tobi," I continued to walk, trying to catch up to Itachi.

"But senpai, you cannot leave!"

"Go away," abruptly I was pulled back and turned around to face my partner. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"You leave, and you die with the rest of Konoha." My heart jumped. This was not Tobi, his voice was completely different, his entire demeanor was changed to something menacing and powerful.

"Shut up, I'm going," I turned to leave but Tobi pulled me towards him, a sharp, deep pain resonated in my abdomine as he pushed a kunai into my stomach.

I looked down it shock. It wasn't deep…idiot. "Heh, if you want to kill me you have to do better than that, un." I grabbed his arm and pushed it away, the kunai coming out. He grabbed me by the back of my neck and pulled my face inches from his mask.

"I'm not killing you, now. I'm giving you enough time to tell Itachi what I told you, think you can remember it?"

I clenched my teeth, my stomach was cramping. "Fuck off," I pulled away and began to walk away. When I was sure Tobi was not following I sprinted. It appeared that they had began to run as well, into the woods.

I lept into the trees, my stomach twisting as my head started to spin. What the hell is going on? I stopped and vomited onto the forest floor.

The fucker poisoned me.

I gritted my teeth and continued.

It wasn't long before I lost my footing and plummeted to the ground. I lay absorbing the pain through haggard gasps.

I sat up, "ITACHI!" I screamed at the top of my lungs before falling over again, my sight failing.

…

"What the hell was that?"

"It was Deidara, Kisame. He was following, I thought he'd have caughten up by now though."

"It sounded like he was in trouble," Konan looked at me calmly. "Do you think one of the organization attacked him?"

"No, Nagato-san gave me full permission to leave. He would not allow one of the Akatsuki to attack those who wished to follow, you know this."

"Well there are some members that don't exactly fall under his jurisdiction."

Sasuke…but he has no reason to attack Deidara. Deidara isn't even in this, it was surprising that he even followed.

"If he's on our side we should go see what is wrong." I looked at Kisame. He always had an undying loyalty to his teammates, especially me.

"Fine, but I really want to get there as fast as possible." I turned and lept back towards where we heard Deidara.

"Whereabouts do you think he is?" Konan struggled to keep up, her cheeks were flushed.

"I don't know, but I think we should go to the ground. If he is injured he is less likely to be jumping around up here."

All at once we landed on the ground and continued running but slower now.

"Deidara," Kisame called out his name then waited.

"Here," we all stopped and turned just left of our current location.

It didn't take long to spot him. Konan knelt down slowly by his side. Deidara had sat himself against a tree, his breathing was labored and his face was sweaty.

"I-Itachi, Tobi poisoned me…He-"

"Why were you following us," I looked down at him. He had discarded his cloak and glared up at me past his bangs.

"I was s-sick of the Akatsuki anyways, y-you offered a free ride out and I t-took it, un."

I nodded and looked away. "How bad off is he?"

Konan pulled his face towards her and pulled up Deidara's eyelid. She pressed the back of her hand to his forehead and neck and then checked his pulse. By the time she finished her quick exam, Deidara had closed his eyes and presumably passed out.

"He has just over a day I think, but that is just an estimate. I have no way of knowing if this poison is putting vital organs in immediate danger or not, though I can tell it is not a neural-attacking poison or he would't be talking to us at this point."

"So basically if he starts puking up blood, he's got less, iff not then he can get better on his own but we should still hurry to Konoha." Kisame stared down at Konan and Deidara.

"Yes, that's basically what we have to go on."

"Kisame, it would be best if we left him."

"We are not leaving him," Konan glared up at me. With her dark eyeshadow and lip piercing she looked like a fierce vixen, but her words gave her away as an angel of mercy.

"Fine, you figure out how to get him there. And when things turn out to be for the worse, you can deal with having to get rid of him at that point."

She scowled at me and Kisame knelt down beside Deidara. "I'll carry him, Konoha is not far and I have more than enough chakra to spare."

"Fine, let's go."

…

"Suigetsu," I stood with my fists clenched and sweat on my brow. "I want to try something." He turned to me and I tried not to look at him. I looked instead around the lab. "Suigetsu," I looked at him, he held a syringe. "This is what I'm working on, I wanted you to be the first test subject."

I swallowed and took a deep breath.

He touched my cheek and stepped closer. "So, this is fine, right?"

"Yes," He pulled my arm up and injected it.

"Make sure you do not drink anything or take a shower. Do not come in contact with water for at least twenty-four hours, got it?"

I nodded. Sasuke kissed me, his hand moving from my arm to my waist. I let him pull me closer and kiss my neck hungrily. His touch, his words, everything was different.

Was Itachi right?

I closed my eyes as he lifted me onto the exam table.


	18. Turn

I watched Fuyu run through the grass, giggling hysterically. I waited a moment then chased after him. He looked back at me and laughed louder and ran a little faster. I gave the chase a minute before scooping him up with my good arm. I carried him, giggling, into the shade of a tree and sat down.  
"Catch me again!"  
"No, let's sit for a minute."  
"Okay," Fuyu sat down next to me. I closed my eyes and tried to remember the last time I got to spend time like this with my son. Since we left the Land of Waves it has been nearly two months.  
"Fuyu, do you miss our old home?"  
"Uh," Fuyu thought for a second. "I like it here."  
I nodded and placed my hand on his shoulder. He was only just over three but Fuyu was a smart kid, I could tell. "Say, would you like to go out to eat tonight?"  
"Yeah!"

…

"Why are you still wearing that anyways?" Kisame was looking at my cloak, the garb of the Akatsuki.  
"It's practical. We are travelling; despite whatever symbolism you deem it holds I am just being functional."  
"Hmm," Kisame didn't appear to be satisfied with my answer, but there was no way I was going to reveal myself just yet. Even though I would not hide this from them forever, I have been doing so for so long; I am just not comfortable with coming out just yet.  
"We should see how he is doing," I looked up at the back of Itachi's head. He stopped without turning back. Kisame and I stopped as well. Kisame slowly let Deidara off of his back.  
The first thing I spotted was a small trail of blood at the corner of his mouth. "Deidara," I smacked his cheek a couple times. "Come on, wake up now," Slowly his eyes opened, this was a good sign. He still being able to come to near-full consciousness meant he wasn't in immediate danger.  
"So, can we get going again?" Itachi had turned around. The moon filtering through the trees places odd-shaped patches of light on him.  
"Yea, we have to pick up the pace though, He isn't going to drop dead this minute but if too much damage is done due to the poison, he won't survive."  
"Well, maybe you should speed up."  
That look again. It was impossible, but I swear he knew. It felt like he could see right through everything, even into my own thoughts and worries.  
"We'll all pick up the pace," Kisame looked at me and then at Itachi. I nodded and helped him put Deidara back on his back and we ran faster despite the fact I was already painfully tired.

…

The sun rose fast in the summer. It may have just been my imagination but I think I felt the difference in the sun the closer we got to my old home. I looked up and spotted the sun's location through the leaves. It must be around eleven.  
Suddenly Kisame called out to me; I stopped and turned. He had stopped and pulled Deidara off of his back, Konan was still a few yards back. I came up beside Kisame and looked down.  
Blood covered Deidara's chin and neck, he was gasping for breath.  
"It sounded like he was choking so I looked back and saw this." Konan caught up to where we were. She stopped and stood beside me.  
"What now then," I looked at her. I needed her to realize she was an idiot. She readily handed out compassion to Deidara and now it is a waste of time.  
"We just need to go faster and he-"  
"And we have been constantly increasing our speed on your word while you are the one lagging behind."  
We were silent for a moment. Deidara coughed and I looked down at him. Sure I felt that he didn't deserve this, but he was inconvenient.  
"Fine," Konan looked at me. "I will go on ahead. We cannot be more than ten miles from Konoha and I am much faster than the both of you. I'll carry him the rest of the way using the main road."  
Konan nodded. "Wait a sec," She knelt down and reached into her cloak. She produced a slip of paper and a pen. "I can send word ahead; tell them to send out medics to meet you."  
I nodded. She finished writing then swiftly folded the paper in the shape of a small bird. She placed it on her palm and it instantly took off, fluttering high above the trees.  
"Good," I knelt down and started lifting Deidara.  
"Itachi are you sure you can do this," I met Kisame's eyes. I knew he was worried because of my condition, but the sooner we get to Konoha the better and they are apparently not satisfied unless Deidara gets help as fast as possible. This is the most logical way I see.  
"Yea, I can handle this."  
Kisame nodded and helped me get Deidara onto my back. I shifted him till I was sure he was secure and I was comfortable. I wasn't surprised at how light he was since he is not the taijutsu type, yet he was dead weight. I almost doubted I could get to the village before it was too late.  
I started off towards the main road. We were not far off from it, I just felt safer in the seclusion of trees. I stepped out onto the road and immediately started sprinting at top speed.

…

"Kakashi, Yamato, thank you for coming at such a short notice."  
"Yes."  
"I received this, from a much unexpected person. It is from Konan, an old student of Jiraiya's, though more prominently known as a member of the Akatsuki. She writes that two other members are heading here at top speed; one is injured and requires immediate medic care. She gives me her word that they are no longer members of the organization and are coming to Konoha to aid us."  
"What are you going to do?"  
Tsunade rubbed her brow. "I want to send you and Yamato with four medics to the meet them on the way to the village. I am confident that you will be able to handle them if something goes wrong."  
"Yes my lady," Yamato nodded.  
"Now please note that only the injured member is to enter the village, hold the other at the gate until the others arrive."  
"Yes ma'am," I turned to leave with Yamato.  
"One more thing, the ninja coming with the injured individual is Uchiha Itachi."  
"Itachi," Yamato looked confused. "Would you allow him into the village even if he is no longer in the Akatsuki?"  
Tsunade was silent for a moment. "Yes, but no one besides you two and the medics are to know of this. Not until we have cleared his status beyond doubt. And even then I believe it would be best to keep him under direct ANBU surveillance."  
"Very good, Lady Hokage." Yamato and I turned and left, heading at top speed for the entrance to the village.

…

It couldn't be much farther now. I winced as an intensified wave of pain passed through my body. Perhaps volunteering to expend this much chakra was a mistake. I honestly mean Deidara no harm; he never really gave me any trouble. Actually I would occasionally forget his existence. In other words my mind-set towards Deidara was indifferent, completely neutral. Saving him the way I am is merely to please Kisame, who has stood by me for years as an applicable partner and even a friend. My relationship with him is more important than my unconcern towards Deidara.  
The next surge of pain caused me to stumble slightly; my sprint had definitely slowed down. I tasted blood and my head started to spin. Luckily I cannot be more than four miles from the village, and if they sent aid in response to Konan's message then I should meet up with them soon.  
My vision periodically blacked out and my head spun with the pain.  
Suddenly excruciating pain caused my legs to freeze and my vision blanked out entirely. I fell hard onto my knee and then flew foreword hitting my head and rolling to a stop.


	19. Contact

"They just went down!"

"What?"

"Yes, they just fell and aren't getting up."

Kakashi looked at me and we started sprinting simultaneously. Within a minute the two figures were in sight. The first one I spotted was the blonde, ruling him out as Itachi. Not far from him was Itachi.

I hadn't seen him in years, since he was in ANBU. Uchiha was laying facedown on the path but was moving to get up, the blonde was motionless. By the time we reached the two former Akatsuki, Itachi was on his hands and knees, barely supporting himself.

"Uchiha Itachi…and this is?" Kakashi spoke as he knelt and turned the blonde over.

"Deidara," Itachi had managed to turn his head. He was panting and thick, dark blood covered his lips and chin. "He needs immediate attention."

"Yes, I see that." Kakashi turned on his radio. "Shu, please send the medic squad I had called immediately, make sure they bring emergency equipment, and the kid cannot walk," Kakashi turned to look at Itachi, "neither of them."

"I'm fine," Itachi sat back on his feet and swept his hair from his face.

"Yamato, we need to be with both of them at all times, as Tsunade ordered. Go with Deidara to the hospital and I'll take Itachi to headquarters."

"Yes," I took Kakashi's place next to Deidara as Kakashi stood and walked to Itachi. Itachi stood and the two of them stepped out of earshot. I turned my attention to the injured shinobi.

I could hear the footsteps of the medics, but I wondered if they would get here in time. The kid just laid there, face pale, a trickle of blood on his chin, eyes open to slits, and his breath barely noticeable.

"Captain," I nodded to the medic ninja who knelt beside me after setting down the stretcher and started taking Deidara's vitals.

The other medic knelt facing us and opened his bag. He pulled out a manual resuscitator and handed it to the lead medic, whose name I believe is Hotaka now. I recognize him from the ANBU Medic Unit, but he has obviously retired since then. Hotaka placed the mask over the young ninja's nose and mouth and immediately began trying to get him more oxygen. The younger medic began examining Deidara further as Hotaka turned on his radio.

"Izuru, what is the progression of the poison?"

Izuru remained silent for a moment, gently pressing Deidara's abdomen with his fingertips in various places.

"There is damage to the spleen and liver. It has reached the stomach and lungs by now, attacking and destroying the outer walls of the organs. I have no way of telling how much is in the blood, but it is probable that it has attacked his heart already. We need to get him in to Lady Tsunade before there is any further damage. Right now the organs need to be saved; whatever is in the bloodstream isn't what's going to kill him."

"Shizune, we are going to need Lady Tsunade's assistance immediately. We will be at the hospital within four minutes."

"_Understood_."

"Thank you. Okay, we will need to move him at once, Captain Yamato; I will need your assistance." I nodded. "Izuru take this," Izuru took the resuscitator and continued giving Deidara assisted breaths.

"Hotaka-san, are you heading out now?" Kakashi and Itachi had finished talking and stood a few feet away, giving us plenty of room.

"Yes, we need to get to Lady Tsunade as soon as possible."

"I see."

"Captain, I need help moving him." I nodded and pushed my arms under him at the same time as Hotaka. "One, two, three," we lifted and moved him as fast and as smoothly as we could.

Suddenly Deidara let out a small choking noise. Izuru immediately removed the resuscitator and turned him onto his side. A mix of blood and sick came out of his mouth.

"We need to go; the toxin has weakened the wall of the stomach. If it destroys much more or gets to the lungs the chances of saving him are down to near nothing."

I nodded and stood, moving out of the way so they could pick up the stretcher.

"Captain Yamato, run beside us on the left side. He'll be facing you and it is your job to make sure he is still breathing and not choking. We'll have to go as fast as we can seeing as we do not know the extent of the damage to his lungs, just that he cannot properly breathe on his own and we cannot run while using the manual resuscitator."

"Understood," I turned to Kakashi and he nodded. We started running. I kept my eyes on Deidara. At his throat, mouth, nose, chest, I watched for any sign that his breathing had stopped. It felt like we were not moving nearly fast enough. I glanced up and could just see the entrance in the distance.

I held no emotional obligation to this person, but morally and dutifully, I could not let him die. Silently I prayed we would get there in time.

…

It was peaceful. Sun, a slight breeze, the smell of cut grass even though I could only see woods on either side of the road. Civilization could be hiding anywhere here, in home of the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

Konan looked at the ground as we walked her eyes misty with thought. I eyed her garb again, frowning as I did so.

"Konan, it is not cold, it is a warm day. Take that damned thing off."

She glared at me through heavily shadowed eyes, not giving me a vocal answer but it was obvious she wasn't responding kindly. Of course this just made my suspicion rise. She had been the closest member to Nagato, and it still made no sense to me why she was leaving. I trusted Nagato, but with Orochimaru worming his way back into the Akatsuki though Itachi's younger brother, there was no knowing what Nagato's true motives are. Orochimaru truly is a snake, if anyone could do it, he could back Nagato into a corner that forced him to betray us to get out of. And there was no question that Konan would do whatever he asked of her.

I couldn't stand it.

"What are you doing here, Konan? It's obvious you didn't want to leave Nagato's side, so what are you doing here?" We had both stopped, Konan just three feet from me. I felt my fist twitch.

"I left because I had to…"

I grabbed her shoulder and puller her roughly closer, staring Konan straight in the eyes.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

She scowled and rolled her shoulder out of my hand and turned to continue walking. Before the warmth of her had left my palm I had grabbed her cloak. Our eyes met for a brief moment as I thrust her to the ground, the buttons of the cloak snapping and the fabric tearing. Konan hit the ground at a roll, her robe in my hand.

Everything stood still.

Konan, instead of jumping up to attack like I had expected, remained deathly still, lying on her side with her back to me. She slowly sat up and remained sitting there.

"Konan, answer me!"

She turned, her beautiful face contorted with anger, her hand resting on a swollen belly.

My heart stopped.

The cloak seemed to fall in slow motion as I stepped forward. Konan turned away, now only looking mildly annoyed.

"I am sorry; I should have been straight forward from the beginning, Kisame-san."

"A-are you okay?"

"I think so. It worried me for a second but I think I am going to be fine." Konan looked sad now, her hand moving slowly over her stomach. "Nagato demanded I leave with Itachi, he said it would be or the best."

"Is Itachi the…"

"No!" She looked up at me with shock. "Nagato just trusts him to take care of me."

"I see," I agreed, Itachi would do the bidding of Nagato even as he was leaving him. I held out my hand and helped Konan stand up. She stood slowly and remained bent over after standing. She waited a moment and then straightened gingerly.

"Let's go."

I nodded and we continued down the road, leaving Konan's torn garment without looking back.


	20. Affliction and Affiliation

Cold.

Hard.

Smooth.

My face still felt hot with the flush of sick and pain. I watched numbly my fingernail scratching the seal between the tiles. It made me angry. With him, with myself, with Orochimaru, with Zabuza-senpai. If any one of them showed up right now, I would give them a piece of my mind…including myself.

Where was I?

Lost.

I pictured I was lying under blankets, my face pressed into my hands and my knees against my chest. Someone ran his hand over my shoulder comfortingly. I would allow him pull the blankets away.

What's wrong?

I wouldn't answer; I'd never answer the first time.

It's okay, did you have another bad dream?

Yes. I bet you never had bad dreams even at my age, I bet you knew exactly how to deal with everything.

Do you want to stay here for tonight?

Yes, this is where I always go. When I am sad or angry or frightened. I always know I can find you here. I know you can comfort me no matter what happens, we can always be there for each other.

Always there…

My eyes panned down to the small pool of blood. Blood and bile. I could no longer smell it, I just watched it.

If that child climbed out of his brother's bed and entered this room right now, I would kill him. I would throw his face into the floor. Look at this…look at what you did. Can you see it? Do you know how stupid you are?

Look at what you did.

I did this.

I let him go.

If sleep is what came next, I am not sure if it was welcome or not. But it was accepted.

…

"Sasuke how is the progress?"

"Fine, I think I just need to check on a few things then the weapon will be ready."

"Good, thank you. You may go now."

"Yes," I turned and left. Nagato hated me, he hated my experiments, and he hated my plan. I wasn't sure why he complied so easily, but it was convenient.

I walked into the lab, Suigetsu was waiting as I had requested. He sat with his back to me, not turning even after I had entered the room. He wore a hospital gown, through the nonexistent back I could see his pale flesh pulled over his spine and ribs. He had always made sure he remained slender, but now he looked frail. I knew his kekkei genkai was rendered useless. With the taint in his blood, he could not use his birth ability to heal his sickness nor make himself any desired size.

It was perfect.

I had found a way to kill holders of kekkei genkai by using that bloodline trait against them. It was what was originally targeted; later the body was deteriorated from the inside. It was a masterpiece. With Suigetsu's kekkei genkai it worked faster than with the sharingan. This I couldn't explain. When the first experiment was made and Itachi was targeted it worked slow and that was what was intended. Now I did try to make in work faster, but I hadn't calculated this speed. It amazed even me.

Now, to view my accomplishment in the light.

"Suigetsu, I require an in-depth examination of our progress." I stood in front of him, Suigetsu glared at me with dull eyes.

"Whatever," he looked away with a look of disgust. I smiled. I loved how he realized at last that I had won, that Sasuke had fulfilled his purpose in the end.

"Follow me," I walked to the back of the lab and into the operation room, Suigetsu following disdainfully. I stepped aside and let him stare at the operation table. He glanced at me, then walked over and sat down. "Untie the back and lay down."

Suigetsu obeyed, closing his eyes as he laid his head back. I pulled out a syringe, filled with a diluted form of the antidote to keep his body from absolutely falling apart the second I opened him for examination. After setting up an IV and putting the antidote straight into the stream I placed the mask over Suigetsu's face, turning on the sedative.

"Take a few deep breaths and count backwards from ten."

"Ten, nine, eight, s-seven…si…" His eyelids fluttered and then closed. I waited a moment then removed the mask and picked up a scalpel, pulling off the gown as I did so.

I was ready to bask in my glorious success.

…

"The poison is at bay for the time being while I try to create an antidote. Sakura you will assist me."

"Yes ma'am."

"Shizune, stay here and try healing the vital organs as best you can. No matter what we will still have to perform surgery."

"Yes ma'am."

Tsunade and Sakura left, leaving the young medic to deal with the patient by herself. Shizune turned to me and nodded before placing her attention on Deidara. I watched her do the same pressing actions with her fingers as the other medic and done. When she was done she checked his blood pressure and opened his eye to look at it with a small flashlight.

The whole while Deidara lay there, still as death, breathing with the assistance of some machine I was unfamiliar with. I think Lady Tsunade called it a SIMV, though I had no idea what that stood for. All I knew was that it made sure he took a breath even if his body refused to do so on its own.

"So how is he?"

Shizune turned to me and just looked for a moment then turned back to her work. "He's stable at the moment although his vitals are by far below what they should be." She placed her hands over his abdomen, just below the ribcage, right where he had been stabbed. "Right now I am focusing on the areas with the most damage from the poison." I nodded and watched her concentrate her chakra onto that area.

I leaned my head back, wishing this chair was a little more comfortable. It was going to be a very long day.

…

Why can't we just get more members? The Akatsuki was diminished. We were down to Nagato, Zetsu, Sasuke, Suigetsu, and I. With Sasuke as second in command, Suigetsu put up all alone as Sasuke's little test subject, and Zetsu off on missions at every hour of the day I was stuck with menial jobs, like the one I had now. Go to the lab, which I do not like going near, and taking the patient back to his room. I arrived and took the gurney from Sasuke, giving him a good, spiteful stare before taking my leave. I pushed the gurney down the hall way before looking down at the patient. Of course, it was his little guinea pig. When they first arrived, I took Sasuke and Suigetsu as fuck buddies. But Things were different now, I hardly saw either shinobi and when I did Sasuke ignored me and Suigetsu was prone to going off on me for looking at him too long. Either that or he would look at me for a moment then look away dismally. Suigetsu was one strange cookie, gorgeous but strange.

Odd…that I found him attractive? I thought so and then I didn't. Yet I couldn't decide what kind of burru-sekkasu he was, and I was positive he was burru-sekkasu. Deidara, who had previously been my lover though neither of us admitted it to anyone or let any signs out, had been the dominant uke type. He would demand things go his way, but at the last second succumb to every little thing I had in mind. I had it in my mind that a part of Suigetsu might be like this, but it was hard to tell. I also had the notion he could be all talk and no action. He'd talk like he was in charge but be submissive. And another part made me think perhaps he was all submissive, despite his often aggressive and malignant attitude. This would place him as the shy, obedient uke that would always have new tricks to be taught.

To be honest, I cannot tell which would be more appealing. Deidara and I would drain each other, which was the exact satisfaction we needed. And he was daring, always doing what came to mind, never following any cues. This was exciting, but perhaps more exciting would be to change things up.

I stopped outside Suigetsu's room and looked down at him. His torso was bandaged, spots of blood had already leaked through the wrappings in various places, showing that the incision had been ridiculously huge. I smiled; this kid was getting more than he bargained for. Joining Sasuke would be his death.

I pushed the gurney into the room and lifted him off and into bed, allowing myself one last look before leaving.

…

I stood at the entrance of the village, Kakashi was next to me and next to him was Itachi. I had left Fuyu with that school teacher, Umino. I trusted him; he had a very docile and caring personality. Plus Fuyu liked him.

I recognized Kisame right away, but his partner was harder to identify. When they got closer I realized it was Konan, the woman from the Akatsuki.

And she is pregnant?

I was surprised but noted that she had her choice of any man in the Akatsuki; it shouldn't be surprising that she had settled on one. She looked at me and gave a small nod.

"Zabuza-kun, so we finally get to share company again!"

"Indeed," Kisame roughly thumped my shoulder.

"Hoshigake Kisame, and you are Konan, the one who contacted the Lady Hokage."

Konan nodded at Kakashi. She looked back up at me. I hadn't noticed while in the Akatsuki, but she wasn't very tall. She seemed so imposing in her place of power I hadn't taken the time to notice she was the height of a teenager. I tried not to smile at the thought of calling her cute. And in some inborn sense, I found her pregnancy added to her sweet attractiveness. It took away nearly all former thoughts of her as a deadly kunoichi. She was a beautiful mother, past her demure detachment there was irrefutable warmth.

"Zabuza, go with captain Kenzou. You will take Konan and Kisame to the Lady Hokage right away. Itachi and I need to go to ANBU to take care of a little buiseness. And Kenzou, could you relieve Yamato afterwards? He is in the hospital with another former Akatsuki member; tell him to come down to HQ right away."

"Yes, sir."

I nodded and followed Kenzou, who I remember seeing in the ANBU headquarters when I first arrived in Konoha, as we escorted Konan and Kisame to the Hokage. Finally, whatever Konoha is after, we are a little closer to achieving it. Bringing me closer to me release from debt.


	21. Looking In, Falling Out

Awkward? Was _I_ feeling awkward? One thing was for sure, Kisame and Tsunade had been talking for a long time, or at least it felt like it. Konan and I sat in a small room; down about three or four rooms from the Hokage's meeting room. It was sparsely furnished and had only one window which was curtained.

"So do you know what Deidara's condition is?" She looked at me without turning her head.

"No," Konan nodded and looked away again. "But if Tsunade, the lead medic, is not with him I'm sure he's doing fine."

"Or he's dead," her gave returned to me, "I don't need comforting, I was just asking for information."

Cold! "So what are you doing here anyways, I thought you were the leaders right hand."

"I feel like that is the only thing anyone has asked me." She turned to face me. "Why do you think I left?"

"Well…" I had no clue what she was playing at. "Seeing your condition, perhaps Sasuke made you realize you were taking too many risks. He's uncontrollable and unpredictable, his presence increases danger for you."

She smiled, "well at least your train of thought is a bit superior to everyone else I've had to deal with since leaving. Or at least it is the best sounding."

I smiled, hoping I didn't look like an idiot. "Well that is why I left; the thought of orphaning my son was a bit too much."

Konan raised a slender eyebrow. "You have a son? Not too sound surprised but I would have never pegged you as the type to have a family. So did you marry someone from Konoha, or are you just here for a mission? I am well aware you are a Kirigakure native, is that where your family is?"

"No, I never married. Fuyu's mother left him to me when he wasn't more than a few days old. To be honest, I don't even know who his mother is."

Konan snorted. Oops, wrong thing to say.

"I mean…" now how the hell do I make that not sound bad?

"It's fine; I'm not asking you to explain yourself to me. Hell, I wish I didn't know the father of my own…"

I couldn't come up with a response…I didn't even know what she meant. After a minute of excruciatingly awkward silence, Konan stood up and walked to the window and pulled aside the curtain.

"If it weren't for whom the father was, I would never have had to leave."

"…" I couldn't tell if she wanted to talk about this or if she was just lost in her own thoughts…women are so complicated. Luckily I was saved by a knock at the door.

"Hey, Lady Tsunade is ready to see Konan now."

"Very well." Konan left, and as she walked past she rested her hand on my shoulder for a second, silently thanking me for listening…or understanding…or at least thinking I understood. I don't know, but it was appreciative and peaceful. I smiled.

…

A mission?

I honestly did not mind the mission so much as the fact that Hidan took it without consulting or at least informing me first. The fact that Sasuke was already usurping me was disturbing; I had hoped to hold off any major moves by him for a while longer. Now it is only a short matter of time before he attacked Konoha. Whether this is by Sasuke's will or Orochimaru's, there is no doubt that it would come to pass.

The mission? The mission was to recruit another one of Orochimaru's old subordinates, a young ninja by the name of Kabuto. The mission honestly didn't bother me in itself, I just feared what lay in its wake.

…

"Stay here, I'll come back after speaking to Lady Tsunade."

"Okay."

I left, knowing I had already sided with Itachi. While I had trusted every Hokage I had seen preside over the village, I wasn't stupid enough to trust the elders. They were stuck in there old ways, their decisions stuck in the dark ages of Konoha's founding. I didn't doubt for a second that Itachi had been ordered, as barely more than a child, to kill the Uchiha clan. If this was true, it meant he would be cleared of every indictment against him, meaning he would be free to assist us in taking out the Akatsuki. But there was problem. In order to prove this we would need to get into the high security documents, which can only be viewed with the consent of the Hokage and _all_ of the elders. I needed to speak with the Hokage to confirm I did not miss any loophole that could prove his innocence without the consent of the elders, which is something that would never come to pass no matter how long they lived.

…

Smooth, yielding flesh under my lips, my tongue, my fingertips. Shallow breaths in my ear, a shaking hand on my shoulder. I moved my mouth from his neck to his chest, running my fingernails down his bare back, sliding my hands into the back of his pants and pulling him closer.

"S-Sasuke…" Suigetsu trembled as he spoke. I was positive he had started crying.

_Suigetsu…I'm sorry._

"What do you want?"

_That isn't my voice, these aren't my words. _

"Sasuke…"

I smiled. Whether that was his answer or not, I wasn't satisfied. I looked him in the face, sharing our very breath, as I slipped my hands around his waist and began unfastening the front of his pants. I pushed them over his hips and grabbed his member, rubbing and pumping instantly. Suigetsu squeezed his eyes shut and gasped, his hand gripped on my shoulder and his hips bucked. I stepped foreword, pushing him against the wall and forcing my mouth onto his.

"Now tell me, what do you want?" I whispered into his ear breathily.

"P-please," he pushed against my shoulder now instead of grabbing it.

_Suigetsu…I'm…I can't…_

"What," I ran my hand up over his stomach, rubbing the still raw scar I had just finished healing roughly, "do you want?" Our eyes met for a second time and now Suigetsu stared into mine, terrified at what he saw. "Sasuke is buried too deep now…You cannot reach him."

Suigetsu's wide eyes remained locked with mine for a moment longer before I savagely kissed him. He pressed himself farther against the wall, as if trying to escape through the solid stone. After confirming he could get away from me, Suigetsu merely stopped moving and let me take over completely.

Moving to the bed I removed my pants, smiling at how Suigetsu looked away, tears running down his cheeks and just laying there waiting for whatever I wanted to do. I leaned foreword, placing myself over him as I placed slight pressure at his entrance.

"Suigetsu, do you want me to fuck you?"

He swallowed, still keeping his eyes away from me. I smiled and pushed in slowly, stopping when he closed his eyes. Then, all at once I drove the rest of my length into him as far as it could go. Suigetsu cried out and gripped the sheets, breaking his hush only made more blood rush to my sex. I grabbed his bangs, clearing them from his face and forcing him to look directly at me. My grin became painfully wide. I thrust in again with just as much force as before. Suigetsu moaned and writhed, I could only imagine that his not completely healed incision mixed with the painful man made affliction I set upon him was ravishing him with pain. I grabbed his sex with a firm hold and began pumping in time with my thrusts. Suigetsu, with his eyes squeezed tightly shut came between us. With this satisfaction I finished. I pulled out and sat back watching as he slowly opened his eyes and looked at me. Fear, hate, sorrow, loss…it was all there.

"Till next time." I got up, assembled my wardrobe and left without looking back. The same smile still stretched my face as I returned to my work.

…

"_Your brother should return from his mission any day now, Suigetsu." She turned, violet eyes framed with silver lashes gazed adoringly down at me. "I should return before your father though, it is just a routine assassination after all."_

"_Can I go swimming?"_

"_Yes, just make sure you practice with Ran-sensei every day." She finished tying on her headband, the same I would wear when I reached the appropriate level. I liked the way it pressed her white-blue hair to her skull, the same way her ANBU uniform still let know she was a woman. She knelt in front of me smiling benevolently, I handed her the mask I had been holding. "I love you Suigetsu, and I will see you soon."_

"_I know mom."_

_Mom…mother. Her name…it was Miho…the most beautiful name in the world…Miho, Death's Pale Paramour…Mistress Murder of the Mist…mother._

Should I have just gone home?


	22. Drift

Well that wasn't very hard at all…how disappointing! All I really needed to do was find this guy, which didn't take long at all. No fight, not even an argument. I think he never even said all of three words to me. Yea, that's right 'Very well' that was it!

I plopped down in a chair, deciding I wouldn't even bother reporting.

It hadn't been barely more than a week since I saw him, but Sasuke's little pet looked more desolate than before. When he spotted me he didn't even bother giving me his usual venomous stare. Suigetsu sat down and rested his cheek lazily on his hand. I stood up and walked over to him. He didn't even glance at me when I sat down beside him.

"Quiet lately huh?"

No acknowledgement.

"Suigetsu…that's kind of a stupid name you know." He looked at me indolently from the corner of his eye. "I mean 'water moon'? That's a poetic term right…pretty gay."

"Of all the things you could have said you had to say something remotely intelligent and then make yourself out to be an idiot in the end?"

"Hey, I'm violent, not a barbarian."

I expected a chuckle, a smile at least. Suigetsu just looked at me monotonously for another moment then looked away.

"I thought you would leave with that other guy, the other one you came with."

No answer.

"What was the deal with you guys anyways?" I leaned back in my chair idly. "You weren't here very long before you all started fighting with each other."

His brow lowered; at least that was a response.

"Do you drink?"

He looked at me again, a slightly amused gleam in his eyes. "That was random."

"Not really," I nonchalantly ran my hand through my hair, keeping it in place. "I enjoy some sake after missions. Sake and a long nights sleep. Though I wouldn't mind a little company, and you just so happen to be the only person here remotely human."

He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitched but some buried sentiment inhibited him from smiling. "Okay, I think I could use a drink."

I got up and walked to my room, Suigetsu following silently. We stopped and took off our shoes simultaneously upon entering. I closed the door behind us, my heart picking up its pace a little as I decided to lock it.

"Sorry there are no chairs."

"Yea, it's the same in my room."

"Well we can just sit on the bed, beats standing and the floor."

"Hm," it was almost a laugh. Suigetsu sat down and I walked to my cupboard, pulling out two glasses and one of my favorite bottles of sake.

"I can't remember the last time I used this second glass," that was a lie. About three days before Deidara left I had him in here sharing a drink with me. Just one of those little things we enjoyed together without it ever leaving this room. I sat down, pushing a pillow up against the headboard and leaning against it. Suigetsu moved and sat beside me, accepting the glass after I had poured it.

"Thanks," he downed the whole thing almost before I had started drinking my own.

"Slow down now, it won't last forever." I finished mine just to catch up then poured us each a second. "So what are you doing here anyways? Just serving Sasuke or what?"

"Yea that's about it. I'm kind of indebted to him."

"Ah," I had no clue what he meant and I honestly couldn't give a fuck. "So is that the only thing between you two?"

He stared at me for a moment, turned his head and took a drink before speaking. "No."

"You were fuck buddies weren't you?"

I honestly think if the angle weren't so awkward he would have hit me. Suigetsu glared at me for a moment, studying my face, perhaps trying to tell if I was joking or not.

"No, it wasn't like that." He turned away and went to take another drink, stopping with the glass touching his lip, "that's all history now though. Things are different," he drained the rest of the glass then leaned his head back in thought.

I took a long drink remembering how Deidara and I were. I knew he had no real emotions for me and I had none for him. One day something just happened, then it kept happening, I guess we were more so the fuck buddies in the situation. What ever, I had virtually no morals, and I was fine with that.

I refilled our glasses. "So how about a lighter topic?"

"Like what?"

I shrugged "I don't really care, you pick."

Suigetsu frowned, "I'm no good at that."

"Well what are you good at?"

"I don't know…I don't really feel like talking." He took a long drink.

"Well what do you feel like doing?" I leaned towards him. I made sure I could be taken as just joking around, drunk, or serious.

Suigetsu blushed and took another drink. I reached behind me and set my glass on a side table. As soon as his glass left his lips, I forced my mouth onto his. At first he froze completely as I tried to kiss him. Then Suigetsu slowly started kissing back. I gently eased the glass from his hand and, never separating, leaned foreword to set it on the other table. Then in one fluid moment I had him on his back, kissing more fervently.

Suddenly he stopped.

Suigetsu put his hand on my chest and pushed me away, rolling off the bed and grabbing his shoes before he silently left. I stared at his abandoned cup for a minute before downing its contents then rolling over into my blankets.

…

The door closed with the pressure from me leaning against it. I slid down, sitting on the floor with my shoes clutched to my chest. My heart was still beating so fast.

Why did it feel wrong?

Sasuke was gone; he…or Orochimaru…even said so.

No.

He said I couldn't reach him…he's still there.

I leaned my head against the door, thankful for its support. If it were not there I would fall right back on my head. I couldn't deny that the physical presence of another person felt good. It was wonderful, it was amazing to be warm again, excited, comforted. Although I knew Hidan wasn't really in this for friendship or solace, what I was interested in, he was much better than nothing. In those brief moments I was covered with his warmth, his body, when I could feel his mouth, hot, wet, his tongue inside me, trying to bring me out, wake me up, stimulate me I was more content than I had been in a very long time. Yet there was that feeling that I was doing Sasuke wrong when the truth was…

Sasuke had left me.

He chose power over me.

I shouldn't think of it as so surprising, or unbelievable…I always knew I was never a priority.

My tears were so hot I had to check and make sure they were not something else. I felt so tired. I slowly got up and crawled into bed, not even realizing I had brought my shoes with me.

…

So much for all of that. I don't think I'll bother getting up at all today. My head hurts and it's almost four anyways.

There was a small knock, a dint even notice it. Then a second knock came at the door. I stood up and opened the door.

"Suigetsu?" He stared dead at me and gave me a very slight smile. "Er, come in." I stepped inside and Suigetsu came in.

"So I was just sort of surprised last night, I'm not sure why I ran away."

"Uh-huh," either he was lying or wasn't sure if he actually still wanted to be here. One way to find out. I leaned foreword and kissed him, he kissed back immediately. That is what I'm looking for.

I placed my hands on his waist and stepped foreword. Suigetsu wrapped his arms around my neck, trying to match my passion. We pressed our bodies together. I slipped my hand down his body to his ass then running down his leg. I pulled his leg up and got a better position. He responded instantly, grinding against and gasping through his nose. I slipped my other hand down then up his shirt, feeling the soft skin of his belly. I removed my hand for a moment to unbutton the top of his shirt, exposing his neck. I moved down and began kissing his neck and throat. I began pulling his shirt up, pressing his exposed abs to my own shirtless body. The direct contact was amazing I stepped back long enough to pull off his shirt, to which Suigetsu had no objection. As soon as it was off I placed my lips and tongue against his nipple. Suigetsu moaned and continued to press against me, creating more arousal between us. When I dropped to my knees, kissing along the scar from his recent surgery, Suigetsu froze.

"H-Hidan…"

I kissed along the top of his pants as I began unbuttoning them. Pulling his pants over his hips revealed an already hardening member. I kissed, teasingly, mere centimeters from the base. Suigetsu's breathing sped up; he placed his hands on my shoulders to steady himself. I licked along the shaft, enjoying every inch and the way it made him gasp and moan. When I reached the head I licked it for a minute before putting my lips around it, letting my teeth graze the velvety skin.

"Ahh…" Suigetsu gripped my shoulders.

I placed my hand on his butt, pushing him in till my nose touched his abdomen then pulled him nearly all the way out, sucking hard. Suigetsu moaned loudly. I continued pumping my head back and forth; Suigetsu's knees started giving away from the pleasure, pressing against my chest.

I pulled back for a second. I pushed one of his legs up and then covered my middle finger with a mixture of saliva and precum. Placing his sex back in my mouth, I moved my hand around to his entrance. When I pushed my finger in Suigetsu gasped and whimpered. I pushed in then pulled back, I curved my finger gently in search of that special spot. After a moment, while still sucking his dick, Suigetsu moaned loudly, but it wasn't quite the reaction I needed. I was close though. I pushed in a little farther and then pressed in the same direction. Suigetsu cried out, his hips bucking. Perfect.

I timed hitting his prostate in the perfect relation to my attention to his member. When I recognized how close he was, I stopped abruptly, pulling my finger out and standing. As we kissed I unbuttoned and discarded my own pants. I pulled Suigetsu close, the touch of his highly aroused sex against my own was causing me to get hard fast. Slowly I directed us towards my bed. When the backs of my knees touched it, I turned us around and laid Suigetsu down. I remained standing, admiring his lithe, flushed body. Suigetsu's face was relaxed; he stared up at me through half-lidded eyes.

Slowly I draped myself over him. Slowing back down, I took the time to kiss him deeply. I could tell Suigetsu appreciated it as he kissed back, his arms around my neck. Slowly I pushed his legs up, positioning myself between them, my member at his entrance. I pushed in slowly, painfully slow. I watched him. Suigetsu's eyes shut and he sighed. As I got further in he moaned and rocked his hips to get the positioning right. I pushed all the way in and Suigetsu threw his head back, his mouth open gasping. I pulled back then thrust in unhurriedly, making sure I found his prostate this time. When I knew I hit it, Suigetsu made this very obvious, I sped up, hitting it every time.

Suigetsu moved with me, moaning and gripping the sheet frantically I could feel myself getting close but I held back. When I thought I couldn't take it anymore, Suigetsu came. He moaned and arched his back, cum covering his stomach. Satisfied I closed my eyes and let go.

We remained still for a minute, catching our breath. I pulled out slowly and rolled over to lie next to him. Suigetsu's eyes remained closed, he breathed through his nose deeply, his hand still holding the sheet.

"Hey," He opened his eyes and turned his head to meet my gaze.

"What?"

"Nothing, it just looked like something was wrong."

He shook his head. I sat up and looked around. I grabbed a dirty pair of boxers, lazily discarded on my floor, and wiped myself off.

"Here," Suigetsu nodded and cleaned himself as well. "Just through them on the floor." Suigetsu laughed breathily.

I lay down; I didn't even bring myself to grab a quick before-bed drink. Suigetsu sat at the end of the bed, looking like he wasn't sure what to do.

"Why don't you come lay over here, beats getting dressed and walking back to your room."

"Yea…okay." He moved up slowly next to me. I sat up and grabbed the blankets which had fallen to the floor.

I laid back down and covered our naked bodies. I rolled over and put my arm around him, Suigetsu remained still for a moment then turned and pressed his face to my chest. As I was falling to sleep, I tried not to acknowledge that he was crying.

…

-No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.-

I gripped my head, my hair between my fingers.

-Get out, please go away. I changed my mind, I do not need your help-

~Of course you do, besides it seems like I'm the one calling the shots so why don't you go away?~

-No! This is my body, it's my life. You should have left me alone from the start!-

~But that would have never let me to meet my ends. Which, of course, is not acceptable. If you want to blame someone, blame your brother. He lived to protect you but refused me, so I had no choice but to turn to you.~

-Shut up…Itachi has nothing to do with this. Our quarrel has nothing to do with you, stop toying with me. Just go away, or I will make you.-

~Please, you couldn't even pick up a glass of water, this isn't your body anymore.~

I knew it was true.

~After killing Kabuto I will be able to reunite both parts of myself, shutting you up perminantly. All you can do is quietly wait to lose all control, Sasuke, this was your choice. Don't worry, with your sharingan in my possession I have no need for Itachi. Your brother will meet his end yet.~

I gave up. It wasn't really a choice, it was all that was left. Suigetsu…I knew he was hurt by my decision. If I could find a way to fix this, the first thing I will do is let him know I never stopped thinking about him. I can only hope that if…or when…I fail, he can find a way to cure what Orochimaru did and move on. I only want him to be happy, I wish I had spent more time getting to know him. I could tell he was a very complicated person, I was just to absorbed in my own issues. My biggest regret…I never got to tell him I love him.


	23. Vermilion

I could feel his breath change on the back of my neck, pulling me from my thoughts. He groaned a little then yawned. Hidan's strong arm wrapped tighter around my waist and he kissed the back of my neck.

"Are you awake?"

"Yea," he ran his hand up to my chest finding my hand and enclosing it in his own.

"I don't remember sleeping this good." He kissed my neck again. I shrank away, pressing my face into the pillow.

What have I done? Why didn't I just stay away? What if Sasuke found out? What is he manages to escape Orochimaru and actually wants me back? I would have to deal with this.

I felt Hidan sit up and could tell he was looking down at me. "Do you want to talk?"

I swallowed and squeezed my eyes shut. I wished he would disappear and I would be in my room like a good boy. I didn't want to talk and I wish he hadn't noticed something was bothering me. Although I know he isn't in this for a long term thing, I don't think Hidan is the type to take kindly to being cast off.

"Do you want a shower?"

"Yea," thanks for changing the subject.

Hidan got up and walked into his bathroom. I sat up and wiped my eyes quickly before he came back into the room. I froze looking at him. I was too busy to notice his body, which was bigger than Sasuke's but still shaped just as perfectly. I tried not to take note that everything was bigger…kinda thought I felt something different. I looked away hoping I hadn't blushed.

"Hey," Hidan had walked over and climbed onto the bed next to me. He kissed my ear playfully, "wanna take a shower together?"

"Okay," Hidan kissed my cheek. I turned my head and our mouths met. It was obvious he was more than well practiced. I let him explore my mouth, taunting me with perfected movements of his tongue. He moved down to my neck, sending electric tremors through my nerves.

"Come on," he took me by my arm and led me into the bathroom. I stood there dumbly as he turned on the shower and set out two towels. "After you," he stepped aside at his own amusement and watched me step into the running water.

I closed my eyes, regretfully remembering how I had just finished a shower the first time Sasuke and I had had sex. After a moment I felt Hidan touch my hip. I had been too absorbed in my memory to notice he had gotten in after me. He kissed the back of my neck, moving his hand to run across my belly. I could feel his sex against my backside and almost involuntarily pushed myself against him.

Hidan reached past me and grabbed some soap. He opened the bottle and put a generous amount on his palm and ran it over my chest. He set down the bottle and his other hand joined the first running down my wet body. His hands came to rest on my hipbones, his thumbs running over the thin skin. I shut my eyes, I felt dizzy…dizzy and sick. I coughed a little as Hidan kissed my shoulder, sudden pain shooting through my insides. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the hot water run down my body. Suddenly Hidan released me. I opened my eyes.

Just as he spoke I saw it.

"You're bleeding," I touched my chest trying to find the source of the blood. I ran my hand up to my neck and to my mouth. I hand t even noticed the taste till now.

"I'm sorry…" I covered my mouth and moved to step out of the shower but Hidan caught me by my arm.

"Hey, what happened?"

His voice sounded unearthly distant. It felt like I was falling in slow motion while I stood there, my vision turning fuzzy. I could feel myself starting to puke and I tried turning around but Hidan was still saying something and wouldn't let me leave. I bent down and vomited at our feet. Hidan let go ant stepped back, nearly slipping in his haste. I dropped to my knees, choking and heaving. I crossed my arms over my stomach, as if I could squeeze off the pain.

"Shit…" Hidan reached over and shut off the shower. "Fuck…Shit…are you okay?"

I tried breathing but every convulsion took the place of a breath. When I managed to get a shaky breath in it was immediately followed my burning pain in my chest and I would vomit more. Finally there was nothing left and just sat there in the pain dry heaving into the pool of bloody bile and tears.

Hidan was saying something; he had knelt down and had his hand on my shoulder.

It got worse…I think I was screaming.

Hidan had his hands on my shoulders, shaking me.

Suddenly it stopped…a deep, sore throbbing was left. I was laying with my face in my mess.

"Hey, hey….fuck…hey, are you okay? Hey can you hear me?"

I coughed, clearing the rest of the bitter mixture from my throat.

"Here, come on…" Hidan started lifting me. I hadn't the strength to move. As he lifted me I felt pain burst in my gut and I cried out. "It's okay…fuck…" Hidan had me out of the shower and grabbed the towels. He wrapped one around me while trying to hold me up. I tried supporting myself but my feet slid from under me. "Here," he eased me onto the floor and wrapped the other towel around me.

"Hidan…"He waited a moment for me to continue, but I hadn't the vigor or the cognition.

"What was all that? Do you want me to go get help?"

I shook my head.

"Do you want some water or something?"

I nodded.

"Okay," he stood up and left to grab one of the glasses. He rinsed it in the sink then filled it. "Here."

I nodded and took the glass. Slowly I drank a small amount. "Thank you. I think I need to go."

"Um, yea…so are you gonna be okay?"

"Yea, I'm fine." I stood up slowly and walked over to get my clothes. Hidan watched me put hem on. I waved slowly as I left, walking slowly to my room.

When can I just feel normal again?

…

"So you are sure about this?"

"Yea, it is what Nagato wanted. He is doing all he can to not allow Sasuke to find out for as long as possible."

"I see, well I will provide as much assistance as possible. But you are aware that the procedure cannot be done immediately, it would have to wait till the child is older. Also you should come in tomorrow for a check-up. You're pretty far along and you should really be seen."

"Yea," I pushed my hair behind my ear "that would be a good idea." I laid my hand on my belly, it had been a long time since Kakuzu checked me out and he wasn't even very familiar with prenatal care.

"Good, you can come by anytime. I'm still caring for Deidara so I will be there all day."

"How is he by the way?"

"Much better, he was conscious last time I was there. The antidote turned out successful and luckily there will not be surgery necessary. He should be able to leave soon."

"That's good," Deidara always struck me as a kid who just needed to be pointed in the right direction. He needed something constructive to put his energy and talents towards. It would be sad to see him die so young.

"Okay, well I have an apartment set up for you. Here are directions to it and your key."

"Thank you," I stood up. "I'll come and see you tomorrow; you look like you need some rest yourself."

"Hah, well I'll see you tomorrow."

I walked out the door and down the hall. Luckily from the instructions the apartment wasn't far away. In the back of my mind I wondered where Zabuza was right now. It was nice talking to someone who I could actually make a conversation with. He was probably home with his son, again I touched my stomach. I quietly couldn't wait to deliver my baby…Nagato's baby. I wonder if Tsunade could tell me the sex tomorrow, I still had no idea what gender my child would be.

When I walked through the door I noticed how meagerly the apartment was furnished. A chair in the corner of the den, a small table next to it, another table in the kitchen with two chairs, I walked into the bedroom and found a bed, a small upright dresser and a bedside table with a lamp. Connected to the bedroom was the bathroom. Four rooms total, it was more than enough.

As I let the water run over me, relaxing in its warmth, I tried to imagine that Nagato would pull through this, that he could kill Sasuke…or Orochimaru, whichever he was by now…and bring the Akatsuki back to full and rightful power. It was a long shot, but with help from Konoha and their allies, which have grown in numbers, I believe it can be done.


	24. Duty

So he really is okay. I watched the young man complaining to his companion, which was none other than Kisame, about how he wasn't really hungry. Remembering how he was brought in barely hanging on to life I had to hold back laughing at his pompous behavior.

Fuyu poked my elbow and I turned away from the scene.

"Daddy, what is that?"

"It's a shrimp, you like shrimp."

He frowned, "why does it have a little tail?"

I peered into his bowl. Sure enough they left the tails on; I would always remove them for Fuyu so he wouldn't eat them by accident.

"Do you want me to take it off for you?" He nodded. I scooped out the little shrimp, putting them back in after pulling off the tail, making sure I got all of the shell off as well. "There, all gone."

"Thank you," Fuyu went back to eating his ramen.

I turned back to Deidara and Kisame. Kisame waved someone over. It was Konan. I watched them greet each other than move to sit at the ramen bar where we were. When Kisame saw me he waved.

"Zabuza-kun, I didn't even see you there!"

"Could you stop that, we aren't kids anymore."

"Hm, I know. Old habits die hard I suppose. How about 'kohai' then since I did graduate before you."  
"We aren't in school either."

"There is just no pleasing you is there?" He sat down on my right; there was only one seat on that side so Konan and Deidara moved to sit next to Fuyu.

"Oh, is this your son?" Konan looked down at Fuyu who had noodles hanging out of his mouth.

"Yea this is Fuyu." Kisame leaned to look around me.

"Huh…I didn't know you had a kid."

Konan studied the stool for a second, probably debating on whether or not she could fit before sitting down. Deidara flopped himself into the stool to her left, resting his chin moodily on his palm.

"The food looks good here, smells good too." Konan picked up a menu and started reading it.

"I have shrimp." Fuyu had managed to swallow and look up at her.

"Really, is it good?" He nodded, "I'll have shrimp then."

She smiled warmly at him, it was then I wondered if Fuyu needed a mother in his life. Obviously his biological mother wasn't going to be there, but, despite my annoyance towards relationships in general, maybe I should consider finding someone as a female presence for him. In the Land of Waves he had Tsunami babysitting him while I was working, but something told me things would be different if I tried going back.

"So what are you going to have, Deidara-chan?"

"I told you I'm not hungry, I just want to go home."

"Come on, I'm buying and Lady Tsunade said you should keep up your strength for a full recovery."

Deidara grumpily laid his chin on the counter, letting his hair nearly curtain his whole face from view. "Whatever."

"Okay, um one shrimp ramen for the lady, a beef ramen for me, and how about your smallest kimchi ramen for the brat on the end?"

"I don't like kimchi!" Deidara sat up and scowled."

"Then what do you want princess?"

Deidara continued to glare at him for a moment before answering. "I'll have shrimp too."

"There, that's better. Another shrimp ramen for Deidara."

The man nodded and went to prepare the bowls.

"So what have you been up to?"

"Nothing lately. Just adjusting to living here I suppose."

"Yea, I know what you mean. It's been forever since I lived in a village, in the Akatsuki we don't get out much unless we are on missions."

"I kind of figured, the hideout had sort of a sheltered feel to it."

"Yea, I don't think Konan ever left."

I nodded, which was followed by a slightly uncomfortable silence. Their food came and Fuyu was looking sleepy so I said my goodbyes and started walking back to our apartment.

When we got there I started getting Fuyu ready to go to bed, my mind never leaving my thought from earlier. Do I really know what is best for him?

…

Avoidance.

That is the best way to deal with things like this.

Avoid Sasuke because…well, he wasn't my Sasuke any more. And avoid Hidan because I didn't want to deal with what we did. I had no feelings for him; I just don't have a reasonable excuse for what happened. This had worked until now.

I ignored the knock on my door; thinking whoever it was would just go away. When they knocked twice I closed my eyes, still hoping they would leave. But when Hidan spoke I knew I couldn't avoid this anymore.

"Suigetsu I know you are in there, I've wanted to talk to you but that can wait for later."

I sighed, got up, put on my cloak and walked to the door. I opened it as painfully slow as possible.

"Fuck kid…you look like shit." I rolled my eyes. "Anyways, Sasuke sent me to get you."

"Okay," damn it appears I can't avoid either of them today.

Hidan and I walked down the hallway leisurely. Neither of us liked this new Sasuke, even if Hidan was unfamiliar with the old one. When we reached Sasuke's quarters I let Hidan open the door.

On the floor lay a young man. It looked like he had put up a fight, but still ended up dead. I recognized him as one or Orochimaru's subordinates. I looked up at Sasuke and my heart nearly stopped. Hi eyes…they weren't his eyes. I found myself looking into the face of the snake who had imprisoned me so long ago.

He smiled at me, a snake's smile. His face was unearthly pale…my lover was gone.

Everything was cold and dark. I couldn't tell if I was drifting through water or falling to my death.

"Dad…"

No answer.

"Daddy?"

He glanced over at me then looked away. He was looking across the room, at the pictures on the wall. Specifically at Mangetsu.

"Mom?" I turned to my mother; she had given up at making dinner, leaning against the counter looking out the window. "Mom?"

"Dinner will be done soon Sui," I looked at the pot; the stove hadn't even been turned on.

"I'm going to bed, mom."

"Good night sweetie."

She didn't look at me.

I walked up the stairs slowly. I stopped outside my room. The door was open and I looked inside. Perhaps it is just a childhood mannerism, but my room was always too terrifying to enter at night. Even at twelve years old it disturbed me.

I continued walking.

Mani's room. I looked down the hall to make sure my parents weren't coming then opened the door. I entered quickly and closed the door fast and silent. I walked over to the bed, knowing its exact location in the dark by now. I climbed in and pulled the blankets over my head.

-What's wrong, did you have a bad dream again?-

"Yea" I pulled my legs to my chest, feeling the cold emptiness beside me. "I dreamed you died."

Stars, trees, clouds, the moon…the full moon. I sat up and looked over. Hidan was burning something that looked disgustingly like a body.

"Where are we?"

"I dunno…some ten miles from the hideout."

"What are you doing?"

"Destroying Kabuto's body, so no one can track him down."

"Oh," I looked back at the sky. "So what did Sasuke want?"

"We are on a mission." Hidan looked at me. "We are going to Konoha."


	25. Begin

"Konoha? A mission? What the hell are you talking about?"

I finished up and stood. "I'll explain the details later. Essentially an inside correspondence has informed Sasuke of an opportunity that cannot be missed and we need to act immediately."

"An insider? Who is it?"

"I don't know, Sasuke didn't say."

Suigetsu looked discomforted, but I ignored him and he asked no further questions. I just wanted to get this over with. I picked up the items Sasuke had given me for the mission, secured in a bag, and we left.

…

"Are you positive? Why would they choose now to take action?"

"I have one theory, perhaps the former members that have joined us have not exactly left. There is a great possibility that there is at least one spy among them."

"You interviewed them yourself, my lady. And they were seen by the head of Black Ops and by the head of interrogation. I doubt Ibiki would have missed anything."

"I' just saying that it is the most likely scenario. I trust you Kakashi, possibly more than anyone in Konoha, I want you to keep an eye on them while we reinforce our borders."

"Yes my lady," I agreed, but I was not convinced that Itachi, Konan, Kisame or Deidara were connected to the two members spotted near a small town near the border of the Land of Fire.

I walked immediately to the ANBU headquarters and then to the cellblock.

Itachi sat, as always, on the bed with his legs crossed and his eyes closed.

"Itachi, I need to talk with you."

He opened his eyes and looked at me blankly.

"Once again I apologize for how long it is taking to arrange your release. The elders refuse to listen to anything Tsunade and I say. Without their consent we cannot view the evidence you say exists."

"I know," he smoothly uncrossed his legs and stood up, "but that isn't why you are here is it?"

Standing a mere three feet from me I saw how ill he was. Even with care from the ANBU medics, he was dying. "Are you eating?"

"That is not why you came either."

I sighed, "What is the chance that one of the people who came with you is a spy?"

Itachi crossed his arms and sized me up for a minute. "I don't think any of them are. Kisame definitely not, he left because he wanted to remain with me. The Akatsuki was of no meaning to him. Konan was dismissed by the leader, which would raise suspicion directed at her, but she wouldn't. Nagato is sincere in trying to save her and her child, he would ask her to do something so risky and she would take no orders from anyone but Nagato. Deidara…" he lowered his brow. "I've never been able to figure why he joined us. Deidara is in things for himself, unless he was offered something that would benefit him, he wouldn't do it."

"And if he had a motive, his jutsu would be more than effective to wipe out a large area."

"What do you know?"

I looked behind me, the guard was a ways away, but I stepped closer to the bars. "Two men were spotted near the border of the country. Near where we gather the Akatsuki hideout is. They are heading in this direction. We believe an attack on the village is underway."

Itachi nodded and put all of this together.

"So you say that Kisame and Konan are fine, but if there is one to be suspected it is Deidara correct?"

"Yes," Itachi still looked troubled.

"I need to leave now. There is a gathering that will be held in two days. There I will try to convince the elders again to release the information on the Uchiha massacre."

He nodded and turned around without saying anything more. I watched him sit down again and close his eyes.

As I left I turned to the guard. "Hey, can you make sue he is being taken proper care of?"

"We are doing all we can for him."

I nodded and left. I was positive Itachi was telling the truth. I was sure that he wasn't completely guilty of the massacre and also that none of the former Akatsuki members were spies.

But why would the Akatsuki make a move? What was the motive? One thing I knew, I had to make sure Naruto stayed in the village and was not informed on any of this. He was a short fuse and would likely do something drastic.

These are troubled times.

…

A girl.

My little girl.

I stood in front of the mirror in my bathroom, fresh out of the shower. I viewed my belly, my hand caressing it slowly.

I want a family, as every woman at one point or another does. I have a child; Tsunade placed the due date a little under two weeks from today. I smiled with the excitement.

I wrapped a towel around myself and walked out into my bedroom. Tsunade had given me plenty of money to buy things I would need. A crib, baby clothes, some new clothes for myself, bottles, binkies, blankets, pillows, a sling for making carrying my daughter easier.

I dried myself and changed into a dress I had bought myself. It was pale purple and designed especially for pregnant women. It seemed silly to buy something to wear for only a couple weeks, but I felt better in a new change of clothes and especially maternity ones. I felt…normal?

I smiled at myself as I slipped on my shoes. What was normal? Was it living with my parents as a child? Fitting into society? People still looked at me as a stranger in the village, but they were all very friendly.

I left, out for a walk. The sun and sweet scented breeze here was comforting. I walked to a path I had become familiar with. It followed a river, running through a series of small hills before disappearing into the woods. I walked and breathed in the fresh air.

It was a warm day and as I walked along the river I would see children playing along its shore. After I hadn't seen any kids for a while, I began letting my thoughts drift. I let myself imagine both if Nagato could once again restore the Akatsuki properly, and if he died, like he was so convinced he would.

My thoughts were interrupted when the sound of a child playing retuned. I looked and recognized the little boy immediately. I waved to Fuyu and his father, who sat watching him under a tree.

"Hello," I walked over to Zabuza who nodded to me, not taking his eyes off of his son for more than a second. "It's a pretty nice day isn't it?"

"Yea, kinda too warm for my liking."

"Really? It isn't very warm really." I looked up at the sky; small white clouds dotted the blue atmosphere.

"Well, I've always preferred cooler weather."

"Hm, I suppose being from the Mist and all that would be normal." I continued to watch the sky, not really trying to think of anything else to say, I just didn't really what to leave just yet.

"So what are you up to?  
"Just taking a walk, the day looked so inviting I couldn't pass it up."

"Hm…" I looked back down at him. Zabuza had his elbows resting on his knees, his hands folded in front of his face, watching Fuyu play on the bank.

I sat down next to him. Finally Zabuza took his eyes off of his son for a little bit longer. He looked me over for a moment, his dark eyes resting on my face for a moment before returning to Fuyu.

"So when are you having the baby?"

"A little under two weeks."

He nodded, "Do you mind me asking who the father is?"

"No," I didn't answer right away. Thinking about this, what if telling him was a bad idea? What if Nagato died? What if he refused to associate with me to protect our child? "I left him behind."

Zabuza had no answer, he just continued watching Fuyu. The little boy was stacking stones along the water's edge. Making a wall or a castle or a bridge, something children do I suppose. They always have big dreams to fill.

I then remembered that Zabuza had told me about Fuyu's mother abandoning their son with him. "I guess I'm in the same boat as you." He looked at me without moving anything but his eyes. It was a very intense look, yet his eyes were peaceful. "I mean, you were left with Fuyu and I'm now left with my daughter…I'm sorry, I guess that was rude. I'm just trying to make conversation."

He stared at me for so long I decided to turn and watch Fuyu. The boy had abandoned his structure and was now picking small flowers in the grass nearby. Zabuza moved, he leaned back against the trunk of the tree.

"A daughter huh? Congratulations," he looked back at me in the same way he did back at the hideout. I turned away, damning my heart for being so easily stimulated.

"Thank you," I couldn't think of anything to say and I didn't dare turn back because I could still feel his eyes on me.

Luckily Fuyu came running up with a fistful of wildflowers.

"Here," He held them out to me.

"Thank you," I held them gingerly.

"Do you want to go home now Fuyu? Its getting to be near lunch time."

"Can we eat somewhere today?"

"Hm," Zabuza looked at him for a minute. Fuyu stuck out his lip in an attempt to look as pitiful as possible. "I suppose, but dad's getting a little low on money."

"Yay," Fuyu threw his arms around his father's neck.

Zabuza looked over at me, "Do you want to come?"

"It's okay, I think I..."

"No, please come, please!" Fuyu turned towards me and tried his little begging technique.

"Well, looks like you cannot refuse now."

I smiled, "okay, lunch it is."


	26. Fragility

I woke up, remembering where I was after a moment of confusion. I rolled over and looked at the time; six twenty-one. I got up and walked out of the bedroom and into the living room. I was as quiet as I could be since I could hear Zabuza sleeping. I walked up behind the sofa and looked down at him. I tried not to smile…he was in his boxers.

After dinner we came back to his apartment. After putting Fuyu to bed we just sat on the couch and talked till I could barely keep my eyes open. He offered me his bed and I gladly accepted, even though I felt a little bad about leaving him on the couch.

Without really knowing why and before processing my thought completely I reached down and poked the sleeping figure in the ribs. Zabuza flinched and slowly opened his eyes. I laughed and waved playfully.

"Good morning."

"Hey," he sat up. "What time is it?"

"Around six twenty-five or so." I walked around and sat next to him.

"Do you mind if I take a quick shower…then I could make breakfast?"

"Go ahead, I'm not going anywhere."

He nodded and got up. I shamelessly watched him walk down the hall…was it wrong of me? Nagato had…dismissed me. I held one purpose in our relationship and that had nothing to do with love or devotion, only a staple in our pursuit of peace. I loved him, I still did. But the fact was that our fates were now split. We were not expected to see each other ever again.

Was it then wrong that I had found someone new to give my affection to so soon? I didn't want to admit I had fallen in love so quickly, I tagged myself as stronger than that. Then again my love has seen a hard road. I had never thrown my feelings around gaily as many girls do. The few I had loved; my parents, Yahiko, Nagato, Master Jiraiya, all are gone. I have no one left to love but the child within me. But even that love brings pain; she will be Nagato's daughter. He told me to protect her, to ensure she would lead the world to peace. And because of her existence, Nagato no longer saw the need for his own; this has caused me much misery.

In inference, I am still left with my love channeled towards nothing.

Without love a person will wilt and whither, dying all alone.

So was it wrong my heart has leapt on the chance to bind itself to another so quickly after being abandoned?

I closed my eyes…my head hurt. Headaches weren't unusual but they just made my mood a little worse.

…

"Leave me alone," I shrugged Hidan's hand away.

He smirked and stood up. I continued sitting, watching the river flow by. I was tying my best to not let him get any ideas; I didn't want this to become a 'thing'.

"Well we should get going. We need to be there tonight and it is noon already."

"We don't have much farther to go."

"Know the area well, do you?"

I glared at him, he was bluffing and it annoyed me. Even if he had made any connection between me and the Leaf, he wasn't going to do anything about it. I knew his type. He held loyalties to no one, telling Sasuke or Nagato-san wouldn't be amusing enough for him. "Whatever" I stood up and faced Hidan.

He stared at me for a moment then turned; picking up the bag that Sasuke had given him. Apparently it was necessary for the mission, though he hadn't disclosed to me what exactly was in there. To be honest, I was hoping he wouldn't.

…

"Have you been able to locate the Akatsuki members' position?"

"No, Sai and I are gathering as much information as we can though. Two small towns reported seeing two men dressed in dark cloaks. Both are within a days trek from Konoha."

"Hmm…this could be a problem. It is possible they are just more ex-members trying to join Itachi and the rest, but it doesn't feel that way does it?"

"No, they are being much too covert about this. I believe they are trying to get into the village with as little warning as possible. Things could be for the worse."

Tsunade nodded and stared intently at her desk, as if it held the answers to all of the nation's problems.

"Konan mentioned that the Akatsuki may attack because of her position, but she is certain it would not be for a while. She said once the current leader dies is when they would come…let us hope that has not come so soon. I nodded though I had no idea what she meant by 'her position.'

"Yamato, I want you and Sai to present this information at the meeting tomorrow. A possible attack might just sway the elders to disclose the documents concerning the Uchiha massacre, thus freeing Itachi if he is telling the truth."

"Yes my Lady."

"You are dismissed."

I left meeting Sai outside. I trusted him not to tell Naruto or Sakura about the recent Akatsuki movement. And now if he told Danzo about the possible attack, it didn't matter. The Hokage wanted him to know, Tsunade believes this new information would light an uneasy fire under the stubborn elders.

"Sai, I am going to leave it to you to present the information on the Akatsuki tomorrow."

He nodded. I wanted Sai to have this experience. He was a flourishing shinobi; his talents ensured much was expected from him. Even such a little thing as this would help him along that path.

"Why don't you go home and prepare the report."

"Yes sir," he left, walking down the emptying street. I remained standing there for a while, watching the shadows grow slowly longer and the sky drifting to a picturesque sunset.

…

A whole day gone by? I hardly noticed its passing.

Most of the day was spent by the river or walking through the woods. Fuyu enjoyed the outdoors enough to give Konan and me some quiet time.

That was all we needed.

We hadn't engaged in conversation all day, just remained in comfortable silence by each other's sides. Walking back to my apartment, Konan had tentatively placed her hand on my arm. After an almost awkward second she wrapped her slender arm around mine, placing her delicate fingers gingerly on the bare flesh of my bicep.

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

She remained silent for a while. Slowly she looked up at me, her every movement seemed over exaggerated in my mind. "Not yet."

I looked down into her eyes, every bit of me still seeing part of her as the strict and authoritative right hand of the Akatsuki vanished. She was just a human. She wasn't immune to sorrow, longing, she had needs and had no one to meet them. And this void she had, for reasons I will never understand, she decided I fit agreeably.

When we got to my apartment I gave Fuyu a bath and saw him to bed, like the day before. Then I went our and sat on the couch with her.

"Do you want to talk about anything?" I had no idea what to say, I hoped she did.

"No…" She stared distantly foreword. "I'm sorry, my mind has been anything but clear lately."

That was understandable; she had no need to apologize. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"I don't know…" she closed her eyes, a small tear escaping.

I put my arm around her shoulders slowly. She remained deathly still for a second then relaxed, leaning into my chest. I could feel my heart beating beneath her ear. Konan took a deep breath, as if she had finally let all the thoughts go. I leaned foreword, moving automatically, and placed a kiss on her head.

My face remained there, breathing in her hair. Konan smelt like rain in the spring. It reminded me of the house by the ocean. When I was young my family would go there for a few weeks at a time. In the spring wildflowers would sprout up in the coarse off-shore. And when it rained the smell filled the house. My mother said it was the smell of happiness. That the flowers were happy to be back and were thanking the rain with their sweet scent.

I stayed there for what felt like ages. We remained like that till Konan's breath grew soft and slow. Reluctantly I sat up and gazed down at her sleeping form. Slowly, cautious of her condition, I moved her into my arms. As I stood her eyes opened. Silently I walked into the bedroom and laid her down. I at there for a minute, watching her watch me.

Slowly she sat up.

"You can sleep over here again, it's really late and you should probably get some sleep."

"Yea," She looked away.

"Goodnight," I tuned and stood. I walked into the bathroom, stripping to my underwear before walking into the living room.

"Zabuza," Konan was standing in the hallway.

"Did you need something?"

She walked foreword, her head down. She pressed her forehead to my chest when she reached me, he belly pressing against mine. I touched her shoulder comfortingly.

"Are you okay, Konan?"

"No…" She looked up at me.

In the dark her pale face glowed. I touched her cheek, wiping away a tear. She slipped a willowy arm around my neck and I leaned down. I guess the unconscious though occurred to us at the same instant. When our lips met we both froze for a moment. It was the smallest, sweetest of kisses. She pulled away and looked up at me for a long time. In time we moved back to my bed. I lay there trying not to think, fearing it would ruin this. She had fallen asleep almost as soon as we had lain down, my arm around her. She was awake only long enough to lace her fingers with mine. Slowly I drifted into sleep, the scent of happiness filling me.

…

"Ha! I still cannot believe that that was their reinforced borders! Konoha isn't accustomed to war."

"Just shut up and get this over with."

I looked at Suigetsu as I finished and stood up. He had his arms crossed and stared out the window in the cupola above us. The moon lit his pale face…if it weren't for the fact he was standing someone might have mistaken him for a corpse.

"Well stop bitching, I'm done."

He turned and looked at the chairs set behind the podium. "I can't believe Sasuke thinks such a simple trap will work."

"It's so simple, I think it would. Anything more intricate would catch their attention, this would slip by. As I said, Konoha isn't accustomed to war."

He met my eyes. He studied me for a moment before turning back around. "Fine then, let's go."

We left, walking boldly through the empty streets and into the forest. Not far in we stopped and sat down. Suigetsu closed his eyes and leaned against a mossy tree. I wanted to touch him, but I knew he would only get upset. For whatever reason he has been rejecting me. I guess he is more into one time flings…unfortunately.

"Suigetsu," I reached into the bag Sasuke had given me. It was nearly empty; I pulled out the last item. "You will need this for your part of the mission." I passed him a short sword.

"What is this for," he surveyed the markings on the hilt and blade.

"You have the most important job."


	27. Mission in Motion

"I hope it is no trouble."

"None at all, really!" Iruka smiled and held Fuyu's hand. "I have nothing to do on these days off anyways, and you have such a good son."

"Thank you, I should be going then." I knelt down and kissed the tip of Fuyu's nose. "I'll be back later."

"Bye daddy," he waved.

I stood up and left. I really didn't get why I had to be at this meeting. Sure, I was an inside voice to the Akatsuki, but Kakashi had gotten all he really could from me. Kisame, Konan, Deidara and Itachi were much better sources. What was the point? I didn't get it, but I obeyed. The sooner this was all over the better. I only hope Kakashi decides he's done with me sooner rather than later.

"Hi," Konan was waiting with Kisame and Deidara. She smiled at me and quietly took my hand as I stepped beside her.

"Ugh…WHY do I have to go to this? It's stupid…"

"If you didn't want to help you should have stayed behind instead of following."

Deidara looked balefully at Kisame past his hair. "Well maybe I don't want either."

…

We stepped inside. I hated that Itachi was left in that cell, he should be here more than any of us.

We sat down in the second row. I was on the end, Deidara between Konan and I, and Zabuza next to Konan. It would appear that they were rather fond of each other. Well they were both single parents, birds of a feather flock together…I think that is the appropriate saying.

It took a while for the room to fill. Deidara slid down in his chair moodily. He was a fussy kid, which was as annoying as it was adorable. Lastly, the chairs in the front of the room were filled with old men and women and the Hokage. When everyone was settled the Hokage stood and approached the podium.

"Thank you all for attending this meeting. Konoha has seen many troubled times…:

Deidara sighed and leaned his head back and closed his eyes. I refrained from telling him to sit up; this was pretty boring after all.

"The Akatsuki have become more active than usual, this is disquieting obviously. Recently two current members were witnessed not far from Konoha's borders. Sai, a chuunin from ANBU foundation has the details."

Tsunade stepped aside and took her seat, giving the podium to a boy. He was pretty young, then again shinobi grow up fast.

He started talking, but I didn't hear him. Deidara's eyes widened and he became very still. Everything seemed to flow unearthly slow. Deidara sat up and tuned, his hair flicking across his face. I turned to look up into the window above us as he turned to the front of the room. I barely caught the corner of black fabric before it was gone. Deidara turned back, partially standing as he did so. He grabbed Konan's arm and pulled her onto the floor. Zabuza turned in confusion and our eyes met.

Instinct kicked in and we acted instantaneously.

"DOWN!" I could barely get the word out, Zabuza taking the time to drop to the floor, covering Konan's head.

The explosion wasn't very big…I have definitely witnessed bigger. It was an assassination so I suppose it doesn't have to be big. Even so the people in the front row received pretty bad injuries right away while several people further back were bruised and cut by shrapnel. I had been blown to the floor, a piece of wood clipping me just above my eye.

…

This is ridiculous! Kakashi-sensei is OBVOUSLY hiding something from us yet I'm the only one who appears to be concerned.

Until now.

Finally, Sakura asked me to meet her. She said it was important.

We were meeting in the Uchiha reservation. She didn't say where but such a place told me only one thing. Finally she was willing to take action concerning Sasuke!

I stepped through the gate slowly. I walked down the vacated streets, looking in every direction for Sakura.

Finally I spotted her.

"Sakura," She turned and smiled.

"Naruto, thank goodness you came!" She was standing on a short dock that went about twelve feet over a lake.

"Of course I came," I stood beside her. "What did you need to talk about?"

"I'm sure you know," she looked back across the lake.

Something was wrong. I looked behind me quickly. I swear I could feel a strange chakra near by.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," I turned back.

There it was.

As my fist collided with her face the jutsu broke. The boy caught himself on the surface of the lake. He looked up at me coldly.

"You're a bit quicker than I anticipated."

"Yea, and you're pretty dumb for an Akatsuki member…there's no way I could be fooled by a simple jutsu like that!"

"Hm," He straitened up and looked me over slowly.

I stepped onto the lake. "What the hell are you doing here?"

No answer.

One thing was for sure, this guy was in the Akatsuki which meant he might know where Sasuke is. "Tell me, do you know where Uchiha Sasuke is?"

He looked surprised for a second then he glared at me through his white-blue bangs. "Uchiha Sasuke is dead."

Dead?

"I don't believe you!"

"Hm," he smiled cockily.

I've had enough! I rushed at him, kunai in my hand almost instantaneously. He dodged me with ease and moved to punch the back of my head. I jumped out of the way and threw the kunai at him. He dodged and stepped foreword to punch again.

So he uses mostly taijutsu? It was hard to tell with the robe on, but his frame looked slight. I could definitely beat him in strength but his speed was obviously better.

He rushed at me again, this time using both hands. I struggled to block his fists and suddenly he kicked me in the face. I fell backwards, my cheek stinging.

I got up quickly to see he had thrown off his cloak and his hand was on the hilt of a short sword at his waist.

"Ninjutsu too huh?"

He glared straight at me, his mouth partially open revealing pointed teeth. He reminded me of someone I couldn't really put my finger on at the moment. It didn't really matter I suppose.

He pulled out the sword and cam at me again. He had already slowed down; apparently his speed could only keep up with his stamina for a short while. I blocked him easier and landed a hit. When my fist collided with his stomach he dropped the blade and almost fell into the water. He doubled over in pain, a lot more than I thought I had administered. This guy must be pretty weak.

Suddenly he let himself drop into the lake. I considered following but watched instead. He swam to the bottom and retrieved the blade.

Then vanished from view.

…

I sat up and looked around me, surveying the chaos in a moment. I looked down at Konan. Her face was frozen in a wince, her arm over Deidara. She seemingly realized what was happening as he grabbed her and tried sheltering him instead of visa-versa.

"Uhnn…" Konan doubled over, her hand on her stomach.

"Are you okay?"

"I…I think it's coming," She kept one hand on her belly, the other gripped Deidara's shoulder. "Yea, that did it."

"Shit," I stood up and looked around. No one could help. Those who hadn't evacuated were either injured or helping those who were injured. I spotted Yamato checking the bodies of the elders and the Hokage in vain. Kakashi was trying to talk to the boy who had been giving the report on the Akatsuki's movements. I walked over to him.

"Kakashi, we need some help."

He looked up at me, "what is it?"

"Konan is…"

It took a moment but he got it. "Stay here and try to keep him conscious till the medic squad arrives. I'll see to Konan."

I wanted to go to her side but I knelt down next to the boy instead. I looked at him for the first time. He was laying face-down, his eyes barely open. The injuries I saw were all burns, up his legs, back and arms but the explosion had most likely broken a few bones.

"Hey," I had no clue what I was supposed to say. In Kiri a shinobi in this condition was abandoned on missions, occasionally you would stop long enough to put them out of their misery but the mission held ultimate seniority. "Stay awake okay? The medics will be here any second, you'll be fine." I moved some of his hair out of his face.

His gaze moved to look at me. The Hokage…the late Hokage…had introduced him as a chuunin from the ANBU foundation, the training school especially for black ops. Even so I saw fear in his eyes. I tried not to look away, it was disturbing.

"You'll be okay, I promise."


	28. Mission Cleared

"Ha, perfect. Dumb fucks never saw it coming." I leapt off the building and listened with relish to the disorder I had just created.

I left to find Suigetsu; hopefully he was as successful as I was by now. Konoha was boring, I needed a more stimulating environment…maybe Sui would finally stop snubbing me.

I grinned and headed towards the side of the village he would be at.

…

Damn it, how did I lose him?

I spun around and searched the clear water frantically. I was about to go in when he showed up.

Everything felt like it took ages to conspire. I turned and met him jumping from the water. I had just pulled my arm back, ready to strike when I felt a sharp, deep pain in my side.

I couldn't move.

As I fell back into the water, my gaze went to my abdomen. Just below my ribs on the right side the hilt from my opponent's sword protruded.

That's when I noticed.

The markings on the hilt, it was obviously a seal. How could I have not noticed earlier? Sometimes I can be so stupid.

I felt his arm around me. I was pulled back to the surface. Panting and coughing the young shinobi pulled me to shore.

When he laid me down I tried moving again. It was in vain. This was a strong seal; if he made it then perhaps he was better than I had thought.

The boy knelt beside me coughing and holding his stomach. Suddenly he vomited.

I watched, unable to move or look away, as he choked and convulsed, blood covering his lips. There was no way that was from when I hit him

He must be sick or something, or previously injured. No wonder he wore out so fast.

Suddenly the shadow of another person was over him. After collecting himself he turned to look and quickly tried to stand.

About time…there's no way he could make it off with me that easy!

"Relax, I'm with Orochimaru."

Damn it!

"You are Suigetsu, correct?"

"Yea," Suigetsu sat back down slowly.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine…where's Hidan?"

"Here actually," Hidan! What is he doing back? "So I see you secured the nine tails. Good, I want to leave…who the hell are you?"

"You can call me Tetsuya; I am a subordinate of Orochimaru."

"Uh-huh…must be the inside informant Sasuke mentioned."

Inside informant? A spy in Konoha. I tried to move my head to see this traitor but found it impossible. I wanted to place his voice but it was hard, though I feel like I know it.

"Yes…I suppose we better leave then."

The stranger moved into my view, holding out his hand for Suigetsu. He had shoulder-length brown hair, but this was essentially my only clue as to who it might be for he wore a mask that covered all but the very end of his nose and his mouth. Emblazoned on the mask was the symbol for the sound ninja, a village made by Orochimaru.

"I'm fine." Suigetsu stood on his own and walked out of my sight.

Hidan grabbed me roughly by my jacket and flopped me over his shoulder. I didn't want to despair…but the situation couldn't be any worse.

…

Finally the medic squad arrived. When they took over beside the boy I was watching I stood and walked over to where Konan, Kakashi, Kisame and Deidara were gathered. Konan was breathing heavy but her face was calm. Kakashi was on the radio with what I assumed was the hospital while Deidara and Kisame sat by. Konan's hand was still on Deidara's shoulder.

"Hey, we need some help outside! Some home have been attacked, several are burning down!"

My mind went instantly to my son. He could be in danger.

"Are you okay Konan, I need to go find Fuyu."

"I'll be fine; we're moving me to the hospital as soon as they can. Go find your son."

I nodded and left, running down the streets past confused and frightened villagers. When I reached his apartment I ran straight through the door which was hanging off its hinges.

"Fuyu!" I looked around. There was furniture broken and scattered. "Fuyu!" I looked around, I thought I saw what looked like blood but tried not to take in what I could be.

"Daddy?"

I ran to his voice, it was faint but I picked it up instantly. Fuyu was peeking out of a cupboard in the kitchen, when he saw me he came running out. I picked him up and held him tight…I don't think I had ever been that scared in my life.

"Are you hurt? Where's Iruka-san?"

Fuyu sniffled into my shoulder. "He ran out…he told me to hide…he said something bad was happening and told me to hide and wait for you."

I looked around; there was a possibility that Iruka was dead. If so I wanted to get Fuyu away before he saw that. I left, holding my son's face to my chest protectively. Out on the street people were standing around in a daze, or running frantically past in one direction or the other.

I tried to get away from the crowds; I didn't want Fuyu more frightened than he already was. I was near the river when I saw them.

I knew Suigetsu instantly…it took a moment for me to remember Hidan and the other man I didn't know. Over Hidan's shoulder was one of Kakashi's kids…Naruto. As soon as I stopped, Suigetsu turned around and met my stare. When he stopped the other two turned around as well.

"Go, I'll take care of this."

"Whatever," Hidan and the other man continued into the forest.

Suigetsu walked towards me. He stopped a few feet from me and just stared silently.

"What the hell are you doing here? You are supposed to be spying on the Akatsuki…or have you turned your back to me so quickly?"

"This has nothing to do with you," Suigetsu crossed his arms defiantly. "You have no say in what I do…but no, I have not forgotten where I stand." He looked back over his shoulder, "keep your radio on. I will want to contact you soon."

"Why didn't you come when Kisame and the rest left?"

"I had to make sure…I had to get a little more information before I left."

He couldn't leave…he wasn't letting himself. He looked sick, I wanted to ask if he was ill but I refrained.

"You better get out of here before someone sees you," I turned away. "This won't look good if you really do plan on coming here." I left, I heard him sprint into the trees a moment later.


	29. Calm

"I am leaving you now."

"What, so soon?" Hidan's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Yes, I was instructed to return immediately once the nine tails was captured. Ahead of you two…do not worry, your efforts in the mission will be accounted for."

"Whatever," Hidan passed the immobile jinchuriki host to Tetsuya who vanished a moment later. "Fucker…did you hear him? 'Your efforts will be accounted for.' Bull fucking shit, arrogant ass." Hidan continued walking moodily and I followed a few paces behind.

"Hidan, do you think Sasuke is done with us?"

"Huh?" Hidan stopped and looked at me.

"I mean, we got the nine tails, what more does he need?"

"Well," Hidan leaned on his scythe, "for starters the nine tails isn't the last jinchuriki we need. And second of all, Nagato needs supplemental chakra to remove the jinchuriki from the host…so no, we aren't done yet."

"Maybe as a member of the Akatsuki…'officially'…you have insurance in this. But do you think they are done with me?"

Hidan looked at me for a long time. He was brash…not an idiot. I'm positive he knew my position in all of this.

"Listen…I don't know what the deal is between you and Sasuke-san, so I cannot really give a valid opinion. But I do know you have been in a bad way since your friend left. I'm guessing he was sort of a buffer between you two or something…"

"This has nothing to do with Zabuza-senpai; he was never really part of this. Sasuke was still…normal…at least mostly…when Zabuza was still with us. He just left at an inconvenient time…and even if he didn't things would have turned out the same."

"Okaaay," Hidan scratched his head. "I really have no fucking clue what you are asking me…"

"Yes you do!" Now he was pissing me off. "I'm not looking for false assurance or sympathy; I want to know if Sasuke and Nagato still need me. You've seen me, I can't expend more than minimal chakra at a time and even that is unstable," I pushed back tears, "I just want to know if I'm…necessary!"

Hidan sized me up for a moment, his brow furrowed. "No."

I sat down hard…I knew it all along. I crossed my arms over my chest, hugging myself, and pulled my knees up to meet them.

"Listen, Nagato will probably just send you on your way. Tell you that you aren't strong enough for all of this and that you need to be replaced. He's real fucking soft like that."

"It isn't up to him."

"It's up to Sasuke."

"No," I let the tears come, "Sasuke is gone…This is that bastard Orochimaru's doing."

"Orochimaru? How would he have anything to do with this?"

"He's taken over Sasuke. Sasuke just isn't there anymore."

"…I just kinda thought he was a creeper…whatever. But even so, he isn't the leader, Nagato is."

"Nevermind," I stood up slowly. "Let's just go."

…

"I SAID I DON'T KNOW!"

I looked at the door, "just let me talk to him!"

"I know I do not hold seniority here, but trust me this is the best option. If he were to say anything to anyone, don't you think it would be one of his companions?"

"Fine, wait here." The guard, an older ANBU who I believe I recognized from my days in the organization, went into the interrogation room. A minute later he reappeared. "You may go inside."

I nodded and walked through the door. I had only been in this room once before, merely watching an interrogation. I looked to the center of the room; Deidara was sitting in 'the chair', head down. Across the room from his stood Morino Ibiki, head of interrogation.

"Ibiki," he nodded, acknowledging me silently. I could feel his dark eyes on me as I walked over to Deidara. "Deidara-kun."

He looked up immediately, glaring at me past his bangs, he was obviously not taking this treatment very well.

"Do you know anything about this attack?"

He glanced past me at Ibiki, and then looked back cockily. "No…wish I had, that was a poorly executioned pyrotechnic attack."

"Deidara," I hissed, moving my face mere inches from his, my hand gripping his shoulder. "Don't say anything stupid…where you a part of this or not?"

"No," I examined his face. His pale hair stuck to his brow, I looked at his shoulder.

It was not unlike Ibiki to resort to extreme forms of interrogation so early on. I surveyed the contraption, designed specifically to cause pain. Barbs hooked through the muscles and tendons between you neck and shoulder, with the turn of a small knob they would move, separating the fibers of your muscle from itself.

I grabbed the device, releasing it then pulling it from Deidara's shoulder slowly. I threw it to the floor, casting an angry stare back at Ibiki.

I turned back to Deidara, my hand moving to his cheek, my other gripping his chin. I forced him to look directly at me, out noses nearly touching.

"Don't lie to me."

He swallowed, his cheeks turning pink. "I wouldn't…"

His azure eyes remained locked with mine steadily. I believed him.

"He knows nothing, let him go." I looked back at Ibiki who smirked at my words.

"I still don't believe him."

"HE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING!" Ibiki's stubbornness aggravated me. I turned and unfastened the band over Deidara's left wrist.

"I AM NOT DONE HERE!"

I felt Ibiki's strong hand on my shoulder, he pulled me back roughly and I stumbled to the floor.

Neither of us had noticed Deidara had wasted no time in unfastening the other strap and getting to his feet. Ibiki turned to be met with the younger shinobi's fist in his face. He caught Deidara's next swing effortlessly, Ibiki twisted his arm and I hear a snap that was most likely Deidara's wrist.

"Ah," Deidara pumped his knee up trying to get away but Ibiki was both stronger and more experienced, plus Deidara was a long-range fighter and could barely hold his own in a corporeal combat.

"Stop," I stood back up, this time trying to get Deidara to calm down. He was only making his situation worse. Ibiki took this as an advance on him and turned, his free hand grabbing my throat. I froze but he threw me back against the door.

The contact rattled my insides, causing fresh pain to course through me. I squeezed my eyes shut as I slid to the floor. I could hear Kakashi outside trying to let himself in. I let myself fall over, my face hitting the stone floor unforgivingly. I tasted blood in my mouth and felt the sick rising in me.

I forced my eyes open to the commotion still taking place. Deidara was forced back onto the chair with the injured hand back in the strap. He had his foot on Ibiki's chest, trying to push the man off of him while Ibiki twisted his other arm into the restraint. Deidara managed to slip his arm free before the clasp was done and delivered a cheap shot with his knee to Ibiki's groin. Ibiki growled and moved away only to deliver more force when he hit the blonde across the face. He had just managed to fasten in Deidara's limp arm when the door opened, hitting me on the back of the head.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and Kakashi turned me over. Yamato stepped over to me and stood authoritively next to Ibiki.

"You are excused to document the outcome of this interrogation…which is of course that Deidara was not aware of the attack on Konoha."

"Yes sir," Ibiki hissed between clenched teeth and left stiffly.

"Itachi, are you okay?" Kakashi pushed me up.

"Yes, thank you…I'll be fine."

Yamato unfastened the first strap but when he reached for the one restraining Deidara's newly injured wrist he stopped the captain.

"I've got it," He gingerly undid the clasp and pulled his arm to his chest.

Yamato examined his shoulder gently, "I'll get you two into the medics as soon as possible, but with the past events it might take a while. Will you be okay?"  
"Yea, it's just a little sore."

"And your wrist?"

"It's definitely broken…bastard."

Yamato nodded and offered a hand for Deidara to get up. Surprisingly he took it…must be out of it from having to put up that much of a fight while basically just getting thrown around. I stood up with Kakashi's help. The pain had subsided for now.

"Kakashi, do you have any news form the hospital?"

"No, but there weren't many sever injuries so it should be mostly clear by now."

"And," Deidara looked over at Kakashi, "how is Konan-sama doing?"

I looked at Kakashi, had something happened to her?

He smiled, "She's doing fine."

…

Do I go in? Would it be inappropriate if I did or would it be rude if I didn't? Plus Fuyu would have to stay out here and he's still pretty shaken up.

"Zabuza-kun, why don't you see how she is?"

"Um…"

"She's probably a little anxious in there all by herself. I can watch your kid," Kisame waved playfully at Fuyu who buried his face into my side.

"I don't know if I should."

"Hmm," Kisame sat back and crossed his arms behind his head, "whatever you say. How long has it been anyways about an hour? I don't really know how long these things take but she's a strong girl, probably almost over by now."

I tried not completing any of my thoughts, and luckily I was distracted by Kakashi, Yamato and Deidara. Deidara had his right wrist and hand wrapped and a sported a black eye.

"Didn't you get Itachi?"

"Yea, but I though he should be seen by a medic," Kakashi stopped in front of me despite talking to Kisame. Great, he needed to tell me something. "He is in room three twelve, he's okay I think, we are just being safe."

Kisame nodded and stood. He reached over and placed a hand on my shoulder, "Get me if anything happens, okay?"

I nodded. Once he left Deidara took his seat.

"So how is Konan?"

"I don't know…Kisame said they would tell us when it's all over."

Deidara nodded. Fuyu was staring at him, Deidara tried not to notice but I think it vexed him a little.

"What happened to your face?"

Deidara stared at Fuyu for a moment. "I hurt myself."

"How did you do that?"

"Some fucking asshole…" I smacked the back of his head, Fuyu giggled. "Ugh…some guy was being…rude and hit me." Deidara glared at me as he spoke.

"Oh…once I was running and I fell and I cut my knee. Want to see?"

Luckily Deidara didn't have to answer; a nurse approached us at that moment.

"Well, the baby was delivered safely and is healthy. Konan-san would like it if you would all come see her."


	30. A Time For

Konan looked tired. Her face was pale but she was smiling brightly. Wrapped up in a blanket was her newborn daughter. I stepped foreword first, Fuyu timidly peering around me. The baby had dark red, rather maroon hair. Her eyes were open, sees of aqua green on her alabaster face. She was really a very pretty baby. Konan held her to her chest, her slender finger in the babe's tiny fist.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Konan looked down at her child who had just shut her eyes.

"Yea."

Deidara came up and stood beside me. A look of indifference on his androgynous face. "She's Nagato's isn't she?"

Konan didn't answer; instead she swept her finder across the baby's smooth cheek.

"What is her name?"

"Reimei," Konan smiled and looked up at me.

"That's a beautiful name." I turned to Fuyu, "Do you want to see?" He looked up at me uncertainly. "Come here," I picked him up and let him look down at Reimei. "See?"

Fuyu squirmed around and pressed his face into my chest.

"He's being shy."

Konan smiled.

"I'm gonna go get Kisame-san." Deidara left.

I sat down on the chair next to the bed. Konan moved her hand and laid it palm-up on the bed. I smiled and placed mine over it, lacing our fingers together. It fit so perfectly like that.

…

"Kisame-san, you can go see Konan now."

Kisame stood up, "Really?"

"Yea, Zabuza is over there now."

"Okay, he just fell asleep anyways." Kisame stood up and cast a fond look back at Itachi. "Well, I'm going now," he placed his hand on my shoulder before leaving. It perplexed me how he could act like everyone was a good friend of his, yet still come off as such an intimidating shinobi.

He knew I was staying. After Kisame left I walked to his vacated seat. I stood there for a moment then sat on the edge of the bed.

I had never once imagined Itachi as being vulnerable. But here he was. Exhausted, beaten, his days numbered. I despised him for being so much stronger than me, his art of genjutsu so flawless, yet at the same time I am drawn to him. Itachi is beautiful. It would be an understatement to say I wanted him to be mine.

I watched him breathing as I gently placed my hand on his chest.

"Go away."

"And what if I don't?" Of course he was awake already. He didn't answer me so I leaned in closer, my lips a mere inch from his. "I said what if I don't?"

He opened his eyes yet still refused to answer me. Staring into those ebony pools so close made my face hot, I didn't want him to see I was blushing, nor notice my heart was beating quicker. My hair was draped perfectly around our faces; we were the only two beings in the whole universe. Slowly, giving him plenty of time to stop me, I closed the gap. His lip were soft as I would have imagined, and warm. Itachi smelt like stones, wet with rain or a river. It was a cold smell that sent shivers down my spine. He was letting me kiss him, but just as I let the tip of my tongue touch his lip he finally pushed me away.

"Don't do that," at least he didn't tell me to go away. He studied my face for what felt like years, his hand still on my shoulder. Suddenly he looked away, turning his face to the window.

"Itachi," bastard ignored me. I touched his hand, moving it from my shoulder to my cheek. I pressed my face into his palm, loving the feel of his skin. "Itachi, do you hate me?"

Finally he looked at me. His face was expressionless, probably the closest it got to confused. I was confused as well, why was I letting myself open like this? I was attracted madly to Itachi, but I still hated his self righteousness…probably because it challenged my own. Slowly I moved and laid myself beside him, my cheek on his shoulder. I was surprised to see a light blush cross Itachi's face. He turned away again, the slowly fading light illuminating his features.

Luckily Kisame shut the door because I fell asleep mere minutes before Itachi.

…

"I think I better head home."

Konan looked over at me sleepily. "Yea, he's been asleep for a while huh."

We both looked at Fuyu who was sleeping on my lap, his head resting on my arm which had long ago fallen asleep.

"Yea," I moved him gently, pulling my son to my chest then standing. "I'll come and see you tomorrow."

"Okay," Konan smiled.

I looked over at the sleeping child in the crib beside her bed. Reimei looked so peaceful there. Her little arms up by her head, her cheek pressed into the blanket under her, dark, long lashes resting on her plump cheek. I smiled, remembering when Fuyu was a baby. I had enjoyed it even if it was sudden and unexpected.

"Well, goodnight." I finally tore myself away from the beautiful scene and walked to the door.

"Zabuza," I paused, the door open and my foot out. I turned to her, for a minute I thought she wouldn't speak, that she was just going to sit there smiling. "I love you."


	31. A New Will

I'm not going to make it.

"Come on, its raining fuckin' harder now."

I wanted to tell him to just go, I am positive I will be dead within the hour, but I couldn't speak. I couldn't move, I remained frozen on my knees and elbows, my left hand at my mouth vainly catching the blood coming from my mouth only to have it drip to the ground and get washed into the dirt by the rain.

"Just get up; the hideout really isn't much farther."

Hidan grabbed my arm and tried to pull me up. The second I was moved intense pain shot through my abdomen. I heard myself cry out and felt my face fall into Hidan's chest before everything went black.

…

"Suigetsu?" I grabbed his chin, directing his pale face up at me. The rain ran over his still features, rinsing blood from his nose and mouth. "Shi-it," I needed to exaggerate my exclamation. Suigetsu was in a really bad way…and I'm not sure if I really care. I mean, I do kinda feel sorry for the kid, but at the same time he has just been a bit of an annoying inconvenience. Well…except when I was fucking him. But he only let me do that once. And I do not doubt that Sasuke would just kill him…perhaps it would be best if I just kill him now.

I looked at his face. Tranquil…like a sleeping child. I hated feeling soft…giving myself away as not quite the cold-hearted killer I played out from day to day.

Before I had completely processed the thought of killing him I had dismissed it, silently agreeing with myself never to admit I had thought of this and never went through with it. I took off my cloak, the rain hitting my newly exposed skin. I wrapped Suigetsu in it, covering his head from the rain. I lifted him and stood, facing the direction of the hideout. I could feel Suigetsu's shallow breathes against my chest as I started to run.

Getting there was no problem, Suigetsu was pretty light and we really were not far away at all. Within minutes I saw the hideout. The entrance opened automatically to my chakra. Upon getting inside I stopped.

Where do I take him?

To his room? He'd die without medical attention.

To my room? I couldn't do much for him…well, just about nothing really.

To Sasuke? There's a good chance he'd just let him die anyways.

"Well," my thoughts were suddenly interrupted, the hairs on my neck standing on end; a sensation not normal for me. "Bring him this way then." Sasuke had appeared out of thin air standing just to my right.

He started walking down the hall and I followed him. I decided not to worry, it really wasn't my buiseness. We got in through his lab and into a room with two beds set up. He moved for me to lay Suigetsu on one set up with an IV, SIMV, and a small table.

I set him down, pulling off my cloak and throwing it over my shoulder. Next to the bed a metal tray say on a small table, a full syringe on it.

"Stay here and assist me for a moment. I sent Tetsuya out about twenty minutes ago."

"Yea, whatever." I tossed my cloak onto the other bed, Sasuke glanced annoyedly at me.

"Take his clothes off and put his on," he passed me a hospital smock.

I began pulling Suigetsu's clothes off…which is much harder with him unconscious. I tried not smirking to myself. I pulled his limp arms through the sleeves then pulled Suigetsu foreword, his face pressing into my chest, and tied the back. I felt his head move, I looked over at Sasuke. Sasuke was setting up the IV.

"Hey," I leaned him back, his face was still. Maybe I imagined it.

I laid him down, wishing he would show some sign of life other than his small breaths. Sasuke put the IV in, using some medical tape to secure the needle. Once it was set up he grabbed the tube for the SIMV, placing it in his mouth and using more tape to keep that in place before turning on the respiratory machine. Sasuke reached over and grabbed the syringe. Without realizing I did so I grabbed Sasuke's arm just before he inserted the needle's contents into the IV.

He glared at me, "I need him now. You can let go of me."

There was that shiver again. I released his arm and watched him push in the substance and then place his hands over Suigetsu's chest. He was healing him. I watched half way disgusted, half way glad.

He needed him now?

I hated feeling any emotion whatsoever to any situation…at least any weak emotion. And this was bringing out pity for Suigetsu. He was just a tool, completely disposable.

"You can go now."

"Yea, I wasn't planning on staying. I walked out the door after grabbing my cloak.

I just want to go to bed.

…

There was a clock on the wall, placed pretty high so it was right in my range of vision. Apparently it is four-forty. Not sure if it is AM or PM. I turned my head slowly. There was an empty bed about seven feet away. I looked at my arm; there was an IV in it.

Suddenly I realized I felt better…almost normal.

I sat up, placing my hand over my chest, then my stomach. Nothing hurt, at least not the way it used to.

Did Hidan do this for me?

"Well, glad to see you have rested, we will require your assistance."

I turned quickly to meet the voice. It was Sasuke.

"What?"

"Yes," he stepped foreword. "I am in need of you, so I have healed you. Not cured…healed. I only need you for a short while after all."

I felt sick again. He was a monster.

"You will assist us in extracting the nine tails jinchuriki."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said no, you can forget it." My head was fuzzy with anger. I ripped out the IV and got out of the bed, noticing for the first time I was wearing barely anything. "Where are my clothes?"

Sasuke was beside me quickly. "You have no position to decide what you will and will not do."

"Fuck you," I moved to pass him but he placed his hand on my shoulder.

"You will listen to me."

That was it. I pulled my arm back and started to swing, my hand balled into a tight fist. Sasuke caught me in an instant. He used his other hand and punched my arm just above the elbow. I cried out, the sound of the bone snapping struck me before the pain. I didn't even feel it till he had me on the floor. I grunted and squeezed my eyes shut.

"Do you understand?" He gripped the bone where he had broken it, my entire upper torso throbbed.

I twisted around to look at him. "I will kill you."

Sasuke smiled. "I guess that will do for now."

I felt him healing the bone immediately. When he was done he let me go and left without another room.

I found my clothes under the table next to my bed and got dressed before walking briskly to my room.

After entering I slammed the door. I have never felt this furious in my life. I usually keep a cool demeanor; if I get angry I never lash out or even let it show much. But now I've had enough. I marched back and forth in my room, fuming.

I have to leave.

I kicked my dresser, then the baseboard of my bed. I tried not screaming. I was surprised to hear the knock at my door. I marched over and opened it to see Hidan.

"What do you want?"

"I-"

"Nevermind, go away." I tried closing the door but he caught it.

"Someone's riled up."

I took a breath and let myself calm down. I really didn't want to talk to him right now. "Please just go away."

Hidan started opening the door. I didn't stop him…perhaps something internally did want another person here. I turned away and sat moodily on my bed. I wasn't really angry any more, just annoyed and stressed.

"So, I see you are feeling better."

I looked up at him. Hidan wasn't wearing his cloak but surprisingly had on a lightweight grey shirt. I stood up, my arms crossed.

"What do you want?"

He just stared at me. I felt hot under his gaze. After a moment he stepped foreword, placing his hand on my shoulder. Without any other prompt I stepped into him, my hand resting on his chest. I pressed my nose into the middle of his chest, I breathed him in. It wasn't like when I tried to get close to Sasuke. It was a much different feeling. I wanted close to Sasuke because I had let myself get emotionally bonded to him. In this instant I just needed to touch somebody…and to have him touch me.

Hidan moved his hand from my shoulder to my back, between my shoulder blades. His other hand moved around my waist, pulling me even closer. I looked up at him. His eyes were glazed with want.

I moved my hand up his chest and to his neck. I stood on my toes and kissed him. He kissed back passionately, pulling me even closer. I pressed myself into him, savoring how hot our bodies were rubbing against each other. I moved down and kissed Hidan's throat, this seemed to amuse him.

"Come here," bent down and put his arms under my ass, picking me up, my legs around his waist.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. I could feel his hardened member through both of our pants. My blood started rushing faster; I let out a small moan into his mouth which excited Hidan even more. I began grinding against him and he moved towards the bed. He bent over and laid me down, but I rolled out from under him.

"What are you doing?" He laughed breathily watching me take off my shirt.

I lunged foreword placing my hands on either side of his face and kissing him roughly. I had no idea where all this was coming from, but it felt good to be making the moves. Hidan excitedly wrapped his arms around me and laid down pulling me onto him. I placed my hands on his chest, letting him feel my fingernails through the thin shirt. I moved down, opening the shirt and kissing his chest.

"Hey, are you always like this when you're not under the weather?" Hidan ran his hands up and down my back.

I tried not smiling. For the first time in a long time I felt good. And Hidan approved…he didn't really matter, but it was a bit of an ego boost after dealing with Sasuke.

Hidan suddenly rolled over again, taking me by surprise. "My turn," he smiled wickedly and pulled of his shirt, discarding it on the floor. He traced his hands down to my pants slipping them off with my underwear. He slid down to the floor, pulling me to the edge of the bed.

"H-Hidan…" I sat up on my elbows.

"Shh, you're the one so ready to go, now you're gonna deal with what I want to do."

Hidan took my sex in his hands causing my breath to catch. He pumped slowly, watching my face. I closed my eyes and just tried to breath, it felt so good. It took me by surprise when he put the head in his mouth. He slid his free hand under my leg and pushed it up, giving him better access to my entrance.

He returned his hand to my member, coating his fingers with precum before continuing. As always it was uncomfortable at first but after a moment I eased up. I lay back when he pushed a second finger in, pushing them both deeper. Suddenly he found what he was looking for. My back arched and I moaned, gripping the sheets.

"You like that?"

"Hidan…" I tried squirming away but one of his hands was still firmly placed at the base of my member.

"What do you want?"  
I sat back up and grabbed his hair. "Come here."

He smiled, thoroughly pleased. Hidan moved back onto the bed, my hand still in his hair, and began kissing me. I laid back and Hidan kissed my neck.

"Hidan…"

"Hmm?"

I was distracted by my own thoughts, typical. "I'm leaving."

He sat up slowly. "That's probably good."

Why did I tell him that? I sat up…maybe he should go.

"Hey," I looked at him. "Don't worry about me ratting you out, I honestly have to investment here. It wouldn't do me any good to tip anyone off…besides you should leave."

"…" I tried not to imagine that he might have any feeling for me. "Thanks."

Hidan placed his hand on my neck and kissed me, slower this time. I let him lead, my previous vigor dying down into the same silent submission. When we lay back down Hidan didn't delay in pushing in, though once he was in he stopped.

"What is it?" My voice was breathy from the sensation of him inside of me.

Hidan smiled. "I think I need to give you something to remember me by."

He pulled almost all of the way out then pushed in harder than before causing me to gasp. He repeated this, this time hitting my sweet spot and I cried out. Now that he found it he hit every time. I gripped my short fingernails into his shoulder, as he pounded harder. Just as I had gotten into the rhythm he slowed down, taking the time to kiss me, stealing my breath. When he continued he hit softer, but I longed for the sensation from before

"Hidan…"

"Yea," He kissed me, preventing me from answering for a moment.

When he moved away I breathed "harder."

He smiled and thrust in harder than before. I cried out, throwing my head back.

"Like that?"

I nodded, not able to speak just gasp as he pushed in again and again. When I thought I was too close to hold on suddenly he grabbed my sex hard at the base.

"A-ah…what are y-you doing?"

"You finish when I want you to." He smiled viciously and continued ravishing my insides.

I squeezed my eyes shut and moaned without restraint. It was too much, I was building up past the brink, I needed to come.

"H-hidan…please."

"Heh…wait." He continued, it was obvious he was getting close. I envied his stamina.

My toes curled into the bed sheet as I tried to find room to breathe, it felt like the pleasure had built up in me, not leaving any room for vital functions.

Suddenly he eased up a little, moving his hand up my length, letting it out with one quick pump.

"Fuck," my back arched as I released, I felt like every muscle in my body seized and relaxed continuously for an inhumane amount of time. When it was finally over I didn't even realize Hidan had stopped and was staring smugly at my face.

I panted and closed my eyes, letting him roll off of me only to pull me next to him. I was spent, I rolled over, pressing my face into his shoulder and let myself begin dropping off to sleep.

"You know," he sat up on his elbow, "you can rest now but I'm still not done."


	32. The New Goal

I got up and pulled on my clothes, grabbing my shoes and the radio Zabuza gave me before I left. Hidan was still sleeping. I walked down the hall and to the exit. I walked only a few yards into the woods, knowing that Sasuke would be able to tell if I ran off too far. I stopped and turned on the radio. I wasn't sure if I was close enough to pick up anything.

"Zabuza?"

No answer. I gave him a few minutes.

"Zabuza-senpai?"

Nothing still. In desperation I turned to Kakashi.

"Kakashi-san?"

Nothing.

Okay…I reached to turn it off.

"Suigetsu?"

My heart jumped, "Kakashi-san?"

"Yes, I was outside the leaf village trying to tack who attacked Konoha yesterday. Do you know anything about that?"

Crap… "Yea, I can tell you about that later. I need out."

"Out of the Akatsuki?"

"Yes, things have gotten too dangerous… I really cannot do any more here."

"Well, if you have information on the attack, it would be essential for you to return. I will get back to you when I have returned to Konoha with a squad. Just sit tight but be ready to leave in a moments notice."

"Understood." I heard the radio cut off.

Good no turning back. Pushing my feelings for Sasuke aside was best, for now I just have to concentrate on getting out, and what I was going to tell everyone in Konoha.

…

I hadn't forgotten him…there were just more pressing matters. Konoha was in a state of chaos, the hokage and the elders had been ripped from us in one fell swoop. How did we not see this coming?

Despite all excuses I should have came sooner. It was my fault he was there in the first place; I had only wanted to help him.

I knocked before entering. The room was dimly lit, the lights in the hospital weren't very bright and the curtains were shut. Because of his condition, Sai was the only one in the room. He was lying on his side facing me, his dark eyes looking at me. They showed nothing.

"Hello, I thought you might be a little lonely in here. I wouldn't be so worried but both Sakura and Naruto have gone missing."

"I heard," He looked away.

I walked over to the window behind him. "It's dark in here isn't it? Let's open these…there, much better." I turned and froze.

The afternoon sun illuminated every detail. The blanket over Sai rested low over his back, the hospital gown open in the back. The young shinobi's pale skin was discolored, large scabs and mars. I swallowed. Sai was still, I'm sure he knew I couldn't take my eyes away.

If he hadn't been there…

I walked over, resting my hand tentatively on his shoulder. I felt him flinch slightly, and then he turned his head to look at me.

"I'm sorry."

Sai was silent, just watching me.

"Captain Yamato, I am fine."

"Okay…Is there anything I can get for you?"

He was silent for a moment, then reached over to the table, grabbing his key.

"You could get my drawing supplies. They are at my desk," I took the key.

"Of course, I'll be right back."

I left and hurried out of the hospital and down the abandoned streets of Konoha. The village was still in shock from its attack, and inhabitants were probably tentative in these times without a hokage.

When I got to Sai's apartment I used his key to unlock the door. It was pretty spacious for a kid and pretty empty too. There were probably more pictures on the wall than furniture in every room combined. This probably said a lot about the young shinobi, but I tried to stay focused on getting his things to him as fast as I could.

I know I really needn't feel guilt for what had happened to him, no one could have predicted the attack. We could have prevented it, but that responsibility did not fall on my shoulders alone. Konoha is in need of a more alert guard and better ways of getting information to the village before a possible attack.

I left Sai's apartment and headed back towards the hospital. Suddenly a messenger stopped me in my path.

"Yamato-san, Kakashi has returned to the village and has sent for you to come to him immediately. He is at the ANBU headquarters."

"Understood. Could you do me a favor?"

"Certainly sir, though I still need to find Zabuza-san."

"I could do that, here" I passed him the bundle of materials. "Could you take these to the hospital, there are for Sai. And tell him I am sorry I couldn't deliver them myself."  
"Yes sir," the messenger departed.

I left towards Zabuza's home. If Kakashi was calling for him it must mean that he has news from inside the Akatsuki. I arrived shortly and knocked, I could hear a baby crying inside.

Zabuza opened the door. "Yamato-san?"

"Kakashi has requested we come immediately to the ANBU headquarters."  
"I though he was on a mission?"  
"Yes, it appears he has returned already."

Zabuza nodded then turned, Konan was sitting on a chair inside. Cradled in her arms was her newborn daughter.

"I can handle things here; you had better go see what Kakashi needs."

"Yea…I'll be back as soon as I can."

She smiled, "I'll be waiting."

"Bye daddy!"

Zabuza waved then stepped out, closing the door behind him. We hurried down the empty street towards the ANBU headquarters.

…

"Good, now we can begin." I waited for Yamato and Zabuza to close the door before I stood. "While I was tracking the attackers, I received radio feed from our spy in the Akatsuki." I saw Zabuza' expression change, if only for a second. "He says he needs out of the Akatsuki immediately. I would have gone myself, but I realized the Akatsuki wouldn't be taking any movement from u lightly after their attack, so I came here to gather a squad before assisting him in escaping. I would normally put this off for a later time, after we have this disaster sorted out but he ha assured me that he has information on the attack."

I looked between those gathered. Nagato nodded, agreeing with every word I said, Zabuza remained in silent thought, Kisame glanced at Zabuza then at Deidara, and the blonde merely sat back, a look of slight annoyance on his face.

"When do we leave?" Zabuza was the first to speak.

"Immediately. I understand that you will all need to prepare, gather your weapons and such, but I ask you move quickly."

"Fine," Deidara sighed and stood up.

"Got it," Yamato nodded and turned to leave.

Kisame smiled and left Zabuza right behind him.

…

Sleep, I need it. I know I said I would wait, but this it so comfortable.

I felt myself drift from reality into a dream. It has been so long since I had a real dream.

I opened my eyes yet everything remained dark, I felt cool, not cold, cool. I turned my head, realizing I was submerged in water, towards light. It filtered in from above me. The surface of the water was moving, was it a river? I looked down and noticed I was completely naked. Oh well, it was a dream…though a rather boring one.

I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. I looked at it drifting by, like a little ghost.

An origami flower? I remember my mother teaching me to make them when I was small. Another followed it. Then on my other side three more drifted past. I turned around to face them. More pale light flooded in from that direction along with yet more paper flowers.

I moved against the current, towards the light. The water was getting shallower, was the shore over here? I closed my eyes as I reached the surface.

As my head broke the surface, I was choked by a bitter smell; my mouth was full of the water which now tasted metallic and oozed out as I tried to take a breath. I started to stand but felt unnaturally heavy; I could feel I was wearing something now. I opened my eyes.

Blood?

I suppose this is the part of the dream where you are supposed to wake up, your subconscious pulling you away from whatever you haven't seen yet.

I looked down at myself. I appeared to be wearing a kimono; I couldn't tell the color for it was completely soaked from the river of blood I remained kneeling in. Calmly I began wiping the blood away from my eyes when another origami flower dropped into the water in front of me. I looked up, noticing I wasn't alone for the first time.

"Hello?" I watched the young woman folding another flower. I waited, expecting her to drop it. Instead she looked at it resting in her palm. After a moment he put it in her pocket then closed her eyes again.

She was probably around seventeen years old, not very tall, slender, pale and tranquil. She had dark blue hair cut just below her ears. She was dressed in light grey shorts black sandals, a dark purple sleeveless shirt that stopped just above her bellybutton and hung from around her neck. Around her chest, just under her breasts, was a holster of sorts meant for a weapon that wasn't there.

For a moment I thought I was looking at my dream's interpretation of a younger me, and then she opened her eyes.

They were dark. I couldn't find any color in them, they were black. It made her eyes look large, like the iris was too big in comparison to the whites.

"Hello, Konan."

"You know me?"

"Of course."

"Oh yea, it's my dream," I sat back on my heels, wiping more blood off of my face. I looked around. Beyond the river sat the ruins of a large town or village. "Where are we?"

"We are where we leave off."

I looked back at her; she was staring at the town as well. I shifted uncomfortably in my attire; I've never worn a kimono in my life. I was never presented an occasion where one was necessary.

"I don't get it."

"I have to go now, she turned to leave."

"Wait, who are you?"

She turned back around and smiled. It was a sad smile, a smile I knew.

"My name is Masuyo."

I knew that…deep in my mind I knew who she was.

"Konan, why don't you go to bed?"

I opened my eyes and saw Zabuza kneeling in front of me. I yawned and nodded. "Yea, I got so tired I just fell asleep here." I stood up out of the chair. "So what did Kakashi want?"

Zabuza stood up, lifting his sword off of the floor next to him as he did so. "I have to leave, just a short rescue mission." He places the sword on its holster. "We are bringing Suigetsu back."


	33. Rat, Dog, and Bird

How long has it been? It's night now! Are they actually coming? I paced around my room; I could feel Hidan watching me. I had hoped I would come back and he would be gone, but since finding him still here, I haven't really found any real reason to ask him to leave.

"Do you want anything to eat? I'm fucking starving."

I glanced at Hidan who was sitting lazily on my bed.

"I guess," since Sasuke had healed me to his liking, my appetite had returned. Though I had been ignoring how hungry I was in anticipation of Kakashi and his squad's arrival.

"'Kay, I'll be right back." He got up and left. I took his spot on the bead, laying down and closing my eyes.

What if they found out I was one of the people who attacked Konoha? Would Zabuza have told anyone? I rolled to my side and buried my face in my blanket.

"Hey, I've got curry buns…I don't know if you like em of not."

"Yea, it's fine." I sat up.

"Cool," he tossed one to me and sat down next to me and took a large bite of his own. "I thought you said those guys from Konoha were coming for you?"

I frowned, "Yea, they are." I took a small bite, not really in the mood to eat after all. I pushed the earpiece absent-mindedly, not wanting to miss when Kakashi gets back to me.

"Shit, now I'm thirsty," Hidan stood back up. "I'll be right back."

"Mmhmm…" I set the bun on the side table and lay down.

"Suigetsu?"

"Zabuza?" I sat straight up.

"Okay, good," I could hear him say something to someone with him. "Get ready, we are outside the hideout."

…

"Okay, stay on for further instructions."

"Got it."

I turned to Kakashi who nodded, then turned to Kisame.

"Lead the way Kisame, where is this 'weak spot' you spoke of?"

"Well he should be able to leave without any problem really; it just getting away that might be difficult. But if worst comes to worst and we have to go in and get him, the west entrance would be best to do so. It is the section Konan added on herself. I'm not that familiar with her jutsu, but it may have been weakened now that she left. The outside looks like the usual stone exterior but from the inside you can see it is made of paper."

"Let's go then," Kakashi got on his radio. "Deidara, follow us. We are moving to the West Entrance."

We all looked up to watch Deidara move across the sky with us on his giant clay bird. He had sure put up a fit for the short amount of time it took for him to make it. Was complaining about not having the "right" materials or something like that. He was an odd kid.

We followed Kisame silently. When he stopped we all listened for any signs of life from the hideout.

Nothing.

"Zabuza, tell Suigetsu to meet us at the west entrance."

"Right," I turned on the radio. "Suigetsu-kun?"

"Yea."

"Meet up at the West Entrance. Try to leave on your own and meet us outside. If there's any trouble contact me immediately."

"Okay."

Kakashi looked at me for a moment, and then continued watching the entrance. I know what I said must have sounded abnormal for me, but I knew Suigetsu couldn't hold his own in a fight against Sasuke.

…

I pulled on my shoes and watched Hidan walk towards the door.

"Well, I'm gonna quietly disappear back into my room now. Later," He left, waving nonchalantly at me as he went.

I shook my head and stood up. This was it. I was going…not for good. I knew I would make it back here. I had to. Orochimaru had taken years of freedom from me and had now taken Sasuke. I know being the vengeful type is immature and rather pointless…but I wanted him dead.

I walked out the door and down the hall. As I stepped out into the hall known as the West Entrance I felt him.

"Suigetsu-kun," my back went rigid. "Returning to you friends are you?"

"I'm leaving the Akatsuki, I-"

"I am not Nagato; you are not under his jurisdiction. Leaving isn't an option."

I glared into his eyes unwaveringly, "Fuck you."

I continued past, Sasuke…no, Orochimaru watched me go. Suddenly I felt a cold hand on the back of my neck. I turned, a kunai instantly in my hand. It was all too easy for him to block, ripping his hand away. I stared at him furiously; he held the radio in one hand and beckoned me with the other.

I moved foreword, quickly. I swung at him, his hand catching me by my wrist. He let go then slapped me hard across the face. Before I had time to recover and advance he grabbed me by my throat, roughly pulling me to face him. I glared at him and he smiled. Slowly I began feeling dizzy and my vision began to darken.

He let go and I fell to my knees.

"Kakashi," I looked up, he had the radio to his mouth, "Is this you?"

…

"Kakashi, is this you?"

Shit.

"Well, I've found your little rat trying to chew its way out…I disagree with that."

Over the radio came a noise I didn't recognize at first. It sounded like birds.

"Zabuza, what is it?"

I ran, ignoring Kakashi who yelled after me. I scaled the fortress in seconds, pausing only to slice through the paper wall with my Kubikiri Hocho.

Upon breaking through I leapt immediately in, landing on my feet, rain falling through after me. Suddenly, mere feet from me, Sasuke was torn from his path. Suigetsu had grabbed him by his waist and pulled him to the floor.

He wasn't meaning to kill Suigetsu…Sasuke's target had been Kakashi.

And Suigetsu had put himself in danger anyways to save me.

Sasuke immediately got up, snarling as he did so. Suigetsu remain on the floor, coming in such a close range with chidori had certainly done its damage. Kakashi landed on the floor beside me, a moment after him came Kisame.

"So you are here, Kakashi. Not surprising of course, but shame on you sending your puppy in first…could have had him killed." Sasuke stood, regaining an air of calm arrogance.

Kakashi didn't respond. He was surveying Sasuke, summing up his slightest move.

"I suppose you want your rat back," Sasuke moved his foot, placing it against Suigetsu's cheek. He pressed down till Suigetsu's still face was turned to us. "It's okay, I was nearly done with him anyways…his final task can be completed by anyone really."

I moved, my arm going back…I was ready to strike, began to step foreword. Sasuke sickened me. Such words would have never fazed me before, but now they struck deep, resonating through me.

"Zabuza no," Kakashi spoke without looking at me.

I eased back; I tried to sense Kisame's position in this without my eyes leaving Sasuke.

"Good dog."

I sprang foreword. Sasuke moved faster than I did, turning away from me. A figure was behind him…no, he appeared there as Sasuke turned. There is no way a human could have been standing there this whole time. The man pulled two swords from his waist, I couldn't read his features well for up past the end of his nose was covered in a mask bearing the symbol of the Hidden Sound Village, but his mouth was a solemn straight line.

Kakashi was behind me in an instant, blocking one of the blades. Whoever this ninja was, he was more skilled than either of us, moving past our every maneuver as if it were preplayed for him in slow-motion. I felt cold steel cut my bicep and I moved back.

I looked for Sasuke but he was gone. Kisame joined Kakashi, fighting against the unidentified shinobi.

Zabuza, take Suigetsu to Deidara and leave. We can handle things here." Kakashi glanced at me for only a moment before continuing the fight with the Sound ninja. It wasn't really a fight, they were just blocking one another's blows though I knew from his technique and obvious skill, the enemy could end this any time he wished.

Nevertheless I knelt down and lifted Suigetsu to me then turned back to the opening. I jumped up into the falling rain and onto the roof; I waved at Deidara who dropped the queer white clay bird beside me.

"Kakashi said for us to leave."

"Fine," I jumped on behind Deidara who turned away impartially. I wonder why he came at all.

I knelt down, resting Suigetsu's back against my leg and cradling his head in my hand. I felt Suigetsu move and was relieved that he wasn't in too bad of shape. The bird took off towards Konoha. I looked at my injured arm. It wasn't bad at all, more blood than anything. The cut was fine and long but not really deep whatsoever. I closed my eyes and let my hand rest on Suigetsu's chest. I could feel him breathing and his heart beating. Neither felt particularly abnormal, his breathing was a little labored but it wasn't a particularly alarming symptom, I'm by no means I medic ninja but I have had basic training. Even so I could tell when I saw Suigetsu last that he was ill, he appeared to be better now but I was still uneasy, despite my past attempts to remain distant and blithe.

I pulled him closer, his cheek against my chest and opened my eyes. Deidara was watching me, but when our eyes met he looked away mumbled something about shitty weather.

…

I came in though the window. I know I'm welcome but I still would rather not have to face a locked door before turning to the window. I highly doubt he locks the door, but still.

The bedroom was dark. I came it, pulling off my wet shirt and walking to the bathroom. I turned on the shower, adjusted it to the right temperature then pulled of the remainder of my clothes and stepped in. My skin was still cold from the rain but the heated water remedied that quickly. I pulled out the tie from my hair and let the water run through it. I grabbed the shampoo and began washing my hair slowly. I rinsed then cleaned my body, paying mind to every crevasse. When I felt sufficiently clean I turned off the water and stepped out, grabbing a towel from the shelf.

I began dying myself, listening for sounds of sleep from the other room. I stepped out and walked to the dresser, grabbing a pair of boxers and pulling them on, discarding the towel in a corner.

Itachi was lying to one side of the bed, leaving a spot for me. His bed technically. His apartment, his shower, his towel, his boxers. But he quietly shared everything with me. He never asked me to leave, and I never did. After that day in the hospital, after he was released, I came with him here and never left. We comfortably shared silence here. We would sit without speaking, eat, and go to sleep without saying more than a few words to each other all day. And never engaging in idle chatter. I would always wait for him to tell me to go away again, swearing I would obey this time but he never did. He just let me stay, never minding me whatsoever.

I crawled into bed next to him, under the same blanket, and rolled into him. I rested my cheek on his shoulder and let my hand make its way to his chest. We just lay there for a moment, I knew he was awake.

"The mission was successful?"

"Yes, Zabuza took Suigetsu to the hospital when we arrived."

Silence.

I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

And it may have been my dream, but I swear, like every night, I felt Itachi pull me closer.


	34. A Sublime Obligation

"So how did it go?"

"Fine actually. After Sasuke left the attacking ninja backed off and told us to leave. He was greatly skilled so I didn't argue the matter, besides we got Suigetsu so the mission was a success."

"Great," Yamato nodded then switched on his radio, "we will not be needing back up. Mission completed, expect us in Konoha tonight." He turned it off. "Okay, let's go."

…

My head hurts. My neck hurts. My arms, my legs, every breath is painful.

I swallow and open my eyes the smallest amount. The room was dark. I stared up at a white ceiling, illuminated blue by the light of the earliest hours of dawn. I heard a rhythmic beep to my left, breathing to my right. Slowly I turned my head to the left.

A window, the blinds up only a few inches to let in the small amount of natural light, was in view. As well as a heart monitor and a stand with two IV bags attached. I scanned down my arm, both tubes were attached and running into my vein.

"Suigetsu."

I turned slowly to my right, my neck was stiff and movement was laborious. Zabuza was sitting in a chair, his chin resting on his hand and his elbow on the arm of the chair. He sat up, rolling his shoulder and yawning.

"I was just considering going home; it's about three-forty in the morning as it is." He stared foreword, concentrating on something high on the wall in front of him for several long moments. "I am glad you finally came…though it appears Sasuke had more than enough time to do his damage."

I closed my eyes. I didn't want to hear him. I wished he had left before I woke up. As it is the effects of Sasuke's chidori on me hadn't wore off, so it wasn't like I could get up and leave. The IV helped move the process along faster, but my kekkei genkai was still not functioning anywhere near properly, so healing would be long and tiresome.

"Get your rest. I'll be back later."

I listened to him leave. I'm not sure exactly when I fell asleep, but I was grateful that no dreams came. There was nothing there I wanted to see.

When I woke up again full daylight was pouring though the window. I moved almost without realizing that I had done so. Afterwards I regretted not moving more gradually.

"Oh, hello," I looked up and met the gaze of a young nurse. "I'm glad to see you are awake, Kakashi-san wanted to see you as soon as you were up."

I swallowed nervously. I watched her leave then sat up the rest of the way slowly. I knew I would have to reveal my involvement with the attack on Konoha eventually, but I wasn't quite ready yet. And to Kakashi…I couldn't imagine anything worse. My part had to deal with his former students after all.

Kakashi entered a few minutes later alone.

"Suigetsu, I wanted to address the matter of the Hokage and elder assassinations and the attack on Konoha immediately…you said you had information for me?"

Damn…I thought quickly. "Where is Zabuza-senpai?"

"He went home; he had been here for a good portion of the night to see if you would pull through alright."

I nodded. "I want him here." I was just stalling…which is pointless.

Kakashi stared at me for a moment. Surprisingly he nodded and left. I half considered jumping out of bed and escaping out the window…but I wouldn't make it far, plus it would only make things worse.

I merely sat back and waited for him to return.

…

I could hear a knock at the door and could only assume it had to do with Suigetsu. I heard Konan answer then a moment later she walked into the room. I felt her hand on my shoulder and I sighed.

"Kakashi?"

"Yes, he says he needs you."

"Mmhmm…" I sat up pushing the covers off as I did so. I had only slept for two hours before Fuyu woke me up then I had just laid back down for a nap and now I have to leave again. I stood up and pulled on my clothes. "Did he say what for?"  
"No," she readjusted Reimei in her arms, "He just said he needed you right away."  
"Alright…" I grabbed my shoes. "You'll be okay here again?"  
"Of course," Konan smiled tranquilly.

"I had planned to be here for you for a while…as long as you would need my help I guess. But of course everything has to start happening now."

"I'm a big girl; I can handle this on my own."

I smiled and kissed her cheek before joining Kakashi. I didn't see Fuyu before I left; I guess he must be in his room playing with something.

"Well, Kakashi, what is it this time?"

We walked briskly onto the street and through the newly forming crowds. "Suigetsu said he wanted you." He looked at me.

"Ah…" I didn't mind going to him, I had become rather fond of the kid. Back in Kiri I had never given him a chance, I merely found in an inconvenience when I was told to assist his training.

When we walked into his room, Suigetsu was sitting up in the bed. He looked at me when I walked in then looked away. He looked pale, but a lot better than the last time I had seen him in Konoha.

"Okay Suigetsu…"

"I only want to talk to Zabuza, I have my reasons."

I looked at Kakashi, his face. Or what you could see of it was unreadable. After a moment he nodded then waved me out of the room with him. He closed the door behind us.

"I realize there may be some reasons why he may not want to tell me everything. I just need you to find out what the Akatsuki is planning by removing the hokage and the elders, and if he knows where Naruto is. These are the most crucial matters, I'll leave it up to you to report to me anything else you deem important…I can trust you to do this, I'm sure?"

"Yes," Kakashi nodded and opened the door for me to go back in.

I walked in, my eyes never leaving Suigetsu. His violet eyes watched me walk to the edge of the bed and stop, looking down at him. Silently I set a jutsu blocking our conversation from all ears not our own. My eyes remained locked with him. I wasn't taking this lightly, if Kakashi thought I were being false towards him he may have me removed. I didn't want to abandon my son and Konan.

"You were in Konoha the day of the attack, is that what this is about?"

"Yes."

"What about it?"

He looked away, "It was a mission-"

I reached foreword swiftly, I turned him to face me again. I could feel my fingers pressing into the thin flesh on his jaw, bruising the area.

"What EXACTLY was it Suigetsu, this isn't a joke. We may not be in Kiri, but subversion will not be passed over lightly." After a moment I let go, he remained looking me in the eyes.

"It was a mission given to us by Orochimaru-"

"Orochimaru?"

"Sasuke...He sent us, Hidan and me, to Konoha on a mission. We were to meet with a subordinate of his, Orochimaru's after it was complete."

"Who was the subordinate?"

"He identified himself as Tetsuya; he was an informant to Orochimaru from inside the village."

"Inside the village? So he lived here."

"I guess so…yea."

"What exactly was the mission, Kakashi needs to know why the hokage and elders were targeted."

"They weren't," Suigetsu swallowed, his eyes moved away for a second but he seemed to remember how I feel about that. "It was a distraction. The real target was the jinchuriki host, Uzumaki Naruto."

I sat down. "So Sasuke has him then?"

"Yes, while Hidan caused the distraction I captured the jinchuriki host."

"Did you kill him?"

"No, we were given instructions specifically not to kill him. I was just to place a seal."

"Since when can you make seals?"

"I can't…I said I placed it. Sasuke made it; it was on a short sword he gave to Hidan. I just had to place it."

"Okay," this had to be close to what Kakashi was suspecting. Or at least one of the options he had considered. "I don't know what actions Kakashi will take knowing this…"

"What does it matter? He doesn't really need to-"

"It does matter! If I hold back anything you just told me I might be taken away from my family."

He stared at me, his eyes still frustrated. Suddenly he threw the blanket off of him and swung his slender legs over the edge of the bed. Suigetsu stood up slowly and yanked the IV from his arm.

"Fine, it's okay. Tell him whatever, I'll just leave then we can both be okay." He grabbed his pants off of the small shelf and cast aside his hospital gown, under which he wore only his underwear. He began pulling on his pants.

"Suigetsu," I stood up.

He turned towards me sharply, buttoning his pants as he did so, "What? Are you not going to let me leave now? Huh?"

I couldn't say anything. When he turned to face me he revealed large surgical scars on his abdomen.

"What?" He followed my eyes to the scars. They had to be fairly recent I noted by the coloring.

"Sasuke?"

Suigetsu just stood there, looking down at himself. The room had become unbearably quiet. After a minute, he slowly turned around and sat on the edge of the bed. At first Suigetsu was completely still. Still and silent. Then he let out a small sob, his narrow shoulders shaking. He continued to cry, obviously trying to suppress it. I walked around the bed and stood in front of him. Suigetsu bowed his head further and wiped his eyes. The more he tried to suppress it, the stronger the sobs came. I sat down next to him and placed my hand on his shoulder.

Suddenly he just let it out, burying his face in his hands as he bawled. I had known something had gone on between the two boys, but it had apparently gone a lot farther than I thought.

"It's okay," I spoke quietly and awkwardly. I had no idea how to deal with this. I had nothing helpful to say, just the generic shit you say in a bad situation.

"I…he…" Suigetsu was crying too hard for me to understand whatever was coming out of his mouth.

Suigetsu leaned foreword, his forehead nearly touching his knees and just wept uncontrollably for several minutes. My hand remained on his shaking back though I didn't say anything for a while.

"Suigetsu…calm down okay." I pulled him closer; he let me, his head resting on my leg. "You are here now; it's going to be okay." His face was flushed and wet, pale hair sticking to his cheeks. I couldn't help being reminded of my own son when he would start crying. I quietly pulled the hair from his face.

Suigetsu cried noisily for another several minutes. Gradually he got quieter, then was left sobbing through his breath, then sniffling and hiccoughing miserably, then he was finally still, just breathing slowly, his eyes half-lidded and red. I wondered if Kakashi had grown impatient out there.

"Suigetsu, are you going to be okay?"

I could feel him swallow. "Yea," he could barely use his voice.

I slowly got up, Suigetsu barely moved. When I got up he just lay his head back down. I grabbed the blanket from the end of the bed and spread it over him.

I knelt down, my face inches from his. "Suigetsu, when you are released I want you to come and stay with me and Konan. At least for a while."

He blinked, not looking into my eyes, and sniffled a little. Deciding that was good enough, I got up. Before leaving to rejoin Kakashi I touched his shoulder comfortingly.

He was going to be okay…I wanted to make sure of that.


	35. Hidan

I had been staring into the backs of my eyelids for about two hours before I finally got up. I hate these days, when you just feel like doing nothing but something in the back of your head says that you have something to do and just won't let you sleep.

I stood in the shower, cursing in my mind. I yawned and turned off the water, wondering why I never remembered to take out a towel before I got in. Whatever, who cares if I walk across my own bathroom stark naked? No one is going to walk in or anything.

Just as I grabbed a towel I heard a knock on my door.

"What fresh hell is this?" I decided to pull on only the towel before answering; they should know how inconvenient they are. I opened the door and was mildly shocked to find Nagato outside the door.

"Hidan, get dressed and come back out, bring your scythe."

I closed the door without answering. Nagato has never addressed me personally. Whenever I was in his presence I was with either Kakuzu or with the rest of the Akatsuki when we assembled. Whatever he needed had to be pretty important. There was hardly anyone left on his side. Just Zetsu, Tobi and myself…well Pein of course, but they aren't exactly counted in my book. Plus Tobi had just sort of disappeared not long after Itachi and the others left. And requesting me to bring a weapon? Was there a real mission at hand? If so, I would be more than up to it, especially if it is a solo mission.

I quickly joined Nagato in the hall and he led me outside. We had been walking in silence for about twenty minutes before Nagato stopped and turned to face me.

"Hidan, I need you to do something exceedingly important for me. A final mission."

"Final mission?"

"Yes, after this the Akatsuki is no more. Leave, that's the final order after completing your mission."

"Okay," whatever, I wasn't really planning on sticking around much more anyways. "So what's the mission?"

Nagato looked at me for a minute. I'm not going to lie, having him size me up with that rinnegan was a little unnerving, even if only one of his eyes was visible. Plus he looked like a living corpse.

"This is a very important mission, Hidan. It's something I would have normally left to Konan or Itachi and Kisame."

Of course.

"I do not think I can fully trust Zetsu any more, and Madara I have never trusted."

"Madara? As in, Uchiha Madara?"  
"Yes, you would know him as Tobi."

"What the…Seriously? That imbecile is Uchiha Madara?"

"Yes."

"What about Pein, they are completely under your control. Can't you use them?"  
"No, not for this. I have dismissed the use of Pein since the others left. But that is neither here nor there. The point I am making is that Madara and Orochimaru are working together now. They have taken the Akatsuki's goal and twisted it to fit their own ambitions. Madara wants the world under his control, and he is using the help of Orochimaru in exchange for giving him free reign over remaining kekkei genkai."

"Wait, Orochimaru? When did he come into this? I heard he was killed."

"No he had placed part of himself into two of his subordinates, Sasuke and Kabuto. What was in Sasuke took him over and then he killed Kabuto, taking that part as well. What you have known as Uchiha Sasuke is Orochimaru using his body to regain his former power. Plus now he has the sharingan in his use as well as every jutsu Sasuke knew. Essentially Orochimaru wishes to learn what secret jutsu he can from kekkei genkai carriers, even going so far as infusing the kekkei genkai into himself like he has done with Sasuke, and then wiping out the clans all together. He wishes to know every jutsu in existence; he thinks this is the key to being all-powerful. If he is unsuccessful in taking the kekkei genkai of a clan and learning their jutsu, he merely destroys them."

"Okay, so he is wiping out all of these clans…HOW THE FUCK IS HE DOING THAT? The clans have existed this long because no one can kill them off, so how is he doing it?"

Nagato sighed, "I despise Orochimaru, but he is a genius. I have watched his actions for a while now, keeping note. I knew at some point he would return and I would need to be as informed as possible. He is using the blood itself. By mapping the unique traits of a clan's blood he creates a virus that attacks only the carrier of a certain kekkei genkai, killing them from the inside. As far as I have seen, after it enters a person it begins destroying cells, disintegrating tissue and eventually killing them. You probably saw this in that Hozuki boy who came with him. The Hozuki clan's kekkei genkai would be one of the ones that is impossible to use without being part of the clan itself. And now he has the formula to annihilate the entire clan."

I nodded, that explained some things.

"At some point their goals will have to separate, I am sure both plan to do away with the other since in the end they are each aiming to be the most powerful shinobi in the world. And Madara being part of the Uchiha clan would flaw Orochimaru's plans."

"Okay," yea, it's not like I totally understand the situation here. I get the sum of it; Madara and Orochimaru are scum in Nagato's view and need to be stopped. Right, that's easy. "So what does this have to do with me?"

"Both Madara and Orochimaru need the use of the rinnegan. Orochimaru to discover new jutsu and Madara to create the tentails and control the world. So what I need for you to do is abolish the chance of either of them meeting these ends. I need you to eradicate me and destroy the rinnegan."

"Wait, you want me to…kill you?"

"Precisely, and do away with any way either Madara or Orochimaru can get any information from me. And leave. Your jutsu aren't anything special, they would kill you eventually."

I scowled…Nothing special? Okay, I guess they aren't really, you don't need any special bloodline capability to execute them, but I just don't take insult lightly. Even if he is trying to help me (which I do not need either). "Right, so just kill you-"

"And destroy the rinnegan. Make sure of this, it is most essential. Once I am dead I am trusting you to remove my eye and destroy it, then my body as well to prevent any new jutsu from being uncovered by Orochimaru."

"Right, yea I got it." I held my three-bladed scythe in both hands. I hesitated for a moment. I wish he would close his eyes or turn away or something. Nagato just stared at me, right in the eyes. The importance of what I was given to do was in his gaze, piercing into my mind. In one fluid moment I took off his head. I felt blood spray across my face. I watched his head, red hair caught in the light as it tumbled to a stop. His body fell a moment later. First to the knees then forward. I remained perfectly still, frozen in my last act.

I set my scythe down then walked over to where his head had come to rest. I rolled it over with my foot.

"Well, goodbye Nagato-sama." I pushed my fingers past his eyelid and pulled out one eye. I reached to get the next then stopped.

It was gone.

I knelt down and stared at the empty socket. What was the use of not telling me one was already gone? Where did it go? No wonder he is less powerful than before, he was using only one eye.

Putting by bafflement aside, I focused on burning the body, the easiest way of disposing of any traces of chakra.

…

"Interesting, Madara-san will be fuming over this."

~ "Yes, poor Hidan-kun. He will pay dearly for this." A cold laugh pierced the air.

"Be quieter, what if he were to hear us?"

~ "What can he do? Nagato is right; he is a threat to no one."

"Hmm…yes. But interesting, one eye is already gone?"

~ "Well I guess we know our new mission. Now let us report back already, I cannot wait to see what Madara will do to this fool."

"Why do you have to be like that?"

We sunk back into the log we had been protruding from. Back to Madara, this news was exactly what would start his magnificent war.


	36. untitled 2

Kakashi was deep in thought. After telling him what Suigetsu had told me, he had remained silent. When he finally spoke, his voice was deep and grim.

"Of all times to go without a Hokage. Even the elders would lend some support in a time like this…At least with them finding a new hokage would be easier."

"Yea, it's a pretty bad situation." Wow, that sounded stupid. I really didn't have much thought on the matter.

"Yea…" Kakashi trailed off, lost in thought again. "Well you can go now; I need to consult with some people."

I nodded and watched Kakashi leave. I considered going back in to Suigetsu, but decided to go home instead. Konan would want to know what all this had been about anyways.

…

I had previously been used to seeing Deidara yelling or causing some sort of commotion in another way…always centered around him, of course. He demanded the limelight, but you would never guess this watching him now. He was sitting, silent, eyes half lidded, and staring intently into the grain of the table…or at least that is how it looked. I sat across from him, staring into his face. Or maybe by being this abnormal, he knew it would draw my attention and therefore he would still be getting all eyes on him. That must be it.

I snorted and closed my eyes in my own amusement, to think I thought he may be unpredictable even for a second. I just needed to think about it.

"What?"

I opened my eyes; he was looking at me now.

"I was just thinking."

"About?"

"You."

He was silent. I thought about what I said and realized how many ways it could be taken.

"And you laughed?"

I sighed. "No, that's not what I meant."

"What the hell else does it mean?"

"Never mind." I stood up…wow I just jinxed myself. Now I'm going to get the screaming, melodramatic Deidara.

"Why do you do that? You think you are just so much better than everyone, it's so damn annoying!" He slammed his fist on the table.

"No, Deidara, I do not."

"Then what the hell do you call it, huh?"

Damn it, I regret saying anything. I walked into the kitchen and started getting a glass of water.

"ANSWER ME!"

"Deidara, go away! You are such a child!" I turned around, setting the glass on the counter hard. "Yes I laughed. I laughed because you are so damn palpable. You whine and whine and complain and stamp you foot when things don't go your way and when they do; it still isn't good enough for you! Just grow up. The world isn't yours to dangle from your little finger; there are a million things more important than you. To everyone, to me…EVERYTHING is more important to me!" I don't know if it was just the sudden act of yelling but I felt dizzy and nauseous. Slowly I sat down on the ground and tried settling down.

"You're a fucking asshole."

I heard Deidara leave. I vomited a second later, the metallic taste of blood rising up my nasal. I closed my eyes and held my sides. I was so tired…I know I am not going to have much longer to put things in order.

"Itachi, are you okay?"

I looked up, "Kisame?"

"Yea, I was about to knock and tell you that Kakashi wants you to come see him…I ran into Deidara as he was on his way out. He said that I better come inside."

"Yea…I made him mad."

"I better get you into the hospital…this hasn't been happening very much has it?"

"No, the stuff they gave me helps."

Kisame helped me to my feet and we walked out of the apartment. As we headed to the hospital, I looked down the road for Deidara.

…

I had not been in my own apartment for such a long time. I had almost forgotten where it was, but now I was inside. I was furious. Itachi was so infuriating; I don't know why I am so drawn to him when I despise him so much…apparently not as much as he hates me.

I sat on my own bed, glaring at the wall.

"DEIDARA-SENPAI!"

I spun around, standing as I did so. "T-Tobi? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"I miss my senpai," his voice was pouty. Tobi stood casually against the wall on the other side of the bed.

"What the hell do you mean? You tried to kill me!" I suddenly remembered the change in him that day, it was… unsettling. All of a sudden I really just wanted to leave. "Tobi, go away or I will have to punish you."

"But, senpai! I just want you to come back…we need you. I was just following orders because you were not meant to leave! We NEED you back!"

"What do you mean?"  
"We need you to come back; we cannot do this without you!"

"Do what?"

"I cannot tell you now; Nagato-sama said I was not to say!" Tobi whined and scuffed his toe on the floor.

They needed me? Well, things had become less than desirable here. I wouldn't mind seeing some action again. "Nagato sent you?"  
"Yes, yes, yes! He was going to find me a new partner, but I asked him if I could try to get my Deidara back…he agreed that would be better and sent me to find you. He told me you would be in the Leaf Village, and I found you!" Abruptly, Tobi jumped on and over the bed, his arms spread to embrace me but I would not have it.

"Tobi don't touch me!" I sidestepped him easily. "Tobi…"

"Please come back! I can wait for you to get ready! You should wait until night to leave…they will be less likely to give us trouble."

I paused for the effect of thinking, but I had already made up my mind. "Yea, okay. Tobi, directly across from here is a small river, across from that are woods."

"Yes! I came thought those!"

"Yea okay, just go there and wait for me…I'll be there at around eight."

"Great! I will wait there for you Deidara-senpai!" Tobi exited out an open window, most likely where he came in.

I sighed and sat back down. I really wasn't looking foreword to more of Tobi, but this was a better option than staying in Konoha.

…

I stopped. Suigetsu had just walked out of the door directly in front of us. He stopped and we just stared at each other.

"Hi Kisame-senpai!" he broke the silence with w toothy smile. "I haven't seen very much of you!"

"Yea, glad to see you are doing better, kid."

"Hm," he closed his eyes and smiled. When his eyes opened, Suigetsu was looking right at me. "Itachi-san, I was actually just wanting to have a word with you…now would be perfect if you are not too busy?"

"Sure…Kisame, I'll come by later."

"Yea, I'll see you later."

Kisame left, the second he did so Suigetsu's fallacious smile disappeared. His eyes were grave, staring unblinkingly into my own.

"What did you need to say?"

He continued to stare at me. Just when I thought he would never move, he turned and started walking down the hall. Without a word I followed Suigetsu.

It had something to do with my brother, of that I am certain. We continued to walk past any streets where people were still out attending last minute errands by the fading light. It took longer than it should for me to realize where he was headed.

When we walked through the gates, the yellow tape long since fallen to the ground, I closed my eyes. I followed the sound of his feet on the unused street, past the houses of near and distant relatives…all long since dead. When he finally stopped I waited for him to speak before opening my eyes.

"Your brother…Sasuke…you loved him?" Suigetsu stood with his back to me.

"Yes," we were standing on a small wooden landing at the edge of a lake. I was glad Suigetsu was finally referring to Sasuke in the past tense.

"And you want to get revenge, don't you?"

I sighed, "Suigetsu…Sasuke was my world. Everything I ever did since the day he was born was to protect him. But all of my efforts only led to his demise…to seek revenge would be upon myself."

He turned to glare at me. "I meant on Orochimaru…for what he did to him."

"Sasuke was an idiot. Everything Orochimaru did was only made possible by Sasuke."

He was silent; this was probably the last thing Suigetsu would have wanted to hear.

"Suigetsu…revenge is not what needs to be focused on. But I do agree, without Orochimaru this world would be closer to the place I would have wanted my brother to live in."

Suigetsu turned away again, "So you do want him dead as well?"

"Yes."

"I know Konoha has been trying to be rid of him for years…I think it's about time something was REALLY done."

"Yes, there are current actions being made to take him and the remainder of the Akatsuki out. It is what they need our assistance for."

"Yes, but I want to make sure it gets done…I have an idea." He turned to me again, his violet eyes sincere and somber. "Itachi, I am going to need your help…I am sure this is going to work. Since I awoke here, this is all I could do…create this plan."

"What do you have in mind?"

After I left Suigetsu, he said he was going to stay with Zabuza, I walked along the river. It was dark and I was enjoying the cool breeze on my skin. Some people would think it is too chilly, but it suits me just fine.

Something catches my attention out of my peripheral. I almost don't turn but something makes me do so.

The figure was walking swiftly into the woods, his blonde hair catching the early moonlight.

"Deidara?"


	37. Unfold

I turned and saw Itachi rushing towards me. I refused to acknowledge him and walked towards the forest, my pace unwavering.

"Deidara," his hand gripped my shoulder but I shrugged it off. "Deidara!" He grabbed me harder.

"Go away!" I tried to pull away but he was trying equally hard to turn me towards him.

"Deidara, what the hell are you doing?"

"I said get off!" I turned, my hand raised. His hand on my wrist, stopping me, his cold eyes glaring at mine.

That's what I expected.

Instead I felt the heel of my hand hit him across the face.

We both froze. Itachi's eyes were half closed, averted from me. My own eyes were wide and my throat tight.

After a moment I took a quick step back. "I'm leaving, Itachi." I turned and continued to advance towards to woods.

I wanted him to stop me, to try and fight me. After I had walked a few feet into the forest I turned back and he was still just standing there.

There was a different hand on my shoulder. I turned…it was just Tobi.

"Good…let's get out-"

"What is Itachi doing here?" It was that voice again.

"Nothing. He was just trying to stop me, he shouldn't be any trouble."

He was silent. I could feel the change; it was as if an ancient malice emanated from his very being, extremely different from the Tobi I had grown accustomed to.

Abruptly, he reached out and grabbed my arm, yanking me closer. "You told him nothing? You never mentioned our meeting to anyone?"

"Yea, get the hell off of me," I tried to pull my arm away but he held it tight. I shouldn't have trusted him; this had been a bad idea. "I swear Tobi, if you don't let go…" my free hand was reaching into the pouch at my belt, containing the explosive clay that is my signature assault.

Just as my finger brushed the material, he grabbed my wrist.

"Deidara, you were always quick to fight weren't you?"

"Madara," I turned and Tobi looked past me at the man who had spoken. Itachi stood tranquilly just inside the woods, his face heavily shadowed in the diminished light beneath the trees. "Leave Konoha, you have no place here."

"And you do Itachi?" Tobi released me casually, which possibly pissed me off more than him grabbing me in the first place. Why did Itachi have to butt into everything? "Did the Land of Fire not turn on you as fast as it did on me? Were you not wronged, and yet here you are?"

"That was the past Madara. I did nothing illicit and they have acknowledged that. But that is no matter of yours, Madara. You left the village in shame, betraying your nation and your clan."

"And you have not, Itachi? Our past becomes one do you follow it far enough, or do you so lightly put such things from your mind, child?"

Itachi was silent. I watched him, though it would appear he were a statue, completely still but for a raging blaze in his eyes.

Madara? The name sounds familiar, but why he is calling Tobi by it and referring to him so familiarly is beyond me. Whatever it was, I have decided I just do not care. "We've chatted long enough, come on let's get out of here." I turned and began walking away, lifting me hand and pressing my palm on Tobi's shoulder as I did so, hoping he would leave without further exchange.

Tobi's hand moved faster than I could have possibly foreseen. He stopped me in my tracks, his hand painfully gripping my face, palm over my mouth.

"Be silent Deidara, let the grownups talk."

That was it; I reached into the small bag at my side and grabbed some clay, my hand doing the rest naturally. Tobi released me, reaching around in a flash and grabbing me bay the back of my hair. I had never seen his demonstration of speed nor strength before, but now I was thrown faster than I could have realized what happened.

There was a loud crunching sound, stars flew before my eyes and pain split across my face, centering on the bridge of my nose. I fell to my knees in front of the tree I was thrust into while my vision faded back in, I heard movement behind me. When I turned Itachi was standing where Tobi once was, holding a kunai and glaring up into the trees. I stood immediately, the injury out of my mind instantly, a perfectly molded clay bomb in my hand. Almost as soon as I stood, Itachi shoved me, I fell instantly.

I glowered up at him. "What the fuck Itachi?"

"Don't move, he's far beyond your skills…beyond my own as well. Just-"

"Well, well, well, Itachi, you-"

I didn't hear what he was saying; I sent the bomb in the direction of his voice and began making a second.

"Stop it," Itachi dove down and grabbed my wrists.

"Get off!"

"Stop!" He grabbed my wrists with his right hand and tried to shove me on my back with the other.

"Itachi, get off or I'll kill you…damn it." I struggled with him, only able to get one hand free for a moment before he grabbed it again. Finally he grabbed my head and pushed my face into his chest, smothering me and sending a fresh shot of pain through my face. I tried pushing away but he held me fast.

"Itachi, Konoha will not be so accepting of you forever…it is in their history, their nature. You may think this is right but it will fail you in the end."

Itachi was silent. After a minute it was obvious Tobi…or Madara had left. I had stopped struggling; I just lay quietly against him. I turned my head to get the pressure off of my face. When I did so Itachi released my hands and placed his own on my shoulder, the other still holding my head to his chest.

"Deidara…" He trailed off, probably changing his mind mid-sentence. "Deidara, I know what I said was cruel, but it is true. At least most of it…I think you know where I was just speaking out of aggravation."

I closed my eyes and resting my hand on his chest, noticing for the first time that blood was streaming from my most likely broken nose and had soiled a large area of his shirt. Is it so hard for him to just say he is sorry?

…

I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was a child I didn't recognize staring at me.

"Are you awake now?"

"Fuyu, why don't you come in here and help me?"

Fuyu…that's right, this is Zabuza-senpai's home.

"But he's awake now."

"Yea I'm up," I sat up and looked around. I hardly remembered getting here, my head had still been full of everything Itachi and I had discussed. I had been sleeping on the couch, other than that there was a chair and a small table with a lamp on it in this room. I looked into the kitchen where Zabuza was making breakfast.

I grabbed the blanket he gave me and pulled it back over my head and laid down. I was still very tired.

"Hey, no!" I could feel Fuyu pushing my arm. "Get up!"

"Fuyu, come here," the little boy mumbled something as he went into the kitchen.

Just when I thought I might fall back to sleep a baby started crying. THERE'S A BABY HERE?

Wait I heard about that. Konan was staying here with her daughter. Sure enough, I soon heard her voice soothing the child from a room down the hall. And just when the baby had quieted down there was a knock at the door.

I sat up. Obviously I wasn't going to sleep any more. Zabuza answered the door and let Kisame in. I nodded when he looked my way; he smiled toothily then turned back to Zabuza.

"Kakashi has asked us to come to a meeting…he says it's really important."

"Isn't it always?" Zabuza crossed his arms. "Okay, I suppose he wants us there immediately?"

"Yes, Itachi is waiting outside."

"Right."

"Daddy, no!" Fuyu sounded like he was about to cry as he tugged Zabuza's pants leg.

"I'll be right back…you can wait here with Konan."

"Actually he wants Konan too."

"Alright…" he turned to me.

Great… "Yea, I can stay here."

"Just let me get dressed real quick." Konan, without me noticing, had been standing at the end of the hall listening in. She was wearing a mid-thigh length light purple nightgown.

"Yea, I am going to meet up with Itachi. I'll see you there."

Zabuza nodded then turned and picked up his son.

"I'll see you around as well, Suigetsu-kun."

"Yea," I got up stretched my arms casually as Kisame left.

"Okay," Kona came out putting her hair up in a bun. "Suigetsu, Reimei just fell back to sleep. She shouldn't wake back up before I get back, but if she does just try holding her for a little bit, I just fed her so she shouldn't be hungry too soon."

"Uh huh…" crap…do I really have to watch a couple of kids?

"Yea, I have some hot cereal on the stove, it should be done now. You two can have some breakfast then just wait around for us to get back." He turned to Fuyu, "you can stay here with Suigetsu. Remember Suigetsu?"

Fuyu nodded, but still didn't look too happy about being left.

"Alright, I'll see you later." Zabuza kissed his forehead then set him on the chair before leaving.

After the door shut Fuyu looked over at me…we just stared at each other. This was going to be a long day.

…

Kakashi's face was serious yet unreadable. Itachi, Kisame, Hiayashi, Inoiochi, Shikaku, Chouza, and Choukichi-san sat in silence. When Zabuza and Konan were let in and took their seats, Kakashi stood.

"I am going to lead this meeting in the place of the Hokage since one has not yet been chosen. I have called everyone here, clan leaders who will take the places of the deceased elders, former Akatsuki members who have agreed to provide as much information to Konoha as they know, the leader of our ANBU Black Ops, and Yamato, an ANBU who I have placed complete trust in personally assisting me in pulling the village back together, to address what is the most pressing issue at hand. And that concern is the abduction of our own jinchuriki host, Naruto Uzumaki." He was silent for a moment, looking at all shinobi assembled. "While retrieving him would be ideal, we have to acknowledge that our village may not be able to dismiss enough ninja to complete this mission…plus there is the chance that it is already too late and the Akatsuki has already extracted the jinchuriki."

Everyone silently accredited these circumstances. I hated to think that Naruto may be dead, Sakura as well, she is still missing after all.

"In my reasoning, there is but one reasonable solution to this state of affairs. If we work on securing the remaining jinchuriki hosts, the Akatsuki will not be able to move foreword in their foul design."

"Secure the jinchuriki hosts?" Shikaku narrowed his brow, "you are a smart man, but I do not see how even you can figure this working. We do not even know how many remain, do we?"

"That brings me to the next step," Kakashi turned to Itachi and the rest of the former Akatsuki members. "Do you know which of the jinchuriki remain? I know our own data files hold very little information on them."

"Most of the remaining jinchuriki have been located; the Akatsuki was merely devising ways of getting to them."

"Which ones have NOT been located?"

"The eight tails we know is protected by Kumogakure, but even they hardly ever know his exact whereabouts. Then the six tails we tracked to being imprisoned within Kirigakure. Surely if we send word to the two villages to tighten security on their jinchuriki hosts, the issue you have brought up should no longer be relevant."

"Yes," Choukichi spoke now. "With the six tails in Kiri, imprisoned there no less, we should be more than insured."

"That is true; I guess there really is no problem after all Kakashi!" Chozou slapped the table. "We should just focus on naming a Hokage. Even if the eight tails is captured, Kiri would pose a formidable obstacle for the Akatsuki to overcome in retrieving the six tails."

Kakashi nodded, "I suppose this is true. We will need to contact both villages to verify-"

"You do not need to." Everyone turned to Zabuza.

"Zabuza?"

"The six tails jinchuriki is not in Kiri. The former mizukage released the false information that after the host had attempted to kill the man in charge of seeing over him he was caught and imprisoned."

"False information?"

"I had never heard of this Zabuza," Kisame looked quizzically at him.

"It was after you left, after I left in fact."

"Zabuza, are you sure they have not caught him since?"

"I am positive…it was one of the matters I kept an eye on even after leaving the Mist. It holds a significant importance to me. Thus, I have learned where Kirigakure has centered his location to."

"So if we can beat the Akatsuki to the six tails and bring him here, Konoha will once again have insurance that they will not succeed in their plans?" Shikaku looked to Kakashi who nodded as he thought all of this through.

"Right…Zabuza, Yamato, Choukichi; I will need to speak to you. As for the rest of you, the meeting is adjourned."

Choukichi, Zabuza, and I watched the others leave. Zabuza muttered something to Konan who nodded, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder before leaving. When the room was cleared, Kakashi addressed us.

"Choukichi, I will need you to file a mission to relocate the six tails jinchuriki to Konoha. I will send Yamato and Zabuza."

"Yes," Choukichi-san nodded and took his immediate leave.

"Zabuza, Yamato…you are to leave immediately. Find the six tails and do what you can to bring him back to Konoha."

"Right," I turned to Zabuza who merely nodded. He didn't look particularly pleased, but didn't appear to pose any opposition. Besides this was practically his idea.

"Well, I will see you two when you return."

We both left, Zabuza saying he would meet me at the end of the village after getting some things together. I agreed and left to the village entrance. Zabuza didn't leave me waiting for very long.

"Sorry, I needed to grab my sword and say goodbye to my son."

"Yea," we started sprinting, Zabuza slightly ahead so I could follow his lead. "Where exactly are we going?"

"Not far, thankfully. It is a small inhabited area in the foothills on the border of the land of fire. It is where the jinchuriki host, Utakata, was last seen."

"So he was seen there? Why was he never captured?"

"He makes it difficult. He doesn't trust Kiri, with good reason. He was only ever meant to be a weapon anyways."

I nodded; I know Zabuza despised the Mist, which was common knowledge. Obviously he would sympathize with a fellow rogue ninja who shared the same hate. "Zabuza, why is it that you 'kept an eye' on the jinchuriki? Was he one of your…followers from the attempted Mizukage assassination?"

"No, he was too young at the time." He remained silent for a moment. We ran in silence for a while, I was convinced that he was not going to answer me completely. "Back when I was the leader of ANBU I was given access to covert information. I found out some things about my own family I would have never known otherwise. Like every village, Kiri has its dirty secrets…probably more than all of the others combined. When my father was killed, I was ten. My mother was taken away the same day the news reached us, I never saw her again. In the files I uncovered I found out that my father was never on a mission when he was killed, he was taken out because he opposed the Mizukage's decision concerning containing the six tails. Because all jinchuriki hosts have to be direct relations to the village's kage and the mizukage had no children of his own, he chose the child of his sister's son as the host."

I nodded; it was the same in all villages. Having the jinchuriki hosts related to the village's leader made it easier to control them, it was also meant to prevent using them for wrongful ends though this has not worked in all of the villages.

"Anyways, my father, the Mizukage's nephew and my mother opposed their second son being used for his malicious purposes so they were taken out of the picture. This was the breaking point in my decision to revolt against the Mizukage. I never bothered finding Utakata; I just made sure the Kiri ANBU unit never got too close to him. He's my brother after all."


	38. Relations

"Over there, come on! Over there, over there, over there!"

"Okay," Fuyu pulled my hand as we walked. He was pointing at a small area of grass where eight other young children were playing. Two of the children were older than the others, two girls around twelve or thirteen years old. The other children were near Fuyu's age, none older than five.

"See," He stopped and pointed at the children. "They play over there."

"Do you play with them?"

Fuyu looked up at me and shook his head.

"Why not?"

"I don't know…"

Why the heck did he bring me over here then? I watched him turn back to the giggling kids, he stared longingly at them. "Do you want me to take you over there?"

He looked back up at me, his eyes answered for him.

"Come on then," He let me lead him this time. When we got close the two older girls and a couple of the other kids turned to us. "Hey, my friend wants to play with you." Fuyu looked uncertainly from behind my leg.

"Okay," A girl with pale hair and yellow eyes walked over. "What is his name?"

"Fuyu," the bright little girl walked around me to confront Fuyu directly.

"Hi, I'm Nariko."

"And I'm Saeko," another girl came over, tossing her dark hair over her shoulder."

"Hi," Fuyu let go of my hand and came followed the girls as they went around introducing their friends. Another young girl by the name of Tsubame and two boys who were apparently brothers named Hansuke and Hiroto.

"Hansuke and Hiroto are my cousins, they are the second oldest here because they are twins and those are my other cousins who are watching us, they are twins too." Nariko spoke proudly, crossing her arms over a high chest" They are Hokuto and Hiyori, they are going to be in the chuunin exams soon."

"What's a chuunin?"

I smiled and sat down; glad I could just relax and let Fuyu play with these kids. I looked over at the two older girls, Hokuto and Hiyori, who looked away as fast as I turned to them. They both sported the same hair and eyes as their young cousin, as well as the exact same features as one another. I wondered which one was which. Their brothers had darker hair, a sort of dirty blonde-light brown color. They too were completely identical and both were coveting a ball that Tsubame obviously wanted very much, but when Fuyu came over they abandoned their game. They were probably excited to have another boy to play with even if he was a little younger. I would imagine the thought of ruling over someone of the same sex would be appealing; such a thing is to older males as well.

I half watched the children playing as I allowed my mind to wander. I wonder where Zabuza is right now, and what exactly his mission was. When he returns it may become obvious but I had no idea how long that would be. He seemed to think that it would not take that long. Of course this could go either way; personally I hope he is back soon. I don't mind his son at all, but he is a familiar face and I would be more comfortable with Zabuza-senpai back in Konoha. Plus he is probably the only person here I trust completely.

I yawned and rested my elbow on my knee, then my chin on my hand. This was going to be a long day.

…

"We can probably stop for a minute or two." I looked up through the branches of the trees. The air was already cooler here though we wee not technically in the foothills yet. This land, not even twenty years ago, belonged to Kiri. In fact my parents owned a modest vacation house that couldn't be more than sixty miles from here. Who knows if it still stands now.

"How close are we?"

"Well I cannot be sure as to where he is exactly. But there is a village near by where we can ask around a bit."

"Yes, I know of it. It is mainly a family who secluded themselves from the rest of the world. Over the years other people have come to live there but it is still a very small and secluded community. They do not even have their own resources."

"Yea, they used to be part of Kiri. They disappeared with several other families, most inherits of kekkei genkai. But there were others who were segregated for other, similar reasons."

Yamato nodded. He looked though the trees silently, surveying the surroundings with dark, severe eyes.

"Yamato, how old are you?"

He turned towards me quizzically, silent for a moment. "Twenty-six…Why?"

"No reason, I just wasn't sure."

He nodded. So he was four years younger than me. I was honest when I said I was asking because I wasn't sure of his age. As far as I could tell he could be a few years older than me or barely into his twenties. I never really had any time alone with him or I would have asked earlier, for some reason it just bothered me since I met him. I knew he was a captain in the Konoha ANBU Black Ops; I was just curious exactly how much experience he must have had.

"Zabuza-san, you are the same age as Kakashi right?"

"Yea."

"Okay…" He was quiet for a moment. "Does it bother you leaving your son behind? Weren't you somewhat retired before all of this?"

"It has been difficult, but to be honest I never was comfortable leaving behind the life of a shinobi. It is what I was born into."

"The same, but I meant does it concern you that if you die your son would be placed wherever it is seen fit?" Yamato was looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"Well I suppose. When I was first required to leave him I was worried about things like that. It was always in the back of my mind but as time went on I became more focused on the mission. And now I know even if something were to happen to me, Konan would take care of him. She has really become pretty attached to him."

"That's good," Yamato looked away, his ebony eyes distant. "I don't think I have really seen her warm up to anyone, she always seems rather mysterious when I see her."

"Yea that was the immediate thought I had of her. Thought she was just a distant, cold kunoichi…but she has much more warm qualities when you get to know her. But I agree, she doesn't get very close to many people."

He nodded, "Well we should get going again."

"I suppose," we remained still for a moment longer before continuing on our way.

I only had to wonder what exactly I would tell Utakata. I had never formally met him; I had no idea what kind of person to expect. It may be too much to expect him to be much like either of our parents since he has never met either of them. But if I were to be so presumptuous as to expect to meet a mirror image of one of our parents, I hope it would not be our mother. It was not that I ever hated her, when I was young I fooled myself into believing I did. I thought she was the most horrible type of person. Spineless, self righteous, and intolerant. In the shadow of what I had made her out to be, our father was a saint. He did everything he could to protect our family; he loved my mother and me unreservedly. He would have died for us, and he did. I thought my mother had ran away after he died, abandoning me. I never heard otherwise till years later, and even then I hated her for not stopping this in any way possible. It wasn't until I was older that I realized I had never really despised her, I just couldn't stand her because I was just like her.


	39. Yoru's Sons

Yui of the Toudou family. The ancient samurai family who became merchants after the rise of shinobi. The merchants who worked their way up the ladder, becoming the greatest textile, fabric, and clothing importers, exporters, and manufacturers. Originally from Iwagakure, the Toudou family moved to Kiri because of the nation's strong influence on everything. It was the strongest of the nations, and they knew that if they ran their businesses out of there, their success would be inevitable. And they were successful. The Toudou family was practically nobility in Kirigakure.

Yui was the oldest daughter of the newest generation in the Toudou family. By her parents' wishes she married the nephew of the Mizukage, Momochi Yoru. Although their marriage was as close to arranged as the times allowed, my parents did love each other. Yoru's father died when Yoru had just become a chuunin. From that day his father's brother looked over the family. The Mizukage had never married nor had children of his own; family would have just got in the way of his ambitions. But being that he was the Mizukage and that he had loved his brother very much, he found it in him to look out for his nephew and widowed sister-in-law. And when the head of the Toudou family brought to him the prospect of tying the two families together, of course he agreed. Not only would it make him more powerful but Yoru could be free to continue his life as a ninja without ever worrying about money.

After I was born, my mother tried he hardest to drive my father away from the life of a shinobi, but he felt obliged to his uncle. Yui hated her husband's uncle. She knew he was the worst sort of person, a man after only his own ends. He was ruthless, yet so was she. She undermined him in anyway possible, including her attempts to end the Momochi family's role in the Seven. She wanted me to turn away from ninja and become the future head of the Toudou industry. Of course I looked up to my father and her persistence only made me mad at her. I wanted to be just like him. He was the image of a shinobi that everyone wanted in this world. He served his village and protected those who could not protect themselves. He was compassionate, devoted, and highly skilled. Not one person in Kiri did not think he wouldn't become Mizukage after his uncle. When he was killed, the village was in shock.

My father had decided that since I had rebelled against her and was now beyond the point of turning my back on the life of shinobi, they would have a second child. My mother was in love with this idea, little did either of them know that this was exactly what the Mizukage had been waiting for. He had done his best to secure the location of the sixtails for many years, but had to wait for a member of his family to have a new child before he could seal it in the name of the Mist Village. My father's death was reported as a failed mission, although many people couldn't see him getting killed in a rudimentary mission. Everyone suspected the Mizukage had found one reason or another to get rid of him. The leading suspicion was that he didn't want to be replaced and knew the elders would vie for Yoru becoming the mizukage at any time so he eradicated him to extend his rule. Within hours of her husband's death being reported Yui disappeared. Everyone was worried since she was very near the end of her pregnancy and were certain the stress of Yoru's death would cause her to go into labor at any time. I thought she had run away, abandoning me. After I joined ANBU I uncovered the files on the sixtails project. I hid the fact that I had found out that my father had denied his uncle permission to use his unborn child as a weapon for the village. This is why he had been killed, and the night after my mother was taken by force to where the jinchuriki had been secured. After the spirit was placed inside of my brother, she died. All records of my brother were elapsed, and the origin of the jinchuriki host was never disclosed.

Not long before I attempted killing the mizukage, I made a point to see my brother. He was being taken care of by a former Black Ops member who was in charge of training him for the use of the Mizukage. I told the man that I was checking on the progress of Utakata's training. He was skeptical but knew better than to deny the captain of the ANBU unit. He told me it was going well and let me see Utakata. He was only seven, sitting in the grass behind his master's house silently looking away from the village, into the expanse of sky above the water that separated Kiri from the rest of the ninja world. He had the same dark hair as me, the same as our father. When he turned to see who had come out to him, I left. I left knowing for certain that I would kill the mizukage for all of the wrongs he had ever done. I would take his place and make Kiri a place my father would have designed. The night I went to assassinate my father's uncle, the man who he had trusted and served all of his life, the image of my mother's golden eyes staring at me on the face of that boy never left.

I have never forgotten the image of Utakata as I had seen him in Kiri. As Yamato spoke to the man who came to meet us at the entrance of the small town I couldn't dissipate it from my mind. I didn't hear any of the words they exchanged; I merely followed Yamato as he left in the direction the man had pointed us in.

"He said he lives alone at the edge of the town, near the woods." Yamato looked at me as we walked to the end of the road. "Are you okay?"

"Yea, I was just thinking about something."

He nodded and continued silently. After passing the last group of small houses we looked ahead and saw one set aside from the others. It was on the edge of the woods, a small creek ran past in front of it and into the woods.

"I suppose that would be it," I wanted to hesitate but my legs kept moving to the door. We stayed staring at the door for a minute.

"What are you going to say to him?"

"I was just thinking about that." I knocked on the door and waited.

Nothing.

I knocked again.

"Maybe he isn't here." Yamato looked at me from the corner of his eye.

"Yea…"

"Hello?"

We both turned. A young man stood with his back against a tree looking us over blankly.

"Are you Utakata?" Yamato stepped foreword. Although Yamato was the one speaking to him, his eyes were frozen on me.

"Who do you think I am?"

It was him, I knew immediately. "That's him," Yamato looked back at me and nodded.

"We are from Konoha, we were sent to bring you back to the village."

His posture suddenly became much less relaxed. "I have no interest in the Villages."

"Yamato," I went to join him finally, "I think I should talk to him."

"Yea, that might be better."

Utakata watched me approach him closely. "You do not look like a Konoha native."

"Neither do you."

He was silent, then turned and walked into the woods, I followed him. Yamato remained where he was. He led me along the creek till it met with a larger flow of water. He stopped then turned abruptly.

"Are you from Kiri?"

"Formerly. My name is Momochi Zabuza."

He nodded. "I am familiar enough with your story, though I heard you had died, though that doesn't really matter I suppose. You are affiliated with Konoha now? I didn't know they did that."

"It was a special circumstance. They needed my help and I needed a place where I was no longer considered a threat."

"I see," he folded his arms and continued to stare straight at me past his dark hair. "So what does the Leaf Village want with me?"

"Konoha is just looking for the insurance that the Akatsuki do not attain all of the jinchuriki."

"You know I'm a host?"  
"Yes…I used to be in Kiri's ANBU unit. I know all about you."

"ANBU…they have quieted down somewhat since the title of mizukage finally changed hands."

"Yea." We stared silently at each other for a moment. "So will you come?"

"No." His quick answer startled me. He had made up his mind a while ago apparently. "I'm not an idiot. With the new Mizukage came affiliations with other nations, including Konoha which has always done its best to be on everyone's good side. I go there and it is only a matter of time before I am handed over to Kiri."

"That is not what we are intending to do."

"Not now, but eventually."

I had never considered this; it was a very good point. "I would never let it happen."

Finally his expression changed. Utakata raised his eyebrow in disbelief and then started laughing. "Right…as a fellow Kiri rogue? If anything you pose the most threat! You need to stay on Konoha's good side and them with Kiri." He put his hands on his hips and sneered at me. "I suppose all of this was YOUR plan anyways? Handing me over to Konoha to secure yourself further in their protection."

"That would make sense," I kept myself cool through his accusation. "But it is not the case." I'm going to have to tell him…but how the hell do I start?

"Oh really?" He frowned. "I would like to hear what exactly 'the case' is."

I sighed and looked around. I spotted a log and sat on it, taking off my sword and leaning it against a tree. My mind was still not made up on how I was going to explain all of this, but too late now. It was now or never.

"I knew your parents."

I looked up at him. His expression was that of surprise. He opened his mouth then closed it. After a moment he sat down beside me. "No one ever told me about them. I stopped asking eventually, and just accepted my master as my guardian."

"Yea, they did everything to cover up who your parents were. Many people would have been upset if they learned what the mizukage did. Instead they were delighted at the thought of a new weapon to further place Kirigakure in the forefront of the shinobi nations."

He nodded, he knew better than anyone that he was just a tool. "Who were they exactly?" He looked at me slowly, his eyes giving away his anticipation.

"Well," I looked away a picture of our parents coming to mind. It was taken on the day they were married, it was my father's favorite. It always bothered me how darkly my mother was dressed, she looked more like a mourning empress than a happy bride. "My…they" I sighed, why is this so hard? Should I even be putting this much thought into it? I turned back to Utakata who was still staring at me expectantly. "You have your mother's eyes." He swallowed and continued to look at me. "You look a lot more like her than your father, she wasn't from Kiri originally. Her family was from Iwagakure," I was just stalling now but he was taking everything in silently. "They were…or are still I would presume very wealthy and powerful from textile mercantile. And your father was one of the most distinguished shinobi Kirigakure has ever seen. His family was in the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist."

"The Seven?" He looked away for a moment. "So he was pretty important…Is that where you met him? You were in the Seven," He turned back to me.

"No, I met him long before that." Utakata looked confused. "He was my father."

As soon as I said it I wished I had found another way to say it. Suddenly I remembered being a child, with my father. He was the greatest thing in the world to me. He loved me and spent all the time he could with me. Utakata never had this. I almost felt ashamed that I had had a father.

He turned away silently, his hair hiding his face from view. "Utakata, I know you-"

"You know I what?" He stood up abruptly and turned to glare down at me. "Nineteen years! You waited nineteen years to come foreword? What, is it convenient now?" He took a step back. "This doesn't change anything…I go by what I said earlier. Everyone, even you, only want to use me…use all of the hosts. Is that not why I was born?" He turned and started to leave.

"STOP!" I was surprised that he actually stopped. "Accuse me all you want, refuse to acknowledge that I want nothing more than to help you. But never claim there was no one who ever loved you. You may have never known them but our parents died for you. Our father fought with every ounce of his being to protect you. They failed, but that does not mean they wanted what happened to you."

It felt like everything had stopped. I was sure that if I looked down at the river it would be still, but my eyes remained fixed on the back of my brother's head. He broke the silence with a shuddering breath.

"What took you so long?" He tried not to let his voice falter, but it was obvious that if he turned around I would see him cry.

I sighed. "It's a long story, I would be more than happy to tell you all about it in the comfort of my home in Konoha."

After another minute of silence he turned and we left to join Yamato.

…

He touched one of the blades, his pale face still in shock that I had gotten past him. What did he expect? That he could actually beat me? Or was he surprised he could only last as short of time as he did? I won't deny, Hidan put up a good fight.

He fell to his knees and weakly pulled his own scythe from his chest and abdomen. The rain washed blood into the ground. He suddenly choked, blood spraying into his usually tidily put back hair. Each strand was soaked with a mixture of rain and blood. He fell over, no longer having the strength to keep himself up.

I walked over and knelt in front of him. "Hidan, Hidan, Hidan," I grabbed his face and turned it towards me. He fought to keep his wine colored eyes open. "You did not think I was kidding when I said I would punish you? But do not worry, I am not nearly finished."


	40. Before Dawn

I watched him touching his nose gingerly with the tips of his slender fingers. His light hair was tucked behind his ears, I allowed my eyes to follow it down his back where it ended in whispers on his slender waist. Deidara was kneeling on the bathroom counter inspecting what damage was done to his face.

"Why does everyone here want to hit me in the face?"

I laughed and he looked around at me in surprise. I could see the faintest signs of the black eye given to him by Ibiki.

"You're an asshole, Itachi." He turned back to the mirror and continued his inspection of his features. He looked better with his hair out of his face, excluding the bruising. A lot younger too, it gave him the deceptive look of innocence. It would be more convincing if he never opened his mouth.

"You should have put ice on it, wouldn't have looked so bad."

"Ice hurts," He mumbled before hopping off of the counter. "Excuse me," he said it sarcastically but I stepped aside to let him walk past. I watched him walk down the hall and into the kitchen. Since he had tried leaving and I went after him he had been a bit more pleasant but he was obviously still upset. Deidara was just waiting for me to let my sentiments get the better of my rationality again, then I knew he would be nothing close to enjoyable to be around.

I guess I was letting Deidara take over as much of my thoughts as I could. I knew any time now the peace that had flowed into our lives would end. Suigetsu was determined to strike back against the Akatsuki as soon as possible. I wasn't sure as to where Kakashi would stand in all of this. If there was the slightest chance that Naruto could still be recovered I knew he would go for it. It was in his nature. But of all of this I had still heard no further word. Then again it had not been very long since the meeting, perhaps everything will fall together when Zabuza and Yamato return. If they succeed in bringing the sixtails to Konoha we will have to face the Akatsuki eventually. If not then Kakashi would surely try to advance on them. It would appear he is the one in charge since the Hokage and the elders were killed. He wouldn't become Hokage unless he had no choice, but despite his feelings towards the position of power he does have impressive skills in the place of a leader.

Deidara walked out of the kitchen holding a glass of water. He sat down on the couch silently in the dark. I had no intention to acknowledge his near abandonment. Deidara was a rash child who based his every action on emotion. In battle he had a good mind for strategy but it had become apparent that in social situations he was defensive and irrational. I just hope he doesn't do anything else that might compromise our position here.

Madara. I had nearly forgotten to include him in all of this. I am certain he was just trying to get Deidara out of Konoha for information. It wouldn't have gone far but just the fact that he was moving so boldly these days was a matter for concern. It is far easier seeing Orochimaru's plans destroyed before Madara's. And if what Suigetsu is planning falls through we can count on Orochimaru's demise…

"Itachi," Deidara interrupted my train of thought. I had hardly realized that I was still standing in the doorway of the bedroom.

"Yea, what is it?"

I could barely see his expression, but I could tell he wasn't looking directly at me. "What's going to happen?"

"Well that's vague." I walked into the living room and sat down next to him.

"Nevermind," he got up nearly as soon as I had sat down. "I'm tired." He left the glass on the table and went to go to bed. I remained sitting there in the dark. Not even the moon was visable in this dark.

…

I watched everyone leave for the second time in under twenty-four hours. Everyone but Itachi. Sure the meeting was inconvieniant, but at least it was successful. Yamato had contacted me and told me that the sixtails wanted to talk to the hokage as soon as he reached the village. Of course this was a problem since no one had taken that place yet. But now that is settled. I looked outside at the slowly encroaching light. They should be here soon enough, at least now we are ready.

"Itachi" I finally turned my attention to the Uchiha. "As soon as the sixtails is in Konoha, I plan on doing what we can to get back Naruto. And I wouldn't mind taking as many of those bastards as I can on my way out." I smiled, Itachi remained motionless. "Itachi, I know you would like as much as I would to see the end of Orochimaru. Will you be ready soon enough?"

He remained silent for a second. "I will be ready."


	41. Dawning

"Okay, you two wait here," I stepped up to the door. "I am going to talk to Kakashi."

"Right," Zabuza leaned against the wall, Utakata remained where he was. I hoped he wasn't upset about being taken straight to the Hokage. I just needed to make sure Kakashi had all of this sorted out.

I entered, closing the door behind me before approaching Kakashi. He was standing with his back to me, looking out of the window.

"Kakashi-san, how did it go?"

"It went how I expected it to go."  
So they all elected him, it was obvious that they would agree on Kakashi. He would have been the person I would choose had it been in my place to propose a new hokage. "So everything is settled, that's good I was afraid of leaving Utakata to get impatient while everything went through."

"That isn't quite the case. The man who came through the official election still needs to agree to the position." He turned around finally.

"You mean you weren't appointed?"

"Oh no I was…but naturally I declined."

"Declined?" I know Kakashi-senpai is far too modest and would never choose a place of this magnitude for himself, but to decline in such dire times? What could he have been thinking?

"Yes," he stepped foreword and placed his hand on the Hokage's desk. "Of course the others chose me, but I cannot accept this position right now. I have placed retrieving Naruto at top priority, having the hokage leave at a time like this wouldn't be a good idea."

"But others can bring him back, if it is at all possible."

"Yamato, how long have we known each other? You know this is something I have to see through personally. As hokage there is no way I could do that." I understood, Kakashi-senpai always had an undying devotion to his friends and teammates. "So I asked the assembly if they would accept a substitute I found suitable for the position. They agreed, knowing the urgency of the situation."

I nodded, this was reasonable enough. "Fine then, who is it?"

"You."

He said it so austerely I barely caught the meaning of the single word. When it struck me I couldn't find anything sensible to say. "…me?"

"Of course. I knew this scenario was inevitable and I took well enough time to consider my options. Don't sound so taken aback…I repeat HOW long have we known each other?"

"Kakashi," my senses had come back around, "there have to be better substitutes. There is no way I am ready for this duty! And how do you think this will be taken by the village? You may have been able to convince your long-time acquaintances I am the right choice, but what about everyone else?"

"Yamato, you follow the ways of the third as much as I do, and as much as Tsunade did. You are skilled and have a good head for these kinds of things, far better than I would. And as far as the village goes, even if the do not acknowledge these factors you are the only person alive with the abilities and blood of the first hokage. This alone is enough to convince most of the village that you will make a great leader. And I trust you."

I remained silent, mulling this all over. How could he think it would be that easy? But he sure made it sound convincing, would that be enough?

"Besides when I return you can find some way to brush all of this off on me if you really like. If you aren't comfortable with it, just consider it a temporary position. It will all be over when this is resolved."

I sighed. "Fine, I'll do this for you." I crossed my arms. What had I just agreed to? Even if Kakashi can take my place when all of this blows over, for the time being I am still hokage. The most important shinobi in the village….the thought was discomforting.

"Thank you, Yamato." We stayed perfectly still for a moment, I couldn't imagine anything to say. "Well, we better show in Utakata now."

"Wait…" damn it, I forgot about him. What would he think? Would he actually believe that he had been travelling with the village's leader this whole time? Probably not.

"It's fine," he opened the door and called Zabuza and Utakata inside. "Lord Hokage can speak with you now."

'Lord Hokage?' I nearly flinched at the title. I watched both Utakata and Zabuza look around the room for a moment. Zabuza turned back to Kakashi, but before he could speak Kakashi addressed me.

"Lord Yamato, you are familiar with Utakata by now so no need for introductions."

"You?" Utakata glared at me. Zabuza looked surprised but said nothing.

"Yes…it's a newly appointed position. We recently lost our hokage and have been in need for a replacement for a while."

Utakata took in my words for a moment. I could see him sizing me up, possibly trying to detect any deception. "Fine then…you where I stand already."

"Yes, I can assure you that Konoha will provide protection from the Akatsuki as well as Kirigakure if it is necessary. You are free to leave at any time."

He nodded, "I trust you."

I'm relieved there isn't any trouble. "That is good. We can provide accommodations for you. I only ask that you be discreet in your stay here. The fact that Konoha is housing another jinchuriki is covert, the less the people know the better."

"I understand…I have been living with no one knowing my true identity for quite a while now."

I nodded…I suppose if he were rash with his delicate position, Kiri would have caught up to him by now. "Thank you for understanding the circumstances."

"Right then, I will send for someone to show you to where you can stay while living here in Konoha." Kakashi spoke as he led them out of the door. A moment later he came back in. "Wasn't so hard now was it? I knew you could handle this sort of standing."

I let out the breath I felt had been building up since Kakashi let them in. "Let's just get all of this over with as fast as possible, huh?"

It was obvious he was smiling beneath his mask "I plan on it."

…

I opened the door and noted how unnaturally quiet it was. "Is anyone here?"

"Yea," Konan walked into the living room. "Suigetsu-kun took Fuyu out to play. They seem to be getting along pretty well."

"That's good," I sat down on the couch and ran my fingers through my short hair. Utakata and I had not exchanged any more words, but I knew I would have to sooner or later.

"So was the mission successful?"  
"Yea," she was waiting for me to continue. After a minute she came and sat next to me.

"So what was it all about? Or can you not tell me."

I smiled. "No, I am just having a hard time deciding on where to start."

"Hmm…" she placed her hand on my arm and rested her cheek on my shoulder.

"I suppose I am probably thinking too much about this."

"You do that."

I smiled. "I guess it really isn't that bad after all. It is just that it all came up so suddenly. It is all this with my brother-"

"You have a brother?"

"Yea," we had spoken about our families but I had never mentioned Utakata. Mostly because I had never known him "It's a long story, I'll go into it later."

She nodded. Of course she understood. Konan had a way of understanding whatever I felt perfectly.

"I think right now I need a nap."

She smiled, "me too." We stood up and went to get a little sleep before Suigetsu and Fuyu got back. It was still pretty early after all.


	42. Liaison

Again he sat out there…alone. Sure I wasn't happy with him, but to leave me like this? It was not that we were in a real relationship any ways, so I suppose I am just making a big deal out of nothing. Yet did it not seem like he wanted us as much as I did? Yet every time he made the slightest inclination he immediately drew back. It was as if Itachi were afraid to get close to me.

I sat up. I hated wanting him this much, but what could I really do? Now that he had given me a taste, I only wanted more. How could he not realize this? Itachi was just fine with ignoring me. He had had Kisame over earlier; they had been talking about some mission. A mission I strongly believed he made a point not to mention to me. Did he not trust me any more?

I got up and walked to the door, opening it without hesitation. I immediately saw him, sitting on the couch. He just stared foreword, the back of his head facing me. I walked out and stopped a few feet from him.

"Itachi?"

He didn't acknowledge me whatsoever. I walked around to stand in front of him, fully aware suddenly that I was only wearing boxers.

"Itachi, how long do plan on sitting here all these nights? Have you even slept recently?"

His shadowed eyes looked up at me emotionlessly. "I thought you might like your space."

No, no, no, no, no! You are such an idiot! "Well maybe I've had enough space? Besides this is your place, if you wanted to leave me alone you could have told me to leave!"

He looked away. "Okay."

I waited. But he said nothing more. "What are you doing anyways? Trying to see how long it takes before you collapse from lack of rest?"

"I was thinking."

"About?" suddenly I remembered what happened last time I asked that.

"The end of all of this."

"All of what?" I sat down next to him. I could sense him go rigid for a moment, and then relax to the warmth of having me suddenly so close.

"Kakashi is planning on leaving to attack Orochimaru any day now. I am going with…I was just thinking of how it may all end."

I watched him. Facing Orochimaru? In his state, was he mad? Did he intend to die? "Itachi, what could you possibly achieve by facing that creep?"

"Nothing you could imagine. But I do plan on destroying him."

"Was it what you and Kisame-san were talking about earlier? Why are you being so secretive about this? You know I am not with the Akatsuki, what happened two days ago was a fluke. Tobi…or Madara tricked me. I..." I tried to catch his eye but he remained staring foreword. "I don't want to leave you."

He glanced at me then quickly looked away. "Yes, it is something you need not get involved in regardless of your loyalties."

I felt my face burning. Times like these was when I wasn't sure if I loved or hated him more. "Why not? I could help, I'm sure Kisame would agree!"

He stood up. "Nevermind, I am going to bed."

I watched him walk into the bedroom and then into the bathroom, fuming at his words. I got up and marched in there, holding the door just as he was about to close it.

"Deidara, I am going to take a shower. Go to bed."

"DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" I was screaming. Why did he have to do this? It was always 'nevermind' with him! "WHY do you not want me to come with you?"

He glared at me, letting go of the door and walking into the bathroom, I followed. "It's dangerous. You don't need to be there, you have nothing in this."

Dangerous? Did he think he would be killed? I almost choked at the thought. "And Kisame does? What could he possibly have to do with your brother?"

"Deidara," he turned back to me, his stare intense. "Why do you WANT to be there?"

To fight? I was bored? I hated Orochimaru as well? All excuses would sound stupid coming from my mouth. Why not just have out with it? "Because I lo-"

Suddenly he clasped his hand over my mouth, he continued to push. I felt my head hit the mirror behind me. It broke, I squeezed my eyes shut. Itachi held me there for a moment; I could feel the sting of glass cutting the back of my head. When he let go I slid to the floor. Almost immediately he was down in front of me, hand on my throat. I opened my eyes and grabbed his wrist.

"Do not say that," He glared into my eyes as I struggled to breath. "Do you know what has happened to anyone who has ever loved me? DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID TO THEM?" His eyes turned virulent, his voice a hissing rasp. "My brother, who I loved back…do you know where he is? He's gone, he has been taken over…KILLED because of all I tried to do. Because I loved him," his grip tightened a little and he looked away with pain in his eyes. He pulled my face close to his, staring straight into my eyes. "You are an impractical child! You're innocence is nothing I want. A person as tainted as I can do nothing for you. Do not love me, do not trust me, you should have just stayed away."

My vision was blurred; by tears or lack of oxygen I am not sure which. He threw me away from him. I let my head hit the floor. I didn't have the strength to watch him go. I heard the front door open and close.

"I hate you," I whispered into the floor. I sat up and screamed at the top of my lungs. "I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

…

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"

I pressed my back against the door. My head felt light, I saw someone open their door and look at me. They stared for a moment before going back into their apartment. Deidara stopped screaming after a minute.

I needed to do that.

Why did I start this? Why did I lead him on? I was absorbed in my own greed. Why let him think I could allow him so close to me? This was my own fault.

Everything I said was true. I couldn't have him so close. He needed to want to leave me. I needed him to hate me.

The truth was I was using every ounce of strength to stop myself from going in there. I had seen his gentle side. I knew he was sitting there in distress. I wanted to ease his suffering.

Perhaps I was the one who had gotten too close.

Slowly I slid down and sat outside the door. The summer night was warm and easily erased my mind. I watched the sky lighten. When the world around me began its movements once again I got up and left.

…

I heard a firm knock on my door. Immediately I thought of Kakashi. Probably demanding I come do some work as hokage. I slowly got up to answer the call. When I opened the door I was surprised to find Sai outside.

"Sai! You're out of the hospital?"  
"Yea," he spoke in his quiet manner, like everything held a second meaning he wanted only you to hear. He had himself propped up on crutches and I could still see bandages past the ends of his sleeves. "May I come in Yamato-san?"

"Of course," luckily I had fallen asleep with my pants and shirt on last night. I was too exhausted even to strip down. "Why don't you have a seat, I could make some tea."

"That would be nice." He sat down slowly. Wore long pants that hid the bandages that surely covered his legs.

After I set the pot on the stove I joined him, sitting in the second of two chairs furnishing my living room. "It's really good to see you." Sadly with the past events I had forgotten my injured teammate. Now everything came flooding back. The sight of him in the hospital, the guilt, the hate for the system of shinobi placing a young boy in such a situation. The system I now led.

"Yes, I wanted to thank you for bringing me my art supplies. It made my stay a little less foreign."

"Familiarity is always a good thing. I was happy to do it."

"Happy…" he spoke the word as if it were something he had trouble remembering. It spilled from his lips like the name of an unheard of town may come from any other man. "Yamato-san, you grew up being trained in the Foundation just like I have. Yet you know this sensation? How are you aware of these? When I was younger I decided I had worked it all out…like a math equation." He paused for a moment. I was utterly silent, taking in his grave demeanor entirely. "I worked out that one emotion could not exist without its opposite. Happiness and sorrow, love and hate, despair and hope, revulsion and longing. Each could not be acknowledged without the previous existence of the other."

"I suppose that could make sense."

"Yes…but then which would come first? It is like the riddle of the hen and the egg. Which comes first? Hate or love? Excitement or fear?" He frowned, from the other room I could hear that the tea was ready but I was in no mind to leave. "It occurred to me after being assigned to squad seven. After discovering…friends. And what of that? Could they have been friends if I have never hated them? And could I learn any emotion if the opposite had never been there? If I have never felt anything?"

Everything was silent except for the sound of the pot boiling over in the kitchen. I took in his words carefully. Why was this bothering him now? Or had I just managed to bring it up without realizing it by what I had said? "Sai, in the Foundation you are conditioned to feel nothing. To take in every situation with logic and not emotion. You lose intuition, which is more important that any other skill you could learn in life." I quickly tried to tie together my thoughts. "If you could learn to feel nothing, then didn't you have to feel something at one point?" I remembered looking through his art book over Sakura's shoulder so long ago. Or had it really been long at all? I knew he must have been thinking of his brother in this moment for his face hinted at the slightest trace of true emotion following my words. "Maybe it doesn't have to make sense…it's just…inevitable."

"Emotions?"

"Yes," finally I left to pull the water off of the stove. I was confused by what I tried to explain as much as Sai must have been as I spoke. But now I realized it made perfect sense, in a way. You just cannot unlearn nature.

I took the time to prepare the two cups of tea, leaving him to try and make sense of this himself. Though he seems more like the sort of person who would try to over-analyze this when all he really needed to do was accept it. Sure I wasn't as unconditioned as a 'normal' person but I knew to allow emotions when they came. Kakashi had taught me that long ago. That every life is more important than any mission. That it is okay to be scared, to acknowledge pain. It didn't make you weak; it meant that you were really there.

I returned to the room slowly. Sai returned to his former expressionless stare. "So is there anything you need, or where you just stopping by to visit?" Stupid question. I couldn't think of anything else to say. I handed one of the cups to Sai.

"I wanted to thank you…and I also wondered if you knew anything more about Naruto and Sakura-chan."

I was glad he was satisfied with how the previous subject resolved. Yet had he not just been speaking of how much he cared for Naruto and Sakura? "Well…Naruto has been taken by the Akatsuki. Kakashi is planning to try and return him as soon as possible. As for Sakura there is no word." How had I not thought of this before? I would have to inquire on any news of our other teammate as soon as I saw Kakashi again.

"Okay." He sipped his tea quietly. "I think I need to go now."

"Alright," I stood and took the cup from him as he got up. "Try to take it easy, Sai."

"Yes, sir," we walked to the door and I opened it for him. He began stepping out but stopped and turned to face me again. "Yamato-san, I thanked you for bringing me my drawing materials, but I seemed to have forgotten to thank you for coming to see me in the first place."

"I was glad to…I had gotten worried."

"Worried…" his eyes became distant again. "I heard somewhere that is something you feel when you care for someone. Thank you Yamato-san, for caring." He smiled then turned to leave.

I felt like I should have said something, but I honestly had nothing in mind.

Poor kid…I don't suppose caring is as casual to him as I take it for.

I shut the door and returned to my cup of tea.


	43. untitled 3

So it begins.

"Three days. That is when I want to leave." Kakashi looked at every one of us with such a look of severity we knew this held more weight than any other mission any of us had ever taken on. "I called on all of you because you have had a significant part in the events leading up to this point. I believe all of you would be able to lend a very important hand in our goal, even if it is not in the mission itself."

I glanced at those assembled with me. Itachi, Kisame, Konan, Utakata, Sai, Suigetsu Head Captain Choukichi, and Yamato sat at the head of the assembly though he appeared more than happy to let Kakashi take the lead. I noticed the blond…Deidara…looked a little beaten up. It looked like he got his face shoved into a wall. Perhaps he had been getting into fights; he struck me as a bit hot-headed.

"Those of you who can assist the assassination of Orochimaru and the recovering of Uzumaki Naruto, I will need word by tomorrow. From there you will be given further instructions. This mission is of the utmost importance and will be accounted for as an ANBU Black Ops mission. The majority of you know the circumstances of such an assignment."

Konan touched my hand under the table. I tried not to look at her. I knew she just wanted to stay out of Konoha's problems, although I knew she was secretly creating her own ways of getting back at those who opposed her and Nagato eventually.

"That is all I have to say."

Yamato nodded then stood. "This meeting is over."

We all stood nearly simultaneously and left. Konan put her arm around mine silently. I looked down at her. I knew she would want to talk when we got back. For now we headed to the room where we had left Fuyu and Reimei. Shizune was watching them. Shizune was holding Reimei, feeding her from a bottle, while Fuyu was amusing himself by drawing on some paper she provided him. Next to my son sat a boy with violet hair who looked near his age. The other child held a pen but instead of drawing on the paper in front of him he watched Fuyu silently.

"Hi dad," Fuyu looked up at me then continued drawing. The other boy looked at me nervously.

"Hey, it's time to go home. Who's your new friend?"

"This is Tetsu, his dad was at the meeting too."

"Hi," The little boy continued to stare at me silently through crystalline blue eyes.

"I don't think he likes talking very much."

Suddenly Tetsu got up and ran past me. I turned and saw him promptly wrap his small arms around Captain Choukichi's leg.

"Hey Tetsu, makin' new friends huh?" He picked up his son and nodded at me. "Maybe you two could play later."

"Sure," he smiled and nodded again.

"Bye Tetsu," Fuyu waved and the other chilled turned and waved without a sound before Choukichi carried him out the door.

"Come on Fuyu, we are going home now."

"Ooooh-kaaaay," he stood up and gathered his papers in his arms, shifted them to his right arm then took my hand.

"Thank you Shizune," Konan gathered Reimei into her arms.

"It was no problem at all, they are very good children. Little Reimei has to be one of the quietest babes I have ever seen."

"Yes, she is very calm, like her father."

"Hm," Shizune smiled and waved goodbye.

We walked out of the building and out into the street. Fuyu shuffled along beside me, keeping an eye on his drawings.

"Do you want me to carry those?"

"Nope, I have them."

"Okay."

"Where did Suigetsu get off to?"

"Huh, I don't know." I hadn't even noticed he was gone. "Maybe he already left for the house. If not he will show up eventually." Then I saw Utakata. He was standing with his back against the wall of a shop, his fair eyes watching us slowly approach. When we were closer he stepped towards us.

"Zabuza-nii, I want to talk to you."

Konan looked at me "so this is him?" written in her expression. I smiled at her.

"Yea, I was wondering when we would get to see each other again. Do you want to come have lunch with us?"

Utakata was silent for a while, staring straight into my eyes. I felt Fuyu shift in the slightly uncomfortable hush. Utakata looked down at him, his eyes drawn to the subtle movement. A small smile broke his impassive expression.

"Sure, that would be nice." As we continued Utakata fell into step beside Fuyu who looked up at him curiously. Fuyu turned to me and pushed his papers into my free hand. I took them without much notice and was surprised at what my son did next. He instantly shot his newly freed hand into Utakata's. I could see my brother tense up for a moment, looking inquisitively at Fuyu. Then he smiled and wrapped his hand around the smaller one. Fuyu smiled, apparently pleased to be holding two hands. Utakata looked up at me and I smiled, things would turn out just fine, I am sure of it.

…

"Itachi-san, hey! And Suigetsu too, why don't you two come over here?" The two looked over at us. They appeared to have been headed somewhere, but it has been a while since I got to spend time with my former partner. He always seemed to be with Suigetsu or Deidara. But with both here now, maybe I could get a figure on what is going on. It appears that at least Itachi and Suigetsu are planning something; perhaps it has something to do with the attack Kakashi is developing.

After a moment Itachi came over. Suigetsu-kun hesitated but followed. Deidara had become very still and very silent. I had decided to treat the kid to lunch, he was looking a little worse for the wear and I really haven't had much time to spend with him either. I rather wanted to inquire as to how much he knew of Itachi's goings-on but the blond seemed unusually subdued, not the outspoken kid of the Akatsuki I was used to.

"Hello Kisame-san," Itachi stood in front of me.

"Hey Kisame-senpai, how are things?" Suigetsu smiled toothily. I had little experience with the teen, but I was no fool. I could tell he was in no right mood to be smiling but did so before illustrating his honest emotions.

"I might ask you the same. Things are well enough on my end though I feel a little shut-out by the lot of you."

Itachi's face remained stony while Suigetsu looked to him for any sign of what should be said next.

"Um, I am sorry you feel that way Kisame-senpai. Things have become confusing as of late."

"Hm," I turned to Deidara who was staring at either Itachi or Suigetsu, I couldn't really tell. Suigetsu looked at him as well, frowning at his relatively obtrusive yet delicate exclamation.

"Do you have something to say?" Suigetsu sounded oddly offended by such a small sound.

"No, I'm just fine. Perhaps you-"

"If you do not mind, Suigetsu and I need to talk. It was nice seeing you two but we have to go now."

Deidara glared straight at Itachi this time.

"Ah, well fair enough. I'm going to want to talk to you…later then?"

"Yes, Kisame…I'll come by later. We can discuss things then."

I suppose that would have to do. I nodded and they turned to leave, Suigetsu glaring past me at Deidara still.

"Itachi…" Itachi stopped but didn't turn. "I need to talk to you as well."

I could feel the tension increase dramatically. "I suppose you would." He still didn't turn but promptly left with Suigetsu.

"Kisame…let's get some sake."

"It's only lunch time Deidara…"

"I don't care."

"Huh…well I suppose if you wanted to I could buy some."

"Good…" He rested his chin on his hand moodily. "These are going to be the longest three days of my life."


	44. Bond

We didn't say anything. Konan looked quietly amused by all of this and Utakata just sort of seemed to be either deep in thought or silently accepting everything. As for myself I wondered how the day would go. I don't think Utakata would want to come to me just to cause problems, but then again I don't really know my kid brother. He struck me as pretty cool-headed, despite his outburst when we were reunited but that's excusable.

When we got home Utakata followed us inside hesitantly then paused to look around. Fuyu released our hands and ran into his room.

"Well he seems to like you." Konan smiled at Utakata. "Would you like something to drink? Water, tea, juice..."

"Tea would be great thank you…"

"Konan."

"Konan…I should be able to remember that."

"You can sit down for a minute Utakata, I'll be right back. Konan, want me to put Reimei in bed?"

"Yea, I think she's ready for a little midday nap."

I took Reimei from Konan, and sure enough she didn't even stir at being changed hands. I walked into our bedroom and placed her in the crib then turned and went down one more room. Fuyu was digging through his box of "toys". I never really bought my son any toys. He had a few back in the Land of Waves but all but one of those got left behind. But he managed to amuse himself with other things that he called his toys. A few stones that he picked up from the river, an origami bird Konan had given him, a pen, three pencils, a handkerchief, and other various items filled the small box.

I set his drawings on his bed. "Fuyu I want to talk to you for a second."

He hadn't really noticed I had come in, but now he stopped what he was doing and silently got up and walked to stand in font of me. He was a good boy, I remember Tsunami saying he would be a handful the second he learned to walk but it really hadn't been the case. Despite the common experience with young children, I found my own son to be quite docile and obedient.

I picked him up and set him on the bed next to me. "Fuyu, what were you doing?"

"I wanted to show him some of my toys."

"Do you know who 'he' is?"

Fuyu shook his head timidly. "Is he one of your friends, like Sui?"

"He is part of our family, Utakata is my brother. He is related to us like I am related to you."

He looked slightly confused, which made sense. He got that people had brothers and sister, but not having any of his own probably made it pretty hard to recognize relation past mother and father.

"Family are like very special friends. They are people who you would never let get hurt and who you know would never let you get hurt. They are your closest friends. When you have a brother or a sister, they are your best friends. Everyone around you may change but they are always there."

"So Utakata is your best friend?"

"Yes, he is like a best friend," is there really no easier way to explain this?

"Is Sui your brother too?"

"No."

"Is he my brother?"

"No, Suigetsu isn't related to us." I hope I never have to explain who Konan is in relation to him. Hopefully he would just get it eventually.

"Can he still be my friend?"

"Of course," I passed my fingers though his hair and Fuyu leaned into my side, resting his head against me. "Your hair is getting kinda long, we should cut it."

"Nooo…" he grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over his head. I laughed; he hated me cutting his hair.

"Okay we'll wait a little longer. So do you understand what I told you?"

"Yes, dad," he pulled his head out and looked up at me cheerfully. "Can I go now?"

"Yes you may," he jumped off of the bed, stumbled for a second, picked up a few things, and then raced back into the living room.

…

"What do you suppose Kisame-senpai wants?"

"Probably just wants to know what has been going on. He's a pretty quick guy, I do not doubt that he has figured out we are planning something on our own." Itachi didn't appear all that concerned about his former partner's inquiry. "Plus he concerns himself where he doesn't need too quite often. Sometimes I wonder how he can care at all, in his time he has doubtlessly seen dozens of his comrades fall."

"Huh…well its just natural I suppose."

"True." We continued walking through town.

"Itachi…we aren't going to tell him right? I mean anyone who would stop us or try to find another way that may end up not working would be a bad thing this short notice."

"I agree, its better left between you and I."

"Okay great," I was relieved. I wanted this to work, but people like Kisame and Zabuza would just get in the way. "Well then I suppose I should get back to Zabuza-senpai, I didn't mention I was going anywhere."

"Yea I should see if Kisame is home yet. I'll see you later then."

"Yea," Itachi turned around and headed back towards were Kisame-senpai was living. I wasn't sure if I liked Itachi or not. I still resented how what he had done drove Sasuke to the paths he took. Yet I did trust him, I believed that he did love his brother and that he was willing to help me.

"Sui!" Fuyu came running up to me. There was one of the guys who had been at the meeting sitting outside the front door.

"Hey," I patted the boy's head but my eyes didn't leave the young man. "Who's here?"

"It is my dad's brother," he grabbed my hand and tugged me along a bit.

"His what?"

"His brother…Dad explained it to me. It's like-"

"No I know what a brother is." I never knew he had a brother. Not like I was ever close to him by any means but it seems like something I would have heard of sometime prior.

"Do you have a brother?"

"Yes…well not now, he's dead," I understood yet barely paid mind to the question, I was still confused as to how senpai had a brother and never mentioned it. Not like it was really my buiseness.

"Fuyu stopped and I almost pulled him over, Zabuza's brother looked up at us. "He's dead?"

"Huh?" I looked down at Fuyu whose dark eyes were open wide.

"Your brother died? Are you sad?"

"Uh," I noticed the older boy was listening to every word. "I used to be, but it happened a long time ago." Okay not that long ago, but that wasn't really the point.

"How did he die?"

Fuck…why can't I just learn to watch what I say? Damn it, I really have no thought process do I? "Uh…he uh…died on a mission."

"Like the ones dad and you go on?" He looked worried.

Fuck… "No it was a different mission…not like the ones we do."

"Oh, you don't die on those missions right?"

"Yea, we always come back."

He smiled, "Okay." Fuyu continued walking back up to his uncle who was holding some sort of thin, metal tube and a bottle. "Look at what he does. Utakata-san, do it again!"

Utakata smiled and dipped the tube into the bottle then took it out and brought it to his lips. He blew lightly and several dozen bubbles came drifting out causing Fuyu to giggle with joy. He reached out and popped one, and then another. He looked up at me grinning then continued his little game.

"Suigetsu, is that you?"

"Yea," I stepped through the open door and into the kitchen where Zabuza was apparently trying to make something. "Itachi-sama wanted to have a word with me."

He nodded without looking at me. I knew he wouldn't have asked where I was but he had been wondering it. "You probably met Utakata-nii outside?"

"Yes, I didn't know you had a brother."

"Not many people do…but particular events called for it to be brought forth."

"Huh," I watched him for a moment. Zabuza-senpai didn't appear to want to talk about his any more. "So where is Konan-san?"

"She went out to get some milk, we ran out."

"Oh okay."

Silence.

"I think I want to have a talk with you later." He still hadn't looked at me.

"Yea that's fine, I'm not going anywhere."  
"Mmhmm," finally he turned from what he was doing and faced me. Senpai's expression was unreadable. "Well why don't you go back out and better acquaint yourself with Utakata? He may like that; I think he knew your brother. They were near the same age at least."

"Yea okay," I waited until he had turned back away from me before I went back outside.

Utakata sat with a light bemused look on his face while Fuyu watched the bubbles drift higher into the dying summer sky. He did not look very much like senpai, then again my brother and I didn't look much like our father. I sat down on the other side of the doorway from him yet didn't take my eyes away. After a moment he looked at me.

"Hi," I nodded at him then looked away. "You're Suigetsu right?"

"Yea."

"Sui," Fuyu suddenly ran over and jumped into my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck.

I laughed nonchalantly, "what is it?"

"I think you ARE my brother."

"Heh, what?" I looked over at Utakata who was merely watching silently. "Where would you get an idea like that?"

"Dad said that your brother is someone you care about and who cares about you and you don't ever want anything bad to happen to them ever."

I smiled, "You're cute."

"I'm not being cute, I'm serious!" He sat back and frowned at me, Utakata let out a small laugh.

"Oh okay," Fuyu fell back onto my chest and wrapped his tiny arms back around my neck. I suddenly felt very fatigued and a familiar sick was rising in me. I gently started pushing Fuyu off.

"What is it?"

"Nothing…I have to go." As I started to get up I felt pain shoot through me. I stood up but had to catch myself on the doorframe.

"Are you okay?" Before I squeezed my eyes shut I saw Utakata starting to get up as well.

"Yea it's-"

My hand shot to my mouth, covering it. I stumbled into the house and started towards the bathroom. Suddenly my knees gave out under me and I aimed to catch myself on the small table next to the couch but just ended up knocking it over along with the lamp that was on it.

Damn it, damn it, damn it…

"Sui," I felt Fuyu's hands on my arm.

"Fuyu, step back," I felt a strong hand on my shoulder.

Fuck…why now? Since I had been healed back at the hideout I had been doing so good. I hadn't gotten sick like this more than a few times and it had never felt this bad. This still couldn't hold a candle to what it was like before, but it was certainly worse in a noticeable amount. And of course it couldn't hold out till after the mission.

I started getting up on my own while tying not to vomit more until I was at least in the bathroom but I fell down again. This time my hand landed on something cold and sharp that broke as it split through the skin of my palm. The lamp…that's right. I must have broken it.

I felt Zabuza wrap an arm around me and lift me off of my feet for the most part, my toe dragged on the floor as he carried me down the hall.

"Utakata, can you keep Fuyu out there?"

"Yea," I could here Fuyu crying and Utakata trying to comfort him.

Zabuza set me on my knees in front of the toilet. I spat a few times. That wasn't so bad, still a little hazy but that will pass…

Abruptly I heaved foreword and vomited into the bowl. I tried gasping for air but could only gag and spit. It hurt…every heave and gasp sent waves of pain through my body. I felt bad…I knew it must sound horrible, I hope poor Fuyu was taken back outside or something. Slowly the vomiting stopped and the pain subsided. I noticed for the first time that Zabuza-senpai hadn't left; his hand was on my shoulder.

I remained still, sniffling indiscreetly and coughing occasionally. After a few more minutes I spat for the final time then sat back slowly. I just noticed that my hand stung. I moved numbly to look at it. There was one large gash that I could see but there were probably smaller ones around it. For how insignificant it seemed there was quite the puddle of blood on the tiled floor. Zabuza stood up; I heard the sink running and remained staring into my hand. This isn't fair…I am used to shit like this disappearing in seconds.

"Here," senpai knelt back down next to me with a wet washcloth in his hand. I let him clean my hand, it hurt a bit but I really don't mind…I'm too tired to really notice anyways.

I sank down and rested my forehead on my knees and closed my eyes. I felt Zabuza wrapping my hand after a minute more of cleaning. I heard Konan's footsteps in the hall before she came in.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yea, I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay, well I'll be taking care of lunch; I think it's almost done."

"Alright," I heard her leave after a second. "I don't suppose you want to eat?"

I didn't answer; I just wanted to go to sleep. Instead of letting my hand drop when he as finished, Zabuza-senpai put my arm over his shoulder then picked me up. I felt slightly awkward being held like this by my senpai, but like that day in the hospital I was too out of it to care. Though that day was more emotional exhaustion than physical, I think.

I didn't even notice until he laid me down that he had taken me into his room. Zabuza silently pulled the blankets over me and up to my shoulder.

"Get some rest Suigetsu-kun."

"Thank you."

Zabuza remained there for a minute then patted my shoulder and left. I managed to stay awake just long enough for him to leave.

…

He didn't show up.

I waited for him; I didn't want to "talk". But I decided to be reasonable and let him have his say in this. But he wasn't here.

I stared out the window at the purple sky, a strip of red just on the horizon.

Deidara was being surprisingly stubborn about all of this. I had expected him not to even show up at the meeting; even leaving the village was a predictable action. But going so far as to confront me was beyond what I would have expected.

Yet he wasn't here.

Did it matter? May be he decided not to go on the mission after thinking it through and realized speaking to me would just be a waist of time.

But there was something in his eyes. Torment, anger, sorrow, yet devotion.

Even if I accepted how he felt, such a thing was unattainable for me. He was unattainable.

But despite not knowing what to do I won't just let this build up inside of me. As far as I need to let myself get concerned, his feelings aren't real, he isn't real.

Yet that short time he spent here with me was so comfortable. Confusing…but comfortable. It was like I had come home, Deidara wanted me there…convinced himself he needed me. And I was nearly convinced I needed him.

Is that what love is?

I turned away, wondering if it was worth going to bed when there was a knock at the door. I hesitated then walked over and opened it.

Deidara wouldn't look at me. He was crushed, but he wasn't numb. I could see it in his face. His passion, his pain…they were only proving his naivety. Yet that he was here now demonstrated his sincerity, though I really wish it didn't.

"Do you want to come in?"

He exhaled noisily, as if he had been holding his breath until I spoke. "Yea."

I stepped aside and he slowly crossed the threshold. I closed the door then walked into the living room, stopping where I had been standing for so long. I stared at the sky waiting for him to say something, or move. Do anything but stand there letting me think about him. Why couldn't he have just cooperated and left me alone? Hated me.

"Deidara," I turned and was met by his fist in my face. I stumbled back and fell on my ass, mostly out of surprise, he can't really hit hard at all.

"That's for hitting me."

"I did it hoping to knock some sense into you."

Deidara squinted down at me. "Sense about what?"  
"You know what…you may be difficult to deal with…irrational, but you are not an idiot."

"I'M IRRATIONAL? What's wrong with you? How am I irrational? At least I am honest!" His voice had risen; luckily it is early enough most of my neighbors would be too deep in sleep to have noticed.

"Deidara, things like this never lead anywhere good. You can't just devote yourself to someone; someone always gets hurt in the end."

"Stop making this about your brother!"

We were both silent for a long time, I couldn't think of anything to say back. He had crossed a line he barely recognized.

"He may have fucked up, or you may have or probably both of you messed things up at some point. It happens but you cannot go through life thinking you will never feel for anyone else ever again. No one is the same; you just have to give everyone a chance."

"…" I lay back abruptly. I don't know if he thought I passed out or something, but Deidara rushed over to me. When he noticed I was just staring up at the ceiling he relaxed. "Deidara…At first I thought you were just yelling shit to upset me." Great, I'm actually cussing now…I hope he's happy. "But it sounds like you have something real to say." I shifted my eyes to look at him.

His cheeks flushed and he swallowed. "Yea…I said it."

"Your voice is shaking." He looked away. "And what I meant was that it sounds like you know more about this…feeling than I would have ever perceived, though you know that."

He remained looking away.

"Want to make me see your side of this?"

"No."

"Is that not why you came here?"  
He sighed and sat down. "Yea…it is. But I do not want to talk about that."

"I want you to talk about it."

"Fuck off." He didn't mean it. He was just stalling; my guess is he has wanted to talk about this for a long time.

"Deidara, why did you leave Iwagakure?"

"Because I broke a law, to get a stronger jutsu."

"Why did you need a stronger jutsu?" I reached my arms up and crossed them behind my head casually.

He sighed again, this time closing his eyes and keeping them that way. "Fine…"


	45. Bond pt 2

CONFUSION WARNING!

Well this first part is picking up (obviously) where the last part left off, BUT the p.o.v. is changed sort-of. Instead of telling this like Dei-chan is telling a story (b/c that would just get unbearably boring) I am going to tell this like he is having a flashback or something. But keep in mind its still just him talking to Itachi.

And now that I have confused even myself -_- let us begin!

…

I looked over at the other students. I was one of the youngest, and one of sensei's favorites. Unlike most of these children I had never been given any real chances in life. I was cast aside, proven how ugly this fucking world is at a cruelly young age.

Then sensei came along.

He was an odd little man, made me laugh. He was only about as tall as me and had rather comical features. Beady eyes, a big ugly nose, a round bald head. But he was kind. Everything was beautiful since he discovered my talent.

Unlike other countries, the Stone has learned to embrace holders of kekkei genkai. As children they were trained to serve the village and were respected for it. There were some people who feared them, a few even despised them, but it wasn't the common feeling by any means.

"Deidara-chan, sensei is talking to you!"

"Huh?" My head snapped back around to face Onoki-sensei, my shoulder-length blonde hair whipping around to hit me in the face before settling back in place.

"I asked you, Deidara, what is the purpose of this exercise?"

"Um," I looked down at the glass sphere in front of me. It was surrounded by a couple remaining marbles and the small shards of others. We were trying to explode the marbles around our spheres without breaking them. "We are trying to gain better control of our chakra."

"Very good," Onoki-sensei continued on with whatever it was he was talking about, but once again I allowed my mind to wander.

I yawned. This was all very boring. I could do all of the exercises and I was by far the best in the class yet I couldn't move on to harder tasks. According to sensei it was more important for the Squad to advance as a whole than honing in on our individual skills. This was extraordinarily annoying. I desired perfecting my talents, and it felt like I was the only one concerned with doing so.

When we were free to go home sensei called me over.

"Deidara, once again you have not been paying attention. Is there something on your mind?"

"Yes, sensei." I shifted uncomfortably. Onoki-sensei was the Tsuchikage, which meant he was constantly surrounded by his guards who made me uneasy. I saw them as nothing but stupid brutes. They sat around yawning and mumbling amongst each other as they watched us train. "I want to get further in my training but everyone is holding me back. It gets very trying, sitting there and waiting for everyone to catch up."

One of the guards snickered.

"Deidara-kun, the Squad is only as strong as its weakest member."

"Yea...Uma-kun." I muttered bitterly.

"Ha," Onoki-sensei laughed bluntly. "Yes, Uma struggles to grasp many of the exercises. I suppose he would rather be doing other things boys his age like to do, which isn't a bad thing you know."

"Are you saying that it is a good thing to be a delinquent?"

"No, no, no. Just find a good midground. Not everything has to be about training, you have your whole life to get better. I am an old man yet I learn new things from you children every day! How old are you now, Deidara?"

"Almost twelve years old."

"Is there nothing you like to do in your spare time?"

"Um…I like to make things out of clay."

"Clay?" Onoki raised one bushy eyebrow. "What sorts of things?"

"Like little figures."

"Of people, like dolls?"

"No, I don't like people." Once again sensei looked a bit quizzical, I suppose that sounded weird. "I like making things like birds and flowers, beautiful things."

Onoki-sensei smiled. "See that is a nice wholesome thing. I am actually quite interested in seeing these little figures of yours Deidara-kun." He placed an aged hand on my shoulder and stated leading me towards the gate of the training ground. "Why don't you focus more on making these little clay figures better instead of focusing on not being able to get farther in training at the moment. If you are doing something you enjoy then perhaps the time you wait for everyone to catch up will seem a little shorter, no?"

"I suppose it would."

"Well why don't you show me some of these little clay-things? Tomorrow after training would be good."

"Yea I guess."

"Right then, I will see you tomorrow Deidara-kun."

"Yes Onoki-sensei."

I walked home; still a bit annoyed that sensei wouldn't let me get farther than the rest of the Squad. Yet I felt a little better after hearing him take an interest in my art. I don't really talk to anyone, and no one has seen my clay sculptures before. I just considered them something fun to do and I love it when I can get them to turn out perfect.

I sat unusually attentive all though training the next day. It seemed to go by so fast, and finally I met with sensei in his office.

He let the rest of his bodyguards to their own devices and had only two in the room with us. Both were shinobi in their twenties, one looked like he may be slightly younger than the other.

"Now Deidara-kun," we both sat down across from one another at his writing table, "you were going to show me some of the little figures you like to make."

"Yes," I set the bag I had brought on the desk and opened it. Tenderly I took out several of the little sculptures I had made…the best ones.

Sensei picked them up one by one and turned them over in his hands silently. He took a generous amount of time doing this before he spoke.

"These are quite good Deidara, I am impressed."

I smiled sincerely. "Thank you, sensei."

We spent the next hour discussing how I made them, what my inspirations were, and different ways to try while shaping them. I never realized that my little pastime could be such an item for discussion. Finally sensei looked at the time and declared we should continue this another time.

"I really enjoyed this time Deidara; I would like to see how much you can grow in this."

"Yes sir, I will be sure to make more."

He smiled and showed me to the door. He hesitated a moment then turned to his guards. "Kumo, Gun, would you be so benevolent as to show my friend here home before you retire? It has gotten quite late while we have been enjoying ourselves."

"Sure, my lord," the guard with pale hair and curiously dark eyes answered, he was the younger-looking one of the two. The other, a brawny man with dark hair and amber eyes, merely nodded once.

"Very good, may you all have an agreeable night."

"Goodnight sensei." I followed the two men out the door, holding my bag to my chest. It wasn't a very small bag and was rather tricky thing to hold due to the slapdash shapes, sizes, and masses of it contents.

When we walked onto the street the fair-haired shinobi turned to me. "So where do you live, kid?"

"Down that way a ways." I pointed to my left while trying to hold my pack with one arm.

He made some noise of slight annoyance.

"Kumo, why don't you go ahead home? I live in that direction so it's no trouble, and I don't think we both need to go."

"Yea okay, thanks for that Gun-san. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Bright and early."

"Guh, don't remind me," Kumo turned and waved his hand slightly as he left.

Gun watched him go for a moment then looked down at me. "Kuro's been having a bit of a nasty day…not really any of your business though, huh? I wouldn't want him to show up any crankier tomorrow than he has been all week, you know?" The man laughed lightly. "Well then let's go."

"Okay."

"Here, I'll get this for you." Gun suddenly grabbed my bag from my hands before I had time to protest. Sure he could carry it easier but I would rather make sure they got home in one piece myself. "Won't your parents ask why you are out this late?"

"I don't live with them any more."

"Really?" I could feel him looking down onto me, I wish he wouldn't. I felt uncomfortable under the older shinobi's stare. "Hm, I was probably five or six years older than you before I left my parents' home. Then again I suppose everyone's situation is different, huh?"

"I guess," I remained looking at my feet as we walked. Luckily I live not too far from the training grounds; I didn't really appreciate Gun-san's company. We came up pretty quick on the strip of apartments I lived in. "It's right here," I pointed at my door as I turned towards it.

"Hm, this is a pretty quiet part of the village isn't it?"

I really wish he would just shut up and go. "Yea, not many people live here long. Both of the people who lived on either side of me moved out last month and haven't been replaced yet."

"Ah, I see. I live down this same road, near the end though. They have some good places to eat down there," he chuckled.

"Yea I think I've been down there before," I pushed the key into the lock and opened my door. "Well goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow…or, the next day I guess there's no training tomorrow." I closed the door only to be abruptly stopped.

I remained frozen, my eyes wide. I looked up slowly at his large fingers on the edge of the door. Gun suddenly pushed it back open.

"You almost forgot these," he put his arm through the door and held out my pack.

I exhaled silently, "Thank you Gun-san."

I let go of the door and took my bag into my hand. Gun swiftly pushed himself through the door and shut it behind him. I took a large step back. He reached foreword and took my bag from my hands, tossing it onto the floor.

"Come here," Gun grabbed my shoulder and pulled me closer. He began pushing my shirt over my shoulder while directing me to look up at him with his other hand.

Suddenly my mobility returned.

I pushed away from him, but Gun is much stronger than I. He pulled me back against him and I pushed back again. He had slipped his hand down the back of my shirt which was now open and barely draped across my narrow shoulders.

"GET OFF! STOP!"

"Come here," Gun sounded like he was about to laugh, as if this was the most amusing thing he has ever seen.

He pulled my shirt down and roughly over one of my arms, I heard the fabric tear as I struggled against his feat. Gun moved foreword, pushing me against the wall which made it near impossible to push away. Abruptly he pressed his face against mine, crushing my lips against my teeth. I tasted blood as he roughly tried getting my mouth open with his own but I turned my head and screamed for the first time. This seemed to electrify him even more.

"Gun, get off! Stop it!" I lifted my leg to try kicking him off but he took advantage of my unfortunate position and thrust into me, grinding against me brutally. I tried clawing at his face as I was lifted off of my feet but he merely grabbed both of my wrists in his hand and held my arms above my head.

I felt tears burning my eyes as I writhed under his violent assault. Gun turned me around and pushed his free hand down the front of my pants. I froze for a second than struggled twice as hard as he painfully grabbed and fondled what no one has ever touched before. I got an arm free and threw my elbow back into his face. I repeated this motion and he let go.

I took the chance to turn around and try hitting him again but was thrown to the ground by a powerful strike on the left side of my face. I must have blacked out, but not for very long. When my vision cleared Gun was dragging me by my arm away from the door and into the middle of what I used as a dining room and living room. It was sparsely furnished but that didn't matter at the moment, Gun didn't appear to care if this was done on the floor or not.

I was still too dazed to completely take in that my pants were being pulled down to my ankles. I lay face-down completely still until I felt something get painfully forced into my entrance. I gasped loudly and started pushing myself up, my every muscle clenching in response to the penetration.

Gun twisted his fingers in my hair and pulled me up further. He roughly kissed and bit along my neck and shoulder, marring the sensitive flesh. He pushed me back onto the floor and removed what I realized was only a finger. In the moment before he forced his sex into my virginal cavity I felt fear rise in me. I felt like I was going to get sick, I held my breath and tried to close my eyes in vain.

The pain threatened to tear me in two. I screamed unrestrainedly, my hands grasping at the floorboards. I'm sure I could barely make out the unpleasant feeling of the skin separating from more than one of my nails. Gun nearly pulled out then thrust in violently as he grabbed my hip with bruising force. I continued to scream and moan. I'm not sure when I stopped, and I'm not sure when the pain became unnoticeable. The next thing I could recognize was Gun walking out the door.

I slowly curled into the tightest ball I could, pushing my face into my knees and sobbing till I drifted into sleep from exhaustion.

…

I hadn't noticed when I sat up. I sat there, back rigid and throat tight.

"In the morning I decided I needed to become stronger, even if it meant defying my sensei…" Deidara sniffled into his arms which were wrapped tightly around his knees. "I stole the forbidden jutsu, and when Lord Tsuchikage sent ninja after me Gun was amongst them. I took them all out one by one and saved him for last. I blew off the lower half of his body and watched him bleed to death…" His voice broke and he gripped his arms, digging his nails into the flesh. "I never wanted to be bested again; I needed to be able to protect myself…to never be overpowered. And I succeeded until you…" Deidara swallowed trying to regain what little composure he formerly had. "You beat me but I didn't feel threatened. It wasn't domination, or humiliation, or pain you aimed for…you just elegantly put yourself above me then stepped down. I admired that…"

I swallowed, "Deidara…" the knot that had been in my throat did not completely release but I found myself able to speak although I knew not what to say.

At the sound of me saying his name, Deidara caved in. He sobbed loudly into his arms, squeezing his cerulean eyes tightly shut. I watched him for a moment. I could see the terrified little boy from years before; I could see it the night I tried deterring his affections for me. And I remembered a different little boy the day we met. He gazed up at me in awe, and after a moment the tiniest, sweetest of smiles pulled at the frame of his expression. I was too absorbed in getting the mission over with; I was far too concerned with my own ends to notice much about anyone then. I had even taken Kisame-san's camaraderie too lightly. And here I had missed what could have been one of the most important moments in another person's life because I was too immersed in the only thing that has concerned me for years; my brother.

How much more have I missed?

What could I have achieved if all of this had somehow been avoided?

It didn't matter now. All that mattered in the here and now was this person I had hurt possibly worse than anyone. I would have never considered my actions of the recent past as cruel as I did now. But now I realized that he must have seen the violence and heedlessness of Gun in me that night. Me…the person he had fallen in love with because I was so unlike this person from his past.

I reached out and placed my palm on his head. Deidara's hair was so soft and fine. I ran my fingers through it and to his shoulder. I stiffly pulled him close, placing my forehead on his head. Then, like an afterthought, moved and kissed the fair hair on his head.

I'm really going to need a bit more practice in the affection department.

Deidara slowly, almost uncertainly, wrapped his slender arms around my neck. I returned this by pulling him to my chest, embracing him tightly.

Deidara continued to sob into my shoulder. After a moment I noticed I had unconsciously begun caressing his back comfortingly. Maybe I didn't need so much practice…just inspiration.

We were lying on the floor when I heard a knock at the door that could only be Kisame.

"Just a minute!" I looked at Deidara who had fallen asleep, his hand resting on my chest. I could feel my every heartbeat hit his palm gently. For the past hour…two hours…a few…I am not sure…but it had been the only thing I thought of. And now, watching Deidara open his eyes and slowly look up into my face, I don't think I would mind it being this way after-all.

For the first time…_I_ kissed_ him_.


	46. Dusk

I looked at the shinobi gathered. Zabuza, Choukichi, Kakashi, Itachi, Suigetsu, Deidara, and Kisame. They had all agreed to go with Kakashi to retrieve Naruto and, if at all possible, kill Orochimaru and destroy as much of what he has crafted. They would be trying to secure as much information as would be useful to us, but nearly everything was to be obliterated. Of course the antidotes for Itachi and Suigetsu would be spared, I suppose that was the reason they were going. That and they had their individual reasons. Itachi had his brother of course, but I had come to understand Suigetsu held the same sort of grudge I did against the sannin.

I cleared my throat, ready to address my assembly. Every time I did this it became easier. "I want to thank you, as your hokage and as a fellow shinobi of this world, for aiding Konohagakure in this vital mission. Captain Choukichi, who will be the second in command on this mission, will take you through the regulations concerning a mission of this magnitude." I looked at each of them in turn, their faces as expressionless as the shinobi world expected them to be. "You all understand that in all honesty the chances of returning from this mission unscathed let alone alive are small." My eyes lingered on the two youngest ninja. Neither Deidara nor Suigetsu showed signs of any strong thoughts on this. I looked at Choukichi and Zabuza, the only two who had family. Zabuza's features were unreadable, Choukichi looked silently determined. "Good luck, I will see you all in forty-eight hours."

Captain Choukichi led them out the door. A moment after they left I sat down. It may have gotten easier, but I still do not like this job one bit.

…

"Kakashi, Zabuza, Suigetsu, and Itachi," Choukichi addressed us before he had even turned around. "You four have already had files made in the Konoha Black Ops and can follow Yanagi here to get uniforms and basic gear." The captain waved us to a very pretty kunoichi with long sage-colored hair.

"This way," she turned and moved through a door to our left. We walked to the end of a short hallway and through another door. Inside was another kunoichi, a bit older than Yanagi, who had already begun pulling various articles of uniform out of containers.

"Hm…guessed perfect I would assume for Kakashi-san." Her pale eyes looked the rest of us over silently as she handed Kakashi the articles she had taken out. He immediately removed his shirt and began putting them on.

"You, the biggest one first…come try this on." I stepped foreword and received a shirt from her.

The material was light and extremely flexible. I pulled off my shirt and pulled the other on. It was very standard, black, sleeveless, and the neck covered up to the bottom of your jaw.

"Now these can run a little large or small and it won't kill you. Just as long as you can move it's fine. It is the vest we need to be sure does all the right things."

I nodded, "it's a good fit."

"That's what I like to hear. Yanagi, get him some pants…off the pile furthest over there."

"Yes Ko-senpai," Yanagi waved me over to her while Ko started digging for a shirt for Suigetsu. I heard her mumble about how she didn't think they came small enough and I had to hold back a laugh. "Try these," Yanagi passed me some pants which I put on trying not to think of the fact I was taking off my pants. The girl was probably used to dealing with half naked men in here anyways. They fit with no problem. Shoes, armor, vests, everything went smoothly. Of course…these are professionals. Probably trained to do all this at the drop of a hat, minutes before a mission.

"Any preferences on the mask?"  
"Hm?"  
Yanagi pulled out a small array of ANBU masks, made to hide the identities of the Village's protectors. "Usually masks are chosen and designed especially for each shinobi, but time is short and we have a selection of masks for this sort of situation."

"I don't really care, I do not plan to use it again."  
"Alright then," she set a cat mask with blue and yellow features on top of the pile of other articles of a Konoha ANBU. Yanagi picked it all up and placed the items into a box. "This will be saved for you till the day of the mission. Everything will be in order this way." She grabbed another box off of a shelf and placed it on the table. It was filled with Konoha headbands. She pulled one out and handed it to me. "There, that is the last thing you will need. I trust you can hang on to it for two days."

"Sure," I took it indifferently and put it into my pocket.

"One more thing, Zabuza-san."

"Yes?"  
"Why do you plan on not returning to the ANBU? It's quite unusual for someone to be here for only a short number of missions unless they die."

"I have a family; this is only the last affair I need to tend to before I can withdraw from the shinobi life."

"Ah…" She looked away thoughtfully for a moment. "Well I have more work to do; you can go home to your family now."

"Yea," I left, waving to Suigetsu as I went. Kakashi had already gone and I saw Kisame and I passed Kisame and Deidara coming down the hall led by Choukichi. I nodded and them. Kisame gave me a toothy smile but Deidara merely stared blankly past me down the hall.

I left the building and started towards home. I'm glad that the process went by fairly quickly; I would rather have been home by now. Konan still had not told me off about agreeing to go on this mission…I was positive that she would. It is strange that we have not known each other for very long at all yet we can guess what the other is going to do or say like we had been acquainted for years. Of course this could be written off as shinobi training and learned instinct, but it feels more natural. I have ignored whatever may have developed as a "real" relationship all of my adult life, and most of my adolescent life as well. I guess time can change anyone.

…

I yawned. Reimei had finally fallen asleep and I definitely wanted to do the same, but I had to wait up to talk to Zabuza. Besides I am the only one home and I need to watch Fuyu even though the boy never causes any trouble. I yawned again; Reimei had kept me up all night. It gets frustrating when I just cannot figure out why she is fussing, but Zabuza does help a bit. Unlike me, he has had experience with a baby. Sometimes it is the simplest thing bothering her. A sleeve is twisted slightly, her diaper is fastened uneven, or she just needs to be picked up and held for a bit. I never could figure out so much of this with out his help.

Just as my eyes started to close Zabuza came through the door.

"Suigetsu isn't with you?"  
"He shouldn't be too long…at least he didn't mention going anywhere today."

"Oh alright," I sat up a little straighter. "Fuyu is playing in his room." He nodded and sat down next to me. We were silent for a couple minutes but I couldn't stay shut up forever, it isn't in my nature. "Zabuza, why are you going on this mission? Didn't you say Kakashi was done with you? You don't have anything left you have to do, why can't you just stay here?"  
He frowned. Zabuza may have been mulling over the answer but I think he just didn't like the answer himself and was merely stalling. "Konan, it just seems like something I have to do…like my job isn't REALLY done until I do this. I just need to see this through to the end."

"But why? I mean…I know the feeling. That each fight is a personal matter, that you just have to cut off all the loose ends before you can relax but isn't that over? I knew my place was caring for my daughter, that's why I listened to Nagato and came here in the first place. In my heart I still want to go back there, to see what has been put to motion finally stop…but I just cant!" My face felt hot but I tried to stay calm. I couldn't blow my top completely, it still isn't in my place to tell him what he can and cannot do…hell, I'm not sure if I know what my place is at all to him. "I just think that you shouldn't go either…you have a son to take care of and this really doesn't have anything to do with you. You don't even have to stay in Konoha any more so you really have absolutely no responsibility in this fight."

I knew Zabuza was a man of very few words from the time I first met him…even if I want so sure I liked him then. After a minute I was convinced he wasn't going to reply, but I don't know everything I guess.

"Konan, parts of this just feel like they are connected to me and I need to take care of it okay? Things I probably could have stopped before we had even met…back when it was just Sasuke, Suigetsu and I. Suigetsu knows he has to see this end and I feel the same, that's all."

I sighed…I didn't understand and I wished I could but his seems like something he wouldn't disclose to me. It was something between him and Suigetsu and I just had to accept that even if I didn't like it.

"You know Konan I never would have pegged you for all of this back when I first met you."

"What do you mean?"  
"Well, this…softness." He chuckled a little, "I kinda thought you were a serious bitch."

I frowned and stared at him silently. After a minute he started laughing and kissed my cheek.

"Ha, ha…oh I'm sorry. I was obviously wrong right? You are a lot kinder than you let most people think!" He wrapped his arm around me.

I sighed again and rested my head on his chest. "Yea I guess I have my little secrets too." I absent-mindedly pinched his shirt between my forefinger and my thumb, playing with the fabric. "Just promise to come back."

…

I didn't come out from under the trees immediately. I sat and listened to the sound of water running from a nearby river, but no sign of him…though I knew he was there. I waited a little longer and was nearly ready to step out when he spoke.

"Yanagi, we aren't really in the position to waist any time."

I stepped out, "Indeed." I looked Tetsuya over for a moment. He was wearing a sound village mask that covered only the upper half of his face, a plain tunic tied with the signature pale purple cord worn by Orochimaru's subordinates and by himself, plain pants and sandals with shinguards. His left hand rested on the hilt of one of his swords, an arm and hand guard on each arm. His dark hair was loose and kept resting casually on his shoulders despite his very professional demeanor. This was Orochimaru's number one.

"So what is the news out of Konoha?"

I frowned…why was I so uneasy? Am I not used to this by now? It has never concerned me before…

"Yanagi!"

"Sorry, I haven't had any sleep yet…"

"That is no excuse."

I exhaled sharply and glared straight into the eyeholes in that damned mask. "They are planning a mission to take place the day after tomorrow. They intend to end Lord Orochimaru's plans for good."

"An assassination? A bit rash for Konoha…who is the new hokage?"  
I allowed a smile to tug at my cheek. "Yamato."

"Hm…I would have expected Kakashi, especially following such a crisis it would be more predictable to choose someone they are all familiar with and who they know can lead the village efficiently. I suppose Kakashi is coming on this mission."

"Yes…besides it is obvious Yamato is just a tool. He's smart enough to lead the village, but everyone can tell he's letting Kakashi call all the punches."

"Yes…he will probably take over completely once the mission is over. That is if they would be able to complete it…but since we have been warned that is highly unlikely."

"Indeed." All traces of my smile were gone. Suddenly I found myself thinking of my daughter. I never let her get in the way of this…then again Lord Orochimaru had been pretty much obsolete until recently. I guess I never had to deal with any real work since before she was born.

"Is that all then?"  
"Yea…" I stood there uncomfortably. I remembered the man from earlier today…he had a son. And Captain Choukichi did as well. If they were walking in on a fully prepared group of highly skilled shinobi it was sure to be a massacre.

"Well, till next time I suppose Yanagi." He turned to leave.

"Wait!" He turned and stared at me for a moment.

"Yes?"  
"A-Are we doing the right thing? I mean…at first it seemed like it was…but we were young and Orochimaru-"

"LORD Orochimaru."

"…Lord Orochimaru was so convincing…but now it seems like we are doing the wrong thing!"

"What exactly are you saying Yanagi?" Tetsuya took a step towards me, his hand moving to grip the hilt of his sword.

"I only mean that I'm not sure Lord Orochimaru is really doing what's right anymore."

"Yanagi, don't you remember what Konoha did to us? It's there fault that we were left alone in the world…Lord Orochimaru saved us."

My frown deepened. I wasn't alone any more. I had friends and a family of my own.

"Yanagi…I don't think you can do any more for us in Konoha."

I didn't like his tone and took a big step back. "What are you saying?"

"Don't worry…do you not trust me Yanagi? I only mean that it is time for you to join Orochimaru and I. Leave that damned village behind for good."

I clenched my fists; I knew this day would come. Tsubame's father would take care of her; it was my best bet to just go with this if I wanted to see them again. I nodded and followed him. I guess it was a little too late for me to grow a conscious.


	47. untitled 4

"Suigetsu," I refused to look up. Why should I? She knows I am listening. "Suigetsu, you will be training with me from now on."

"Why? Why isn't Ran-sensei teaching me any more?"

"It has nothing to do with him, it is my choice. I feel like I need to deal with this personally."

I know somehow this has to do with Mangetsu. She probably wants to make sure I'm kept in line…she probably thinks I don't take all this seriously enough…that that is why Mangetsu died.

"So are you ready to begin?"

I looked up at her. My mother was wearing very casual training clothes, her long pale hair in a bun. She usually wore it a bit looser, three ponytails at the base of her skull. We were standing in a circular training room. It wasn't a very large floor but it was surrounded by water. About twenty feet from the edge of the floor to the wall, and about fifteen feet deep, it was perfect for water-style training. A room like this is only found here in Kiri.

I looked down at the two wooden training swords in my hand, my mother had the same. "Yea I'm ready."

"Let's first see what you have learned."

She nodded then ran at me. My mother's speed was something frightening, I know I cannot match it…yet. I just have to out maneuver her, and then speed will count for nothing. But there's a problem there too, she's very smart, always ahead of you. I have trained with her before, only a couple times…not even Mangetsu could get the best of her more than a couple times and even that wasn't till he was older, and I am only twelve I cannot really expect to match her.

My immediate instinct was to dodge her. I hadn't yet mastered the Hydration Technique so dodging was all I could do not to get too beat up right off. She moved to strike again and I dodged again, and again, and again. I know I can't just keep dodging. I waited till she broke her chain of attacks for a second and moved to make my own strike. She easily countered and landed a sharp blow to my left shoulder before I could jump away. I was ready to dodge again but she had stopped.

"Well I do not think I need to see any more."

Her tone infuriated me. Did she think I was so incompetent? That I truly could not do better? I ran at her, my mother swung and met my sword with hers. Mine splintered and flew from my hand.

"Suigetsu I said I am done," her expression was blank but her eyes held the same emotion since Mangetsu had died. There was sorrow, loss, and I know under the more obvious feelings was hate and blame.

"Are you mad that he was the one who died?"

She cocked her head, studying me silently. "What do you mean?"

"Do you hate me because it's my fault Mangetsu died? He was the better shinobi, your and dad's pride…do you hate me?"

"No," her arms fell limply to her sides. "Suigetsu I love you just as much as I loved your brother…I still do. How could you think this?"

"I don't know mom, how could I?"

She frowned. "I know your father and I have been distressed and distant since Mangetsu died, but we'll get through this. It's just something that happens."

"I don't believe you," I gripped the remaining sword tighter.

"Suigetsu, I am sorry you feel this way."

She turned to leave and I ran at her turned back. "I'M NOT DONE!" I swung at her but she turned and blocked, her violet eyes confused. If nothing else I wanted to prove to her I took this very seriously, that she should not underestimate me.

My mother stepped back and looked me over for a moment. Then she tossed one of her swords into the water where it floated. "Fine, you go first."

I remained stationary for a moment then ran at her. Like before she countered mercilessly, only confirming my accusation of hate. Parrying with my mother like this was merely my way of dealing with how she felt towards me now…even if she denied it. After nearly twenty minutes she stopped again.

"Satisfied yet? I am sorry Suigetsu but I do not have all day for this, maybe we can continue tomorrow?"

I simply ran at her again, not acknowledging her words. She blocked and suddenly attacked with more vigor. She truly wanted to end this, and was possibly getting annoyed with me, and I was annoyed with her. I blocked, dodged, advanced then immediately had to retreat again. Well, I suppose there is good reason my mother is one of the higher ranking ANBU but I was still furious I could not do as well against her as I would have liked. I was standing at the floor's edge and she ran at me, she swung and suddenly I managed to turn to water. I had never done so in such short notice before, maybe it was the raw emotion and determination that gave me the strength to do so. Her eyes got wide as she barely caught herself from falling into the water. I returned to my regular form behind her. I wasted no time at all; I swing and hit her sharply on the back of the head. She was still for a moment then fell into the water.

There…I'm done now. I threw the sword into the water where ripples still sprouted and ran into the wall. I turned and walked across the water numbly, leaving the room silently.

I walked right out of the village, a determinate thought in my head. I left and never turned back.

"Suigetsu, are you coming in? It's pretty late…" I opened my eyes and met Zabuza-senpai's. He stared silently down at me, his brow furrowed slightly yet his expression unreadable. He paused before speaking, possibly considering not saying anything at all, "Are you okay?"  
"Yea I'm fine…I was just thinking about my mom."

He remained silent, at a loss for anything to say.

"I was thinking about the day I left. When this is all over, I wish I could go back."

"To Kiri?"  
"Yea…

He nodded, "That's good." We were silent for a while. I shivered a little, tonight was rather cold. "So do you want to come back inside? Fuyu was asking where you went."

"Yea I'll come in,"

I stood up. Zabuza had spent the day at home. Utakata had come over and was still there, I guess he wanted to spend the last day before the mission with his family. After a while I had just wanted to get out of the way then ended up thinking of my own family. Especially my mother…I think I have wronged her. I was a hot-tempered little brat back then…hell I suppose I still am, but at least I can swallow my pride and tell her I was wrong. Even then I knew she loved me…true she probably blamed me for the death of my brother but she did not hate me.

"Sui! Dad found you!"

"Yea he did…" I sat down on the floor next to Fuyu. He had some paper and a pen and was drawing whatever indiscernible things kids draw. Utakata sat on the couch watching him silently and Konan sat on a chair holding Reimei who was having one of her not-so-common silently curious moments. The baby looked from person to person silently, observing a confusing and much too big world through large green-blue eyes. Zabuza sat down next to his brother.

"Only a few more minutes Fuyu then you need to go to bed."

"Aww…Why?"  
"If you go to bed early enough you can get up early tomorrow and say goodbye."

"Mmm…Okay! I should go to bed now then!"  
"Yea you could."

"I will." He stood up. "Goodnight Sui!"

"Goodnight."

Zabuza got up and followed Fuyu into his bedroom. I yawned, considering going to bed myself then I remembered my 'bed' was currently occupied. Oh well…I can wait.

…

"Today was nice," Konan looked over at me, studying me through her silver eyes. Her tone gave away her continuing disagreement with me going on this mission; she probably hopes I will change my mind last minute.

"Yes it was, and we can have many more days just like it."

"Hm," she turned away and set Reimei into her cradle. "Well I'm going to sleep while I can."

"Yea, I'll get to sleep in a bit."

"Mmhmm…don't stay up to late, you need some sleep before the mission."

"Yea," I walked out of the room and into the living room. Suigetsu was lying on his back on the couch staring at the ceiling, one arm behind his head. When I sat down on the chair across from him he turned his head to face me.

"Can't sleep either?"

"Not exactly…well yes I suppose." No point trying to play the stronger man, haven't I learned how pointless that is after all these years? Old habits die hard I suppose. Truth was I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if I didn't make it back from this mission. Children of ninja have learned to accept these things for years, it sounds so pretty from the outside but as a guy who lived through losing both of his parents as a child I know it isn't so. Something like that, even after all the training and conditioning the world can offer, still really fucking sucks. "Suigetsu…is this mission really worth it? I mean I know that the world would be a much better place without Orochimaru, but is all this necessary?"

He stared at me silently then turned back to the ceiling.

"Suigetsu I wanted to talk to you because you are a rational person under that firecracker attitude. Just tell me you really think this is the right thing. Why can't this just be left to Konoha…as it has been for years now?"  
"Nope…I can't say it's the best thing to do or it is rational. I know when I am being childish but I have come to live with it…it's just how I am."

I sighed… "I suppose there is no chance of reasoning with you? No way you would just let this go and leave for Kiri tomorrow instead of to fight for something you do not have to?"

"You know you sound like a real fucking hypocrite right now. I mean, for someone who spent most of his life trying to take out a man who is more than unreachable just sounds stupid. You cannot say vengeance is ridiculous when you have spent your life bent on it."

"Heh…You are right, you shouldn't listen to me." We sat there in silence for several minutes. The sound of a light rain on the window was the only sound. "Suigetsu I just want you to know that if it were not for you I would not be going on this mission." He turned to look at me again. "Konan does not want me to risk my life because my debt to Kakashi is well paid for by now, but it is a debt to you that I am paying for. As a shinobi, I cannot turn my back to that."

"Debt?" He thought for a moment. "I don't think I have really done anything worthy of this grade of payment."

"Well…it has been piling up I suppose. If you had not agreed to Kakashi's plans I would not have been able to pay off my debt to him, and have you forgotten that you have come between Sasuke…well, Orochimaru…and I when my life was in danger more than once now? Plus my son likes you, if nothing else I'm making sure you get back for his sake." I smiled at him.

Suigetsu's face went pale before he turned away from me again. "Right…I don't know if I can come back…" his voice was unsteady and quiet.

"What do you mean? Sure you do not exactly meet the skill level of some of the people we will be facing but you are helpless. Besides there will be a whole team on our side, I don't think you have to worry."

He didn't answer…I felt like I should inquire further but for some reason I had a very bad feeling about what he might say. I felt like perhaps I just don't want to know the reasoning behind his words.

"Well good night then, do try to get some sleep…this mission wont be a walk in the park."

I left and walked to my son's room. I opened the door and stood in the doorway watching him sleep for a moment. I suppose Konan is right, that I really should start putting Fuyu very first, but this is some thing I already have my mind made up to do. After this It's all for him…if I come back.

…

"So…" I refused to look him in the face as he spoke to me, "there will be some…'guests' here tomorrow. I expect you to assist us with…'entertaining' them." I could hear the sick smile in his voice.

"Really?" my voice was a lot weaker than I would have liked it to be…not really my fault I suppose. "And what would be in it for me?" I shifted slightly in my restraints.

"Well, your life of course! As we discussed earlier, your services in exchange for your life." Madara chuckled darkly. "You are quite transparent…'religion' really had nothing to do with it…you had no beliefs you just wanted to continue saving your own naive ass. Your own life is really all that ever mattered to you…we have been over this."

It was my turn to laugh. "Yea I suppose…" I looked up at him, stared directly into those dark holes in that damned mask. "So are you going to release me so maybe I'm not stiff tomorrow?"

"Ha," Madara cocked his head and stared at me for a minute. "Well I am glad you are taking this seriously, Hidan."

I smiled, "Do I have a choice?"


	48. Mission Start

It was cold and smelt like rain. Rain before a mission, it wasn't really an omen but I still felt apprehensive about all of this. Still it is better to be the aggressor versus the victim, getting this out of the way before another attack would be best. And there still is the matter of Naruto. The Akatsuki having the ninetails is bad any way you look at it, even if we now have the sixtails. Getting him back is top priority, destroying the Akatsuki will be a bonus.

I yawned…I didn't need sleep, not going on the mission after all, but a lack of rest is certainly taking it's toll. It has to be almost four in the morning by now, I'll sleep after seeing off the squad. I yawned again but stopped before I was finished…a noise on the roof had caught my attention. Was someone up there? I stood up, my knees popping painfully from the sudden movement after hours of sitting still. I had been sitting on the Hokage's balcony, my back against the banister and my knees pulled to my chest. Must have gone out there around midnight.

All I saw was the starry sky and shadows on the roof. I listened and stared more intensely at the shadows. "Is someone there?"

I could here his breath before he spoke. "Sir," A dark figure immerged from the shadows and looked down at me.

"Sai, what are you doing up there?" I was relieved it was not a more sinister person, I do not think I could handle that right now, but I was also alarmed as to what he was doing up there. "You shouldn't spend your energy carelessly; you are still in the process of healing."

He didn't answer but instead jumped down beside me, favoring his left leg. He had a crutch tucked under his arm which he brought out as he straightened up to face me. "I am feeling much better now, Lord Hokage."

I winced, "Just Yamato please…I don't much like that title."

Sai nodded then turned to look out over the village.

I turned as well, "Quite the view isn't it?"

"Yes," his voice was monotonous, but that isn't unusual. "Yamato-san, I heard a rumor there is going to be a mission today…THE mission."  
"That is true," I didn't really care that he knew, or how he found out. Nothing is kept sincerely secret.

"Who is going?"  
"Kakashi, Captain Choukichi, Uchiha Itachi, Momochi Zabuza, Hozuki Suigetsu, Hoshigaki Kisame, and Deidara."

"The ninjas from the Akatsuki? And Zabuza? Why them?"

"They are familiar with where they are going, that is important. Besides they are on our side…Kakashi trusts them."

"And you?"

I paused for a moment. "Yes I trust them; they have never given me a reason not to."

He nodded. We stood in complete silence for a while. "Sai, why did you come here?"

"I don't know…I couldn't sleep."

"Heh, that makes two of us." I felt the first raindrop, small and cold, hit my cheek. I looked up at the sky. The stars were still visible, it wouldn't be a strong rain…not right away at least; more clouds would have to roll in. "Do you want to come inside? It's starting to rain."

"Yea," we turned and stepped inside.  
"The squad should be arriving at the ANBU headquarters soon, would you like to come with me to see them off."

Sai paused, thinking about it for a moment. "Yea, I think I would like that."

"Okay," I placed a hand on his shoulder, "let's get down there."

…

The sky was just beginning to get lighter hues on the horizon, Reimei had woken up and Konan was feeding her, and I could here Suigetsu in the other room.

"Almost time to go?"  
"Yea," I was sitting at the edge of the bed just thinking…or not thinking, just sitting there with a blank mind trying to think. There was nothing to think about I suppose, it is just another mission after all. The last mission, after this there will be no more…at least for a while. I am no fool, when Fuyu is grown and if it is requested I start doing missions again, I do not think I would decline…it wouldn't be in my nature.

"Well…I'll be here when you come back."

I turned to look at Konan. She looked silently frustrated, probably at the fact that despite everything she could not talk me out of this.

"Okay," yea that was probably the stupidest response, but I really didn't have anything to say. Konan was going to be here for me, and I would be there for her. I am not one familiar with love…except for, of course, the love of a father to his child…but I think this is going to work. Whether it is love or just a familiar sense of being, I enjoy being with Konan. "Well I will see you when I come back." I got up, grabbing my shoes, and walked out into the living room. Suigetsu was just standing by the window, staring out at something he alone could see.

"Are we leaving, then?" He looked at me without turning his head.

"Yea just give me another minute." I went back to Fuyu's room and opened the door as quietly as I could. It didn't matter, at this time of the morning Fuyu was crashed, I am convinced almost nothing could wake him.

I walked over and sat on the edge of his bed. I didn't want to wake him up but I had promised I would say goodbye. I gently laid a hand on his shoulder. "Fuyu," his facial expression changed for a second, but other than that he didn't stir. "Fuyu," I shook his shoulder lightly and he opened his eyes drowsily. "Hey son, I am leaving now."

"Now?" Fuyu yawned and his eyes threatened to close again.

"Yea," I slid an arm under him and lifted him up, setting him on my lap. Fuyu let his head fall forward and rest on my chest, his hands sleepily curling up by his face. He was clearly not completely awake; in a couple of hours he would probably wake up and think it was a dream. At least he will have Konan here to keep him company; he has truly come to like her a lot.

I sat there like that for a few minutes, maybe ten, but it felt not long enough. When I laid my son back into his bed he did not even rouse. I rejoined Suigetsu who was waiting by the door, when he saw me he opened the door and stepped out into the mild morning. I paused before leaving; feeling like my business here is still not finished. I just had to remind myself, no matter how strong the enemy, I would have the rest of my life to complete with the ones I loved.

The grass was wet but the sky no longer was smudged with clouds. The heavens' transition from morning to night could be viewed without obstruction; it appeared that the day would be beautiful despite the oppressive task at hand. Of course we will probably not face Orochimaru and the Akatsuki till tomorrow, we do have quite the ways to travel.

When Suigetsu and I walked into the ANBU headquarters, everyone but Kakashi and Choukichi were there. We changed into our ANBU gear, leaving off the masks for the time being, and awaited the proper time of departure. I glanced at each of my companions in turn. Kisame looked rather indifferent, sitting up strait with his expression blank. As if he were merely waiting for some mundane, day-to-day thing and would return to his life momentarily. Itachi had his back to everyone, staring a hole through the wall as far as I can tell, a man apart…apart from the entire world. Deidara could not seem to hold still. He shifted from foot to foot looking annoyed one second then smiling deviously the next. He was also looking from man to man as he waited, his azure eyes returning to Itachi thrice as often as everyone else. I turned to look at Suigetsu before I met the blonde's gaze. Suigetsu seemed to be trying to appear as stoic as Kisame, but was failing. His eyes wandered nervously and he kept clenching his fists. I wondered for a moment if he were in pain, as untimely as it was whatever healing Sasuke had done before Suigetsu escaped the Akatsuki has nearly worn off. Be it he still looks better than he did the day I encountered him fleeing the Village after the Akatsuki attack.

After a few more minutes Choukichi and Kakashi entered the room, both already dressed. My guess is that they were here and ready hours before anyone else, that is just how Kakashi is and I would assume, as the captain of the ANBU black ops, Choukichi would be the same. I do not know much at all about this Captain but I would have guessed Kakashi would be right in line for the head of the black ops unit, the fact this man was higher ranked than the copy cat ninja was reason enough to respect him.

"All right I take it we are all ready to head out?" No one answered but it seemed to be a rhetorical question anyways. Choukichi nodded. "Right then, let's go"

We followed Choukichi and Kakashi outside. The faintest light smeared across the sky from the East, the early morning was silent, not even the earliest birds dared voice their song. We walked to the gates of the village where a few people waited for us. We stopped before the group. The heads of the Leaf Village clans were there with the Hokage, Utakata, and Sai. Yamato stepped forward, it was apparent that he was not quite sure how to address the squad.

"We are all praying for the best in this mission. You are all protectors of Konohagakure, and the Village is grateful for every one of you." There was a rather inept moment of silence following Yamato's short speech.

"We will do only our vey best to protect the Leaf. We shall succeed or dye trying, my lord."

Yamato nodded, surely familiar with this vow of loyalty to the village. Choukichi began to lead us out of the village; I was surprised to feel a hand on my shoulder. I even jumped a little.

"Nervous?" Utakata's golden eyes stared directly into mine as he walked alongside me.

"Would it be wrong if I was? And you did not have to sneak up on me, not many people can after all."

"Hm," I was not sure if he had laughed or merely made a noise out of having nothing to say on the matter. "Well good luck brother, I will be awaiting your return."

"Yea," before I had answered Utakata released my shoulder. I did not look back but I was sure he remained standing just on the outside of the gates for several minutes. Even after we began to sprint out of sight. I wondered if things could ever not be so awkward between us, I would not blame him if he never fully accepted me after I had avoided him for so long.

We sprinted along the trail till there was too much sun illuminating us, at this time we took to the trees. On such missions speed is a necessity, I am surprised I am not more tired by now. I have not been on such a mission in years. However muscle memory is long lasting, the small excursions recently have probably built me back up to this sort of thing.

At around one in the afternoon we stopped. During this time Choukichi provided light victuals. We ate the small bars of bitter substance in silence. These were the sorts of things taken on such missions; light weight, small, and remarkably filling and energizing. We breaked for only about eight minutes then it was back to travelling. The entire time I tried to keep my mind blank, tried not to think of anything including the mission. This is how I had always been. I never thought of anyone or anything, expending the energy to think about what lay ahead would only exhaust me quicker in the end. I am finding it harder to do this now versus in the past when the only thing that mattered to me was myself and my objectives. I know now that was very wrong of me.

And here I am, trying not to think of anything, to save even my mental strength, and I end up thinking of Haku. How long has it been since I have thought of him? I suppose it is all apart of death after all, acceptance that is. I accepted he is gone and so I have no need to dwell on the memory of my old companion. Regret is a sentiment I have only developed here in the later portion of my life. Selfishness had filtered this emotion from my conscious through most of my life, but now I do regret how I treated that boy. Haku had been utterly devoted and it did not matter the slightest to me, other than in the business sense I suppose.

I stopped myself from dwelling on this. I have spent amounts of time since his death recollecting all the things I could have given him a simple "thank you" for. And I will have the rest of my life to do so. In fact I would not mind visiting Haku's grave again and telling him so myself. But now this is not really the thing that should be consuming my thoughts.

We pressed on till the night was only an hour from its close. We breaked again, this time for almost two hours, in complete silence. When the birds chimed in the new day, Kakashi spoke up.

"The hideout is only thirty yards from here." He looked back through the trees. "And there are two shinobi guarding the entrance." He turned back, removing his mask which was the likeness of a dog as he did so, "Now the mission begins."


	49. The Final Mission is Underway!

"Can you tell who is at the entrance?"

"No perhaps one of you should look." By 'one of you' Kakashi was certainly referring to the ex-members of the Akatsuki.

Deidara removed his mask and looked around a tree. He stared for a moment then turned back to us. "I do not recognize them. They are wearing masks bearing the insignia of the Sound Village…Orochimaru's subordinates with out a doubt."

"Yes, of course we could expect to face a number of them." Choukichi looked for himself as he spoke. "How many of the Akatsuki remain?"

"Two," Itachi spoke without removing his mask. "Madara and Hidan, Madara would have gotten rid of Nagato-sama by now and with him gone the Pains would have been returned to nothing but lifeless corpses. And it is doubtful Hidan left, it would certainly be out of character."

"And there is Orochimaru and these two subordinates. That is all we know of?"

"Yea," Suigetsu spoke up now. "He never kept any more that the one guy there."

"Well there were two, a man and a woman from the looks of it."

"So he could have moved an entire military force into the area in the time we have been lying back…perfect." Choukichi closed his eyes and frowned.

"I doubt it," Itachi had removed his mask now. "This land is not ideal for a large group of people to hide. As it is the hideout is easily found, and it is not big enough to house very many ninja."

"Well we are at least sure that they come close to us in numbers, five to seven with us in favor. But we must be prepared for them to surpass us, it seems unlikely that in the time we have given them they only added one more person."

Suddenly a kunai flew past all of us and sank hilt-deep into a tree. We all looked to face a masked figure, her long, blond hair tied back in a braid that fell past her waist.

"That was just your invitation, we have grown tired of waiting." Her voice was smooth and almost calming, a slight motherly inflection that made you unsure if she was a true enemy.

Deidara jumped out and landed a firm fist in her face. The kunoichi disappeared with a slight popping sound.

"A SHADOW CLONE?" Choukichi glared at where the figure had been standing. "So is this the Konoha traitor?"

"No," Suigetsu stepped out next to Deidara. "It was a man, the one there I am sure of it."

We all stepped out. We could see the pair standing on the surface of a small lake. A man with a white mask covering the upper portion of his face, and a woman with a cloth mask covering the lower portion, she wore a black hate with a Sound Village plate on it, the man had the insignia carved into the forehead of the mask.

"So there were two enemy spies in Konoha, how upsetting. No time to discuss it now though," Choukichi glared intensly at the two figures, "the sooner those traitors are killed the better!"

Choukichi and Kakashi dashed foreward simultaneously. With their speed they were lost till they had clashed with the enemy. I moved to join but felt a hand on my chest. Itachi had stopped me.

"If too many of us go in there it will just turn into a mess, lie back here and if they need us we will step in."

"That is true," I was a little annoyed I did not think of it as well. Standard black ops procedure, one on one unless aid is required.

"Well," Kisame stepped past the rest of us, "Two Leaf ninja versus two Leaf ninja…sounds like a draw to me. I believe our side could use a little alternate talent."

"Fine but the rest of us will hang back."

Kisame rushed foreword. He soon disappeared beneath the water, one of the shinobi, the male, paused to try and locate him but Kakashi was not holding off at all. The masked man had no choice but to keep fighting off Kakashi's advances. As subordinates of Orochimaru I would have expected them to have turned the attack around by now. With a third person in the fight it was hard to believe they were holding off on purpose, but something did not feel right. I watch the shinobis' moves. They were not deliberate, they were merely keeping up. How could these people, taught by Orochimaru himself, be so weak?

"Itachi…Orochimaru's subordinates should be stronger, correct?"

"They have not released their curse marks yet…this is only the prelude."

Curse marks? I was unfamiliar with the term but I assume that these "marks" must bring them great strength.

Suddenly the kunoichi landed a fierce blow on Choukichi with her blade. We watched him go down and the woman instantly turned to assist her partner with Kakashi but at that moment Kisame appeared and she was barely able to block his vicious attack. I looked away from them and waited for Choukichi to break the surface of the water.

"Go see to Captain Choukichi, Zabuza-san."

"Right, I sprinted to the lake, glad I didn't have to mention it before Itachi did…I suppose I have gotten softer in more recent years for the thought of a teammate and fellow parent dying while we stood by and watched was a horrid atrocity.

I didn't pause to even cast my eyes towards the fight going on. The second my feet touched the spot where the captain went under I dove.

I opened my eyes and scanned the floor with no luck, I looked around to see if he was swimming away but there was no sign of Choukichi anywhere! I resurfaced and looked around. I still could not find the captain. I went under one more time to see if I by any chance missed any sign of him and spotted some purposefully placed rippled on the opposite shore. I swam there immediately. As I neared the surface, Choukichi grabbed me and quickly pulled me behind some stones he had been using to mask his location. Quickly he peered around the stones to make sure the fight was still in progress then he turned to me.

"Zabuza-san, I am glad you came over here."

"Are you all right?"

"Barely a scratch," he smiled slyly, "I needed that bitch to think I was worse off so I could sneak away here. I signaled to Kisame to take my place to make sure she was distracted."

I nodded. "So…what are you doing?"

"You see that," he pointed up at the boulder blocking the entrance, on its face was a tag. "It is a defense mechanism."

"How do you know? I think it just looks like an ordinary seal to me."

"Yes, but before the mission Itachi-san warned Kakashi and I about such a seal. It's a trap you see, one that will allow only members of the Akatsuki inside."

"Well then does Itachi or someone know how to get in still? Or would they have changed it?"  
"It is hard to say," Choukichi leaned to look around me at the other side of the hideout.

"There are other ways in…two others."

"I know…I just hope these two were the only, or at least the strongest, guards they had."

It all clicked…the uneasy feeling was not that the guards were being false, well they could still be, but that my own teammates were. "So this was a distraction Kakashi and you had planned out." I smiled at them, how they purposely did not tell anyone else to ensure it was flawless.

"Yes, the plan was for Kakashi to hold them off while I took a look around but it turns out Kisame made himself an unexpecting, perfect addition to it. Now Deidara…he is the one specializing in pyrotechnics, correct?"  
"Yea that would be him."

"Good, go back over and bring him here…but discreetly. Tell the other to join the fight to further distract the two guards from what is going on, they would expect us to hold Itachi back as long as we can…he is our ace."

I nodded and returned to the water, resurfacing at the other shore. I really liked how this captain thought…it is no surprise he holds such a prestigious rank.

"Itachi you are to stay here, Suigetsu you are to come join the fight," Suigetsu smiled toothily, "and Deidara is to follow me."

"The captain is going in with only the two of you?" Itachi was quick to pick up on the situation.

"Yes."  
"And it would be no surprise to the enemy if I am left behind, correct?" He looked past me to where he assumed Choukichi was hiding. "We do not know what lies inside the hideout yet. I will join you when I am certain no one is watching, leaving a clone behind here."

It wasn't what Choukichi said exactly but it sounded good enough. "Fine." I turned and Suigetsu and Deidara joined me. We ran to the lake, Suigetsu ran to join the skirmish while I abruptly pulled Deidara under the water with me. It was quite obvious he did not like this…I suppose I should have told him the complete instructions beforehand.

We swam up to where Choukichi was waiting, Deidara glared at me as we followed the captain into the brush. We went around to an entrance I was more familiar with. Of course this one too was closed and would not open without force.

As we approached the entrance suddenly Deidara shoved Choukichi and I back, took a stance and the entrance simply exploded, leaving a gaping perforation for us to pass through.

He turned to our slightly surprised faces with a very smug smile, "That is what you wanted, right?"


	50. The Final Mission pt 1

Nice. Of course this is why they asked for me specifically, so sending my bombs on ahead was just saving us time.

Choukichi walked over to me looking slightly pissed off but he let it pass without confrontation. "Right, let's get in there…there's no reason to waist time."

We headed in and almost as soon as we did we were followed in by Itachi and Suigetsu.

"I left a clone behind…it should be able to fool them for at least a short amount of time."

"Uh yea…I didn't really think Kakashi and Kisame-senpai needed me out there…so I snuck away."

Choukichi did not seem very pleased about the present deviations from his plan but he shrugged them off with no remark. "Right then I see two halls here." We all looked ahead at the two different directions we could take. "I suggest we split up and find out where they are keeping Naruto…that IS our priority."

"Right then Itachi and I will go left you guys can go right."

"Sounds fine with me…"

"No we will take the right and Suigetsu will come with us too."

"Either way is fine I suppose…and Itachi should not have to fight till he has to anyways so taking Suigetsu with you would be a better plan."

Choukichi waved Zabuza to follow him down the hall. Zabuza turned to look back at us with a rather chary expression as he disappeared down the hall. To be honest I felt a little suspicious…as if Itachi were hiding something from me.

We headed off to the right…which still confused me. To the left was the area Nagato left for Sasuke's use. Why go right? Yet again I feel that Itachi knows something nobody else does and is not the least bit inclined to share. I suppose it does not matter…whatever Itachi' is up to I am merely here to assist him, understanding the situation is not necessary.

Then there is Suigetsu. He did not seem the least bit phased by Itachi's demands. And what is he doing here in the first place? He came in with Itachi…are they planning something?

I frowned and looked to my companions. Itachi led the way so only his back was visible to me, but Suigetsu was to my left and barely two feet ahead. His face was determined…I'm convinced he is in on something. As vexing as it was to be out of the loop, I kept it to myself. Everything would unravel in due time.

…

Suddenly Itachi stopped and Deidara and I followed in suit as he quickly skirted into a doorway recess.

"What is it?"  
"There is someone up ahead…Deidara can you make out who it is?"  
Deidara moved aside the hair covering the left side of his face and adjusted his scope as he peered around the corner. "It's Hidan," he said after a moment, "I cannot see his face, he has his back to us…but I am pretty sure it is him."

"Good…at least we are all familiar with his abilities. Perhaps Suigetsu is a little behind but we can make up for that."

"Itachi I know enough you are supposed to save yourself for when we face Sasuke." I was not sure that even with our plan in place that all of his current strength would be enough to defeat the combined powers of Sasuke and Orochimaru.

Itachi's face remained unchanged but by the fleeting moment of silence I knew he both agreed with me and hated the circumstances. "Yes this is true…I will stand by, however, just in case you need back up."

"Oh please, HIDAN? I don't think we will need it. In fact, why don't both of you hang back and I can take ca-"

"No, Deidara…this is not the time to be careless. We must execute each obstacle preceding our fight with Sasuke as efficiently as possible…we can not afford any mishaps now."

Deidara looked rather cross about being put in his place so, but didn't argue the matter.

"Right then," I walked back out into the hall, "let's get through this quickly, Deidara." He stepped out next to me still in his annoyed silence and nodded. We headed at top speed towards our target with Itachi a little ways back.

As we got closer I could see that Hidan really was facing away from us. With each step I expected him to turn around but he didn't…he just stood there. Suddenly Deidara sent two small, bird-shaped bombs in his direction. Just as they were about to explode inched from his right ear he moved. He jumped aside as he turned to face us…a vindictive smile painted across his face. I stopped with my sword drawn staring into his face. There was a vertical cut over his right eye that had been stitched shut along with the eyelid. His slightly demented smile did not waver as he returned my stare. To be honest I was a little wary, while I had been on a mission with Hidan I have yet to see him in combat. However it is something I am sure I do not want to be on the receiving end of. Deidara moved again, he sent two more bombs in pursuit of Hidan. One of them he dodged quite easily but the other exploded quite close to his right arm, marring the flesh.

"Well hello there Deidara…have not changed at all have you?"

"I don't need to!" He sent another, bigger bomb after Hidan. It is quite possible that Deidara could handle him on his own.

Hidan narrowly dodged the bomb then finally turned to the attack. With his scythe at the ready he ran at Deidara. Deidara barely dodged his attack and before Hidan could turn to take another swing I was there on the attack. I did not much like the short sword provided by black ops but it would have to do. Our weapons clashed hard, I could feel the strength of Hidan's blow reverberate up my arms. I sidestepped his next attack but Hidan is fast, he met me again nearly before I could block. Luckily this was a two-on-one affair and Deidara had his next bomb on Hidan before he could make another strike. He was not as lucky as before and the birdlike explosive made a significant wound on his left shoulder. Despite the injury he grabbed his scythe with both ands and rushed me. I leapt back but he stepped into the swing. Suddenly I found myself with no movement left and he was in mid swing. I winced, eyes shut ready for the hit to take my life…then I opened them.

Hidan was stopped dead a mere foot from me, that same sick smile on his face. In one fluid and fleeting motion, Hidan stepped back and swung his scythe in reverse, the blades still facing me. He allowed the shaft to slide through his hands till he barely had the end in his fists. I did not notice what he was doing till the weapon collided with Deidara's right leg. The staff, just on the opposite side of the deadly blades, smashed into his calf…the sound of breaking bones was unmistakable.

Hidan laughed callously. I remained frozen in my place and Deidara pushed himself up from the ground. Itachi was deathly still in the distance, standing by more than ready to step in as soon as he was sure we could no longer handle this.

Hidan straightened up, moving out of his powerful stance, and placed the base of the scythe on the ground. "Deidara-chan…you were always the most careless member of the Akatsuki." He turned his head away from the seething Deidara and looked to Itachi. "Hey Itachi! Are you not going to honor me with your addition to this sad little scrap? Leaving your little dogs to do the dirty work…you are getting quit the complex you know?"

Deidara took the moment to strike with another bomb which Hidan narrowly evaded. Before Hidan could strike back I found my legs and stuck out at him. I do not know if it was his surprise from Deidara's sudden attack or that he thought I was still immobilized from my own surprise but I managed to slice through his shoulder just above where one of Deidara's tricky little bird-like bombs had afflicted him earlier. With the spring returned to my step I leapt back. Hidan did not seem to be phased by my unexpected attack; he turned once my blade slid from his muscle, Deidara completely forgotten and now being pulled away from the fight by Itachi, and swung at me. There was no way I was about to let him get ahead of me. I dodged his attacks and moved to strike back swiftly. I could already feel myself slowing down and Hidan barely needed to catch up as it was. It was only a matter of time before I would fall behind and Deidara does not seem like he can help much now.

Out of nowhere Hidan received a blow from his right. I looked and saw Itachi forcing himself into the fight. We were both not performing anywhere near our best, but Itachi was worse of than I. If our plan was to work he would have to save himself…well perhaps it is I who needs to still be able to keep up in the end.

We fought off Hidan interchangeably and I was impressed that despite Itachi's poor health he could keep up so well. He was faster than I could have ever imagined…he, the boy who annihilated his clan, must be a true force to be reckoned with in good health.

Out of the blue, Itachi stepped around Hidan and grabbed me, a hand covering my mouth and nose, and pulled me to the ground. A moment later, surely just as Hidan realized something was up; his entire body seemed to disintegrate right before our eyes. When the shocking and slightly disturbing scene was over we stood up. Deidara smiled and Itachi walked over to him. Then it all came to me. During the short time they had together, Deidara and Itachi had come up with this. I realized that what tore Hidan's body apart must have been Deidara's bombs…small enough to be inhaled and to be practically invisible to the human eye.

"Fucker," Deidara Began molding another bomb as Itachi came up to him and watched. When he was done it expanded to a rather large bird-like creation that hovered a few feet off the ground. Without even a gesture it lowered and Deidara pulled himself on to it. I had almost completely forgotten that Hidan had broken his leg. I glimpsed at the injury which was covered by white leg wrappings worn as part of the ANBU uniform. A good portion of the inner side was bloody and looked slightly bulged. I tried not to imagine that the bone must be coming through the skin. As a ninja who previously was able to mend any injury in moments without a second thought, this did effect me slightly…made me a little sick and wary to be honest.

Itachi moved towards the door across the room without any acknowledgement to either of us. I followed and Deidara rode his creation a few feet behind me. He paused for a second; this door was to the meeting room…the biggest room in the headquarters. It was surely where the final battle would be.

…

Itachi opened the door to an empty room. While Suigetsu and I were slightly taken aback, Itachi was completely unfazed…but is that not exactly how he is? He walked into the room with that same confident walk as always.

"Well now what? I knew we should have gone the other way…I mean HELL-O! That IS Sasuke's private little shithole…Those two idiots are probably dead already and we are wasting time in here!"

Itachi showed absolutely no sign of hearing me. He moved to the inner wall and knelt down. I watched him; my head buzzing slightly from my recent injury…or maybe it was from pure adrenaline from the fight behind us and ahead. Itachi made some swift hand-signs and a square hole opened in front of him. A secret passage?

He stood up and faced us. "Nagato trusted few with this place. It was intended for the keeping of the jinchuriki, with or without their hosts. If it was possible a host was unstable and we were unable to remove the beast before it merely left on its own, this is where it would have been held. It has more secure jutsu around it than any place I have ever known."

"So this is where they are going to be?" Suigetsu stepped over and looked down.

I came over to them and tried peering into the hole but saw nothing but darkness. "Huh…that's pretty smart."

"Nagato-sama was no fool…you know that."

"Um…right." Yea to be honest I never really knew the guy…nor had I ever wanted to. He merely provided me with a use for my jutsu and my drive for violence.

"Deidara, you are going to stay up here."

"WHAT?" My head flicked up to look at Itachi so fast it made me a little dizzy.

"Do not question me…you are injured and the others will need to know where we are when they catch up."

I scowled…but he had a good point I suppose. I looked away from him and continued to stew in my annoyance.

"Come on Suigetsu…the sooner we get down there the better. If we can end this before the others get here it would be for the best, after all."

"Right."

I looked back at them to see Itachi jump down followed by Suigetsu after a moment. I sighed and lowered my handiwork to the floor and dismounted gingerly. I shrank it back to normal size and sat there a few feet from the hole waiting.

This is absolute shit.

…

Silently we crept along the set up materials…the fodder of Orochimaru's evil experiments. I looked to Choukichi who must have sense my gaze for he looked at me a moment later. He signaled for the immediate movement through the door at the back of the room. Quickly we moved to it and then through…to another empty room.

"Damn it, there is nothing back here! Look, it is a dead end, no more doors!"

"I realize this," Choukichi walked to the other side of the small room and stared at the wall…as if a new door would magically appear.

"We should just try to find the others."

He remained silently staring at the wall. Slowly he reached out his hand and touched it with the very tips of his fingers.

"Captain, we are wasting time!"

"There is a door here."

"What?" I walked briskly over to him and stared at the area he was fixated on. I studied it. Many jutsus were created for concealing entryways…but whatever was used here I was unfamiliar with.

Choukichi took a step back and looked all the way up to ceiling then back at the invisible door. "If they went to the trouble to hide it then it must be important…right?"  
"The jinchuriki boy?"

"Precisely…if Uzumaki Naruto is through here then our mission is over."

Yea HIS mission. I am sure wherever Suigetsu and Itachi are they must be seeking out Sasuke. "Right so how do we get through?"

"It may take some time but I am sure I can get it"

"Right then," I stepped back to give him the queue to get to work.

Choukichi sat in front of the wall and began making various hand signs. Supposedly he was breaking the jutsu and I was left to watch. Five, ten, fifteen minutes passed silently. The captain did not even show any annoyance about how damn long this was taking. He had immeasurable patience; obviously…this was something we certainly did not have in common.

…

Really this is stupid…I am not completely useless. I do not need my legs to perform my jutsu. I pushed myself, sliding along the stone floor, towards the secret entrance. When I got to it I carefully moved my legs to dangle over the edge. I looked down again but it was useless…it was far too dark for me to see anything. I removed my headband and placed it next to me, those dumbasses should get that. I fluidly slid into the abyss; keeping my legs out in front of me…I would rather land on my ass then further injure my leg.

I was surrounded by frigid water which moved surprisingly fast. I moved my arms trying to get above the surface. Great, water…the one thing I did not want to land in. Sure it was gentler than stone but I was never a strong swimmer and with a broken leg I was measurably worse. I managed to surface and began making my way to the edge of the underground river. How the hell did I not hear them land in this? I pulled myself onto the small ledge and took a few deep breaths. Slowly I used the stony wall to pull myself so I was standing on the ledge with my one good leg. My thigh muscles were cramping already from having to favor my right leg.

I looked ahead. In the distance of the tunnel I vaguely could make out a light. I sighed and began moving aggravatingly slow towards it, using mostly my upper body strength to pull myself along.


	51. The Final Mission pt 2

I swung at the wall with kubikiri houcho and was pleased that it sunk a good nine inches into the wall…or door according to Choukichi. The captain froze and I pulled back and swung again, this time a large chunk of the wall fell through. I stepped back and Choukichi got up. I stepped foreword and looked through.

"Well there's no kid…just the meeting room."

Choukichi looked through and frowned. "Well then I guess we should just meet up with the others…let's go then."

"Wait," I looked towards one of the walls, "I do not remember that."

"What?"  
"There is some sort of hole there that wasn't there before." I stepped back again and began breaking the wall again. Within four swings enough was broken off I could step through. I walked to the hole and looked down at a leaf headband sitting by it. "Choukichi-san, I think they went in here."

"Oh really?" He sounded a little skeptical. I thrust the headband out as he walked up to me.

"What is this then?"  
"You think they left it behind to indicate where they went?"  
"Well why else would it be here? Besides over there is where they would have come from."

Choukichi looked through the door I gestured towards. "Okay then let's get in there…I suppose it may be where they would hide Naruto."

"Right," I jumped down and was met with some sort of underground river. I swam up and located a ledge and swam to it. I got out of the way just in time for Choukichi to land where I had just been. I pushed myself up and used my chakra to stand on the water. Standing on moving water has to be one of the trickiest yet simple things to do…I personally hate it with a passion. Choukichi joined me.

"There is a light over there…I'm guessing that is where we need to go."

"Yea," we began to run, as best we could in the circumstances, towards the light.

…

He was ahead of me by about fifteen feet…the hardest fifteen feet I ever had to close. I have no idea who this guy is but he is fast!

The two shinobi split up as soon as they realized that the Itachi they saw was a clone. I assume something happened for him to no longer be able to maintain the clone. I hope it gave them enough time to get far into the hideout because now they were being chased by this Sound ninja…who of course was being chased by me, but I know when I have met my match and this guy just might be it! Kisame chased after the kunoichi who sprinted off into the woods. She was possibly faster than this guy but her strength was far less.

Finally I pushed myself within arm's reach of the man, just as we reached what appeared to be a scene of a fight. I grabbed his shoulder and threw him off track and immediately took my stance between him and the door to the next room.

He remained frozen for a moment then slowly walked over to face me. He stood in a pretty dense puddle of blood…whoever lost that was dead but no longer here. Behind me was a larger room, before I turned around I saw that there was a large hole broken in the wall apposite the door. Obviously they had gotten some things done here while we held off these two little pet's of Orochimaru's.

"Karin."

"What is that?" The man spoke with a vaguely familiar voice…the name, however, was completely alien to me.

"She is dead." I noticed that by the inclination of his head that he was looking at the blood below his feet.

"Huh…a friend of yours?"  
"No, she was a fool…a tool of Lord Orochimaru."

"Like you?"  
He was silent for a moment, "May her death have been swift…I would assume your companions killed the girl without ever knowing who she was or that it was even her that they had killed…a useful jutsu introduced to us by the Akatsuki… 'Shapeshifting' is what they call it."

I suddenly recalled a jutsu I encountered in Sunagakure that used a person as a puppet while who you thought it was could be miles away. "What is with all of the talk? Tired of being silent?"

The shinobi did not answer; he merely stood there staring at me through the slits in his mask.

"Well I am sorry to tell you, but before this is done you will be spending an eternity in silence…dead men don't speak." I rushed him at full speed. I needed to wear him down some, get in hits wherever I could. My only chance was to use lightning blade as soon as possible but that wasn't something a person voluntarily stands still for. With how fast this guy is I may have to physically restrain him as I did with Zabuza those years ago.

He dodged my every strike easily. He never blocked, only dodged. He was too fast even for me even with my sharingan in use…if Zabuza was here he could use his silent killing technique and have much more of a chance of success than I, but I have no idea where he is or if he is even still alive.

A mistake…it was so simple and I was so lucky to see it! He took one small wrong step and I could hit him! I struck immediately, my foot colliding with the side of his head hard enough to knock him several feet away from me, his mask flying further down the hall. The shinobi remained still, on his hands and knees, with his hair remaining to hide his face.

I sprinted foreword to hit him again but was met with another fast elusion. I returned his quick stepping with fast footwork of my own and moved to strike again, this time with a kunai in my hand. He finally turned to face me…the shinobi's face seemingly frozen in my vision for an eternity.

It couldn't be…

With one fluid motion he had knocked me out in the midst of my sheer astonishment.

…

She vanished! Right before my eyes the damn kunoichi vanished! I stood on a thick branch scanning the area with fleeting eyes. How the hell did this happen? How is that bitch so fast?

If there is one thing that has saved my ass over the years, other than my brute strength that is, it would be my keen hearing. I spun around and grabbed the woman by the throat. Her pale blue eyes went wide as I expertly shifted my hand, using that infamous strength of mine, and snapped her neck. After a moment of taking in my kill I let her drop a good twenty feet to the ground. I looked back in the direction from which I was lead and started back. She had not taken me far, the little kunoichi zigzagged a lot through the trees…that is one advantage the smaller-built shinobi have against me. I made it back fast enough and ran around to where Deidara had apparently blasted a giant opening for us. I ran in then stopped. Has it really been so long? I looked both ways for a moment.

Left! Left is where Sasuke's laboratories are I am sure of it! I sprinted down the hall hoping I was not too late and missed out on a good fight!

…

Standing there I am not sure either of us knew what to do, but by the smug look on Sasuke's face he was positive of his every intention. The tunnel had opened up into a very large, circular cavern lit by blue-flamed torches. The water came from a waterfall cascading down from about midway up the wall opposite of the entrance and poured into a ring of clear water surrounding where we stood and eventually draining out into the river we came up on. The water obviously came from the same body we met the two sound ninja on, and this secret room must be why the hideout is shaped like a ring, with all doors on the outside. I never would have put the two together to guess that it hid this place in its core. I was surprised to see Hidan kneeling a few feet behind Sasuke, I was sure Deidara had killed him, but I did not put much thought to it…there is but one thing that matters now.

Itachi was still as a statue even when Sasuke began laughing, a cold and evil sound that caused me to flinch.

"Well you both made it all the way back to me…how sweet!" He continued to smile. "Hidan, why don't you go alert Madara of our guests' arrival?"

Hidan stood up, giving one last glance back at the both of us, then leapt through the falling water into what was apparently a hidden passage.

"So brother and lover came to avenge dear little Sasuke! It touches me, it truly does!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I took a solitary step foreword as I yelled. I could not stand to hear that sing-song voice mocking me…Orochimaru would pay for every little wrong he ever did me, I swear it!

"Well, well Itachi it looks like you have been keeping your hands full, this little spitfire giving you much trouble?"

My throat tightened as I tried not to yell back…I had to stay calm, he wanted to get me off guard and I could not let that happen! Our plan must fall through perfectly…if it did then I could get my revenge at last.

…

We sprinted down the tunnel, watching the eerie blue light at the end get bigger and bigger, eventually splitting off into multiple, smaller lights.

"HEY!"

We both stopped and turned, scanning for the source of the voice.

"Over here," Our eyes landed on Deidara at the same time. We walked over to him. His leg appeared to be injured as he was holding himself up with quivering arms on the stone wall. "Fuck, the ANBU elite you two are. Ran right past me and didn't even notice!"

"Shut up…what the hell is this place?"  
"I don't know…Itachi called it a secret whatever…some place to hide the jinchuriki." He let go of the wall and balanced himself on his left leg, which also appeared to be just as tired of his arms.

"The jinchuriki? So Naruto is down here?"  
"I don't know…MAYBE." Deidara was apparently in a very foul mood…he had probably been dragging himself all the way down this tunnel for a while now.

"What happened to your leg anyways?"

"Fucker broke it…I killed him though so it was worth it."

I tried not to laugh…he almost sounded like a younger, less rational me. "Well why didn't you use one of your clay things to fly down here instead of dragging along like a sick puppy."

"BECAUSE I CAN'T," he snarled. "If I could I would have done it! This damn tunnel is too small for one big enough to carry my weight."

"Hey do you two mind keeping it down? And we should really move on now, this mission is best executed as quickly as possible."

"Right," Choukichi started back off down the tunnel. I was about to follow then I noticed the angry, pouty, childish look Deidara was giving me. "What? You can make it you were doing so well when we found you."

His brow furrowed with annoyance at my sarcastic baiting but his mouth remained in the same aggravated pout. Not wanting to waste more time I decided to just give him what he wanted. I turned and bent my knees to accompany his shorter stature then helped him onto my back. I heard him hiss as I touched his injured leg, but instead of being a brat about it he just put up with it…as it was a guy like him with a prouder-than-a-lion demeanor must be nearly crushed by these circumstances. I sprinted to catch up with Choukichi, Deidara clinging to me as I dashed unsteadily over the erratic surface of the river.

…

I watched him. I had pulled down his mask, revealing a site not many people have seen. The side of my head was throbbing where Kakashi had kicked me…I guess I had let my excitement about truly facing the copycat ninja after all these years get to me, I do not see how else I would have made a wrong move like that. I was sick of squatting here in front of him, but I would not leave till he had woken.

Finally he opened his mismatched eyes, after a second of taking in his situation he looked up at me. "A paralysis technique?"

"Yes," I tried to keep my face emotionless, but the circumstances made it very hard.

"So you are the one who betrayed the Leaf…to be honest I never would have suspected you, not ever. So how long have you been leaking information?"

"Hmm…roughly sixteen years."

"So since the ninetails attack…is that the milestone you were looking for?"

"More or less."

Kakashi remained staring directly at me, blinking as few times as humanly possible. "So it was your parents?"

"Yes."

"Do you intend to answer every question I ask?"

"Yes."  
"Then kill me right?"  
"Yes," I did not hesitate in the slightest. There was nothing to think about that was my intention…have one last conversation with this man then take him out of the equation before returning to my master.

"I suppose it would be stupid of me to ask if you really think it was truly Konoha's fault that your parents were killed."

"There corrupt elders ultimately lead to the event which killed them, there is no question to be asked." I pulled one of my swords from it sheath and held it ready in my hands.

"I see." Kakashi was silent for a while. "I do not know if I have anymore questions. I would just like you to know that the people of Konoha loved you…whether it is right or wrong that you are doing what you do it is not my place to say. I just hope you allow them to remain believing that you died…if nothing else then for your student's sake, those children don't deserve to know this, Iruka."

"Yes…I plan to."

Kakashi smiled, "thank you…and Naruto-"

I passed the blade across his throat; it was sharp and ran smooth. "Naruto will not have to worry…he will be dead."


	52. In The End

I caught up to Choukichi easily enough even with my extra "baggage." He was standing in the entryway of what appeared to be a very large room, the heart of the headquarters. It was cavernous, the floor was raised a good twelve feet above the surface of the water which circumference it. He was listening to the conversation above us. I stepped up next to him silently and Deidara dropped down as equally quiet, his hand remained on my shoulder for balance. Choukichi looked at the both of us; he glanced down at Deidara's leg for a second then directed his attention back to the floor.

"You should have splinted that before you moved at all."

"Yea whatever."

Choukichi looked back at us, "let's get up there then."

"Right," After Choukichi had jumped up I grabbed Deidara, took a step back for a little extra momentum, and jumped up. I caught on to the ledge and pulled us the rest of the way up. Suigetsu and Itachi had turned around to view our entrance. The look on Suigetsu's face was…it was like he wanted us gone. He was looking directly at me, complete eye contact, screaming in silence for me to leave.

I stood up, Deidara remained sitting on the ground, and Suigetsu remained staring at me in some sort of secretive-broken horror. Sasuke was standing about twenty feet or so from them, smiling like a psycho.

"Well then you all finally made it…or no, Kakashi and Kisame are missing, correct?"

Itachi turned back to him; Suigetsu remained looking at me for a moment longer then turned as well.

"Excellent, Tetsuya I would have honestly thought this would have taken less time." We all turned again, the male masked ninja had appeared just behind me…how had I not heard him? "Where is Yanagi?"

"She lead Kisame away…Well, I guess she is dead." A second later we heard running down the tunnel.

"Fine then, she was not of much use anyways."

"Yanagi?" Choukichi sounded astounded, "Ichibara Yanagi?"

"Ah yes, you are the ANBU Head Captain of Konoha, you would be familiar with my Yanagi."

Tetsuya moved past us, I tensed at being so close to an opponent and not striking him…the time would come, and stood beside Sasuke. A moment later Kisame leapt up on the floor. He paused to take in the people gathered then moved to stand beside me.

"It seems we have the numbers on our side."

"Yea…I am not sure how much good it will do in the end."

"Hm," Kisame looked again at everyone. "Kakashi is not here?"

Choukichi turned to him, "No, he has not contacted us."  
"Kakashi is dead."

We all stared at Tetsuya; his words had frozen every one of us. Kakashi was dead? That formidable bastard was killed? I recognized this shinobi as being a true talent but I would have never expected him to take out the infamous copycat ninja, and recall it without the slightest inflection in his voice…as if it were not a feat in the slightest.

"Ah that is good to hear, I was not looking foreword to facing his tactics."

"Enough of this talking," Kisame snarled, "I want to rip you apart!"

"Kisame, leave him to us. You help them…Hidan is here too, you will have your hands full soon enough. We can take care of this." Itachi spoke without looking away from his brother.

"You heard him, Tetsuya. Take care of those four; let me play with these two for a bit."

"Yes, my Lord," Tetsuya stepped out and away from his master. He walked towards us, drawing his two swords nonchalantly.

Choukichi stepped back to stand in a line with Kisame and me. "I need to search for Naruto, he is not here."  
"Right…so we take care of this and you sneak away."

"Exactly."

"As long as I get a real fight out of all this." Kisame adjusted the samehada in his hands eagerly.

"Don't expect you can get away."

"Captain, there is a passageway behind the waterfall."

"Right, Itachi, I will be sure to see to that."

Tetsuya charged at us faster than either of us were entirely ready for, his target was Choukichi. Kisame took the lead on the defense. Kisame is one of the most physically strong people I have every known, and while this shinobi was fast and devious but he could not hold well under Kisame's brute strength. Even holding his counter with both swords, two arms, Tetsuya buckled under the blow. I could hear the fight between Sasuke and Itachi and Suigetsu beginning, but I kept my focus on my own opponent. Choukichi took the time to make a dash for the waterfall. I blocked Tetsuya's attempt to stop him. He blocked be, made a strike of his own which I contested easy enough but then he moved around me. I turned to stop him but he was too fast, luckily Kisame came out of nowhere and gave Choukichi the time he needed to close the distance…nearly. In one movement Tetsuya had blocked Kisame, literally used him to jump from and landed a short distance from Choukichi. In a flash he had grabbed the captain by the shoulder of his vest and threw him back with a powerful step into a turn. The movement was the prelude to his high-speed attack which, luckily, Choukichi managed to get back on his feet to counter. This guy was trouble, and I knew that if Choukichi was even able to get away Kisame and I would not be able to hold such a force back for long.

…

I watched mostly Itachi and Suigetsu. I was surprised how well they worked together in fighting Sasuke. I would have expected that they would be stuck on the defensive for the most if not whole part of the fight but they made their own strike sooner than I had deemed them capable of. I glanced at Kisame and the others. They seemed to be struggling a bit more with their opponent. I wanted to help but I was near spent. Choukichi-sama wanted to get to Naruto but I do no think that they could get him there just doing what they were doing. IF I just helped out a little, made my bombs a little less potent then a may have enough chakra to be of use. Besides if I am aiming to distract rather than maim the opponent I shouldn't need more than a few creations that are little more than fireworks and even with my chakra as low as it is I can manage this.

I quickly began molding my clay. As I had reached into the pouch I noticed that the amount of clay was getting pretty low…I may just run out of material before I run out of energy. I looked back to Itachi and Suigetsu. While they were currently doing better than the others I had a feeling that Sasuke was holding back, just toying with them for the moment. I realized it may be more crucial to help them out when they inevitably end up needing it. But the "real" mission was to get back Naruto for Konoha, so I guess I should help Choukichi out some. I will just have to save some for when Itachi and Suigetsu need it.

The bomb I had was ready. I watched Zabuza, Choukichi, and Kisame struggle for another minute then sent it over. IT was lucky that the shinobi was distracted with Zabuza and Choukichi attacking him at once or he probably would have been able to dodge the bomb. I waited till Zabuza was stepping back to strike then it exploded near his face. The man was busy flinching out of the way from the explosion that he got hit in the ribs by Kisame's samehada. It was not planned out but it was lucky that Kisame was the one to hit him; his chakra-absorbing samehada would be more helpful in the long run. As he jumped back I could already see that Tetsuya had been slowed considerably by the blow. Zabuza wasted no time and moved in. Tetsuya was able to block him but just barely. He moved as fast as he could back in to a standing position. Instead of running, Choukichi took the chance to try and hit him from behind. It was a narrow escape yet again, followed by another as Zabuza tried again on the offense. By the time Kisame joined in the Sound ninja's stance was a lot less confident, it seemed like they were overwhelming him now.

I trusted they were doing well enough I now turned to my other comrades. They were causing a bit more commotion; it had been hard to not look to them even while helping Kisame and the others. Sasuke was more or less merely toying with them. It was clear that he had the upper hand here…Itachi had more-or-less said that he had one over on Sasuke, but it did not appear to be the case or if he did he was holding back. I could not imagine why waiting would help them out, both Itachi and Suigetsu had little stamina. If they needed it I would, of course, step in to help…"step in" being metaphorical…but I could feel that I was plenty drained

What I did not understand was that neither Suigetsu nor Itachi were making any real moves. Itachi kept to more rudimentary jutsus and Suigetsu did little more than parry any physical attacks from Sasuke. Again I had to ask myself why they would hold back. Were they waiting for him to wear down? Chances are they would run out of chakra before he would and without ever going on the offence.

I turned momentarily back to the fight between the others and the Sound ninja. They seemed to be fairing neither better nor worse than before. Tetsuya appeared to be rather alarmed at losing his previous foothold in the fight. Then, just as Tetsuya was caught up with Kisame and Zabuza, Choukichi made a dash for the tunnel again. It took but an instant for the enemy to notice his escape. He turned to run after him but this time Kisame was successful in blocking him. He once again landed a blow on the opponent, on his side this time. He backed up and Zabuza attacked. Tetsuya managed to parry the blow despite the fact that he was still reeling from his recent hit.

Suddenly Kisame leapt into the other fight. Itachi yelled to him to return to his own fight but words would not stop the Kirigakure native, his bloodlust was too great. He swung the samehada at Sasuke who, of course, dodged it easily. Itachi seemed to accept Kisame's hand in the fight and used the aftermath of his sudden attack to try to get at Sasuke himself. Sasuke was a little slower at dodging this time. Bombard him, that appeared to work for getting at his subordinate, perhaps they had a chance after all?

Then Suigetsu came in to strike. It appeared that he and Kisame were slowly moving Sasuke towards the water. It made sense that they would, they were both from the Water country after all, and it would be where they are most comfortable.

I turned back to see how well Zabuza was holding off Tetsuya all on his own. I was surprised to see him overwhelming the enemy without any help. In truth, Tetsuya looked a bit more panicky than before. Suddenly the Sound ninja took a leap back. Zabuza ran at him, his giant sword ready to rip through flesh and shatter bone.

It happened so fast I almost did not catch it.

Tetsuya, in one swift motion, rolled right between Zabuza's legs at the very last moment…just before Zabuza's sword would have ripped him apart. He shot out his blade and it sliced into the inner side of Zabuza's left leg. His knee buckled almost instantly. The second Tetsuya was clear he sprinted towards the tunnel.

…

"Shit," I turned and got up, ignoring my wound which was practically numb anyways, and ran towards the tunnel. My knee buckled again and I fell. I stared at the waterfall through which Tetsuya had followed Choukichi. I didn't have to follow we were only to hold him off as long as we could then assist Itachi and Suigetsu.

I looked down at my leg where blood was now pouring at an alarming rate. Arteries, of course, I should have realized why he targeted that particular area right away. I quickly tore a wide strip from my pants and tied it as tightly as I could above the wound. I then tore more off to cover the wound itself. When I was finished I looked up at the fight happening before me just in time to see Suigetsu move to attack Sasuke. Sasuke blocked him then struck Suigetsu on the side of the head with the butt of his sword. He fell off the ledge into the water. Although as he fell Suigetsu appeared to still be conscious, Itachi followed him. Kisame continued to attack Sasuke. Again and again he struck at him; I wondered if he should have been assisting them to begin with because he was doing a lot better than either Suigetsu or Itachi were.

After a minute both Suigetsu and Itachi reappeared. Itachi moved to continue fighting Sasuke and Suigetsu grabbed Kisame by the shoulder and pulled him aside. He had apparently convinced him to leave it to Kisame and they both headed towards me.

"What is Itachi thinking? I looked from one to the other, you guys should stay there and help…you were doing well when it was all three of you."  
"He wants to end this himself that is all." Suigetsu spoke without looking at me; his eyes were on the fight.

I said no more. Fine, let that Uchiha brat make this all too personal. The goal is to kill Orochimaru so that he can do no more in this world, not get petty revenge. I am surprised that Suigetsu did not insist on remaining in the fight, from where I see it Orochimaru has done more harm to him than to Itachi.

I turned back to the fight. Itachi was doing pretty well actually. I guess he may have been saving himself the whole time for this moment. Sasuke still appeared to have the upper hand though, he was definitely faster than his brother though Itachi seemed to be far more experience with the sword. They both had their short swords out and were parrying, Sasuke may have been faster to strike but Itachi had much more advanced moves…moves I had never seen come out of Konoha. In fact, I recognized a few signature moves taught to swordsmen of the Mist. I guess during their partnership Kisame must have taught him a few things…which is good or Sasuke may have beaten him down by now. Itachi moved past a rather lazy strike by Sasuke and landed a hit. He sliced diagonally across Sasuke's chest, it was not a deep cut but it caused the shinobi to jump far back and hold off for a moment. He stared, either dumbfounded or frozen by rage, at the wound.

Itachi stood still…why didn't he strike? He could clear that distance and end this, but he didn't move a muscle. I saw Suigetsu and Kisame in my peripheral, and Deidara in the other, they were just like me…frozen in the moment, waiting anxiously for either of them to move.

One thousand birds.

The sound echoed in the vast hall, the shrill cry seemed to be the only thing I could hear as I watched the dazzling blue-white light dance on the walls. The instant before Sasuke ran seemed to move slower than any moment of my life. This was it…he was too fast…we lost. I doubt that any one person here could stand a chance against Sasuke. Deidara and I were injured, Kisame was good but he couldn't do it alone, and I know Suigetsu is worn nearly to his limit by now.

We lost.

Kisame jumped up, faster than I had ever seen him move, and started at the two but Suigetsu jumped up and stopped him. Itachi, in the split second before Sasuke reached him, looked toward us. He was not looking at Kisame though, he was looking at me. The already painfully slow moment screamed to a near standstill as he stared dead on into my eyes.

There was something wrong…something was not right but I could not place it-

THE SHARINGAN!  
It was not there…what did he have to gain without using his trump card?

As Sasuke's hand tore through his chest, coming out the other side in a fountain of blood, it was all clear. Like leaves forced from a tree in a harsh wind, the guise of Itachi was gone, and at the same time the water clone that was holding on to Kisame's arm fell to a puddle on the floor.

Before everything had registered in my mind, the true Itachi appeared. He leapt up from the water where he had been hiding and rushed at his brother's back, sword drawn. He cleared the distance in a near inhuman time and plunged the blade through Sasuke's back and through his chest.

Everything froze.

Itachi's face was calm yet twisted with emotion, Suigetsu slumped forward, his whole body was limp, the only thing keeping him upright was the fact that he was skewered on Sasuke's arm. And Sasuke stood there, pinned between his brother and his lover in some sick, ironic turn of events. And it was Sasuke…his eyes were not the cold yellow there were moments before, they were the same dark eyes I remembered. Yet, unlike how I remembered them, they were not calculating and conceited…they were soft, wide, and in shock. He was stuck there staring into Suigetsu's lifeless face.

Suddenly the control of Orochimaru was back. Sasuke turned quickly, tearing his arm from Suigetsu who fell, first forward to slump on to Sasuke's shoulder then dropped to the ground where he remained. Sasuke grabbed his brother by the back of the neck, Suigetsu's blood dripping from his hand into Itachi's hair, and stared dead into his eyes. A sick smile spread across his alabaster face. Itachi hesitated for only a second then pushed the blade in to the hilt, turning it as he did so. Sasuke cried out, blood spewing from his open mouth along with what appeared to be a small white snake.

In an instant Itachi pulled the sword out then cast a jutsu upon the ghostly reptile. Black flames engulfed it; the snake writhed for a moment then was still. Sasuke remained standing for a short while, and then fell to his knees.

…

It was me. I could not feel him anywhere. For the first time in what felt like years I saw my own life unfolding…and now it is fading. Even these last thoughts are so foggy I doubt they are even completely registering…they barely exist.

I turned head slowly; my every muscle felt relaxed making my body heavy. Even through my failing vision I could tell it was him…Suigetsu. It hurt…I felt anger. I was mad at myself…at the world. How can life thrust something as beautiful as love and then give you the choice to rip it apart? How could that have been an option? How could I have taken that path willingly? As soon as you let your guard down, as soon as you fall in love, it should be the only thing that matters…there should not be any other choice.

I could ever so faintly hear someone to my left…Itachi. I did not want to turn and see my brother, I did not care to acknowledge him at all, I wanted to go out in peace. I no longer care that he won, it is finally over.

…

I stood my ground. I ignored the usual pain coursing through my body, we would soon obtain the antidote for that anyhow, and my head cleared as well. I was nothing and that is how I deal with these things, I am not there, I did nothing, I am merely a bystander in the events that could haunt me forever if I allowed them such a privilege.

Sasuke fell sideways, his head falling to rest against one of Suigetsu's legs. I continued to watch him, my brother…his breath had already ceased and his eyes had gone murky.

I swallowed, the small movement bringing my body and mind back to life. I inhaled slowly and deeply and allowed my sword to drop from my hand.

I walked past the two bodies and to Kisame. Kisame, like Zabuza and Deidara, was utterly still and surveying my every move.

"Kisame-san, would you go see if you can find Choukichi…as far as we know he may still be fighting his fight down here."

"Right," Kisame continued looking at me for another second then rushed off.

Zabuza stood a little unsteadily; he was favoring his left leg which was crudely bandaged and bloody. I looked to meet his eyes and found a mix of shock, anger, and confusion. I walked up to him…I suppose an explanation would be a good thing-

Abruptly, he reached out and grabbed the shoulder straps of my ANBU vest and pulled me up to stare him directly in the face. I didn't try to pull away; I made no motion whatsoever except for the occasional blinking of my eyes.

"Why…How could you be like this? Running over other people's lives for your own means?"

"That sounds a lot like you, Zabuza-san." There was silence, he knew I was right. As much as he has changed in recent years he can not deny the monster he had been. "Besides it was not like Suigetsu died unwillingly."  
"Liar! He had spoken to me about going home after this, about seeing his mother and making things right in Kiri. You lying Uchiha bastard, He didn't know a thing did he?"

"It would make sense he didn't wasn't you to know about it, Suigetsu probably figured you would act exactly like this. Of course he knew every little detail of this, it was all his idea."

After a silent second Zabuza released me, I took a step back but did not remove my gaze from him.

"If it is any consolation, I made him wait till we had no other option to go through with this. I did not thing that Orochimaru would have gotten so much stronger fusing with my brother."

"I saw it…" he turned to walk into the tunnel. "When we thought it was you out there fighting, I knew it was wrong." He walked away, jumping through the water and into the tunnel.

I could feel Deidara staring at me but I waited till I was sure everyone was gone before I acknowledged him. I turned around and walked over to him. Deidara was sitting in the same spot, a half-annoyed and half-sympathetic look on his face with his injured leg extended out in front of him, slightly to the side, and the other pulled up with his arms resting on the knee. I dropped to my knees in front of him next to his injured leg. Neither of us spoke. I slowly leaned forward and pressed my forehead to his and closed my eyes. I brought up my hands to his face and ran my thumbs slowly over his cheeks.

It was over.

Orochimaru and Sasuke were both dead. There, of course, was still the issue of Madara but he was not as rash as Orochimaru…not nearly. He would bide his time before he made his big move.

So for now I can rest.

The pain of disease and remorse did not even register with me as I felt Deidara's breath on my lips. I still feel uncertain of whether or not I 'love' him, but this foolish brat loves me and that is enough to put me at ease.

For now I can rest.

…

I walked down the tunnel slowly. I hated the thought that despite all I had done for him Suigetsu would hide something like this from me. Did he really think I would step in? Did he not realize that in the end of all his problems I let him do what he wanted? I may have put in a few words with him but I would not have prevented him from doing this…

Or would I?

I hate change! I hate that I cannot just return to killing for a dime, to pretending I had a purpose instead of actually having one. I wanted Haku back and I wanted to not have to worry about whether or not I had treated him right. I wanted to burn into history with him by my side, not go out hiding in Konoha like some guilty dog. Not many years ago I would have not cared about owing anyone anything let alone paying them back. My chances were made for myself not by some half-ass leaf ninja with a soft spot.

In retrospect I wanted to return to being the emotionless, no-law-applies-to-me, world-loathing shinobi I once was.

But I cannot do that. Instead I will run back to Konoha with my tail between my legs.

My thoughts shifted as I heard people coming down the tunnel towards me. I let my guard back down as they came into view. Kisame, Choukichi, Naruto, and Sakura were walking towards me. The two kids stopped as soon as they recognized me. Choukichi walked up to me and Kisame continued past.

"Kisame told me what happened…"  
"It's fine, it was all planned."

"So you knew of this and did not inform your captain?"  
"No, Itachi had just informed me."  
"Itachi, huh? I had though he may be a little bit of trouble."

"What does it matter, you only cared about getting the jinchuriki brat back."

"HEY I CAN HEAR YOU!"  
"Shut up Naruto," I glanced at the two in time to see her smack Naruto on the back of the head.

"Hey, that hurts you know?"

I turned around and walked back, Choukichi and the others followed. When we got back into the chamber I walked over to the bodies. I stared down at the two of them for a moment, their faces frozen in the last minutes of life. I knelt down and closed Suigetsu's eyes. I paused for a moment then closed Sasuke's as well. I could feel someone behind me. I stood up and turned around. Sakura had walked silently over here and now stood staring down at Sasuke. Her eyes were glazed over with tears but she tried to keep herself from completely losing composure. Naruto stood a ways off, as if not coming over here would make it not true that is friend was dead. I walked away, back the way we came

I was done with all of this.

…

"So what are we going to do?"

"A lot…in good time."

"What the fuck does that mean?" I scowled at Madara; I hated his pompous way of speaking to me.

"We will gather an army to defeat Konoha…drive that mistake of a Village into the ground once and for all."

"Like I didn't see that coming," I looked away. This was all too boring and political for me. "Well I hope you know what you are getting into. Up till recently the world thought you were dead, it will take a while to convince anyone you are actually back and even longer to sway them to follow you into this. Especially now that Konoha has two jinchuriki fighting on their side."

"Twenty years, thirty years…I can wait, Hidan, it will make my vengeance all the sweeter."

"Heh…I never liked sweets."

…

Finally I had received word from Captain Choukichi…the mission was a success. Kakashi was dead as well as Suigetsu, Deidara and Zabuza had both been injured but neither was anything serious, Naruto was fine and Sakura was there with him, after scouring the base they located and destroyed all of Orochimaru's work excluding the antidote for Itachi. They should be back sometime tonight. I was relieved that the mission was a success…that that monster was finally dead…but I was counting on Kakashi coming back and taking over as Hokage for me.

No such luck.

There was a knock at the office door. I bid them to come it.

Sai walked silently in and closed the door behind him. "I heard that you had received an update from the mission. Was Naruto recovered?"

"Yes, he and Sakura are perfectly fine."

Sai attempted to look nonchalant but I could tell he was very glad to hear this. "That is good; Konoha will need Sakura more than ever now that we have lost Lady Tsunade."

"Yes."

"Will you appoint her to lead medic?"

"I suppose…yes that would be my job now." We were both silent for a while. "Sai is this transition hard for you?"  
"Hm?"

"The generations have shifted. You and Sakura and Naruto will be on your own now, the squad is split up…Kakashi is dead. Change like this seems to flow so seamlessly from lower positions…but from way up here everything is leaps and bounds."  
Sai was silent for a long time. When he finally spoke it was as if the fates themselves were speaking. "Is this not how things happen? People die and others take their places. Power gets passed on to the next generation…right now children are being born who will lead the world through wars and feigned peace over and over again…is that not how it is supposed to work?"

I folded the letter before me in half and pushed it aside. "Yes, this is how everything was meant to unfold."


	53. Epilogue

"SHH!"

"Don't 'shh' me!"

"Just be quiet Reimei!"

"Fuyu no! He said to stay with mom; he'll get mad if he knew we were here!"

"Fine then you can go back, I want to know what this is about."  
"Geez, I can't believe anyone would make YOU a chuunin! You are so stupid," The young girl retreated back through the wood to the riverbank. She looked around to make sure her mother didn't notice her absence then she sat down.

Fuyu remained where he was. He was staring down from a tree into a large clearing. Few shinobi made it into the grave, most died on missions and their bodies were destroyed before an enemy could take it and learn its secrets…this was basic academy knowledge of course.

His father and a woman he did not know stood before one of these rare graves. She was silently staring at it and Zabuza was staring at her.

"So why did you not come when I first sent you notice…that was seven years ago now almost eight. You could have claimed the body…"

"No, I could not. I had wanted to live out my life with the thought that my son was alive somewhere in the world. I had truly hoped to never see him again…I knew in that way he would be happy."  
There was a painfully uncomfortable silence…at least on Zabuza's end.

"He missed you…I know he regretted leaving you there alone."  
"Maybe but he never belonged there…he was just like you Zabuza…he would have never made it in Kiri, so his body had no place there."

"Hm…"

"But thank you Zabuza-san. I read your letter everyday for a week…I am glad that he was happy in the end."

"Yes, I did not think I could express properly his feelings for the mission…for…"  
"No it was fine Zabuza, you seemed to want to brush over the topic but it is what made me most happy. Even if it was not where we thought it would be I am glad he found love…"

"Yes."

Miho turned and left, Zabuza hesitated for a minute then followed her. Fuyu remained where he was. 'This is Suigetsu's mother,' the thought wasn't very significant but he didn't want it to pass through without registering. Truth was he could barely remember Suigetsu. A few memories with him in the background, he recalled spending days with him on occasion but he always felt like Suigetsu had been too preoccupied with "grown-up stuff" to pay him much mind. And now that Fuyu was older himself, only ten years old but that was old enough to know a lifetime more than he could have fathomed then, it was understandable to him that Suigetsu didn't want to spend much time with a child. More memorable than any memories he had of his father's late friend was that he looked up to him. He respected him as a friend of his father's and admired him as a shinobi closer to his own age.

Fuyu turned back through the woods; he plopped down next to Reimei mere seconds before his father came up with Miho.

They stopped several yards away from where the two children sat. Zabuza and Miho gazed in their direction for a minute; Miho's eyes searched along the riverbank and found Konan a ways down. She was sitting with a baby propped up in her lap.

"That is your family?"  
"Yes," neither of them removed their eyes from the tranquil scene.

"Hm, I suppose the older two there are already being trained by the Village's academy."

"Yes, Reimei is moving up fast through the grades…very much like Fuyu did. He is already a chuunin."  
"A chuunin? That is very impressive, you must be proud."

"Very."

"The woman over there that must be Konan then?"

"Yes, would you like to meet her?"

"Oh no, I really must be leaving…I can not say much but Kiri is not exactly going through an easy time right now. It was hard enough to leave in the first place I really shouldn't linger…I have wasted enough time as it is." She turned to leave then paused. "That sounded horrible of me didn't it?"  
Zabuza didn't answer…it didn't faze him. Shinobi were capable of much more horrendous atrocities than being mistaken for not caring for their children.

Before Miho left she turned back to Zabuza one last time. "The youngest one, what is it's name?"  
"Her name is Masuyo…she is four months old now."

"Masuyo…did you both name her?"  
"No Konan did…I don't think that is really my area."  
"Hm, no…Fuyu, that is 'born in winter'…not very creative."  
"Not much to go with."

"Masuyo…was that a family name? On her side?"  
"Not that I know of."  
"Hm, it is a powerful name for a little girl…it may have meaning we are yet to realize." She turned away for the final time.

Zabuza returned to his family. Fuyu and Reimei were having a little argument as they followed their parents home but were trying to be hush-hush about it. When they arrived at their door there were two young shinobi there to meet them.

A relatively tall, slender girl with pale, bobbed hair stood next to a shorter boy. His pale face glowed beneath his nearly uncut dark violet hair. Both wore light packs on their backs. As soon as they noticed the group coming towards them the girl rushed over.

"Fuyu-kun, Naruto-sensei had us come here and wait for you. He says as soon as you are ready we need to leave…WE GOT A NEW MISSION!" She grinned widely and could barely hold still.

"Oh, okay Nariko…do you know what it is about? Why is it so urgent?"

"It is not urgent or else we would have come looking for you instead of waiting around…which I might mention we have been doing for OVER AN HOUR! And Sensei won't tell us what it is about till we are all together so COME ON! I wanna know what it is!"  
"Okay I need to go get some things real fast."

"Du-uh…oh and he said we could be gone for nearly a month!" She shouted after Fuyu as he rushed into the house. Nariko turned to the others standing there. "Hello Zabuza-san…Konan-san," she bowed slightly after each name, "how have you been? My aunt still says she wants to see the baby sometime."

Konan smiled "Tell Nami she is welcome to any time."  
"Yea you said that before and she just sits around then brings it up again a week later." Nariko attempted to get a good look at the baby nonchalantly as she spoke but Konan noticed and moved Masuyo to be better viewed. "She is nice, she has hair…my aunt showed me a picture once of me as a baby, it was the only one I think that wasn't damaged by the fire, and I was totally bald. I hate her for keeping it."

Konan laughed a little. Zabuza walked with Reimei to the door. Reimei went inside and to her room but Zabuza stopped to talk to the boy for a minute.

"Hello Zabuza-san."

"Tetsumaru," Zabuza nodded at him. "How is your father? I do not think I have spoken to him all month."

"He is okay…he's been home a lot lately so I guess that means everything is okay with the Village too."  
"That is good, are you planning to go into ANBU when you are older?"  
"Uh…um, I don't know," the soft-spoken boy looked around uncomfortably. Tetsu felt like he had been asked that all his life.

"It would make Choukichi-sama glad I think."

"I know…"  
Fuyu came back out with a small pack on his back and adorned more appropriate clothes for travel. "Bye dad," his father nodded and Fuyu walked to Konan, Tetsu took the chance to leave the slightly uncomfortable conversation. "Bye Konan."

"Be safe Fuyu."

Fuyu kissed his baby sister on the forehead; her dark eyes followed him silently. "Bye Masuyo-nii."

The three left swiftly, leaving Konan and Zabuza to walk into the house. Konan disappeared with Masuyo down the hall. Zabuza closed the curtains against the setting sun and then joined her. The surprisingly well-tempered child lay silently in her crib ready to drift off to sleep. Konan stood looking down at her when Zabuza joined her.

He bent down slightly and rested his chin on her shoulder, his arms wrapping around the kunoichi lovingly. Konan reached up and touched his hand and rested back into his chest.

"She is lovely."  
"Like you." He could tell she smiled that sweet, sad smile he had come to love so very much. Miho's words played back through his head, a buzzing thought that went but was not gone. "I never asked…why did you name her Masuyo?"  
"Hmm…It just…came to me I guess." Konan could still see the dream she had years ago just as clear as she saw her daughter before her now…and she was convinced she was looking at the same individual that mystified her everyday since that night. "It is a good name."

"I agree," Zabuza pulled Konan a little closer still. "Masuyo, 'to benefit the world,' and Reimei, 'dawn' they are both names of hope."

Konan was silent for a moment, "In the end, hope is all we have left."


End file.
